Tag Archives: Anniversary

Stages of the Journey

December 6, 2017 Tom Vander Well 4 Comments

“Here are the stages in the journey of the Israelites when they came out of Egypt by divisions under the leadership of Moses and Aaron.At the Lord’s command Moses recorded the stages in their journey. This is their journey by stages….”
Numbers 33:1-2 (NIV)

Yesterday our daughter Taylor was featured in a blog post by Ivory House photography. It was an artistic and poignant photo essay of our very pregnant daughter, and a tribute to all of the incredible qualities that emanate from her empowerment as a woman. Last night I read the essay and took time to appreciate how Whitney captured the beauty of Taylor and her pregnancy. I was struck at the new stage of life into which Taylor is ushering us as she gives birth to this little man we are so anxious to meet.

I woke up in the wee hours this morning. My heart was stirring. My brain wouldn’t shut down. I got up and started journaling. What came out was a stream of thoughts, fears, and hopes as I sense Wendy and me on the precipice of a new stage of our life journey. Unexpectedly becoming grandparents at the end of this year is a significant piece of it, but just one piece. This has been a year in which certain callings and responsibilities have been relinquished. There are new things coming for us at work that were unforeseen a year ago. We feel God pressing us forward in other areas of life. Again, things we didn’t see coming a short time ago.

This New Years Eve will be our 12th Anniversary. Twelve years. In my unending journey through God’s Message I’ve come to learn that twelve is a significant number. It’s a number of completion.

One stage coming to completion.
Another stage about to begin.

“Old things pass away. New things come.”

Some days I’m amazed at God’s synchronicity. Finishing up my journaling, I opened up today’s chapter and what do I read?

Journey, stages, and God’s command to Moses record the stages.

Every life journey has its stages. In my experience, some stages are harder than others. Some stages feel like an endless trek through Death Valley, while others are an oasis. Some stages are an uphill grind, while others are a coast. Some are obstacle courses, and some stages are mountain top experiences so full of goodness and life that I don’t want to let them go or move on from them.

Moving from one stage to another may be a relief, or a sudden terrifying drop off the cliff, or an anxious unknowing. No matter the shift, I always find the transition comes with questions, trepidation, fear, and anxiety. Even transitioning from a difficult stage to an easier stage is still a step of faith. I rarely know what a new stage truly is until I’m well into it.

Moses and the Israelite tribes had stages of their journey from slavery in Egypt to Promised Land: Victories. Trials. Blessing. Conflict. Miracles. Struggle. And, God wanted them to record it.

“Pay attention,” God says. “Record. Remember so you can look back and see in context….”

Where have we been?
Where are we right now?
Where are we going?

This morning I’m thinking back to the stages I’ve been through. Through all the ups and downs I can see God’s provision, God’s faithfulness, God’s goodness, God’s presence and leading. That’s helpful as I turn my gaze ahead and contemplate the next step.

I stand at the precipice of a new stage of life like the Israelites standing at the River Jordan. What will this new stage be?

Only one way to find out.

“Leap, and the net will appear.”

Tom's Photos, Wayfarer's Journal

New Years 2016

January 3, 2017 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

New Years is always a whirlwind and a time of celebration for Wendy and me. This year was no different, and the holidays were stretched out more than normal for us.

New Year’s Eve was our 11th wedding anniversary. Wendy and I gathered here at VW Manor with a small group of friends. Last year was a bit of a blowout as we celebrated our 10th. This year was a low-key affair. We told everyone to wear sweats or pajamas if they wanted to do so. We snacked, we chatted, we played a few rounds of Head’s Up, and we laughed. It was a laid-back way to say good-bye to a very strange 2016 and welcome 2017 with all its possibilities.

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Madison could not get home from South Carolina until late last week. So New Year’s Day was the first we got to see her since she joined us at the lake this past summer. Wendy and I drove to Ankeny for a New Year’s Day gathering of the Hall clan. Taylor and Madison drove up from Des Moines to join us. It was a chance to see Becky, Court, and Lydia one more time before they flew back to Colorado and a chance for the girls to hang out with the family.

