Tag Archives: Attitude

Chapter-a-Day

The Shift

Leave a comment

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat!“
Numbers 11:4 (NIV)

There is a classic family video of when the girls were toddlers. One of their favorite toys were Polly Pockets, tiny plastic dolls that came with their own little pocket-sized doll houses. The girls want to take their Polly Pockets to bed with them, and I wouldn’t let them because they were a choking hazard. Oh, my goodness. Complete and utter emotional breakdown. So much so, that I just had to grab the video camera and video tape the moment. It is etched in my memory and ever reminds me of life’s meltdown moments.

Along my life journey, I’ve come to observe that adults have similar emotional meltdowns as toddlers, we’re just more sophisticated at it. In fact, as I meditate on it I can think of at least two full-blown adult emotional meltdowns I’ve witnessed in the past two week. One was a meltdown into rage and anger, the other into fear, anxiety, and despair.

Today’s chapter marks a major shift in the book of Numbers and establishes a recurring theme through the rest of the book. To this point, the text has continually presented the Hebrew tribes as compliant and obedient to whatever God asked of them through Moses. Today’s chapter starts with the people complaining generally about their hardships, as if it’s overwhelming public sentiment in the camp. Then it’s rabble, or a smaller group of disgruntled people with a specific complaint about God not providing an expansive enough menu. The incessant whining sends Moses, like the parent of obstinate toddlers, into his own full “I can’t do this anymore” meltdown of complaints to the Almighty.

As I think back to being both a parent and a leader in business, community, and church, all I can say is, “Yep. Been there. Done that.”

I have also noticed along my life journey that we love to pick and choose certain verses to demand literal obedience, typically those that have to do with morality like not getting drunk on wine, or ritual like keeping the Sabbath holy. But then there are verses like “greet one another with a holy kiss” that we conveniently ignore.

One of the verses that I don’t think I’ve ever heard addressed in a sermon on Sunday is from Paul’s letter to the Philippians that we just trekked through on this chapter-a-day journey a few weeks ago. Paul writes:

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing…”
Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

In the quiet this morning, it occurs to me that it’s very easy for me to think of examples both current and past in which I’ve had to endure the whining, complaining, grumbling, and arguing of others. If there’s anyone I identify with in the chapter this morning, it’s Moses. That said, I recognize that it’s easy for me to point the finger at others and ignore the three fingers pointing back at me.

Have I grumbled about anything or anyone in recent days?
Yes.
Have I been discontent with current circumstances or lot in life?
Yes.
Have I said things or acted out of either my complaints or discontent in ways that weren’t productive or conducive to building others up?
Yep.

Mea culpa.


As I head into this, another work week, today’s chapter is a good reminder about attitude, gratitude, and contentment. The Hebrews shifted from contentment and obedience to grumbling and complaining, and my observation is that this is a really easy shift for me to mindlessly make in my own heart, head, emotions, words, and behavior. The shift back to contentment and obedience requires discipline, contentment, and trust.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing…”

Lord, help me not ignore that one, and learn to trust You more.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Promotional graphic for Tom Vander Well's Wayfarer blog and podcast, featuring icons of various podcast platforms with a photo of Tom Vander Well.
These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
A family video capturing toddlers playing with Polly Pocket dolls and experiencing emotional moments.
Chapter-a-Day

The Great Omission

Leave a comment

The Great Omission (CaD Matt 11) – Wayfarer

When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

Jesus replied, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.”
Matthew 11:2-6 (NIV)

I have been working diligently on some upcoming messages of late. I have the honor this year of delivering the Good Friday message this year before my local gathering of Jesus’ followers. The story of Jesus climactic final day on earth is more dramatic than most people realize. It is a microcosm of the base conflict of the entire Great Story between good and evil, the Kingdom of God and the Prince of this World and the Kingdoms of the Earth. I’m looking forward to unpacking it for those spiritually trekking through Holy Week on the way to Resurrection Sunday.

I’m also working on a trinity of messages I’ll be delivering in May that will together form a unified whole. The first of those three messages is based on the episode in today’s chapter. Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist, is languishing in Herod’s prison. His crime? He was publicly critical of Herod’s incestuous marriage to his brother’s ex-wife, Herodius, who was also his niece. The playbook of those with earthly power was the same then as it is today: silence and suppress your critics. Thus, John sat silenced and suffering in Herod’s dungeon while Jesus was launching His ministry around the Sea of Galilee.

