Tag Archives: Relationship

What’s In a Name?

For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.
Deuteronomy 7:6 (NIV)

One of the things I love about living in a small town is being known. I love walking into a restaurant, a coffee shop, or the pub and being greeted by name. I suppose some people like to be anonymous, but research consistently shows that most of us truly want to know and be known. And the beginning of that relational journey is simply knowing one another by name.

The subject of names has been surfacing a lot in my conversations of late. My local gathering of Jesus’ followers is working on a short-term initiative intended to help people learn one another’s names. I just read a fantastic article about the neuroscience that proves just how powerful using a person’s name truly is. I talk about it in business all of the time as I deliver customer service training.

One of the things that I have learned about name-use over the years is that the deeper and more intimate the relationship the more likely we are to create nicknames and pet names for one another. Conversely, as relationships break down and marriages move toward divorce we stop using one another’s names and revert to using pronouns or impersonal descriptors like “my children’s mother.” Wendy is “my treasure.” From the very beginning of our relationship, it’s been a special moniker that is hers and only hers. Between the two of us it is a sign of affection, devotion, honor, and fidelity.

Today’s chapter is one of those chapters that is misunderstood in modern cultural context. It’s a love letter disguised as a battle plan. God reminds Israel that their chosenness isn’t about muscle or merit, but about affection and fidelity. They are to enter the land clear-eyed and clear-hearted—no half-measures, no flirtations with rival gods. Destruction of idols isn’t cruelty; it’s fidelity therapy.

God promises protection, fruitfulness, and flourishing—not as wages earned, but as the natural overflow of covenant intimacy. Obedience here is not stiff-backed compliance; it’s trust leaning its full weight into the arms of a faithful Lover.

In Jewish tradition, Deuteronomy 7 is foundational for the concept of segulah—Israel as God’s treasured possession (v.6). This chosenness is not superiority; it is purpose and calling. Israel is set apart for something: to bear God’s name and reveal Him and His character in the world.

This covenant love is a foreshadowing of Jesus, who loved the world so much that He left heaven behind and became one of us. He treasured us so much that He suffered and died to pay the penalty for our sin. Then He called us to bear witness of God’s Kingdom through our love of Him and others.

The contrast could not be clearer.

The world chooses powerful.
God prefers the weak.
The world finds security in big numbers.
God prefers faith in a few.
The world indulges in surface sensual appetites.
God prescribes deep, exclusive and intimate relationship.
The world values self-centered personal ambition.
God values faithfully putting others ahead of ourselves.

In both today’s chapter and Jesus’ example, it is God who loves first. It is God who makes the covenant. It is God who promises fidelity, provision, protection, and blessing. We are the object of His love and affection.

We are His treasure.

He whispers, “My life for yours.”

When God speaks of loving His people in verses 7 and 8, the Hebrew word is ‘ahav. It is not a giddy infatuation, it’s a choice and a volitional act. In verse 9 God’s ‘ahav blesses a thousand generations of those who ‘ahav Him. God’s love invites reciprocity. Not because it needs it, but because it awakens it. And notice: God’s covenant loyalty flows toward those who love him—not as payment, but as shared intimacy.

This is mutual devotion, not transactional obedience.

In the quiet this morning, I’m reminded that God says that those who choose to follow have their names written in the Book of Life. My name is there. God knows my name. But today’s chapter reminds me that my name being written in the Book of Life is far more than just a “Hello My Name Is” name tag knowledge. That’s just the record like Wendy’s and my marriage certificate in the safe downstairs. I am God’s “treasure.” He gave His life that I might live. That kind of love awakens love in me.

Less Hallmark card, more keeping marriage vows at 3 a.m.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
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Ten Words

“Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!
Deuteronomy 5:29 (NIV)

The bedroom is absolutely quiet but for the softness of the deep breaths of fresh slumber. All is dark but for the warm glow of the nightlight near the door. I lay stretched out on the mattress and feel the warmth of my grandchild’s little body cuddled up next to mine.

