Tag Archives: Stages

Chapter-a-Day

Momento Mori

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The Lord said to Moses, “Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people.”
Numbers 31:1 (NIV)

Along my life journey, I’ve experienced walking along side friends and loved ones who received tragic diagnoses. My mother had both auto-immune hepatitis and Alzheimer’s, both of them incurable and ultimately fatal. My father lives with Multiple Myeloma. It’s understandably unnerving to discover that this human body has fallen prey to an incurable disease that will cut one’s life shorter than expected and lead to death.

In walking along side individuals facing this tragic reality, I’ve found it fascinating to observe their attitudes and actions. It’s always a bit different, and I’ve come to understand that every individual has to find their own way through the experience. Not surprisingly, I commonly observe the stages of grief as individuals grapple with their difficult reality: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I have also observed individuals getting stuck in one or more of those stages seemingly incapable of progressing to the place of acceptance. In other individuals, I’ve observed a gracious and spiritually mature embrace of the inevitable that I’ve admired and respected.

Today’s chapter begins with such a death sentence. God’s man, Moses, is told that he’s going to die. God has just one more task for Mo to carry out. Mo is tasked with leading God’s vengeance against the Midianites who had conscripted the seer Balaam to curse the Hebrews and then conspired to seduce and spiritually corrupt the Hebrew men into immorality and pagan worship.

Make no mistake, it’s a thorny chapter that caused me to wrestle with God in my meditations. Nevertheless, I kept coming back to that first verse. Moses’ death sentence.

What struck me is that Moses quickly and faithfully carries out the task God gives him the way he has faithfully carried out God’s instructions for decades. There’s no hint of grief, anger, bargaining, or depression. Moses was not like the depressed prophet Elijah who ran to Mount Sinai and wallowed in self-pity. Moses carries on. He is obedient. He does what he’s always done.

In walking with loved ones on their journey through terminal diagnoses and the road that follows, I’ve come to embrace the truth that every human being has a terminal diagnosis from the day we are born. We live in a fallen world under the curse of death. I am going to die. Medical science tells us that physical and mental development ends in our mid-twenties. After that, humans can only work to maintain optimal health for our age, but the body continues to age and that aging process is a slow descent toward a physical death no one escapes.

I have a bracelet I wear. Actually, it’s a Roman Catholic rosary, though I’m obviously not Catholic. The rosary, however, was crafted with a motif rooted in a medieval school of thought called Momento Mori that was adopted by monks and crusader knights alike.

Momento Mori is Latin and it translates “Remember your death” or more aptly “Remember you’re going to die.” It was a school of Christian thought in which individuals constantly kept the death sentence we all live under at the front of our conscious thought rather than stuffing it back in the recesses of cognitive denial. The notion of Momento Mori was that being daily reminded of, and meditating on, my mortality, it will motivate me to see this day differently, react differently, relate differently, and live differently. Momento Mori is working through the stages of grief and coming to acceptance of my impending death long before a doctor walks into the room and tells me I have cancer.

In the quiet this morning, I observe that Moses seems to have embraced the spirit of Momento Mori. Mo has humbly been obedient, despite being flawed and making tragic mistakes, ever since God appeared to him in the burning bush and announced He had a job. It isn’t recorded that he was rattled by the pronouncement that death will quickly follow this next task. He simply carries out the task.

Today is day 21,684 of my earthly journey. While it is probable that I will wake up to day 21,685 tomorrow morning, it is not guaranteed.

May I humbly live out this day faithfully following Jesus and being obedient to those things to which God has called me.

Momento Mori.

For anyone interested, the bracelet I reference, also pictured in today’s featured photo can be purchased from Crux Invicta.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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A bracelet designed with a 'Momento Mori' motif, symbolizing the reminder of mortality, possibly displayed alongside a Bible or spiritual context.
Chapter-a-Day

Perpetually Growing

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Perpetually Growing (CaD 2 Thess 1) – Wayfarer

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.
2 Thessalonians 1:3 (NIV)

Wendy and I spent the past week at the lake with the kids and grandkids and good friends of theirs who have a daughter Milo’s age and another baby on the way. Wendy and I had a great time with them and enjoyed playing host. We got home late in the day on Saturday, and yesterday we joined our local gathering of Jesus’ followers, including my father.