In the discomfort of his prison cell, John was growing impatient. What was he expecting? Luke tells us what John preached to his followers:

 “The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”

‘His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.”

John envisioned Jesus the righteous judge on the great “Day of the Lord” in the end times (see Revelation 20). John envisioned what everyone else had envisioned the Messiah doing: Wiping out all the bad guys (including Rome and the Herods), making sure they got their just desserts, and setting up a kingdom on earth from which He would rule the world. Sitting in the darkness of Herod’s dungeon, John couldn’t wait for Jesus to storm Herod’s fortress, free him from his chains, and punish Herod for all the pain and suffering he’d inflicted on His cuz. Then John would be right there by Jesus side as He reigned over all the earth.

While Jesus Himself proclaimed that Judgement Day will eventually come, He first had to fulfill His purpose as the suffering servant and the sacrificial lamb prophesied by Isaiah and others. Yet, this was hidden even from John. So, when John grows impatient, the shackles chafing his wrists and ankles, he begins to doubt. Jesus is disappointing him. This is not the Messiah John told his followers to expect. So, he sends his disciples to ask Jesus, “Hey cuz! Dude? What gives? Get me outta here!”

In His reply, Jesus alludes to the prophet Isaiah whom Jesus quoted in His first public sermon at his hometown synagogue in Luke 4:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free…”

But in His allusion to John’s disciples Jesus mentions proclaiming the good news to the poor and giving sight to the blind. He even adds that “the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised.” Jesus, however, omits from His report proclaiming “freedom for the prisoners” and “setting the oppressed free.”

Ouch. What a great and deliberate omission.

Jesus’ earthly mission on this go round will not look like John wants it to look. There’s a freedom that must first be proclaimed that has nothing to do with the physical shackles of a temporal world, but rather the spiritual chains of sin and their eternal realities and consequences.

“Sorry, cuz. I’m afraid that you must suffer as I must suffer. Believe me, your chains are temporary. Your reward is eternal. You can’t see it now, but you will. You’re almost to the finish line. Don’t stumble now, bruh.”

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about the spiritual posture that Jesus is asking of John. It is a kneeling, open, and surrendered posture. It is the same that He has demanded of His disciples and anyone else who would follow, including me. Anyone who wants to follow must deny themselves, their expectations, their desires, and their demands. They must be willing to sacrifice and to suffer. The path to Life lies through death. There are no shortcuts, workarounds, or easy detours.

“Not my will, but Yours be done.”

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
Chapter-a-Day

Jesus & Customer Research

Leave a comment

Jesus & Customer Research (CaD Lk 17) – Wayfarer

“So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”
Luke 17:10 (NIV)

In my daily vocation, I have spent my career in the research and assessment of customer service and satisfaction. It’s been a fascinating journey in many ways. In particular, I love that there are so many spiritual parallels.

For example, our research team often tests different dimensions of customer service to discover their impact on customers’ overall satisfaction. Some dimensions of service are revealed to be penalty variables while other dimensions of service are reward variables.

A penalty variable is something that won’t increase customer satisfaction if it’s demonstrated, but it will definitely diminish customer satisfaction if it’s not. For example, if a customer has a problem and calls Customer Service, the simple act of resolving the problem is typically a penalty variable. It’s very much like when our daughters were young and had household chores they were expected to do, such as cleaning their rooms. If I saw that the room was clean, I didn’t seek them out to embrace them, celebrate the completed task, and shower them with praise. Why? Because it’s a routine household task I simply expected to be accomplished. If, however, they didn’t clean their room I definitely sought them out to complain and threaten them with penalties or punishment if they didn’t meet the expectation.

A reward variable, on the other hand, is a dimension of service that increases satisfaction the more often and more consistently it is demonstrated. Soft skills such as empathy, courtesy, and friendliness are typically reward variables. Let’s go back to the example of our daughters doing their chores. As our daughter is cleaning her room and doing her chores, she steps into my home office to empty the trash. She sees my phone on the desk and stops to write “I Love Dad” on a sticky note and takes a selfie with it for me to find when I open my phone later that day. It’s unexpected. It’s considerate. It makes my day and fills my love tank and she is rewarded with my appreciation for her.

In today’s chapter, both penalty variables and reward variables are pointed out by Jesus.