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We returned to Pella in the afternoon and had our Christmas celebration with the four of us. It was fun to sit together in front of the fireplace ad enjoy opening gifts between the four of us. We then settled in for a relaxing evening together on the family room couch. Supper was a hodgepodge of leftovers on the counter to snack on. We watched the recorded Vikings/Bears game and then watched Cinderella together. It was really a lot of fun.

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Yesterday was the only full day we had with Maddy Kate. Wendy made a fabulous breakfast for us. The entire morning was spent eating, drinking coffee, and great conversation around the dining room table. The afternoon was an equally laid-back affair. We opted for a Sherlock binge. We watched. Taylor knitted. Madison and I worked on editing a video for a little project she wanted to do together. Wendy scoured Pinterest and we discussed house ideas. And, in true family fashion, we baptized the living room rug with two spills that necessitated moving of the couch and cleaning up.

Wendy made a wonderful evening meal of tilapia, sweet potato wedges, and rice. We then capped our evening by planning our wardrobe for family pictures we’re taking this morning, and watching the newest episode of Sherlock which premiered on New Year’s Day.

It feels like a bit of a stretched out holiday this year. With Christmas and New Year’s on Sundays, it feels like we’ve stretched two two-day holidays into two four-day holidays. Today we take family pictures, say good-bye to Madison, and then settle back into routine.

Random Thoughts, Wayfarer's Journal

Reflections on 10 Years of Blogging

March 26, 2016 Tom Vander Well 3 Comments

Today is my 10th anniversary blogging. On March 26th, 2006 I set up a free blog in three easy steps and wrote the following simple post:

It’s sunday morning and the house is getting ready for church. Why is it that the whole household can be up, ready and out the door by 8:00 Monday thru Friday, but on Sunday you can’t make it to church on time by 11:00? <sigh> One of life’s little mysteries.

That was the beginning of my journey. Ten years and 3,412 blog posts later, I’m still going. I am not, by most people in the blogosphere’s standards, the definition of success. I haven’t made a fortune. My number of subscribers remains very meager. I have about 240 subscribers through WordPress and a reach that extends to a couple thousand people through Facebook and Twitter. On a typical day my blog gets about 150-200 views.

On this 10th anniversary I’ve been looking back and reflecting on what I’ve learned in my blogging experience. Here are a few thoughts:

Know your motivation. My blog has always had a very simple motivation. I just want to write about my life journey. I want to record my thoughts and experiences on different subjects. I want to share what’s going on with family and friends. As time has gone on I realize that my blog serves as a diary and a record. It will be an accessible archive for children, grandchildren and future generations of my experiences and my heartfelt thoughts. I have come to accept that my blog will never generate tons of subscribers simply because not that many people know me or are interested in my vacation pictures.
Know your content focus. Your motivation determines your content. The vast majority of my posts over the past decade have been my chapter-a-day posts. If I was really trying to establish my blog as an inspirational of devotional blog I would center my blog on those posts and reserve my personal journal, theatre, and photography posts elsewhere. My motivation, however, is for my blog to be a repository of my personal thoughts and experiences. My chapter-a-day posts are simply a record of my thoughts in my own daily quiet time. I’m not trying to preach to anyone or market myself as an author. I’m just sharing my daily, personal thoughts after reading a chapter of the Bible. My blog is a wide-angle lens on my life and it includes all kinds of different posts. A blogging expert would tell me that my wide range limits my audience, but my motivation has never been to build a big audience. I just want to express myself.
Just write. According to a NYTimes article, 95% of blogs are abandoned. I’ve known many who have started a blog, but after a post or two they walk away from it just like the Ab Cruncher they purchased ten years ago and used twice. I would argue that most people stop blogging because they aren’t really motivated, they struggle to know what they want to say. I think many people get discouraged that the world does not beat a path to their URL. Blogging requires a certain amount of fortitude. You’re going to write a lot of crap that no one wants to read. Keep writing. Post regularly. Be content with a few followers. The first six years of my blog I averaged about 15-20 views a day. It’s only in the past few years that it’s grown ten-fold. I’ve come to accept that blogging is about the journey, not the destination.
You never know what’s going to resonate. I have written a lot of really great posts, at least I thought they were profound. Virtually no one reads them. They never “get legs.” Then, I’ll post a random thought hastily typed and with little consideration and it will start to generate all sorts of traffic. I’ve given up trying to judge or prognosticate.
The rewards are not what I thought they’d be. I will confess that I, like most aspiring bloggers, have pipe dreams of my blog becoming wildly popular. I regularly talk myself off that ledge and laugh at myself. I then remind myself of everything I’ve written in this post thus far. The rewards I’ve reaped from my blogging journey are not what I expected, but I consider them to be priceless:
- I’ve become a better writer. When I go back and read some of my chapter-a-day posts from the early years I regularly cringe. They were so short. The thoughts are undeveloped. Ugh! The contrast, however, serves to remind me that writing 3,412 posts is going to make me a better writer. I value that.
- I’ve met some really great people. From my early blogging mentor, Mike Sansone, to people like Terry, Samantha, Jonathan, Michael, and David. My blog has opened up opportunities at relationships and networking I might otherwise have never had.
- I have built an online personal reference source. What year was it that we took that trip to Cooperstown? Do you remember what year we performed Much Ado About Nothing? My blog makes it much easier to find definitive answers. Trivial, perhaps, but I value it.
- I’m leaving a legacy. Those most close to me, my family and my friends, will have a record of my life experiences and my thoughts that will live beyond me. I sometimes think of my love of family history and how much I wish I had a journal of my great-great-grandfather to learn what life was like for him, what he thought, and what he felt. Perhaps I will have a great-great grandson or granddaughter who will appreciate my little blog. Maybe I’ll have the opportunity to have a positive impact on their lives.
- I occasionally make a difference in someone’s day. Every once in a while I’ll get a message or an e-mail saying something like, “Thanks. I needed your post today.” Rarely do I get to know how or why. It’s nice to know, though. I’m grateful when people tell me, and it helps motivate me to keep going.

Thanks to those of you who follow along on this journey. Thanks to those who stop by now and then. Thanks especially to Wendy and Kevin R. who regularly discuss, respond, and encourage. Here’s to the next decade!

Wayfarer's Journal

Our 10th Anniversary! New Year’s Eve 2015

January 1, 2016 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

Our wedding on New Year's Eve 2005. — Our wedding on New Year’s Eve 2005.

Wendy and I were married on New Year’s Eve 2005 at a gala wedding on the ballroom floor of the Temple for Performing Arts in Des Moines. New Year’s Eve will forever be a special evening for the two of us. This year we celebrated our 10th Anniversary at home surrounded by wonderful friends, many of whom were there with us on that memorable evening a decade ago.

Our anniversary celebration actually started earlier in the week on Tuesday. We’d spent the day in Des Moines hitting the after Christmas sales and found a lot of good stuff to make our home even more festive next year. By late afternoon we were worn out from shopping and ready for an evening out. We met Kev and Beck at Juniper Moon, a relatively new wine bar in Des Moines, for a pre-dinner cocktail. It’s a wonderful place. It was packed and a bit noisy for my hearing-impaired ears, but we definitely enjoyed ourselves.

We had dinner at Django, one of our favorites in Des Moines. Wendy’s cousin, Kris, has been managing Django for several months and it was great to see him. He treated us to a little anniversary gift, which was very nice of him. As always, it was great to hang out with Kev and Beck.

We celebrated our anniversary and New Year’s Eve, itself, at our house. Friends brought appetizers to share and Wendy knocked herself out making her own plethora of amazing desserts. People arrived around 8:00 and the evening was spent just as we like it: good food, good drink, and good conversation. There was plenty of laughter and love to go ’round. At midnight we had the countdown and let fly with a ton of party poppers (that we still had from our wedding night!). People slowly filtered out. Kevin and Linda got the Party Hardy badge of honor for being the final guests to leave. Of course, they had the shortest commute as they left sometime after 2:30 a.m.