It’s a fascinating season of life for me. I’ve been meditating on this a lot in recent days. Our kids are in the throes of parenting young children, being first-time homeowners, building careers, and paying the bills. At the same time, we’re walking with my 87-year-old father who is learning about life without his spouse of 60-plus years, living in a relatively new community, and managing the aches and pains, bumps and bruises, and perpetual medical diagnoses that come with the human body in its inevitable decline.

While at the lake, our daughter asked, “Were you overwhelmed all the time when we were little kids? I don’t remember you seeming overwhelmed.”

I laughed. Oh man, was I overwhelmed.

I shared that story yesterday morning with a young man who was in high school with Taylor and Clayton and is in the same season of life. His father, now retired, was standing there with him. We had a good talk and a few laughs about life’s stresses and being overwhelmed in that season of life. His father then added, “I hate to break it to you, but I sometimes feel just as overwhelmed today!”

And, it’s true. The things that overwhelm us change, but life has its challenges in every season on life’s road.

Today we begin Paul’s second letter to his friends in Thessalonica. It was written shortly after the first letter. It’s shorter than the first, and the themes are relatively the same. He wants to applaud how they are handling continued persecution. He wants to address issues surrounding Jesus’ return, and he wants to give them encouragement.

In today’s opening of the letter, Paul acknowledges that their faith is growing “more and more” and their love for one another is “increasing.” One of the things that struck me about this was reading in the context of a post I wrote last week in which Paul encourages an increase in the Thessalonian believers’ faith and love. They took his encouragement to heart and continued to grow in faith and love.

This takes me back to Taylor’s observation and question about young children being relatively oblivious to their parents’ being overwhelmed. I have found along the life journey that we have certain perceptions of what life will be like down the road that are simply wrong. I used to think that at some point on life’s road, I would feel like I’ve “arrived” and things get easier. They don’t. The challenges simply look different. Along with this misguided sense of “arrival,” I thought that one sort of reaches a pinnacle place of spiritual maturity in which you’ve learned it all. Quite the opposite, the further I push into spiritual maturity the more aware I am of how much further I have to go. As C.S. Lewis put it, there’s always more to reach for “further up, and further in.”

And that’s why I loved Paul’s acknowledgment of the Thessalonian believers’ increase in faith and love. They were fledgling believers, but they were growing and increasingly producing spiritual fruit.

In the quiet this morning I am reminded that this should never end on this earthly journey. As long as I have life and breath I will be pushing further up, and further in toward God’s Kingdom. I will perpetually be letting old things pass away so that new things may come. I will always be spiritually growing, learning, repenting, and increasing in faith and love, even as my body begins and continues the slow decline to physical death.

It is the beginning of another work week. I have a number of things on my task list this week. I have added “Grow in and exhibit more faith and love” to the top of the list. If I’m not increasing in that, accomplishing all of the other tasks is eternally meaningless.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Jury Box Pondering

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“Remember that you molded me like clay.
    Will you now turn me to dust again?”
Job 10:9 (NIV)

Many years ago, I taught a class on creativity that was based largely on The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. The lessons and exercises in The Artist’s Way were instrumental in my own journey. God used them to bear the fruits of insight, understanding, and spiritual healing in me. In my class, I simply shared them and facilitated their work in others. I was amazed how the creative process allowed some individuals to express, perhaps for the very first time in their lives, traumatic events that had been a giant, suppressed, spiritual block for many, many years.

I have known individuals along my life journey who have had horrid experiences in life whether it was being the victim of a human perpetrator or the victim of an accident or natural disaster. I have observed many different ways in which people cope (or don’t cope) with the suffering. I have heard many different voices work through the stages of grief, or sometimes spiral into a perpetual cycle of despair.

In the previous chapter, Job dreams of a courtroom drama in which he has the opportunity of taking God to court where he can put the Almighty on the stand and make God defend the suffering that Job accuses God of inflicting on him. In today’s chapter, Job continues to play out his mock trial before his three friends. He questions the heavenly defendant, before concluding, in despair, that whether he was guilty or innocent, God appears not to care.

I pondered Job’s prosecution of God this morning as if I was a juror in his improvisational courtroom play.

I don’t fault Job for his anger. He’s walking through the stages of grief like any other human being. But in his line of questioning, I noticed that Job has made some prosecutorial assumptions.

First, Job is assuming that God alone is the perpetrator of his earthly suffering. This is nothing new. We do that to this day. When a branch of my tree fell on the neighbor’s house and went through their roof the insurance company called it an “act of God.”