The chapter begins with Jesus teaching His followers. He speaks of the attitude He expects His followers to have as they dutifully obey His teaching. Jesus uses the metaphor of a household employee who prepares his employer’s meal and waits until after the employer has eaten and things are picked up to take his own dinner break. In short, Jesus expects me to approach my acts of service as penalty variables. I don’t do them for praise or reward. I do them out of gratitude and a servant’s heart.

The chapter continues with Jesus telling ten lepers to go to show themselves to the priests. Because skin diseases were a cause for quarantine, a person healed of the disease had to show themselves to the priest to be declared “clean” so they could return to society. As the lepers are making their way to the priests, they realize that they have all been healed of their disease. Only one of the ten turned and returned to Jesus to thank Him. Jesus was impressed with the gratitude that he alone showed.

In the quiet this morning, I’m reminded of another of Jesus’ core teachings: “Whoever wants to be first must be last and the servant of all.” Along the journey, I’ve learned that this requirement is not only of my deeds but most importantly in the attitude of my heart.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

My Choice

1 Comment

My Choice (CaD Php 2) – Wayfarer

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.
Philippians 2:14-16 (NIV)

It’s interesting the words you retain from childhood. I have a very clear memory of sitting at the counter in our family’s kitchen. I was talking to my mother as she prepared a meal. I don’t even remember the context of the conversation, but I remember my mother saying with some exasperation, “Tommy, you’re such a pessimist!”

I remember it because I had to figure out what a pessimist was. I also remember it because it is the only memory I have of my mother being so forthrightly critical of me.

And, she was right.

Whenever my pessimism comes up in conversation, the most common response is surprise. People don’t see my pessimism, and that makes me happy because it’s something I have worked hard to address. And, to be honest, my faith has had a lot to do with that. If I really believe what I say I believe, and I do, then I have every reason to be optimistic no matter my circumstances.

Attitude is a choice.

It was Paul himself who first shared about Jesus and His message in the Roman city of Philippi. The local gathering of Jesus’ followers were Paul’s dear friends and his spiritual children. He’d lived among them, taught them, and I can feel his concern for them in his letter. It has a very loving, paternal feel to it.

Paul wrote to his friends during a period of Roman persecution against Jesus’ followers. Paul writes while being under house arrest. His letter was prompted by his friends in Philippi who’d sent a monetary gift to help with his financial needs while incarcerated in Rome. And, Philippi was a very Roman city. Many Roman military men retired there with their families. The threat of persecution was very real for the believers there. I find it interesting that Paul focuses on their attitudes.

Attitude is a choice.

It is a dark time, and Paul’s stated desire is for the Philippian believers to “shine like stars” among their Roman neighbors in a “warped” and “crooked” culture. What do they need to do to “shine?”

Don’t grumble. Don’t complain. Don’t argue. Don’t be a pessimist.

Instead, be humble. Be loving. Be considerate. Be content. Be glad.

Attitude is a choice.

I still struggle with my pessimism. You can ask Wendy who sees it more than anyone else. That said, I don’t have to be a slave to it. Jesus said that I’m to be light in a dark world. Brooding in pessimism and complaining about every person who annoys me and every circumstance that irritates me is a great way to snuff out my light.

I don’t know what this day holds, but I choose to be optimistic.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Leadership Difference

1 Comment

The Leadership Difference (CaD 2 Ki 9) – Wayfarer

Jehu said [to his fellow officers], “Here is what he told me: ‘This is what the Lord says: I anoint you king over Israel.’”

They quickly took their cloaks and spread them under him on the bare steps. Then they blew the trumpet and shouted, “Jehu is king!”
2 Kings 9:12b-13 (NIV)

“Decades from now, mystified scientists will gather to study the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings, to try to figure out what they were all about—if they existed to compete in football, or merely to psychologically torment a population of loyal, long-suffering fans.”
-Jason Gay, Wall Street Journal

Jason Gay wrote these words earlier this week after Wendy and I joined the Vikings Nation in suffering another disappointing playoff loss. It was, however, one of the most interesting and entertaining seasons in history. If you’d suggested to experts and oddsmakers that the Vikings would go 13-4 this season, they’d have laughed in your face. Add to that going 11-0 in games decided by one score or less (I have no fingernails left), including the biggest comeback in NFL history (they were down 33-0 at halftime and won).