This has become one of my favorite moments in life. I am happy to lay here long after the wee one has slipped into sweet dreams. Sometimes, I choose to stay until I follow them into the land of nod. In the meantime, my soul bathes in the holiness of the moment. I consider their tender young lives and the long journey ahead of them. I pray over their parents. I pray over them. Prayers of blessing, of protection, and guidance – bedtime transformed into Papa’s quiet vigil over this precious little life that I love so much.

In today’s chapter, Moses continues his final words to the next generation of his loved ones. He takes them back to the basics. In our English translation and Christian tradition we call them the Ten Commandments. In so many minds they have become nothing more than laws. Rules. Black-and-white demands of obedience. For many they are a symbol of a tyrannical God eager to punish.

As I read and shema (e.g. really listen) to the chapter, that’s not what I see and hear at all.

In Jewish tradition it’s called “the decalogue” or “ten words.” They’re not commands. In fact, rabbis speak of it being one ineffable sound of the divine from which Moses drew the ten words. What’s more, the context is not one of a tyrannical power monger but the intimate marriage vows of a lover.

God, who initiated the relationship.
God, who made a covenant with us, not the other way around.
God, who delivered us from slavery and chains.
God, with us – not our ancestors – with us here and now.
God, who amidst the chapter lays his heart bare:

“Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!

The Hebrew word for “keep” is shamar. English flattens it into simple obedience. English has a way of forcing meaning into a box that can never contain it. This is a great example. Shamar is a whole-body verb—warm, protective, attentive, deeply relational. It is the Shepherd watching over his flock by night. It is a gardener guarding her precious plants from every threat. It is tending something fragile so it survives.

The root imagery of the word comes from watchmen on the walls of the city in the darkness of night, heart steady, every sense attentive. Not policing, but protecting because what they are guarding is precious.

Suddenly, my life-long perception of ten black-and-white “commands” is laid bare for the hollow and meager interpretive shell it has always been. The ears of my heart begin to shema the intimate heart’s desire that God groaned in one ineffable utterance, from which Moses teased ten words:

I am in love with you. I have proposed to you. I have delivered you.
I desire your love and devotion.
I desire to experience your honor and respect.
I desire regular rest with you, to stop and just be together.
I desire family to be a perpetual place of life, love, and security.
I desire that life, faithfulness, and truth be the core of who we are.
I desire contentment, because if we have each other – it’s always enough.

Which brings me back to the warm glow of the nightlight in the darkness. The soft repetition of a toddlers respiration as I feel the rise and fall of that little chest pressed up against me. Papa, the night watchman guarding over this precious little life. I lie there in the holiness of the moment feeling a love I can’t even describe. I think I’ll just lie here a while longer and shamar.

It’s taken nearly sixty years, Lord. I think I’m finally starting to get it.

Wendy and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this New Year’s Eve. We’re leaving today for an early anniversary weekend getaway. As I read through my paraphrase of the ten words, it’s a good description of what I’m looking forward to savoring with m’luv.

Which means, I’m taking a few days sabbath from our chapter-a-day journey. See you next Thursday.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Promotional graphic for Tom Vander Well's Wayfarer blog and podcast, featuring icons of various podcast platforms with a photo of Tom Vander Well.
These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
A tranquil bedroom scene with a warm nightlight glowing near the door. A grandparent lies peacefully on a mattress with a grandchild cuddled close, showcasing a moment of love and protection.

Second Marriage

“We assume the responsibility for carrying out the commands…
Nehemiah 10:32a (NIV)

Among some of the historical family ephemera in my personal archives is a marriage certificate for my great-grandparents. The certificate is for their second wedding. They were married, then got divorced, and then got remarried. Ironically, I think I have the second marriage certificate for our daughter, as well. It’s funny how history repeats itself.

Some relationships are like that. They work, and then they don’t, and then the parties work through their differences and return to covenant. They recommit.