God gets blamed for a lot of things, but the Great Story (and the Job story) make it clear that the force of evil is also at play in this fallen world. We could spin into a philosophical discussion, of course, but for now I simply acknowledge that it was Satan who accused Job and was the perpetrator of his suffering. I find it ironic that after Satan afflicts Job he disappears in the story. I believe this to be one of evil’s common tactics, to perpetrate suffering and then pin the blame on God.

Job then asks God an interesting question:

“Remember that you molded me like clay.
    Will you now turn me to dust again?”

It’s ironic because it points directly back to the Garden of Eden. After Adam and Eve sin, God explains the consequences of their sin. They will exit the Garden and live in a fallen world where sin holds sway, evil has dominion, and earthly life ends in death:

“By the sweat of your brow
    you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”

In accusing God of turning him into dust again, Job ignores the fact that death, suffering, and the consequences of sin has been humanity’s lot since Adam. Job lives on the same earth I do, in which evil exists and leaves innocent victims in its wake as it pursues power, greed, lust, and pride without regard to the pain, chaos, and death that naturally results. We also live in a fallen world in which rivers flood, hurricanes blow, volcanos explode, earthquakes rock, tornadoes spin, and tree limbs fall through your neighbor’s roof.

In the quiet this morning, I continue to feel for Job’s questions, his pain, the anger he feels in the seeming inequities of his experience. He had been living a pretty blessed existence that fit neatly into the box of his simple, contractual “Santa Clause” theology: “Do good and God blesses you. Do bad and God punishes you.” But my own life journey reveals that to be incongruent with what the Great Story actually reveals and what we experience on this earth.

In the midst of my own (relatively inconsequential) suffering along the way, I’ve had to do my own work through the stages of grief. One of the things that I discovered was that blaming of God for my suffering was actually denial of what God clearly reveals as the realities of life in a fallen, sinful world.

Sometimes you do nothing but good, and they crucify you for it.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Continued Exodus

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The Continued Exodus (CaD Ex 40) – Wayfarer

Then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. Moses was not able to enter the tent of meeting because the cloud settled upon it, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.
Exodus 40:34-35 (NRSVCE)

In my current waypoint in life’s journey, I find it fascinating to observe the change in relationship that occurs between parent and child across one’s lifetime. I’m speaking, of course, in generalities, for every family system has unique elements based on the individual personalities, temperaments, and relationships in a human family system.

Both a child, and then as a parent of young children, I experienced the combination of love and fear that accompanies the parental-child relationship. A small child knows the love, hugs, cuddles, protection, and guidance of a parent. The child also has healthy respect for the parent’s size, power, authority, and wrath.

I can remember when the girls were young and would sleep together in the same room. When they were supposed to be in bed sleeping they would sometimes giggle, play, and get themselves riled up. All it took was for me to open the door and step in the room to change the atmosphere of the room. I wasn’t even angry or upset, but they reacted to my presence with a behavioral reset.

Now that our daughters are adults with their own family systems, the relationship has matured. I feel from both of them genuine respect, gratitude, and honor. Long gone are childish fears of parental wrath, which are replaced with a desire for healthy relationship void of disappointment, shame, control, enmeshment, and conflict. There is still a child’s natural desire for affirmation, encouragement, pride, guidance, and support from dad.

In today’s chapter, we finish the journey through the book of Exodus. The Hebrews have been delivered from slavery in Egypt. They have been introduced to God by Moses. A covenant between God and the Hebrews has been established along with a code of conduct and a system of worship complete with a traveling temple called the Tabernacle. Exodus ends with the completion of the Tabernacle and God’s “glory” descending in the form of a cloud that filled the tent and surrounded it. At night, the cloud appeared to be filled with fire. Even Moses, who had repeatedly been in the midst of God’s glory, was afraid of entering in.

The cloud and fire of God’s presence have been mentioned multiple times in the journey through Exodus. I couldn’t help but notice that the reaction of Moses and the Hebrew people was like that of Taylor and Madison when I would enter the room of little giggling girls who weren’t going to sleep. There is respect, a little bit of awe, and a little bit of fear. I keep going back to my podcast Time (Part 1) in which I unpack the notion of human history being like a natural human life-cycle. Moses and the Hebrews are in the toddler stage of humanity. For them, God is this divine authority figure who loves them, delivered them, protected them, provided for them, and did mighty works they couldn’t comprehend. There is both appreciation, devotion, but also awe and fear.