What’s even more fascinating about this year’s Vikings team is the larger story. Last year the owners fired the coach and general manager after another disappointing year in which the team failed to meet expectations. After the firings, the proceeded a flood of comments from players regarding how terrible the atmosphere had been in the locker room, how awful the leadership team had been, and how frustrating it was to play under them.

The owners then hired two very capable young men with integrity to take the helm of leadership.

I heard one anecdote regarding a former assistant coach now working for another team. When someone mentioned that the attitude of the Vikings going into this season was really positive, he replied “Of course it is. Satan left the building.”

Today’s chapter would make a fascinating and thrilling movie if it were done right. It’s all about leadership change in dramatic fashion. The prophets anoint an army officer as King of Israel and place on him the responsibility to rid Israel of the evil House of Ahab and Jezebel.

What stood out to me was how quickly everyone joined in the rebellion. The newly anointed Jehu seemed to consider his anointing as a joke until his soldiers and fellow officers quickly pledged their allegiance to them. They were desperate for change.

When Jehu confronts Jezebel in her upper story window in Jezreel, he simply suggests to the eunuchs in her service that they throw her out the window. They are eager and happy to oblige.

A wise man once said that the only thing to which evil responds is an overpowering force. It’s all that evil understands. Evil rules and holds sway through power, fear, intimidation, violence, and oppression.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve delivered a couple of messages in which I explored how different Jesus’ example and plans were for changing the world. Instead of top-down power, He exemplified and called his followers to live out a bottom-up, humble, love-powered service towards others that would transform other individuals from the inside out. Those individuals would then pay it forward by doing the same thing.

In the quiet this morning, I’m contemplating the difference that leadership makes on a football team, in a business, in a church, in a community, and in a family. When leadership is a top-down, authoritarian power play, those in the system become anxious for a change in leadership. When leadership is a humble, love-motivated mindset of serving those within the system, there is no limit on how much that system can flourish and accomplish.

It might even go 13-4, 11-1 in close games, and stage the greatest comeback in NFL history.

I can’t wait to see what happens next year.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Change

1 Comment

Change (CaD 1 Sam 7) – Wayfarer

Samuel continued as Israel’s leader all the days of his life.
1 Samuel 7:15 (NIV)

What is the most acute example of change that you have experienced along your earthly journey? That’s the question that came to mind as I read this morning’s chapter.

I thought of the time the place where I worked went through a transition of leadership that was tremendously difficult for everyone involved. It personally rattled me enough that I started looking for another job.

Then there was the experience of moving to a small, rural town (just over 300 people) after growing up in the city of Des Moines and going to college in the Chicago area. There were so many things that I had to learn about the culture and realities of small-town life. It was a completely different paradigm.

Going through a divorce brought both radical changes and unique challenges in virtually every area of life.

The changes I have experienced in daily life because of rapidly advancing technology and the internet are so great that it’s hard to believe.

Then there are the changes to our world because of a pandemic and a global shutdown that we’re still grappling with, and we will continue to realize its effects for some time.

There are days when I feel as if the world has turned upside-down in my lifetime.

Change is a challenge. I’ve observed it bring out the best and worst in people. I’ve had to learn how it affects me. I’ve grown to better understand how I handle it both positively and negatively. I’ve had to learn discernment between that which is ever-changing and those things which never change. I have had to gain wisdom to know the difference.

The book of 1 Samuel is about a massive change in the history of the Hebrews. For 300-400 years the Hebrews have lived and survived in a loosely structured tribal system with occasional national leaders, called Judges, who typically rose to power in times of war or crisis and who were recognized for their leadership through the rest of their lifetime.

But the times were changing.

It was clear to the Hebrew tribes that other city-states with the centralized power of a monarchy, a king, were able to both secure their kingdoms and increase their power by conquest. The tribal system was becoming untenable. They needed to change.

Samuel is the lynchpin of this change. He was the last of the Judges. He will consecrate the nation of Israel’s first two kings and continue to be the nation’s spiritual leader in the background. He also becomes the first of the prophets who will become key figures on both the spiritual and political landscapes of the kingdom for the next 600 years. Samuel is the agent of change.