In today’s chapter, Nehemiah and the returned Hebrew exiles in Jerusalem return to their covenant with God. It’s a covenant that God refers to as a marriage on numerous occasions. In essence, the document that they sign and seal is a new marriage certificate. In yesterday’s chapter they confessed that they had broken faith and walked away from the marriage. Now, they are getting remarried.

In this marriage certificate, Nehemiah lists a number of things to which they are committing to make the relationship work. They agree to live according to the principles God laid out in the Law of Moses, to keep the sabbath, to be generous, and to be faithful to the system of worship God prescribed.

Nehemiah 10 invites me to ask not just “What do I believe?” but “What am I willing to commit to — publicly, practically, persistently?” The ink on Nehemiah’s covenant scroll reminds me that faith needs form the way that saying “I do” at the wedding needs daily relational acts that put flesh on the commitment. Promises whispered in private take root when I bind them to community, to habit, to rhythm.

I’m reminded in the quiet this morning that my relationship with God is a marriage, and each new day is like my own “signing day.” It’s a daily covenant renewal of the soul:

  • To rest when the world demands endless work.
  • To give generously when culture teaches us to hoarding.
  • To honor sacred time and sacred space.
  • To live and love distinctively, not for separation’s sake, but so that light may be visible in the dark.

Nehemiah and the Hebrews’ story is really a love story between God and a people saying again: “We’re still yours.” And that’s a sentiment I whisper in my actions each day to both God and Wendy.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
An image featuring two marriage certificates, showcasing historical family ephemera, symbolizing commitment and covenant renewal.

“Bring Mark”

Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry. 
2 Timothy 4:11 (NIV)

Paul sits alone in the Roman dungeon. Despite his words of encouragement to Timothy, despite the hope of an eternal reward that awaits him, there is no mistaking the heaviness of heart he feels as he awaits his appointment with the executioner that he knows is imminent. Paul’s final words of this the final letter are filled with loneliness…

Demas has deserted me.
Crescens left me too.
So did Titus.
Only Luke is with me.
Please come quickly.

Then Paul makes an unusual request.

Get Mark and bring him with you. I need his help.

The personal greetings in the letters of the New Testament don’t get much attention from casual readers. The names are strange, there’s no real context, and the message doesn’t have any real meaning for the reader. But those personal greetings often point to stories that are full of meaning and Paul’s request for Mark to come to him is one.

Mark was known as John Mark. He was a young man when he and his mother became followers of Jesus. Mark was present in the garden when Jesus was arrested. His mother’s house became a hideout for the disciples and Jesus’ followers during and after the crucifixion. When Paul set off on his first missionary journey to take Jesus’ message to the Gentiles in Greece and Asia Minor, young Mark was part of the entourage.

Wherever Paul went, he stirred the pot. When Paul stirred the pot things got hard. Persecution, riots, getting arrested, getting beaten, death threats, and getting stoned were what came with the territory.

Mark couldn’t handle it. He bailed on Paul and Barnabas and went home.

A few years later, Paul approached Barnabas about taking a road trip to visit all the local gatherings they’d planted on that earlier journey. Barnabas wanted to bring Mark with them. Paul wanted nothing to do with having Mark along after he wimped out on them before. Things got heated. Words were exchanged. Paul and Barnabas parted ways. Barnabas took Mark with him. Paul went in the opposite direction.

Fast forward to Paul in the final days of his earthly journey sitting alone in darkness and chains. Among the final words of this his final letter he writes:

Get Mark and bring him with you. I need his help.

We don’t know the whole story, but it is obvious that there was a reconciliation between Mark and Paul. Mark regained Paul’s trust. Paul forgave Mark for deserting him on that first journey. Their relationship was not only restored but grew. Mark became indispensable to Paul in his later years, his imprisonments, and his tireless work of spreading Jesus’ message.