Wendy and start 2016 thankful for a wonderful decade together surrounded by wonderful family and friends. And, the best is yet to come!!

Chapter-a-Day

A Change in My Attitude Toward Weddings

April 9, 2014 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:9 (NIV)

I had never been wild about weddings. So much to do about things that seem so trivial. So much tension between brides and their mothers. So much time, energy and attention on misplaced priorities. My attitude when required to attend or officiate a wedding had always been to grin and bear it.

That is, until New Year’s Eve 2005 when Wendy and I were married in the grand ballroom of the Temple for Performing Arts in Des Moines. We has spent months planning a celebration of our marriage. We had put a lot of thought into minimizing things that didn’t matter (flowers, tuxes, dresses trappings) and focusing on things that we felt mattered most (sincerity, honoring God, expressing ourselves, catering to our guests).

Being theatre people, we scripted a gala New Year’s Eve wedding that would flow for everyone in attendance. We sent out save the date cards telling people to get ready to dress to the nines and enjoy a New Year’s Eve party like no other. At 8:00 p.m. we were married on the ballroom as our guests sat at tables around the perimeter of the floor. As I kissed my new bride to end the ceremony, the strains of Etta James’ “At Last” began and we had our first dance. We were, after all, standing on the dance floor. When the song was over the food was blessed and served, the wine was poured, and the party began. Simple. Ceremony then celebration. No waiting. No standing around. Let the wedding feast begin!

We danced and celebrated with family and friends until midnight then rang in the New Year and our new lives together. I know that I’m biased, but it was an incredible wedding. I would do it all over again with very few changes (we’re theatre people – there are always things you can do to improve the last performance).

I realized this morning as I read the verse above that I have a completely different perspective reading it than I would have had before that night. Wedding as celebration of something special, eternal, life giving, and communal had never been real for me until that night. I look back on that special night and think about the wedding feast of the Lamb as a similar celebration exponentially more incredible.

No more grinning and bearing it. I have a different attitude towards weddings, and when it comes to the wedding feast of the Lam, believe me, I can’t wait.

Wayfarer's Journal

Heading South and Out to Sea

February 13, 2014 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

Westerdam docked at Grand Turk — (Photo credit: Phil Comeau)

We have been slogging our way through one of the coldest, most brutal winters I can remember. Around where we live, the casual conversation revolves ceaselessly around the weather and how sick everyone is of snow, ice an sub-zero temperatures.

Because Wendy and I have invested so much in our place on the lake, going there has eaten up 98 percent of our vacation time for the past several years. We love it there, but because we both work from home (be that home in Iowa or home at the lake), we are almost never unplugged for any length of time even when we’re hanging out at the lake. For our anniversary this year, Wendy and I decided to treat ourselves to a week away from cold, snow, work and the grind. It’s our first true “getaway” vacation since our trip to London in 2009.

Tomorrow morning these wayfarers will be up before the butt-crack of dawn, leaving our computers behind, and heading south and out to sea. We will be unplugged and pretty much unreachable for seven days. Needless to say, there will be no posts for ten days.

Carry on. See you when we return! 😉

Chapter-a-Day

Time Reveals the True Measure of a Leader

November 19, 2013 Tom Vander Well 3 Comments

Then the Lord said to Samuel, “I am sorry that I ever made Saul king, for he has not been loyal to me and has refused to obey my command.” 1 Samuel 15:10-11a (NLT)

On Friday the United States will mark the 50th anniversary of the assination of President John F. Kenndedy. The media has been stirring for the past week with programs and news stories about Kennedy and his legacy. On Sunday, the news magazine CBS Sunday Morning spent their entire 90 minutes exploring the life and death of the young President. Wendy and I were on the couch watching as it’s part of our Sunday morning routine.

Wendy and I discussed President Kennedy that morning and the reality that he was in office less than three years before he was shot. Kennedy inspired the nation and laid out a grand vision, but he was killed before the nation could hold him accountable for his leadership in taking us to the realization of that vision. Reading current headlines is an interesting contrast. Our current President also inspired the nation and laid out a grand vision, but five years later the nation is in an uproar over failed implementation, the President’s party is in open rebellion, the nation is more politically divided than ever, and his approval rating is quickly plummeting. We will never know how Kennedy would have fared five years into his Presidency.