In today’s chapter, the author of 1 Samuel explains how Samuel rose to become the last Judge, leading the Hebrews in holding back the advancing Philistines and providing strong national leadership for the rest of his life. The author is setting the reader up for this massive change that is about to take place.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself coming back to the question of change in my own life and times. Having just completed this chapter-a-day journey through the book of Revelations, it’s clear to me that things will continue to change until the Great Story’s conclusion. As a follower of Jesus, I should expect it. And, as a follower of Jesus, I believe that I am called by Jesus to press on in this earthly journey with the dogged determination to live each day with the three things that will remain throughout this Great Story and into the next: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these being love.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Strength in Praise

Leave a comment

Strength in Praise (CaD Ps 148) – Wayfarer

And he has raised up for his people a horn,
    the praise of all his faithful servants…
Psalm 148: 14 (NIV)

There is a story in the book of Acts in which Paul and Silas were imprisoned the dungeon of a town called Philippi. About midnight the two of them were singing praises and hymns as they prayed. Suddenly an earthquake struck, loosening their chains and breaking open the prison doors. Talk about dramatic. Sometimes our praise has a miraculous, dramatic effect.

In his book, The Philippian Fragment, Calvin Miller tells the fictional story of a first-century pastor in the same town of Philippi who happened be imprisoned in the same cell along with one of his elders. The pastor sees, scratched on the dungeon wall, the names “Paul and Silas.”

Remembering how Paul and Silas sang at midnight as God sent an earthquake to open the doors of the jail, we took courage. “Do it again, God!” cried Coriolanus near midnight. He began to sing a hymn in monotone, and I joined in. We praised God at full volume with some of the great songs of the faith. Ever and anon we stopped to see if we could hear even the faintest rumblings of a quake. By three in the morning we still had not raised a tremor and decided to give it up. There seemed so little to rejoice about.

Suddenly a jailor who had heard us singing sprang into the cell.

“Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” he asked.

We told him in great joy.

“I can’t do that,” he said. “It’s too risky.”

As he left, he yelled over his shoulder, “Would you cut out the noise. It’s three in the morning.”

Still, I felt better for simply having praised Him. Praise clears the heart and dusts the mind of selfishness. It lifts the spirit and transforms the prison to an altar where we may behold the buoyant love of Christ.

It is not jailors who make convicts. It is the self-pitying mind that makes a man a captive.Praise frees us. The jail cannot contain the heart that turns itself to attend the excellency of Christ. “Gloria in excelsis!” deals with stone walls and iron bars in its own way. When morning finally came, I was elated. I found a flint rock in the cell and scratched our own names above the etching of Paul and Silas: “Eusebius and Coriolanus—We sang at midnight and felt much better the next morning.”

Today’s chapter, Psalm 148, is at the center of the final five songs of praise in the anthology of ancient Hebrew song lyrics known as the Psalms. As we’ve discovered on this chapter-a-day journey, ancient Hebrew songs often put the central theme of the song smack-dab in the middle. The central theme was in the center holding the core. When the editors of the compilation put the last five songs of praise together, they placed today’s song smack-dab in the middle. It holds the core of the final theme of praise.

Praise is a central theme throughout the Great Story. When rebuked by the religious leaders for His followers shouting His praise, Jesus replied that even if they were silent the rocks would “cry out.” Today’s psalm speaks of all creation praising God, and in fact all matter does continually resonate at frequencies we can’t hear. The universe itself perpetually resonates at 432hz. When John was given a vision of heaven’s Throne Room in his Revelation, he describes it as a scene of endless praise.

Along my life journey, I have learned that praise sincerely offered whether in word, song, or thought is a spiritual activator. To the ancients, a “horn” was a metaphor of strength, and the lyricist of today’s song made clear that there is strength in praise. When I choose to offer up heart-felt praise from the prison of my own circumstances, there is a shift that occurs. It might be a miraculous shift in the tectonic plates of life as Paul and Silas experienced. It might be simply a shift in my faith and spirit as Eusebius and Coriolanus experienced. I’ve learned not to worry about the results and to simply let my praise hold the core in the moment. Whenever I sing praises in the darkness, I always end up feeling “much better in the morning.”

Chapter-a-Day

Envy: The Pretty Sin

1 Comment

Envy: The Pretty Sin (CaD Ps 73) – Wayfarer

When I tried to understand all this,
    it troubled me deeply
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
    then I understood their final destiny.
Psalm 73:16-17 (NIV)

Wendy and I were having a conversation early in our relationship and she used a metaphor that I’d never heard before. She spoke to me of “ugly” sins and “pretty” sins. It gave language to something I’ve always inherently understood but never really knew how to simply express.