As I look back at my life journey, there have been conflicts with people I love very much. I have my own moments of disagreement when things got heated, words got exchanged, and when I and my friend walked away in opposite directions. Life gets messy. I hear Jesus’ words echo in my soul as I type this in the quiet:

“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him. “
Matthew 5:23-25 (MSG)

I wish I could say that every broken relationship gets reconciled this side of heaven. That has not been my experience, but some do and as a disciple of Jesus my job is to do my part in creating the atmosphere in which reconciliation might happen. I can’t control the other person, but I do control myself. I can forgive. I can be gracious. I can reach out. I can make the first move.

Paul’s desire to have Mark by his side at the end of his earthly journey is a reminder to never give up trying to make things right in relationship.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Promotional graphic for Tom Vander Well's Wayfarer blog and podcast, featuring icons of various podcast platforms with a photo of Tom Vander Well.
These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

Not So Trivial Pursuit

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
1 Timothy 6:11 (NIV)

I was a bit surprised by the invitation. The person who asked me for coffee was on the periphery of my circles of influence, but they seemed pleasant and I looked forward to getting to know them better. We settled in at the coffee shop and began the normal get-to-know-you small talk.

It didn’t take long to for me to realize that this conversation was not going as I expected. I had not been invited to coffee to deepen a relationship. I’d been invited to a sales presentation. I’d been blind-sided. The individual was obviously passionate about what they were selling. They were knowledgable about the product, they had the pitch down, and they were intent on making the sale.

I didn’t buy. I didn’t hear from the person again. They weren’t pursuing a relationship with me. They were pursuing a sale and the money it would put in their pocket. It didn’t give me a good feeling.

Along my life journey I’ve observed that you can learn a lot about a person by what they pursue. I spend a lot of time in one-on-one networking meetings online. An icebreaker question I get asked all the time is “What are your hobbies? What do you love to do?”

I kind of hate that question because I don’t have a simple go-to answer. I don’t play golf or a sports related activity. We don’t camp. I don’t have a sprawling collection of postage stamps or baseball cards. I have things with which I dabble, but I wouldn’t call them regular go-to hobbies. The honest answer is that what Wendy and I really love more than anything else is sitting down to a nice meal, with good wine, and great people who like to talk about life for hours. Our friend Matthew calls it “conversations with Life.” That’s our hobby and we engage in it regularly.

In today’s closing chapter, Paul concludes his letter to young Timothy by describing the things he should flee (greed, love of money, love of things, discontentment, unprofitable arguments and controversies) and the things he should pursue (righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness).

As I meditated on this in the quiet this morning, it struck me that what we actively pursue in life isn’t a trivial matter. It’s important for me to think about what it is I am actively pursuing in life, and what it says about me, my heart, and my desires. Paul’s point is that we make conscious choices all the time regarding the things we flee and avoid the things we pursue. If I remain ignorant of what those things are and default to being led by my natural human appetites I tend to end up in not so great places.

I just know that I never want to blind-side anyone. If we ever sit down for a cup of coffee or a pint, I will be pursuing a deeper relationship.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
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Colors

“Over the gold altar they are to spread a blue cloth and cover that with the durable leather and put the poles in place.
Numbers 4:11 (NIV)

For Father’s Day this year, our daughter Taylor arranged for the two of us to have our portraits taken with a special camera that purports to capture the color of the energy that surrounds a person, commonly referred to as an aura. It was a fun and fascinating experience (there’s a link in the episode details to today’s post at tomvanderwell.com where you can see the results). I was pretty much covered in deep blue that faded to white above me and down the center of my chest. Taylor was surrounded with warm orange and scarlet. Together, the warmth of Taylor’s orange wrapped around us while my blue covered her.

A photo triptych showing three portraits: the left image features a man with a deep blue aura, the center image shows the man with a woman, enveloped in warm colors, and the right image depicts the woman with a warm orange and scarlet aura, smiling.

Here’s the summary of the interpretations.