Fast-forward 1500 years. Humanity is no longer a child and ready for the divine rite-of-passage. Father God sends His own Son to live among us, teach us, and exemplify His ways in humility, pouring out, surrender and sacrifice. The night before His crucifixion, as He is about to consummate this eternal rite-of-passage, Jesus speaks of the relationship between humans and God the Father in very different terms:

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

“All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:23-27 (NIV)

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
John 15:12-16 (NIV)

Can you feel the difference? This is no longer pyrotechnics and daddy booming “GO TO SLEEP!” to wide-eyed, little ones who have little cognitive capacity. This is the dad talk at the waypoint of launching and releasing into adulthood: “I love you. You’re ready for this. I’ll always be right here for you, but it’s time. You’ve got this. Remember what I’ve told you and shown you. Love, be humble, be generous, do the right thing, and love, love, love, love, love.”

In the quiet this morning, I’m reminded that it never ends. For those who ask, seek, and knock. For any who truly follows and obeys. This dance, this relationship, this journey never stops progressing. It keeps changing as we change. It keeps maturing as we mature. It keeps getting layered with more, deeper meaning, and deeper understanding.

Do you know what Exodus means? It’s defined as a “going out; an emigration.” God led the Hebrews in a going out of slavery, into the wilderness, toward the promise land. Jesus led us in a going out from a different kind of slavery, into a different kind of wilderness, heading toward the ultimate Promised Land.

That night that Jesus had “the talk” with His followers, He began the talk with these words:

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”
John 14:2-3 (NIV)

That’s where this Wayfarer is headed as I “go out” on another day of this journey. Thanks for joining me, friend. Cheers!

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Stages of the Journey

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“Here are the stages in the journey of the Israelites when they came out of Egypt by divisions under the leadership of Moses and Aaron. At the Lord’s command Moses recorded the stages in their journey. This is their journey by stages….”
Numbers 33:1-2 (NIV)

Yesterday our daughter Taylor was featured in a blog post by Ivory House photography. It was an artistic and poignant photo essay of our very pregnant daughter, and a tribute to all of the incredible qualities that emanate from her empowerment as a woman. Last night I read the essay and took time to appreciate how Whitney captured the beauty of Taylor and her pregnancy. I was struck at the new stage of life into which Taylor is ushering us as she gives birth to this little man we are so anxious to meet.

I woke up in the wee hours this morning. My heart was stirring. My brain wouldn’t shut down. I got up and started journaling. What came out was a stream of thoughts, fears, and hopes as I sense Wendy and me on the precipice of a new stage of our life journey. Unexpectedly becoming grandparents at the end of this year is a significant piece of it, but just one piece. This has been a year in which certain callings and responsibilities have been relinquished. There are new things coming for us at work that were unforeseen a year ago. We feel God pressing us forward in other areas of life. Again, things we didn’t see coming a short time ago.

This New Years Eve will be our 12th Anniversary. Twelve years. In my unending journey through God’s Message I’ve come to learn that twelve is a significant number. It’s a number of completion.

One stage coming to completion.
Another stage about to begin.

“Old things pass away. New things come.”

Some days I’m amazed at God’s synchronicity. Finishing up my journaling, I opened up today’s chapter and what do I read?

Journey, stages, and God’s command to Moses record the stages.

Every life journey has its stages. In my experience, some stages are harder than others. Some stages feel like an endless trek through Death Valley, while others are an oasis. Some stages are an uphill grind, while others are a coast. Some are obstacle courses, and some stages are mountain top experiences so full of goodness and life that I don’t want to let them go or move on from them.

Moving from one stage to another may be a relief, or a sudden terrifying drop off the cliff, or an anxious unknowing. No matter the shift, I always find the transition comes with questions, trepidation, fear, and anxiety. Even transitioning from a difficult stage to an easier stage is still a step of faith. I rarely know what a new stage truly is until I’m well into it.

Moses and the Israelite tribes had stages of their journey from slavery in Egypt to Promised Land: Victories. Trials. Blessing. Conflict. Miracles. Struggle. And, God wanted them to record it.

“Pay attention,” God says. “Record. Remember so you can look back and see in context….”

Where have we been?
Where are we right now?
Where are we going?

This morning I’m thinking back to the stages I’ve been through. Through all the ups and downs I can see God’s provision, God’s faithfulness, God’s goodness, God’s presence and leading. That’s helpful as I turn my gaze ahead and contemplate the next step.

