Tag Archives: Faith

Remember: Getting My Head and Heart Aligned

Do not boast about tomorrow,
    for you do not know what a day may bring.

Proverbs 27:1 (NIV)

It’s been a couple of weeks now that Wendy and I have joined the rest of the world in keeping to ourselves. My home office is the most organized that it’s ever been. Our house is clean. Honey-dos have that have been on the task list for a long time have gotten done. We’re almost caught up on This is Us after binging on it this week. We had a FaceTime marathon with family yesterday afternoon. And, I’ve dusted off the never-ending work on my family tree and the giant tub of old family photos and ephemera.

Who saw this COVID-19 global quarantine coming? Who knows where this is all going to lead?

On this earthly journey, I’ve observed that most of us cognitively know that we can’t predict what tomorrow may bring, but we still set our hearts on some personal vision of how we expect life to play out. What I have set my heart on always seems to take precedence over what my brain knows. So, when life eventually throws me a wicked curveball I instinctively flail at it and fall all over myself like a clown (for a laugh, watch the video below), rather than having the spiritual discipline to hold my stance and wait for another pitch. Along the journey, I’ve found that I have to repeatedly and consciously go through an actual process of getting my heart in sync with my brain.

Like everyone else, I’ve been medicating with the clever humor everyone is posting on social media. One of my favorite memes from the past week said: “Your grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on your couch. You can do this.”

That’s was a great dose of much-needed perspective for me. That statement also reminded me of the process I’ve had to learn to get my heart and soul aligned with what I both know and believe. It’s the same process that God, from the very beginning, taught His people: Remember.

  • Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
  • But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt.
  • Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years.
  • …so that all the days of your life you may remember the time of your departure from Egypt.
  • Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you.

I know a lot of my family’s stories. Coming to America alone and starting a new life, the hardship of the Great Depression, the rationing and struggle of the Great War, dad’s lost jobs and the time we almost lost our home, tragic deaths, financial setbacks, relational struggles, and times of uncertainty. And, through all of these tragedies and difficult circumstances, three things remained: faith, hope, and love. Sure, things changed and didn’t always turn out exactly as the storyline on which hearts were set. But, looking back and remembering, I can see God’s goodness through each story. Time and time again I can see God’s faithfulness.

It reminds me of Paul’s words to the followers of Jesus in Corinth:

You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.

2 Corinthians 4:8 (MSG)

In the quiet this morning, I continue to wonder (along with everyone else) where this whole Coronavirus crisis will take us, and what it will mean. And, if I spend too much time focused on it, I can find myself out-of-sorts. So, once again I shift-focus, look back, and remember God’s faithfulness through the generations. No matter what changes in circumstance are in my future, God’s goodness and faithfulness are what my past has taught me will never change.

if we are faithless,

    he remains faithful,

    for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:13 (NIV)

<— Click on Solomon for an indexed list of previous chapter-a-day posts from this series from Proverbs!

About This Post

These chapter-a-day posts began in 2006. It’s a very simple concept. I endeavor each weekday to read one chapter from the Bible. I then blog about my thoughts, insights, and feelings about the content of that chapter. Everyone is welcome to share this post, like this post, or add your own thoughts in a comment. Thank you to those who have become faithful, regular or occasional readers along the journey along with your encouragement.

In 2019 I began creating posts for each book, with an indexed list of all the chapters for that book. You can find the indexed list by clicking on this link.

Prior to that, I kept a cataloged index of all posts on one page. You can access that page by clicking on this link.

tomvanderwell@gmail.com @tomvanderwell

Execution Lessons

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Luke 23:42 (NIV)

Just last week I read a news blurb of a convict who was executed. It was your typical news flash on such stories in which just the basic facts were starkly recounted with little embellishment. Years ago, he was convicted of murdering his own wife. Before he died he expressed regret for what he’d done. He apologized to his loved ones, acknowledging the he understood why they couldn’t forgive him, but expressing the hope that they might someday be able to do so. He then said that he couldn’t wait to meet Jesus. He was given a lethal injection and died a few minutes later.

Fascinating. For some reason, I’ve found those few lines of news unusually coming to mind in the days since I read it. There’s more to that story.

Today’s chapter is Dr. Luke’s account of Jesus’ execution. Much like the news blurb, it recounts many facts with little embellishment. What embellishments Luke adds create more questions in me than answers.

