Tag Archives: Willful

“Break This Wild Pony!”

“Break This Wild Pony!” (CaD Lev 26) Wayfarer

“‘If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over. I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.’
Leviticus 26:18-19 (NIV)

Last week I wrote about our granddaughter Sylvie and her two-year-old willfulness. I will never forget the words of our son-in-law as he and our daughter addressed the subject of their daughter’s stubborn self-will.

“We’re going to break this wild pony!” her father proclaimed with all of the love and resolve of a parent who ultimately wants what is best for his daughter. He knows instinctively that allowing her self-centered tenacity to continue will not be healthy for her or those around her in the future.

Exactly.

We are down to the final two chapters of God’s ancient priestly manual for His ancient Hebrew people in the toddler stages of humanity. Today’s chapter reads like a father addressing his toddler in simple and direct terms.

“Trust me on this, kiddo. If you obey and do as daddy says, then things are going to be good between us. Life is going to be better and more enjoyable all around for you. If, however, you refuse to obey and continue in your stubborn, willful disobedience, then I’m afraid life is going to get extremely difficult and not at all enjoyable for you. You can learn this the easy way or the hard way. It’s your choice, but I love you and I am not going to let you get away with being a self-centered little shit-hill.”

[By the way, “shit-hills” is what my grandma Vander Well called me and my siblings after spending a week with us while our parents were on vacation in the UK. I was five. I’m sure we earned the four-letter-laden moniker. It seemed apt in this context.]

What really blew me away as I read through God’s warning to His brood of toddlers is that it is a prophetic foreshadowing of exactly what is going to happen 750 years in the future:

“I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you.”

Eventually, about 500 years after God warns His children about this in today’s chapter the Hebrew family splinters into two with the siblings factions at war with one another. That’s what happens when stubborn toddlers grow up to be pig-headed adolescents. About 200 years later, one set of siblings is conquered by the Assyrian Empire. About 150 years after that, the other set of siblings falls to the Babylonian Empire.

“When you withdraw into your cities, I will send a plague among you, and you will be given into enemy hands. When I cut off your supply of bread, ten women will be able to bake your bread in one oven, and they will dole out the bread by weight. You will eat, but you will not be satisfied.
Leviticus 26:25-26

When they were conquered, the city of Jerusalem was surrounded in a siege by the Babylon. The Hebrew people stuck inside the walls slowly used up all of their provisions until starvation set in. Jeremiah describes it in his poem of Lamentations:

All her people groan
    as they search for bread;
they barter their treasures for food
    to keep themselves alive.
“Look, Lord, and consider,
    for I am despised.”

Lamentations 1:11

God goes on in Leviticus:

“You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters.” (vs 29)

Jeremiah goes on to describe this eventuality:

“Look, Lord, and consider:
    Whom have you ever treated like this?
Should women eat their offspring,
    the children they have cared for?

Lamentations 2:20

God continues in today’s chapter:

“I will scatter you among the nations and will draw out my sword and pursue you. Your land will be laid waste, and your cities will lie in ruins.” (vs. 33)

Jerusalem was utterly destroyed along with Solomon’s famous temple, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. Both the Hebrew children of the northern kingdom and southern kingdom were taken into exile by the Assyrians and Babylonians, just as God foreshadowed.

But the bitter consequences of a child’s stubborn will and rebellion do not change the love of a parent. The hope is that those harsh life lessons will eventually lead to a change of heart. God even foreshadows this in today’s chapter.

“‘But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their ancestors—their unfaithfulness and their hostility toward me… I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them or abhor them so as to destroy them completely, breaking my covenant with them.’ (vss. 40, 42, 44)

It was while in exile in Babylon that the stories of Daniel, Esther, and Ezekiel take place. Just as promised, God does not abandon them in exile, but uses them to encourage His people and bear witness to their enemies. In the books of Ezra and Nehemiah, God brings His humbled and repentant children back home to Jerusalem like the Prodigal Son in Jesus’ parable. They rebuild Jerusalem and their lives.

There are even more direct prophetic connections and spiritual truths in today’s chapter than I have time and space to unpack. I hope you get the picture. In the quiet this morning I am amazed at the layers of meaning and spiritual truth contained in one chapter. God and humanity, parents and children, prophecy and fulfillment, historical events and metaphorical spiritual lessons that are applicable for me today are all crammed into 46 verses.