Tom:
Highly intuitive and emotionally intelligent.
Likely introverted or reflective by nature.
Possibly a teacher, guide, or someone others come to for insight
On or seeking a deeper life path—spiritually, creatively, or intellectually.

Taylor:
Charismatic, confident, and emotionally intuitive.
Naturally creative—may excel in arts, communication, or leadership.
Likely very warm and approachable but with a fierce inner drive.
Possesses a radiant personal energy that can light up a room or inspire those around her.

Together:
The tryptic reveals a beautiful portrait of two strong individual spirits who meet in a space of warmth, love, and deep connection. Your daughter’s joy and warmth bring brightness to your contemplative depth, and your centered presence seems to ground her radiant energy. The central photo is not just a mix of colors—it’s a visual metaphor for a balanced, evolving, and mutually enriching relationship.

Fascinating. I think it described each of us and our relationship rather well.

I share this to make one simple observation. Stick with me here.

God is creator of all things, including the universe, its energy, and the entire spectrum of colors it contains. By the way, there are more colors than our eyes can see. Many people who have died and had Near Death Experiences (NDEs) report that in eternity everything was more colorful than they could possibly imagine and there were colors they’d never seen before.

As my followers may get sick of me repeating, God’s base language is metaphor. God layers everything with meaning. Therefore, it does not surprise me that color has meaning.

In today’s chapter, God has Moses and Aaron count the number of men between the ages of 30-50 in each of the Levite clans, then gives them instructions and responsibility for preparing and carrying the traveling tent temple known as the Tabernacle for transport. They are making preparations, after all, for their journey into the wilderness. God commands that the Ark [cue: Raiders of the Lost Ark Theme], the altar, and all the articles used in the sacrificial worship system are covered in cloth, then durable leather for safety during transport.

What struck me as I read today’s chapter is that God designated different colors of cloth for different items of the Tabernacle. Why? Because colors have meaning. For the ancient Hebrews:

Blue is associated with heaven, divinity, and God’s presence.
Red/Scarlet is associated with blood, sacrifice, and atonement.
Purple is associated with royalty, sovereignty, and nobility.

Together, these colors were metaphorical of God and His character. In fact, they still represent the same things today as they did back then. I have a purple shirt and the last time I wore it someone made a passing reference to me being royalty.

In the quiet this morning, as I meditated on these things, I was reminded that to this day I know that women will have their “colors done” to help determine the palette of colors in which they look best. Again, I find it fascinating and it made me wonder if there is possibly a connection between the color of the energy a woman emits and the colors she physically looks best in. It wouldn’t surprise me. Our creative God does things like that, layers them with connection and meaning we don’t even think about.

I head into my day today paying a little more attention to the colors in creation and being grateful to God for caring about such details. The words of Jesus are ringing in my heart:

“See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Promotional graphic for Tom Vander Well's Wayfarer blog and podcast, featuring icons of various podcast platforms with a photo of Tom Vander Well.
These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
A camera capture of auras around two individuals, showcasing deep blue and warm orange colors representing their energies.

Time to Forget

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

Over the past few years, Wendy and I have discovered a difference in the way we perceive and approach life. As we have dug into it, it’s allowed us to learn about ourselves and to better understand one another. It has to do with our orientation to time.

I have a strong orientation towards the past. I’m a lover of history. I have spent much of my life digging into I and my family’s genealogy. As I contemplate current events, I tend to seek the past for context. Even as I look to the future I tend to look to the past for patterns that might inform where things are headed.

Wendy, on the other hand, is very much future oriented. Her brain is constantly looking a step or two ahead and it informs both her present tasks and their relative priorities. Life for Wendy is a constant anticipation of what is next, while I give little thought to it.

Our very different orientations towards time often creates clashes in how we function both independently and in relationship. Knowing these differences has allowed us to be more empathetic and understanding towards one another.

This past week our local gathering of Jesus’ followers focused our thoughts on Jesus’ words in the Lord’s Prayer: “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Wendy and I spent some time talking about forgiveness and resentment, exploring whether or not we have truly forgiven those who have hurt us in the past.