Time reveals the true measure of a leader, for time will always reveals a leader’s strengths and weaknesses. Like many leaders, King Saul started strong out of the gate. He led the nation to victory while displaying humility and deference. Today’s chapter, however, reveals a steady decline of character:

He was disobedient, allowing his army to capture the King of the Amalekites and take some of the spoils for themselves.
He excused his disobedience and lied, stating that the spoils were going to be sacrificed to God so that made it all okay.
When Samuel sought out Saul he found Saul, in a display of arrogant pride, erecting a monument to himself (I am so tempted to make the obvious phallic joke here).
When initially confronted with his disobedience, Saul did the usual political back-pedaling, obfuscating, and justifying his actions.

I am thankful that I do not have to face the spotlight of leadership on a national or global scale. Nevertheless, each of us find ourselves in positions of leadership in our homes, our businesses, neighborhoods and our communities. Time will reveal our strengths and weaknesses to those who follow, even if it’s only among our children, grandchildren or extended family. And make no mistake, our weaknesses will be revealed.

I have come to believe that perhaps the real pivotal question of leadership on any scale is how we respond to our own weaknesses and failures. Do we run, hide, excuse, justify, obfuscate, stonewall, gloss over, and deny? Or, do we accept, confess, own up, reconcile, learn from, better ourselves, and make things right?

Missing the Signs (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Leadership Lessons from the King-Elect (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Anatomy of a Human Heart – After God’s Own Heart 1 (dashred.wordpress.com)
Saul’s disobedience (mwitbeck.wordpress.com)
The Bookend Monarchs (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Clean Hands, Clear Conscience (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Governing Observations (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)

Wayfarer's Journal

Celebrating with the Folks at the Lake

September 14, 2013 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

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Wendy and I headed down at the end of the week to spend a few days with my folks who have been spending some time at the lake. They celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary this weekend so we enjoyed celebrating with them. We headed down on Thursday only to realize just before we arrived that Wendy had left the bag with all of her clothes back in Iowa. So we back tracked to the outlet mall in Osage to pick up a couple of essentials she needed. Fortunately, she had left some clothes down there and did just fine.

Thursday evening we grilled some steaks and opened a bottle of wine. The weather was gorgeous and we enjoyed a quiet evening before turning in early.

Wendy and I worked much of the day on Friday, but knocked off early enough for a waverunner ride and a walk down to Captain Ron’s to check out the boat show. We ran into Wayne and Chris Vander Leest from Pella and enjoyed a nice chat. We finished the afternoon back home soaking up some rays as we floated on the water.

We headed out on the boat Friday evening and went to The Fish & Company for dinner. When the waitress came to take our drink order I mentioned that we were celebrating the folks 56th anniversary. “HOLY CRAP!” she exclaimed. We had a lot of fun with that one. The sun was going down as we headed home and it was a little chilly on the water. The folks are taking their boat back to Iowa next week in hopes of selling it, so we sort of felt like it was a bit of a swan song for the ol’ Sylvan which has served the family so well for many years. We got back to the house and watched “Unstoppable” before heading to bed.

Wendy and I got up and headed home just before noon this morning. The folks are going to stay at the lake for a while. It was a quick trip, but a fun trip. It’s always a blast getting to hang out with the folks.