I stand at the precipice  of a new stage of life like the Israelites standing at the River Jordan. What will this new stage be?

Only one way to find out.

“Leap, and the net will appear.”

Chapter-a-Day, Uncategorized

Time to Grow Up

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“…so that you may not be mixed with these nations left here among you, or make mention of the names of their gods, or swear by them, or serve them, or bow yourselves down to them, but hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have done to this day.”
Joshua 22:7-8 (NRSV)

There are different stages in life. What may be good and appropriate for one stage of life may change and evolve as we grow and mature. This is natural. It is a part of the journey. It is how God designed it.

When I was a child there were boys that my parents did not want me hanging out with. My parents saw that they had different values. They were older. There was every possibility that they would have drawn me into trouble. My parents didn’t say these were “bad” kids. They simply told me to steer clear.

As I got older my parents stopped warning me about people. They sent me off to work, to college, to the mission field, and to the broader world. They wanted me to explore, to meet people, to learn, to grow, and to influence the world around me. They trusted me to be wise and discerning regarding my relationships.

I have come to believe that the relationship between God and man in history parallels the stages of human life. In today’s chapter, humanity is in its early childhood years. The people of God have become aware of their place in the world. They are learning about interacting with others. Their heavenly father warns them to steer clear of those who might have an unhealthy influence on them. Just like my parents did at that age.

Along life’s road I’ve known many followers of Jesus who still cling to this early childhood attitude of fear and suspicion towards others. They insulate themselves from their neighbors. They fear contact with others who are not like them and who don’t believe the same ways. It is as if they fear contamination should they associate with anyone who is not a part of their insular church family. They might even use Joshua’s words in today’s chapter to justify it.

Jesus’ death and resurrection was a rite of passage in the relationship between God and man. It was relational graduation into adulthood of sorts. Holy Spirit was poured out into the hearts and lives of those who believe. Jesus now sent His followers out into the world. No more hanging with the homeys behind locked doors. No more keeping to yourself. Jesus said, “Go….” Heavenly Father was kicking His children out of the nest. You’re old enough. You’re wise enough. I’ve prepared you and equipped you and it’s time for you to get out there an influence your world.

Today, I’m thinking about stages of life. There was a time when I was a child and I needed to be wary of others influencing me. Now I’m a man, and if I still live with that fear then there’s something that has short circuited in the maturation process. As Paul wrote to the followers of Jesus in the city of Corinth: “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.”

At some point, it’s time for every one of us to grow up, go out into the world into strange places among people who are new to us and influence those we meet with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.

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Chapter-a-Day

Humanity in the Toddler Stage

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At that time the Lord said to me, “Carve out two tablets of stone like the former ones, and come up to me on the mountain, and make an ark of wood. I will write on the tablets the words that were on the former tablets, which you smashed, and you shall put them in the ark.”
Deuteronomy 10:1-2 (NRSV)

For many years now I’ve been mulling over a concept that the story of God’s relationship with humanity is the story of a parent (God) and child (humanity). When humanity began in Genesis and the early chapters of the story, it reminds me of infancy. There was something innocent and naive; there was very little knowledge or understanding of God. Humanity was undeveloped. Life was messy and base.

With the story of Moses and the giving of the law in the book of Deuteronomy, it feels to me that we’re in the toddler stages of the relationship. God has to do a lot for them. Rules are simple and direct and put in black and white terms. Good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior is swiftly punished. Humanity, meanwhile, is strong willed, stubborn, willful, and…well…childish.

I was reminded of this concept again in today’s chapter. Moses, in his unchecked emotional tantrum, threw the stone tablets God made for him on which the ten commandments were inscribed and smashed them in pieces. God’s response? Like a true parent God tells Moses, “Now you’ve done it. You smashed the tablets I made you. Well, you’re going to have to replace them, young man. I’m not making you another set. You’re going to have to learn to take care of the things I give you. Now, make yourself tablets to replace the ones I gave you and I’ll inscribe them for you.” The replicas would be a word picture, a constant reminder to Moses (and the rest of the family) of his tantrum and its consequences.

In our weekly gatherings of Jesus followers we’re doing a series of messages on how we tend to confuse our relationship with our earthly father and our relationship with our heavenly Father. The former quite regularly distorts the latter. I tend to believe that this is part of the DNA of creation and it requires generous doses of wisdom, discernment and grace to untangle the two. At the same time, it also helps me see events like those in today’s chapter with greater clarity.