With the eye of a playwright and storyteller, I find myself making a mental list of the characters in the story and how they contribute to the narrative.

Jesus, the lamb led to slaughter, refusing to speak or offer a defense.

Pilate, Herod, and the Jewish religious leaders are the power brokers playing their own chess matches of personal power, public opinion, and political intrigue.

Jesus twelve appointed male disciples and heirs to His earthly ministry are the key characters not present (John was there, according to his own account, but Luke does not record this).

The oft forgotten women who have traveled with Jesus, supported Jesus, and provided for Jesus and his disciples are there at a distance, witnessing the execution. This includes Jesus’ mother. One of the women is, ironically, the wife of the head of Herod’s household.

The Roman soldiers are carrying out their duty and having their sport with the victims. As an added perk they get their choice of the victims’ spoils.

The presiding military officer, a Centurion, is observing.

Then there are the three executed convicts.

What struck me was the convict who was crucified next to Jesus and came to Jesus’ defense. The only character in the entire saga of the passion who comes to Jesus’ defense is a convicted, guilty (by his own confession) death-row inmate. “Remember me when you come into your kingdom,” he said.

How did he know about Jesus’ kingdom?

There’s more to this story.

Had he been among the crowds in Galilee, or in the temple courts, who heard Jesus teach? Had he and Jesus spent time talking in a holding cell as they waited to hear the Roman soldier announce “Dead man walking.”

I find so much intriguing about this man. Jesus didn’t explain the Four Spiritual Laws and lead the man in the sinner’s prayer. Jesus only defense was to one of the weakest and least powerful characters in the story, an executed criminal by another executed criminal. The only act in this man’s “death-bed conversion” was simply to acknowledge Jesus before another convict, and humbly ask to be remembered.

In the quiet this morning I find myself thinking about the spoken faith of two guilty, convicted, executed criminals. I find myself thinking about my own guilt. I find myself thinking about Jesus’ repeated teachings about simple, small faith being all that is required. It is indicated from the story that this is true no matter the moral standing of the one expressing such simple faith.

Sometimes I think that we religious humans complicate things that Jesus presented as very simple.

Have you missed the previous chapter-a-day posts from this journey through the Gospel of Luke? Click on this image and it will take you to a quick index of the other posts!

Featured photo on today’s post courtesy of PWBaker via Flickr.

Opposite Instinct

At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.”

He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will keep on driving out demons and healing people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’ In any case, I must press on today and tomorrow and the next day—for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem!
Luke 13:31-33 (NIV)

This past Sunday I gave the message among our local gathering of Jesus’ followers. I made the simple observation that in almost every story, television show, or movie the protagonist is trying to avoid, escape, or solve death while attempting to cling to, extend, and/or enhance life. Life is such a basic human desire we hardly even give it much thought.

I found it fascinating that in today’s chapter Luke continues to foreshadow Jesus’ death. Both Pilate (an official of the occupying Roman Empire ruling over the region, who would eventually sentence Jesus to die by execution) and Herod (a regional monarch who killed John the Baptist and before whom Jesus would stand trial). Both of these rulers were known for their violence and cruelty.

Herod’s family, in particular, had a long history of holding onto power by killing anyone they saw as a threat. It was Herod’s father, Herod the Great, who upon hearing from the three wise men that a prophetic sign told them “the King of the Jews” had been born in Bethlehem, proceeded to have every baby in Bethlehem under the age of two slaughtered in an effort to prevent Jesus from growing up and threatening his reign. His son, Herod Antipas, who is referenced in today’s chapter, carried on his father’s bloody, corrupt legacy.

At the end of today’s chapter, Jesus is warned that Herod is attempting to have Him killed. In yesterday’s chapter is said that Jesus has been attracting stadium worthy crowds so large that people were trampling one another to get near Him. This would have rattled Herod. Any person with that kind of popularity was a threat to his position and power, and Herod learned from his father that clinging to power required killing anyone who was a threat to take it from you, (even if that threat is just a baby).

What I found interesting is that Jesus expresses neither fear or concern. Rather, Jesus doubles-down and tells the messengers to return to Herod and tell “that fox” that He would press on:

[Jesus] replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will keep on driving out demons and healing people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’ In any case, I must press on today and tomorrow and the next day—for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem!