As we continued our conversation, Wendy began quizzing me about a couple of individuals in my own life story who have been the source of considerable struggle for me. As we discussed these individuals and I have continued to meditate on my relationship with them and their impact on my life, it has struck me that my time orientation towards the past might lend itself to unhealthy thought patterns.

In today’s chapter, Paul references his own past and as a disciple of Jesus he had a lot of baggage. Once the most rabid enemy of Jesus and His followers, Paul had the blood of martyrs on his hands. Paul oversaw the stoning of Stephen. It is unknown how many other individuals suffered, were imprisoned, or died as a result of Paul’s zealous persecution of the Jesus Movement, but it is certainly likely that at least some of the opposition he constantly faced linked back to the suffering he once inflicted on others.

This came to mind as I read Paul’s words in today’s chapter:

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I happen to be entering a new stretch of my life journey. Old things are passing away. New things are emerging. As this happens, I am reminded by Paul’s words that I need to spiritually strain against my natural time orientations which often keep me mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually mired in what lies behind. There are some things on the road behind me that I need to forget in order to focus my mental, emotional, and spiritual energies on straining toward what is ahead.

Fortunately, I’m married to a partner whose natural orientation toward time can help me with that.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
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To Know Better

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
Ephesians 1:17 (NIV)

Yesterday at my desk I received an invite on my computer. The invitation came from Wendy asking to meet for a pre-dinner beverage downstairs in the Vander Well Pub. As we settled in at the bar, Wendy said she wanted to discuss a question I raised in a message I gave yesterday amidst our local gathering of Jesus’ followers. The message was about prayer, and specifically about the phrase Jesus used in teaching His disciples to pray: “give us this day our daily bread.” The question I raised in the message was “What is/are the thing(s) with which you struggle most to trust God?”

Wendy wanted to have a V-Dub Pub conversation to talk about each of our answers to that question.

I have to tell you that the conversation got gut-level honest and transparent. As we talked about some of the (admittedly stupid) things that I struggle to trust God for, the onion of my soul got peeled back a few layers deeper. I confess that it was uncomfortable, even though there is no one on this earth who knows me, my struggles, and my foibles as well as Wendy does. She loves me anyway. It was a good conversation, even if it was uncomfortable. As we headed upstairs to make dinner we knew one another a bit better, and we had been given the opportunity to extend grace to one another in expressing our love for one another despite our respective faith struggles.

Today our chapter-a-day journey continues through Paul’s “Prison Letters” which were written while he was under house arrest in Rome. With time on his hands waiting for Caesar to hear his case, Paul took the opportunity to pen letters to the local gatherings of Jesus’ followers he’d established in his travels. With the exception of the personal letter to Philemon, the Prison Letters were written to address entire gatherings of people. As with the letter to the Colossians that we just finished on this chapter-a-day trek, Paul intended his letter to the Ephesians to be read to the entire gathering for the purposes of teaching and instruction. He also expected that the local gatherings in different locations would exchange letters once they were read so that all the different local gatherings would benefit from the teaching and instructions Paul wrote to each.

In today’s opening chapter, Paul establishes that he’s got some mind-blowing spiritual truths he wants to lay on the believers in Ephesus. He’s going to expand their minds and hearts to think about God’s plans and purposes for life on a cosmic spiritual level. As he’s introducing this, he states that his purpose in doing so is so that the believers might “know [God] better.”

Which immediately took my mind to my message yesterday. I observed in my message that Jesus perpetually uses the metaphor of marriage to describe the relationship He wants to have with His followers. Jesus described Himself as “the bridegroom” and we as His “bride.” Like a marriage, Wendy and I communicate in different ways at different times for different relational purposes. Despite the many years that we have been married, and despite the fact that Wendy knows me better than anyone, there are still opportunities to sit at the bar, have a gut-level conversation, and peel back another layer of the onion of our souls.

