Tag Archives: Grumbling

The Shift

July 28, 2025 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat!“
Numbers 11:4 (NIV)

There is a classic family video of when the girls were toddlers. One of their favorite toys were Polly Pockets, tiny plastic dolls that came with their own little pocket-sized doll houses. The girls want to take their Polly Pockets to bed with them, and I wouldn’t let them because they were a choking hazard. Oh, my goodness. Complete and utter emotional breakdown. So much so, that I just had to grab the video camera and video tape the moment. It is etched in my memory and ever reminds me of life’s meltdown moments.

Along my life journey, I’ve come to observe that adults have similar emotional meltdowns as toddlers, we’re just more sophisticated at it. In fact, as I meditate on it I can think of at least two full-blown adult emotional meltdowns I’ve witnessed in the past two week. One was a meltdown into rage and anger, the other into fear, anxiety, and despair.

Today’s chapter marks a major shift in the book of Numbers and establishes a recurring theme through the rest of the book. To this point, the text has continually presented the Hebrew tribes as compliant and obedient to whatever God asked of them through Moses. Today’s chapter starts with the people complaining generally about their hardships, as if it’s overwhelming public sentiment in the camp. Then it’s rabble, or a smaller group of disgruntled people with a specific complaint about God not providing an expansive enough menu. The incessant whining sends Moses, like the parent of obstinate toddlers, into his own full “I can’t do this anymore” meltdown of complaints to the Almighty.

As I think back to being both a parent and a leader in business, community, and church, all I can say is, “Yep. Been there. Done that.”

I have also noticed along my life journey that we love to pick and choose certain verses to demand literal obedience, typically those that have to do with morality like not getting drunk on wine, or ritual like keeping the Sabbath holy. But then there are verses like “greet one another with a holy kiss” that we conveniently ignore.

One of the verses that I don’t think I’ve ever heard addressed in a sermon on Sunday is from Paul’s letter to the Philippians that we just trekked through on this chapter-a-day journey a few weeks ago. Paul writes:

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing…”
Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

In the quiet this morning, it occurs to me that it’s very easy for me to think of examples both current and past in which I’ve had to endure the whining, complaining, grumbling, and arguing of others. If there’s anyone I identify with in the chapter this morning, it’s Moses. That said, I recognize that it’s easy for me to point the finger at others and ignore the three fingers pointing back at me.

Have I grumbled about anything or anyone in recent days?
Yes.
Have I been discontent with current circumstances or lot in life?
Yes.
Have I said things or acted out of either my complaints or discontent in ways that weren’t productive or conducive to building others up?
Yep.

Mea culpa.

As I head into this, another work week, today’s chapter is a good reminder about attitude, gratitude, and contentment. The Hebrews shifted from contentment and obedience to grumbling and complaining, and my observation is that this is a really easy shift for me to mindlessly make in my own heart, head, emotions, words, and behavior. The shift back to contentment and obedience requires discipline, contentment, and trust.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing…”

Lord, help me not ignore that one, and learn to trust You more.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Chapter-a-Day

My Choice

October 4, 2023 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.
Philippians 2:14-1 6 (NIV)

It’s interesting the words you retain from childhood. I have a very clear memory of sitting at the counter in our family’s kitchen. I was talking to my mother as she prepared a meal. I don’t even remember the context of the conversation, but I remember my mother saying with some exasperation, “Tommy, you’re such a pessimist!”

I remember it because I had to figure out what a pessimist was. I also remember it because it is the only memory I have of my mother being so forthrightly critical of me.

And, she was right.

Whenever my pessimism comes up in conversation, the most common response is surprise. People don’t see my pessimism, and that makes me happy because it’s something I have worked hard to address. And, to be honest, my faith has had a lot to do with that. If I really believe what I say I believe, and I do, then I have every reason to be optimistic no matter my circumstances.

Attitude is a choice.

It was Paul himself who first shared about Jesus and His message in the Roman city of Philippi. The local gathering of Jesus’ followers were Paul’s dear friends and his spiritual children. He’d lived among them, taught them, and I can feel his concern for them in his letter. It has a very loving, paternal feel to it.

Paul wrote to his friends during a period of Roman persecution against Jesus’ followers. Paul writes while being under house arrest. His letter was prompted by his friends in Philippi who’d sent a monetary gift to help with his financial needs while incarcerated in Rome. And, Philippi was a very Roman city. Many Roman military men retired there with their families. The threat of persecution was very real for the believers there. I find it interesting that Paul focuses on their attitudes.

Attitude is a choice.

It is a dark time, and Paul’s stated desire is for the Philippian believers to “shine like stars” among their Roman neighbors in a “warped” and “crooked” culture. What do they need to do to “shine?”

Don’t grumble. Don’t complain. Don’t argue. Don’t be a pessimist.

Instead, be humble. Be loving. Be considerate. Be content. Be glad.

Attitude is a choice.

I still struggle with my pessimism. You can ask Wendy who sees it more than anyone else. That said, I don’t have to be a slave to it. Jesus said that I’m to be light in a dark world. Brooding in pessimism and complaining about every person who annoys me and every circumstance that irritates me is a great way to snuff out my light.

I don’t know what this day holds, but I choose to be optimistic.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

A Good Follower

November 6, 2017 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

The next day Moses entered the tent and saw that Aaron’s staff, which represented the tribe of Levi, had not only sprouted but had budded, blossomed and produced almonds.
Numbers 17:8 (NIV)

Years ago I was part of a team that had a leadership issue. Our appointed leader was a lightning rod who attracted a host of unnecessary concerns and distractions. Along with many other members, I could tell our team wasn’t functioning well. Our leader was an appointee, so there was no recourse other than to issue a complaint with the organizational authorities, but it appeared they fell on deaf ears.

As a member of the team, I came to a personal crossroads. I knew that becoming a part of the unceasing undercurrent of grumbling, complaining, and back-biting as not going to be profitable for myself or the team as a whole. Like it or not, this was our appointed leader. I could choose out and leave the team, or I could participate to the best of my ability, keep my mouth shut, and to support the team by doing my best not to be an active part of the dissension.

Grumbling. Whispers. Complaints.

If you’ve participated in any kind of human group, you likely have an example that you, yourself, have experienced. There is a spirit of unrest within the group; An undercurrent of disunity against the leadership or the status quo. In our chapter-a-day journey through the book of Numbers it’s been a theme now among the Hebrew tribes since they left Egypt. God has appointed a system and there is grumbling about the system.

Members of 11 tribes are grumbling that Aaron and the Levites are the only ones who can serve in the Tabernacle. The Levites are grumbling that they can’t own property like all the other tribes. Certain Levites are grumbling that Moses, Aaron, and Miriam being the only appointed prophets. There’s already been a rebellion. The unrest is growing, and threatening to spill over into division.

In today’s chapter, God prompts Moses to gather a staff from the leader of each of the tribes. They place the walking sticks in the holy place of the traveling temple tent. The next day Aaron’s staff (representing the Levite tribe) had sprouted, bloomed flowers, and produced almonds. God was giving his unquestioned support to his appointed priest and system, and attempting to silence the grumbling.

Last week I found my meditation focused on the qualities of leadership. This morning, at the beginning of a new week, I find myself thinking about the role of being a good follower and member of the team, group, or organization. In a representative system where leaders are elected, I have the opportunity of making a change by supporting an opposition candidate to the incumbent and voting in a new leader at the next regular election. In an organization with appointed leadership I have far more limited options.

Along life’ s journey I’ve come to understand the wisdom of the Teacher of Ecclesiastes: “There is a time to speak, and a time to be silent.” Once complaints are registered with authority and that authority chooses to support the incumbent leader, then I am typically left with three options. I can leave the organization (if that’s even an option). I can continue to participate in grumbling, complaining and stirring up dissension. I can keep my mouth shut and press on, doing the best I can in the circumstances.

My experience is that leaders come and go in all organizations. Poor leaders will typically implode or move on. To quote REO Speedwagon, sometimes there’s wisdom in simply “riding the storm out.”

If I want what is best for the team or organization as a whole, then being a good follower often means actively choosing not to participate in destructive grumbling despite the self-centric satisfaction derived from doing so.

Chapter-a-Day

Playing the Role I’m Given

September 17, 2015 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

At that time, too, I [Moses] entreated the Lord, saying: “O Lord God, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your might; what god in heaven or on earth can perform deeds and mighty acts like yours! Let me cross over to see the good land beyond the Jordan, that good hill country and the Lebanon.” But the Lord was angry with me on your account and would not heed me. The Lord said to me, “Enough from you! Never speak to me of this matter again! Go up to the top of Pisgah and look around you to the west, to the north, to the south, and to the east. Look well, for you shall not cross over this Jordan. But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, because it is he who shall cross over at the head of this people and who shall secure their possession of the land that you will see.” Deuteronomy 3:23-28 (NRSV)

Casting a show is one of the more difficult things about being a director. You can have throngs of people audition but only so many parts to go around. It’s crucial to make sure you have the right people in the right roles and there are so many things to consider about an actor when deciding which role you want her/him to play including ability, experience, physicality, chemistry with others, and the ease of working with her/him.

Without fail, people will be disappointed with the roles in which they are cast. It’s a universal. Even as I write these words I can quickly name specific roles from long ago productions in which I still believe I should have been cast. Everyone who is a part of theatre for any length of time experiences this. There’s something at the core of our fallen nature given to this seed of both envy and pride. That person thinks he/she should have been cast in that role. Feathers get ruffled. Feelings get hurt. Some refuse to play the role in which they were cast. Others grudgingly accept the role they were given, but infect the rehearsal process with their grumbling and disgruntled attitude.

Today, I’m finding parallels between God’s direction of the events in Deuteronomy and the experience of directing and leading a production. In today’s chapter we find Moses, who was the lead character in the wildly successful Exodus from Egypt, wanting a lead role in the sequel production, Conquest of Canaan. He entreats God, the great Director, with a little flattery and then begs for the part. The Director seems a bit frustrated with the incessant grumbling and insists that the lead role in Conquest belongs to the actor who was cast (Joshua) and there will be no further discussion of the matter.

One of the most difficult yet rewarding lessons I’ve learned along life’s journey is that of choosing contentment in the roles that I am given. This is true whether we’re talking about a bit role on stage or the role given me by God in the on-going production of Life. When I stop whining about not having the role I desire and pour myself into the role that I have been given, then it’s a win-win-win for myself, the Director, and everyone else in the production.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 20

July 26, 2011 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

There was no water there for the community, so they ganged up on Moses and Aaron. Numbers 20:2 (MSG)

I am so spoiled with the basic necessities of life. Water is a staple. Water is everywhere. I flush without thinking about the luxury of having running sewers. I wash my face, shower myself, and wash my dishes without even thinking about it. I can even water my lawn and have the luxury of spurning the water in the tap to drink a bottle of “better” water.

For ten days in 1993, the Des Moines area was without water as floods overtook the Water Works. I remember living in an apartment with two young children. Ten days without showering. Ten days without flushing. Ten days of filling jugs at water stations and hauling them back home to cook and bathe. Ten days is nothing. Ten Days is a blip on the time line. But, we still talk about it like we were martyrs. How quickly people grumble when you take away a basic necessity of life. Ask Moses and Aaron. They know.

Around the world, millions of people live without access to clean water every day. In fact, in Africa alone more people than the entire population of the U.S. are without this basic necessity. For the last several years, Wendy and I have supported Blood:Water Mission, whose goal is to help communities in Africa dig wells so that they can simply have clean water.

Today, when I shower, wash, and drink, I’m going to think of the people of Israel who grumbled as they ran out of water wandering in the wilderness of northeast Africa. I’m going to think of the millions of people in that continent and around the world who can still grumble these many thousands of years later.