Beyond the attitude of courage and perseverance in Jesus’ reply, there is also an important subtext that is lost on many readers. Jesus references three days to reach His goal, foreshadowing the three days in the grave before His resurrection. He then offers a puzzling statement about no prophet can die outside of Jerusalem.

Back in chapter 9, Luke stated that Jesus was “resolutely” fixed on going to Jerusalem. Jesus has consistently been criticizing the religious leaders and their ancestors for killing the prophets sent to them. He has also been making consistent, metaphorical references foreshadowing His own death. Jesus is on a mission and He can see how it is all going to play out. He isn’t the victim, but the instigator of events that He knows will lead to His death.

I couldn’t help but think of Jesus’ words to His followers in previous chapters:

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?

Luke 9:23-25 (NIV)

I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.

Luke 12:4 (NIV)

Everything Jesus is doing runs contrary to our most basic human instincts. Humans want to avoid and escape death at all costs. Humans want to cling to this life as long as we can along with everything we can possibly acquire within the finite amount of time we’re given. Luke offers his readers Pilate and Herod as exhibits A and B in today’s chapter. Two men at the top of the heap who will kill anyone who threatens their position, wealth, and power. Jesus, however, is the antithesis. He’s moving in the opposite direction and telling His followers that they must follow if they want to experience the Kingdom of God.

In the quiet this morning I find myself reminded of a passage I referenced in last Sunday’s message. Jesus’ friend Lazarus is dead. Lazarus’ sister, Martha, tells Jesus that if He’d have arrived sooner then her brother would not be dead. Jesus replies:

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

He then asks her a question:

“Do you believe this?”

Do I believe it?

And, if I say that I do believe it (and I have been saying it for almost 40 years), am I willing to follow Jesus in the opposite direction of the basic human instincts of this world?

Have you missed the previous chapter-a-day posts from this journey through the Gospel of Luke? Click on this image and it will take you to a quick index of the other posts!

Acute Worry-Warts

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
Luke 12:25 (NIV)

Over the past few years, I’ve taken over the leadership of the company I’ve worked for the past 25 years. As a market research and consulting firm, we tend to work on annual, recurring contracts. We’ve been blessed to enjoy client relationships that have lasted decades, but the beginning of the year is always an interesting time for us. There are no sure things. There are no long-term contracts. The workload ebbs and flows, and there are no guarantees. Working here has always required hard work, good work, and a generous dose of faith.

It’s been an interesting transition for me stepping into the leadership role. There has always been someone else a rung or two higher on the corporate ladder, and I’m glad to say that those individuals have been people I have respected and trusted, even when we had differences or disagreements. Looking back, I realize that I learned early on how to find a certain level of contentment placing my faith in both God and my colleagues who bore a greater responsibility for the company than I did. Now there are no human beings a rung or two above me.

I’ve been surprised at the challenge this change it has been for me. I confess the weight of responsibility feels heavier and the anxiety comes must faster and with greater emotional velocity. All of a sudden I’ve got acute and constant breakout of worry-warts.

That’s where God met me in this morning’s chapter. Dr. Luke begins this chapter by recording that Jesus’ miraculous mystery tour was now creating such tremendous crowds that people were crushing and trampling one another. Jesus’ teaching is gathering more and more followers. It’s no longer just his rag-tag entourage of former fishermen talking to the locals in the town synagogue. Jesus is speaking to stadium-worthy crowds. Jesus is leading a ministry organization that has experienced rapid change, explosive growth, rising expectations, growing opposition, and all the pressures that come with leadership in such situations.

In the midst of that reality he asks a simple question:

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

In the quiet this morning, as the calendar turns over and I feel the weight of leadership moving into another year of business, I needed Jesus to remind me of this rhetorical question. The reality is that things are no different than they’ve ever been. It’s been a faith journey all along. Nothing has really changed except the pressure and expectations I’m placing on my self. This means my mental and emotional focus is on my shortcomings (both real and imagined) rather than on the sufficiency of the One who has faithfully provided and led me to this place over 25 years.

Me of little faith.

After challenging His followers not to worry, Jesus adds this:

“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.

Luke 12:29-32 (MSG)

Not a bad reminder to start my day. I hope it encourages you as well, my friend. Thanks for reading.

Have you missed the previous chapter-a-day posts from this journey through the Gospel of Luke? Click on this image and it will take you to a quick index of the other posts!

The Pressure of Preparation

But Jesus turned and rebuked them.
Luke 9:55 (NIV)

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, it has been a crazy year-end for Wendy and me. A lot of travel for both business and personal reasons, two family weddings on separate shores of North America separated by only two weeks of time. Now we are packing for a trip across the Atlantic to spend the holiday with our family living there. Oh, and it’s year-end which means that for work we are wrapping up 2019 projects for clients, getting out 2020 proposals, and buttoning up all of the loose-ends of business before year’s end.

There is a certain pressure one feels when facing deadlines and feeling the pinch of time.

In today’s chapter, Dr. Luke continues to provide a series of short episodes from Jesus’ ministry. The countless times I’ve read this chapter my lenses have always been focused on the individual episodes and the spiritual lessons they have for me. In the quiet this morning, however, I found myself shifting focus to look at the larger context of what’s going on.

Luke has fast-forwarded the narrative on us. The last five chapters have concerned Jesus’ early ministry. Today, the story shifts:

As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem.

In two separate episodes within today’s chapter, Jesus predicts his impending death. He knows that when He gets to Jerusalem that He will be arrested and killed by His own people.

Jesus, quite literally, has a dead-line.

Going back and looking at the chapter in the context of Jesus knowing His time on earth is limited, I see that this is a time of intense preparation:

  • He sends the twelve out, on their own, on a ministry practicum (vss. 1-6), and tells them to trust God for all their provision, including food.
  • In the next episode, the disciples have returned from their practicum, but don’t seem to have learned much about faith in trusting God for one’s daily bread, as instructed. Jesus gives them a lesson in faith and provision as He feeds 5,000 people with a few loaves and fish. (vss. 10-17)
  • Jesus then predicts His death and attempts to impress upon his followers the seriousness of what it will ultimately mean to follow Him. (vss. 21-27)
  • Jesus gives His inner circle (Peter, James, and John) a glimpse of His true self and the glory of His being. Perhaps this was to inspire them with a better understanding of who He is and prepare them for becoming the leaders they will need to be after His departure. (vss. 28-36)
  • Jesus once again tells his followers that He is about to be executed. That’s twice in one chapter. Could it be that Jesus realizes that His followers don’t seem to be understanding and internalizing what the succession plan is going to mean for all of them? (vss. 44-48)
  • When his followers see a stranger performing miracles in Jesus’ name, they quickly bring Jesus their case for infringement and copyright litigation. But Jesus will have none of it. The work of His kingdom is not an exclusive enterprise of “Jesus & His 12 Associates Incorporated,” but inclusive of all who follow and embrace God’s Kingdom. They are going to have to understand this when the events recorded in Acts begin to happen. (vss. 49-50).
  • The chapter ends with Jesus still recruiting more followers to become a part of His earthly enterprise, and rejecting the applications of those who are unfit for the job (vss. 57-62).

Jesus is looking forward. Jesus continues to plan, and He continues to work the plan. In all of the preparation, I also observe an undercurrent of Jesus feeling the pressure:

  • Jesus’ feeding of the 5,000 was not just a “Look what I can do” event. It was a “Hey, boys, don’t you get it?” event that comes on the heels of the twelve’s return from their individual ministry practicums in which they were sent out with nothing (no food, no money, and no extra clothes) and were expected to have faith in God’s provision. Immediately upon return, they come to Jesus spiritually blind to the possibility that just as God provided for one person on their missionary tour, He could also provide for 5,000. (vss. 10-17) For cross-reference read John’s testimony of Jesus’ subsequent rebuke to the crowds (John 6:25-71) which was so harsh even the twelve were rattled.
  • A demon-possessed boy is brought to Jesus, and Jesus is told that even His twelve couldn’t drive the demon away. Jesus is frustrated by His follower’s lack of faith. His response is harsh: “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you and put up with you?” (vss. 37-43)
  • After the second prediction of His upcoming death, His followers are still arguing about who among them is the greatest. Once again, Jesus immediately tries to provide them a word picture of the humility that will be required of them after His departure when they will be expected to carry on the Kingdom’s work. (vss. 46-50)
  • The twelve also don’t seem to understand the grace and mercy required of them. When a Samaritan village (good Hebrew men like the twelve had been taught to hate the racial half-breed Samaritans) does not welcome Jesus and his entourage, James and John want Jesus to kill them all with hell-fire. This earns them a stiff rebuke. (vss. 51-56)
  • While recruiting and taking applications from followers, Luke records that Jesus’ demands of those who would follow were intense. It feels like He is feeling the pressure to find the right people for the job as the window of training and preparation is closing. (vss. 57-62)

As I look at the task list this morning with all the things that must be accomplished before our impending departure, I admit to feeling the pressure of the preparation. I’m taking heart this morning that my pressure and preparation are minor earthly issues and not the issues of eternal significance Jesus was feeling in today’s chapter. Nevertheless, it’s encouraging to be reminded that even the Son of God knows the feeling.

And, I’m reminded that this is what Christmas was about. The Son of God sent into exile on Earth to live as one of us, to feel our pain, to experience the human pressures common to all of us, and to show us the way of love, faith, peace, and perseverance.

And with that, I leave you to persevere with the items on my task list as I wish you a blessing addressing the tasks on your own.

Have you missed the previous chapter-a-day posts from this journey through the Gospel of Luke? Click on this image and it will take you to a quick index of the other posts!

Finding God Inside and Outside the Box

Jesus went on to say, “To what, then, can I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to each other:
“‘We played the pipe for you,
    and you did not dance;
we sang a dirge,
    and you did not cry.’

Luke 7:31-32 (NIV)

Recently I was having a conversation with a leader in my local gathering of Jesus’ followers. He shared with me that it is quite common for locals to come to him, give witness to immoral, hypocritical, and evil words and actions done by members of our gathering, and then proceed to state that if this is the way followers of Jesus behave, then they want nothing to do with it.

Welcome to humanity.

Along my life journey, I have encountered individuals who would in no way fit inside the box of the particular brand of Christianity in which I find myself. In fact, they would eschew any notion of wearing that label. That said, I can see in these individuals’ lives and actions that they understand and embrace the things of God far more than many who live and operate inside the box and proudly advertise our brand on the bumpers of their cars.

In today’s chapter, Dr. Luke shares two stories that highlight the reality of non-religious people who “get” the things of God and religious people who don’t. It has always been a part of humanity, and Jesus encountered it regularly.

In the first encounter, Jesus is blown away by the faith of an ungodly, foreign leader whom most (if not all) of His followers would label their enemy. Jesus never even sees or meets this Roman Centurion in person. His exchange is completely done by intermediaries. First, Jesus is petitioned by leaders of his own religious box to heal a Roman Centurion’s servant. This, in and of itself, was way out of the ordinary. The Jews hated the Romans who militarily occupied their homeland, and the average Roman soldier treated the local Jewish population with natural distrust and contempt. The Jews and Romans were bitter enemies. When the Jewish leaders to speak highly of this Centurion’s kindness and generosity to Jesus’ people, it captured Jesus’ attention.

On the way to meet with the Centurion, Jesus is met by servants of the Centurion. In the Jewish tradition of the day, it would be unlawful for Jesus to enter the Centurion’s house. The Centurion knew this and humbly sends his servants to give a message to Jesus. The Roman’s message was to tell Jesus that He doesn’t have to take the risk religiously “dirtying” Himself by entering the Centurion’s home and the social criticism Jesus would receive from His own people by doing so. He trusted that if Jesus simply gave the word, his servant would be healed.

In the second story, Jesus is having dinner with one of the good, upstanding leaders of his own religious box. A woman enters and approaches Jesus. In that town, this was that woman. Everyone knew who she was by her reputation. It doesn’t take much imagination to fill in the blanks: wanton, loose, used, cheap, pitiful, tragic. Not only did she not belong inside any kind of religious box, but no one inside the box wanted her there. But, like the foreign Centurion, this local social skank gets who Jesus is, and what God is doing through Him. She falls at Jesus’ feet blesses Him with all that she has: her contrite tears, her loving kisses, and some perfume.

Jesus immediately perceives the religious contempt of his host toward the local woman. This upstanding church elder had likely known who this woman was for her entire life and had probably ignored her and held her in self-righteous contempt. Jesus makes it clear to His host that she gets the things of God more than he.

In the midst of these stories, Jesus describes religious people:

They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to each other:
“‘We played the pipe for you,
    and you did not dance;
we sang a dirge,
    and you did not cry.’

In other words, we who are religious tend to expect everyone to fit inside our religious boxes and do what we prescribe. Inside of our religious boxes, we expect people to look like us, speak our lingo fluently, know our traditions, and behave in a way we deem acceptable.

Of course, the look, the lingo, the traditions, and the expected behaviors may have little or nothing to do with truly getting the things that God actually cares about.

I am reminded this morning that Jesus faithfully lived and operated inside the religious box of His people. He went to the Temple. He taught in the synagogues. He dined, socialized, and befriended the religious leaders. He followed the religious customs and traditions. Jesus’ example tells me that the things of God can be surely found, learned, and embraced inside of my religious box.

But Jesus’ example in today’s chapter also reminds me of this truth: There will always be individuals inside my religious box who don’t get the things of God, and there will always be individuals outside of my religious box who do.

Have you missed the previous chapter-a-day posts from this journey through the Gospel of Luke? Click on this image and it will take you to a quick index of the other posts!

Grappling With “Never”

“And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.” Luke 1:20 (NIV)

“I don’t know what to with never,” Wendy confessed to me one afternoon.

There are some moments in this life journey that are etched indelibly in my brain’s memory bank, and this is one of them. When the two of us were married Wendy inherited two teenaged daughters. Still, we had always desired to have a child together. After multiple surgeries and what seemed like endless months of fruitless attempts to conceive, Wendy’s admission of fear as we stood silently in our despair on the back porch felt like a giant weight on our souls.

The story of John the Baptist’s parents in today’s chapter holds a special place in my heart. There is so much happening in the subtext of Zechariah’s conversation with the angel Gabriel that is completely lost on any reader who has not walked through the long, depressing, desolate path of infertility.

A few of observations:

  • I find it ironic that Dr. Luke diagnoses Zech and Liz’s infertility as “Elizabeth was unable to conceive.” Perhaps there’s more to this story than is told. Nevertheless, having walked this journey I know that it’s also possible the low sperm count or poor motility were the culprits of their childlessness. Of course, this medical knowledge was not available in their day, but it makes me sad that Elizabeth got the blame.
  • I’ve been digging into the theme of exile on this chapter-a-day journey over the past months. The truth is that Elizabeth and her husband were in a personal exile of their own. When you are walking the path of infertility you realize that the vast majority of people don’t understand and it’s usually emotionally painful when they try. Furthermore, you’re not sure you want to talk to those who’ve been through it themselves. Those who walked the path and ultimately conceived are just a depressing reminder that it hasn’t worked for you. Those who never conceived are a reminder that “never” is a possibility which you don’t want to face and don’t know what to do with (a la Wendy’s confession). Infertility can be horrifically isolating for the couple going through it.
  • When the angel tells Zech “Your prayer has been answered.” My husband’s heart shoots back with a cynical “Which one?” If Zech’s heart was like mine, then there’s a section of it calloused over from month-after-month, year-after-year of fervent, unanswered prayers and wiping away his wife’s river of tears.
  • When Zech asks Gabriel “How can I be sure of this?” he is, once again, being defensive and protective of the hearts of both his wife and his own. Infertility is a vicious cycle of summoning faith, raising hopes, and having them dashed again and again and again and again. The last thing the elderly husband wants to do is put his wife through it one more time.

It’s easy for the casual reader to point the finger at Zech’s lack of faith. I’m sure many Jesus followers will hear messages this Advent season comparing Mary’s simple acceptance of Gabriel’s message to Zech’s rather obvious doubt. My heart goes out to the dude. He’s been made the Steve Bartman of the Christmas story for two thousand years, but I get where he’s coming from.

In the quiet this morning I find myself contemplating the long-term effects that disappointment and unanswered prayer can have on one’s spirit. As for what to do with “never,” Wendy and I worked through it together with God. We discovered, and continue to discover, deep lessons about joy, grief, faith, perseverance, character, maturity, and hope. At the same time, there is a lingering sadness that rears itself unexpectedly at odd times, which in turn pushes me back to the lessons already learned. I plumb their depths once more.

Still, if Gabriel showed up in my office this morning and told me Wendy was going to have a baby, I totally believe that the subtext of my reaction would land somewhere between sarcastic and cynical.

Zechariah would understand.