There is always an opportunity to know one another better.

In the quiet this morning, I simply find myself acknowledging that after almost 45 years of relationship with Jesus I still have opportunity to know Him better. Perhaps I should set an appointment to meet Jesus in the V-Dub Pub for a conversation before dinner tonight.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

The Sex Thing

The Sex Thing (CaD Lev 18) Wayfarer

“You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices.
Leviticus 18:3 (NIV)

Sex is always such a hot topic. It is one of our most basic human appetites, and it is naturally one of the strongest and most pleasurable as it drives the perpetuation of life. Like all human appetites, we sinful human beings love to indulge it to excess.

We indulge our appetite for food into gluttony.
We indulge our appetite for rest into sloth.
We indulge our appetite for pride into vanity.
We indulge our appetite for daily provision into greed.

All of these appetites are natural and God-given. We need them for life. One of the insidious effects of Alzheimer’s Disease that I watched slowly destroy my mother’s body is the loss of appetite for food. She forgot that she was hungry. For the last several years of her life her diet consisted of some blueberry yogurt and chocolate nutritional drink. My dad had to practically force her to eat that, or she wouldn’t have eaten a thing. At one point she weighed under 90 pounds.

Our appetites are good and meant for our physical health and life. This includes our appetite for sex. God even dedicates an entire piece of the Great Story, Song of Solomon (a.k.a Song of Songs), to an ancient poem about the sexual appetites of young lovers. When I attended a fundamentalist Baptist Bible college I remember observing the professors contort themselves to explain all of the human sexuality out of the text, turning it into nothing more than a spiritual allegory. One of the problems I’ve observed with the institutional church is that it picks the things on which it focuses, and the subject of sex (other than prohibiting a few aspects of it) is avoided more than any other.

Of course, what makes our appetite for sex different than the other God-given appetites is that all the other appetites and our indulgence in them affect the people around us. Sex involves direct participation with another person. This adds potent and intense dynamics of human relationship, power, intimacy, and abuse.

Today’s chapter is all about sexual prohibitions that God gave to the ancient Hebrew people. Along my life journey, I’ve observed that only one verse of this chapter (the prohibition of homosexual sex) gets quoted or discussed today. That’s a shame, because the context in which that verse was given is, I think, important.

A couple of observations:

First, the list of sexual prohibitions in today’s chapter is preceded with a preamble. God makes it clear that all of the behaviors he’s about to prohibit are things that the Egyptians and Canaanite people groups indulge in. Sex was indulged in without boundary or restraint, and the bulk of the list of prohibitions have to do with incestuous relationships. The Egyptian royals were infamous for their practice of incest to “keep the bloodline pure.” King Tut was a classic example of the consequences, his body genetically disfigured and his life shortened.

Second, these were all patriarchal, male dominated cultures. Guess who drove the indulgence of sexual appetites out of their sheer power, authority, and domination in family and culture? [cue: looking in the mirror]

Third, the sexual appetite was designed by our Creator God for the perpetuation of life through reproduction. It is a physical appetite and it is pleasurable and intimate, but the ultimate physical result is new life. New life (a.k.a being “born again,” resurrection, redemption) is an overarching core theme of the entire Great Story that can’t be ignored. In the last hundred or so years of human history we’ve developed countless ways to indulge in the pleasure of our sexual appetites and mostly eliminate the possibility of new life. The ancients did not have this luxury. Today’s chapter also addresses the way the ancients dealt with the unwanted consequences of their sexual indulgences. They sacrificed their babies to gods like Molek. An appetite that was intended to perpetuate new life becomes a catalyst for systemic infanticide.