Summer 2013 Wraps Up (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Fifth Annual JP-VL-VW SummerFest (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
Refreshing Weekend (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)

Wayfarer's Journal

Fourth of July Family Weekend at the Lake

July 8, 2013 Tom Vander Well 2 Comments

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As I mentioned in my earlier post this morning, it was a fantastic weekend at the lake with family. Wendy, her sister Suzanna, and I drove up on Wednesday morning and spent the afternoon getting the Playhouse ready for the onslaught. Clayton jumped in the van with my folks, they picked up Taylor (flying in from weekend with a friend in L.A.) and Madison (flying in from her home in Colorado Springs), at the Des Moines airport and headed south, arriving in time for a late dinner of pizza from Captain Ron’s. My sister Jody, her husband Scott and their kids Solomon and Emma left after Sol got off work and arrived in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

The Fourth of July was spent outside in the sun. Other than a brief, intense rain/hail storm that evening, the weekend was gorgeous with highs in the mid-80s and night time temps falling low enough to open the house. There was a lot of time in the “relaxation station” on the water on Thursday. Tom and Wendy served up a wonderful meal of smoked salmon for dinner that night as we celebrated Taylor’s 23rd birthday. It was a chilly evening and we headed out on the water to watch the fireworks at Captain Ron’s, only they didn’t shoot off fireworks that night (oops). Our neighbors, however, shot off a mess of them and we enjoyed the private show. Taylor brought sparklers and glow bracelets to enjoy.

Friday morning a bunch of the crew headed out on a neighbors boat so that Jody could (attempt to) water ski. The rest of us hung out. Mid-day we headed out on the boat to Bear Bottom resort for fun on the water slide and in the pool. We were going to eat lunch there but it was going to take forever to get served. We tried Captain Ron’s but there was a two-hour wait there, too. So we ate at the Playhouse. Jody and Scott made enchiladas for us that night. A tradition in our house is to answer questions from the “If” book after dinner and we spent a long while gathered around the table answering questions like “If you could read one person’s diary, whose would you read and why?” We learned a lot about one another and enjoyed a ton of laughs. As night descended we sat out on the lawn by the lake to watch Captain Ron’s fireworks.

Saturday started with the requisite run to Sunrise Doughnuts. Between doughnuts, grandma’s cinnamon rolls, grandma’s chocolate chip cookies, Jody’s monster cookies, and Wendy’s cheesecake, and an anniversary cake for Scott and Jody we all got fat ‘n happy through the weekend. More sun and fun on the dock on Saturday. Scott took the kids into Osage to shop at the outlet mall. Wendy and I snuck off on the waverunner for a while. In the afternoon people kind of did their own things. People read, Maddy and I went out to Bulldog’s Beach House for a daddy/daughter date. People watched movies.

Saturday night was Grandpa and Grandma’s turn to treat with barbecue ribs and chicken. We celebrated Jody and Scott’s anniversary with a cake. That night we played Quelf together and had an uproariously good time. The kids stayed up to watch movies while the adults pooped out early.

Sunday morning Wendy and I made one last, big meal to have together. The crew did a wonderful job of helping pick up and clean and then packed up and headed out a little after 10:00 a.m. leaving Wendy, Suzanna and me in an odd sort of quiet.

Wayfarer's Journal

My Top Ten Posts After Seven Years

February 17, 2012 Tom Vander Well 2 Comments

Next month represents my 7th anniversary as a blogger. I was looking yesterday at my top ten posts of all time. Beyond the usual suspects, I found it interesting to see which posts got legs and generated more views than others. Here they are, from the home office in Pella, Iowa. The top ten Wayfarer posts from seven years:

10. Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 46

9. Day 19: Something that Never Fails to Make You Feel Better

8. Tom Vander Well meet Tom Vanderwell

7. Day 5: List Five Things that Irritate You About the Same/Opposite Sex

6. Chapter-a-Day Proverbs 11

5. Striking a Chord: When a Blog Post Goes Viral

4. Chapter-a-Day Proverbs 10

3. Day 2: How Have You Changed in the Past Two Years?

2. Speaking of Changes in Life

1. 10 Ways Being a Theatre Major Prepared Me for Success

As I look through the list, it’s a reminder to me of the blog posting mantra that Mike Sansone impressed up on me when I started. Always “link out” to another post, he told me. I can see that some of the posts on the top ten made it simply because they had been “linked” within a popular post. The more people read the popular post, the more likely some would click the link and explore what it had to say.

Blog on.

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Just another wayfarer on life's journey, headed for Home. I'm carrying The Message, and I'm definitely waiting for Guffman.