Ugly sins are those types of moral failures that, when brought to light, are typically accompanied by public shame and humiliation. Ugly sins generate scarlet letter status within a community. We not may make modern day Hesters stitch the letter on their clothing anymore, but it doesn’t mean others haven’t stitched it there with their hearts and minds. Ugly sins generate gossip, slander, and hushed whispers behind the sinner’s back long after the secretly committed sin was made public and created sensational community headlines.

Pretty sins, in contrast, are shortcomings we largely ignore because we all do it and so there is an unspoken social and spiritual covenant we have with one another to turn a blind eye. No need to notice the speck of it we might perceive in the eye of another so that no one will point out the log of it in my own. Pretty sins are typically overlooked, dismissed if noticed on occasion, and sometimes we even find ways to make them virtuous.

Envy is one such pretty sin, and it’s at the heart of the song lyrics of today’s chapter, Psalm 73.

With Psalm 73, we start Book III of the Psalms. What’s cool is that the editors who compiled the Psalms put three symmetrical groupings together: six songs, five songs, six songs, with the middle song as the “center” of Book III. It’s the same way an individual Hebrew song would be structured. So they made Book III one giant psalm with individual songs as the “verses” of the structure. Psalms within psalms.

Psalm 73 is an instructional psalm in which Asaph confesses to the sin of envy. He looks at the lives of the wickedly rich and famous living in their Beverly Hills mansions, driving their Maserati, and jetting off to their summer homes on Martha’s Vineyard or their yacht in the Caribbean. Life is so easy for them. They don’t know what it means to struggle. On top of that, they are so arrogant looking down their noses on the rest of us.

I’m reminded of a conversation I had a week or two ago with a friend of mine who is a retired CEO. He lives near an elite golf club that caters to the jet-set and took a part-time job driving club members from their private jets to the luxurious private golf club. He told me how amazing it was to drive these billionaires around and routinely get treated like crap and stiffed for a tip. That’s the kind of people Asaph is singing about. Like Asaph, I confess that I’m envious to know what that kind of life must be like, even as I feel contempt for them.

As Asaph’s song continues, he goes into God’s Temple and it’s as if the Spirit of God gives him an attitude adjustment. He stops looking at the objects of his contemptuous envy with earthly eyes, and he opens the eyes of his heart to view them with an eternal, spiritual perspective.

Jesus taught that we who follow Him should maintain a similar spiritual perspective. On multiple occasions, he told parables warning about spending our lives “gaining the whole world” while we “lose our souls.”

Asaph ends his song of instruction understanding that it’s “good to be near God.” Along my journey I’ve discovered that contemptuous envy of others leads to destructive ends on many different levels. When I stick close to God, as Asaph instructs, it’s easier for me to keep both the eyes of my body and the eyes of my heart focused on things of eternal value. I can see my contemptuous envy for what it is, and can better perceive the spiritual price paid to gain this world and the things of this world.

In the quiet this morning I am looking forward to a simple feast with a few family members tomorrow. I’m looking forward to being home surrounded with love, joy, peace, and gratitude.

Wherever this finds you, I wish you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m taking the next few days off. See you back on this chapter-a-day journey next week.

Cheers!

Chapter-a-Day

People-Eaters

1 Comment

People-Eaters (CaD Ps 14) – Wayfarer

Have they no knowledge, all the evildoers
    who eat up my people as they eat bread,
    and do not call upon the Lord?
Psalm 14:4 (NRSVCE)

I think David was an Enneagram Four. There are so many of his lyrics that scream it. Especially the “all or nothing” emotions with which he pens his feelings…

there is no one who does good,
    no, not one.

Today’s psalm is such an angst-filled, glass-half-empty rant. And yet, there’s underlying wisdom in David’s observations of those he refers to as the fools who shamelessly act out of their godless world-view. David describes them as one who “eat up my people as they eat bread.” I couldn’t help but think about the contrast between those whom David describes and the way Jesus taught His followers to treat others: “Love others as you love yourself.”

Are people objects to be consumed in the indulgence of ego’s appetite? Am I a spiritual cannibal, feasting on the souls of others so I feel better about myself? I have been amazed in recent months to observe the vitriol, violence, and disrespect with which I’ve witnessed human beings treating one another. It’s been hard to watch the dismissiveness and lack of decency with which people treat others.

In the quiet this morning I’m bringing it back to myself. I can get all angsty and gloomy with David, but along my journey I’ve learned that at the end of the day what really matters is what I do those things I can control: my words, my actions, and my relationship with others.