Fourth, while today’s chapter does briefly mention a prohibition of homosexual sex, it also clearly mentions a prohibition of adultery. A fundamentalist standing in protest of homosexuality who has committed or is committing adultery is a hypocrite. As Jesus said, “Let he who is without sin…”

Fifth, as I went through the list of prohibitions today, I wrote in the margin the names of individuals within the Great Story who committed the prohibitions. David committed adultery. Solomon with his hundreds of wives and concubines took adultery to even greater indulgent excesses. David’s son Amnon and daughter Tamar had an incestuous romance going before Amnon raped her (see my second point above). Jacob married rival sisters as prohibited in verse 20. A powerful and natural sexual appetite will naturally lead to sexual indulgence like an appetite for food will lead to gluttony at the church potluck. Spiritually, they are equal in their negative effects, but we tend to focus on one and ignore the other.

Finally, in the quiet this morning, God reminds the Hebrews at the beginning and ending of the chapter that He wants them to be different than all the sexually indulgent people around them. He wants them to exemplify and enjoy pleasurable, loving, intimate, and yes productive fulfillment of sexual appetites, avoiding the negative consequences of indulgence for themselves and those around them.

Enjoy fulfilling the appetite without indulging in excess. That’s a worthwhile endeavor for me as it relates to both my sexual appetite and all the others.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

God With Us

God With Us (CaD Lev 3) Wayfarer

The priest shall burn them on the altar as a food offering, a pleasing aroma. All the fat is the Lord’s.
Leviticus 3:16 (NIV)

I saw an adorable post on social media the other day. A young child had been given the assignment to draw what it means to be “safe.” The child made a rudimentary sketch of himself in bed between his dad and mom. Such a simple childlike understanding. “If I’m with dad and mom, all is right with the world. I’m loved, provided for, and protected.”

The Hebrews had a word for that sense of wholeness, peace, and well-being: Shalom. While the word is literally translated as “peace,” it has a much broader definition that envelopes experiencing that feeling of “God is good. Life is good. I’m good.

It is difficult for a modern reader to understand how radical the instructions God was giving to Moses and the Hebrew people was at the time it was given. The world in which the Hebrews lived was filled with thousands of gods. Egypt alone had well over a thousand gods in their religious pantheon. The gods were often attached to a place. Every town and city-state had its own god. So when you left that town, you left that god and would go visit the god of the next town. In ancient Mesopotamian religions, the gods inhabited their own spirit world and had little regard for human beings who were lesser than and relatively unimportant to them and their world.

The God of Moses is so very different.

God initiated the relationship with Moses and the Hebrews. He heard their cries from slavery, showed up, and delivered them. He’s led them into the wilderness and now God initiates the establishment of an ongoing daily life and relationship with them. They don’t have a place yet. Thus, God has Moses create a tent temple that they can carry with them. Wherever they camp, they set up God’s tent temple smack-dab in the center of camp. The people set-up camp around it. God isn’t associated with a place, He is associating Himself with a people. He is Immanuel: “God with us.”

This is important in understanding the third of the five different sacrifices God establishes for His people to make on the altar of His tent temple in today’s chapter. It is known as a “fellowship” offering, but also as a “peace” offering because the word used for this offering is rooted in the Hebrew word “shalom.”

What makes the Fellowship offering unique is that it is the only one of the five offerings in which the person or persons bringing it get to participate in consuming the food that is burnt on the altar. All of the other offerings are handed to the priests, the priests then handle the sacrifice and, at that point, everything is between the priest and God. With the “fellowship” offering, everyone is involved in sharing the offering together. It is, in a sense a communal meal together with the individual, the priest, and God. It foreshadows a day when God Himself will come to the table, make Himself the offering, and say to us, “Take this and eat. It’s my body broken for you. Take this and drink it. It’s my blood shed for you. Do this whenever you get together an remember.”

But humanity isn’t there yet. They are just infants and toddlers in their understanding of this One God, this Creator God, who is also a parent. God is providing simple ways to show the ancient children so that they might understand. He is with them. He loves them. He is protecting them. He will provide for them. “I’m right here in the center of your world, your community, and your family. Cuddle in next to me, my child. Be safe. Find shalom.”

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!