As I enter my day, I am reminded that no matter how old I get in physical human terms I never stop being a child of God. Each day my heart, my mind, my actions, and my choices can search out and follow my Father’s will. I can also choose to follow my own stubborn will, self-centered desires, and indulge my base human appetites. It is the same every day. It is my choice. My choices have natural consequences of both flesh and Spirit.

What choices will I make today?

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

To Appeal, or Not?

To Appeal, or Not? (Cad Acts 25) Wayfarer

“If, however, I am guilty of doing anything deserving death, I do not refuse to die. But if the charges brought against me by these Jews are not true, no one has the right to hand me over to them. I appeal to Caesar!”
Acts 25:11 (NIV)

Paul has been imprisoned for two years. He had been a political blue-chip for the Roman Governor, Felix, who wanted to stay on the good side of the Jewish rulers who wanted Paul dead. Paul gave him leverage. Felix gets recalled to Rome and a new Governor named Festus arrives. As Festus gets the political lay of the land, he quickly understands that the trial and fate of Paul is a political hot potato.

Festus begins with a political gesture to his Jewish constituents by traveling to Jerusalem to visit them on their home turf for a little over a week. Obviously, there were a number of political issues to discuss, but Paul’s fate was certainly on the list of Jewish demands.

Upon arriving back in his seat of power in Caesarea, Festus convenes the court and brings in Paul to hear Paul plead his case. Festus, still in a conciliatory mood with the powerful Jewish faction under his rule, asks Paul if he’s willing to be tried by the Governor in Jerusalem.

In this moment, Paul makes a decision that will seal his fate and determine the rest of his earthly journey. We know that Jesus had appeared to Paul and told him he must testify about Him in Rome (Acts 23:11). It is entirely possible that Paul was afraid that the new Governor, clearly trying to appease the Jewish rulers, would take him to Jerusalem and hand him over to them. To ensure that he would testify in Rome, Paul used his legal right under Roman law to appeal his case to Caesar in Rome itself. In doing so, Paul ties Festus’ hands politically. Festus is bound by duty to send Paul to Rome.

Along my life journey, I have encountered followers of Jesus who believe that God has called them to do this or that. Subsequently, I have watched individuals try to make it happen. In some cases, the results have been disastrous, much like Shakespeare’s Macbeth. It has left me believing that if God’s purpose is for me to go here or there and do this or that, then nothing can stop it from happening.

Was Paul’s appeal to Rome necessary or not? If God wanted Paul to testify in Rome, could/should Paul have trusted that God would see to it he won his trial in Jerusalem so he could travel to Rome of his own free will? Was his appeal to Caesar an act of obedience or an act of doubt? We’ll never know.

I have found along the way that God’s purposes and my free will are a lot like the mysterious circle dance of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in which One is Three and Three are One. There’s a tension. On one hand I can be too passive and think I’m trusting God to make things happen. On the other hand, I can willfully try too hard to make things happen and think I’m being obedient to what God has purposed for me.

Life is a bit like the Waverunner we have at the lake. If you don’t have your finger on the accelerator and are propelling yourself forward, you can’t steer the thing. My part is to willfully and obediently walk in discipleship (propelling myself spiritually forward). Then, I can trust God to steer me where He ultimately purposes for me to be.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Breaking a Stiff-Neck

Breaking a Stiff-Neck (CaD Ex 33) Wayfarer

For the Lord had said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people; if for a single moment I should go up among you, I would consume you. So now take off your ornaments, and I will decide what to do to you.’”
Exodus 33:5 (NRSVCE)

One of the ironies of this period of COVID-19 pandemic is that everyone has been stuck inside with nothing to do, but because the quarantine includes actors, crews, studios, and production companies there’s been nothing new to watch on television! So, Wendy and I have been extra excited to have new episodes of Yellowstone airing the past three weeks.

If you haven’t watched Yellowstone, it’s about the patriarch of the largest ranch in the United States that also happens to be some of the most valuable and sought after land in the world. Kevin Costner plays the widowed, wealthy, and powerfully connected rancher John Dutton who struggles to control his dysfunctional family and protect his ranch from a host of enemies who want to take him down and get their hands on his land. Wendy and I have both observed that it’s a lot like a modern-day Godfather, but rather than Italian mobsters in New York it’s cowboys in Montana.

One of the subtle, recurring themes in the show is that of wild horses that need to be broken. In the first season, we’re introduced to Jimmy, a drug-addicted, two-strike loser going nowhere. As a favor to Jimmy’s grandfather, Dutton takes Jimmy on as a ranch-hand. In an iconic moment, Jimmy is tied and duct-taped onto a wild horse that no one else could break. All-day long Jimmy is bucked, spun, and tossed on the back of the horse. By the end of the day, the horse is finally broken, and so is Jimmy.

Today’s chapter is a sequel to yesterday’s story of the Hebrew people abandoning Moses, and the God of Moses, by making an idol for themselves and reverting to their old ways. In response, God calls the people “stiff-necked” (other English translations and paraphrases use words like “stubborn’ or “willful”). One commentator I read stated that the imagery of the original Hebrew word was an ox, bull, or another animal that was unbroken and wouldn’t yield to being yoked. I couldn’t help but think of poor Jimmy duct-taped to that horse.

One of the things I’ve observed in certain human beings is an unbroken spirit. I recall Wendy sitting with a toddler who was determined to climb up our bookcase at the lake which, of course, would have been a dangerous thing to do. The little one had revealed a habit of willfully proceeding whenever an adult said “No.” Wendy sat there and repeatedly pulled the child’s hand and foot off of the bookcase over, and over, and over again as she gently and firmly repeated: “No.” I remember Wendy explaining to the child that she would sit there all day and repeat the process until the child understood. The child cried, wailed, and threw a tantrum in frustration as Wendy calmly continued to deny the toddler’s willful, stiff-necked desire.

Of course, adults can be simply grown-ups who are stuck in childish patterns of thought and behavior. One of the most fascinating things about the story of the early Jesus movement is the transformation in the strong-willed, stiff-necked followers such as Peter, Paul, and John. With each one there was a process involved in the spiritual transformation that included moments of their strong-wills being broken and their spirits humbled as they learned what Jesus meant when He said things like “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” and “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.”

In the quiet this morning I am looking back on my nearly 40 years as a follower of Jesus. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. Life has tossed me around a time or two. Some stretches of the journey felt like I was spinning in place. But I’ve come to realize that the spiritual journey is just me being poor Jimmy on that horse. I’ve found God to be a lot like Wendy at that bookcase repeatedly and gently telling a childish, stiff-necked Tommy “No.” The breaking of my will is a prerequisite for discovering God’s.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day John 13

 

Peter's Denial by Rembrandt, 1660. Jesus is sh...
Peter's Denial by Rembrandt, 1660. Jesus is shown in the upper right hand corner, his hands bound behind him, turning to look at Peter. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going?”
And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later.”
“But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.”
Jesus answered, “Die for me? I tell you the truth, Peter—before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.
John 13:36-38 (NLT) 


It is Holy Week as I write this, the day before Maundy (Sorrowful) Thursday. How appropriate for our chapter-a-day journey to bring us to the events of that night as all who follow after Jesus remember them in our annual pilgrimage through the calendar year.

The truth is, as I sit in the darkness before dawn and read about Judas, and read about Peter, I want to distance myself from them.

“Who is it that will betray you? I would never. Not me. I would never deny you. I’d die for you!” I hear my own spirit in the words of Jesus closest friends. “Not me. I’d never…”

But, then I hear the rooster crowing in my own conscience. I do it every day. I betray Him with each willfully sinful thought, and word, and act. I deny Him with  each self-centered motive. That’s the point. Not that we would be just like Judas and Peter if we were there then, but that we are just like Judas and Peter here and now. That’s why Jesus went to the cross. Not just because of Judas’ kiss, but also because of mine.

Chapter-a-Day Isaiah 43

Danger. "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43: 1b-3a (MSG)

I'm in over my head…because I chose to jump in the deep end.

I'm in rough waters…because I dismissed the dark clouds on the far horizon.

I'm between a rock and a hard place…because I just had to check out what was over the edge of the cliff.

Despite my willfulness, in spite of my foolishness, undeterred by my senseless choices, God is there to protect, to save, and to guide.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and squeakywheel