Am I a people-eater or a people-feeder? Or, do I remain neutral to the point of contributing nothing to the betterment of anyone or anything? I personally find that it is so easy in the faceless, distant communication medium of social-media to dehumanize those with whom I disagree. It’s so easy for me to get sucked into being dismissive, diminishing, and disrespectful to the “other” writing those words that appear magically in my social-media feed. I don’t see the person. They aren’t flesh-and-blood to me. I don’t have to look them in the eye and have a real conversation with them. It’s so easy to dehumanize and disrespect what ceaselessly appears to me as nothing more than pixels on my screen that anger me and push my emotional buttons.

For me, being a follower of Jesus means being a people-feeder. I’m contributing to others, not diminishing them. I purposefully attach worth to others, even my enemies, rather than dismissing them as worth-less of my kindness, respect, and generosity. As I mulled these things over, I found myself led to these words of Jesus from Matthew 5:

“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

That’s what I’m striving to be. Not a people-eater, but a people-feeder.

Have a great weekend, my friend!

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Poison on the Team

2 Comments

As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
    so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.
Proverbs 26:21 (NIV)

There is a client of mine who had a team that had been struggling for some time. While other teams around them were making great strides in their service performance, this one particular team languished in mediocrity. My quarterly training sessions with this team were sometimes painful. Silence. Arms crossed. No eye contact. No participation.

There was one member of this team who was, by far, the worst performer of the group. His performance on the phone calls we regularly assessed were so bad, that one almost had to willfully try to be that consistently awful to their customers. Over several years, the management team tried just about everything to motivate a change in this person. They tried offering cash bonuses for better performance, they provided remedial coaching (I had the joy of conducting many of the coaching sessions…ugh, also painful), they wrote him up on multiple Performance Improvement Plans with HR, and they made threats to fire him. Nothing worked. The longer this went on, I believe the more convinced he was that he didn’t really have to change and the more stubborn he became.

Coincidentally, I was asked at one point to mentor this team’s new supervisor. The newbie had been a member of the team for a long time and was promoted to his first managerial position. I watched him go through all of the same efforts as his predecessor trying to motivate behavior change in the team’s entrenched curmudgeon.

“What am I going to do with him?” the supervisor eventually asked me directly.

“Fire him,” I responded just as directly.

The supervisor seemed shocked by response. I explained.

“Look,” I said, “Your management team has wasted their efforts for years trying to get this person to perform. There is a well-documented track record of a bad attitude, poor performance, and an unwillingness to do any more than the very least that is required to avoid getting fired. His attitude has poisoned the entire team and your team will never be healthy until you get rid of the problem at the source.“

I had made this same suggestion multiple times to the supervisor’s predecessor and managers, but they could never take the final step of terminating his employment. I actually expected nothing different from the new supervisor, because he was new and firing a team member went against this client’s corporate culture.

I was, therefore, surprised to learn that my managerial protégé took my advice and fired the team member a short time later. Wouldn’t you know it? That year the team that had been mired in mediocrity reached their service quality performance goal for the very first time. I handed out more year-end performance awards to members of that team than ever. The team that had been so painful to train for so many years was laughing, cheering, clapping, and celebrating.

In today’s chapter, Solomon wisely says that a quarrelsome and contentious person is like adding wood to a fire. It spreads. My client’s entire team was stuck in their contentious mediocrity and poor performance because of one team member’s poisonous attitude. I wish I could say that this is the only example I’ve seen in my years of helping my clients improve the quality of their customer service, but it’s not. It’s actually fairly common. What isn’t common is a client’s willingness to do the right thing for everyone (especially their customers) and decisively extract the poison from the system whether it is firing the person or moving them to a different job with a different team that might be a better fit.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about other poisonous team members I’ve encountered in my vocational journey and the reticence, even in my own company, of confronting it. What I’ve observed over time is that these individuals really don’t want to be in their positions. Sometimes getting rid of a poisonous team member actually frees that person to find something better for themselves. I have followed the careers of a few fired team members on social media and it appears that they are much happier after finding a job that better suits their talents, desires, and personalities. And, some appear to be tragically angry and contentious people in any role no matter where they work.

At least a company can fire such a person. When the contentious and quarrelsome individual is part of a family system, it’s a far more difficult situation. Solomon had another proverb for such tragic circumstances:

To have a fool for a child brings grief;
    there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool.