Tag Archives: Blame

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Best of 2023 #15

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I’m on vacation for three weeks. While I’m gone, please enjoy the top 15 posts from 2023 based on total number of page views and podcast plays. Cheers!

Beyond the Blame (CaD Job 12) – Wayfarer

“To God belong wisdom and power;
    counsel and understanding are his.”
Job 12:13 (NIV)

This past weekend, I gave a message among my local gathering of Jesus’ followers. I began the message by citing three articles I had randomly come across from my daily perusal of the news. In each case, they spoke of the current epidemic of anxiety in our culture, especially among teenagers and young adults. One of the articles I read discussed the root of this epidemic and suggested that it lies with parents.

For most of human history, children and young adults lived with the stress, anxiety, and insecurity that simply comes from living on this earth. My generation rolls our eyes at young people who are connected to their parents 24/7/365. One meme I recently saw said “my parents didn’t know where I was the entire decade of the 1980s!” It’s funny because it’s true.

I grew up having to learn to cope with naturally stressful situations because I had no choice. If I got a flat tire driving through rural Iowa, I couldn’t call someone. I couldn’t use GPS to figure out where I was or where the nearest farmhouse was. I either changed the tire with the spare in the trunk or started hoofing it until I found a farmhouse and risked knocking on the door of a stranger to ask for help.

Today’s young generations have had the luxury of parents who can and do protect them from every uncomfortable situation as they grow. Parents have gone out of their way to effectively eliminate stress, difficulty, and danger from their children’s lives while taking care of their children’s every need and granting most of their affluent, earthly desires. As these children “adult” they now see any difficulty or natural life stress as inherently bad and something to be avoided at all costs. They expect their adult lives to be as easy as their parents made their childhood and young adult years. In some cases, children refuse to leave home and feel unable to cope independently in a cruel world.

Wendy and I recently had dinner with a friend whose young adult child is walking through an acutely painful stretch of their life journey. The pain results from the actions of another person. As we explored the circumstances and the host of negative consequences that have resulted, the conversation eventually turned to our own respective life journeys. Every one of us could identify painful stretches of our own respective life journeys, and in each case the pain served to produce progress toward personal and spiritual maturity in our lives.

Perhaps the most meaningful and useful life lesson that I have gleaned from the Great Story in my 40+ years of study is the fact that suffering can produce personal and spiritual maturity while lives free of struggle are likely to produce personal and spiritual immaturity. A diverse trio of voices echo this same general principle in the Great Story: Paul in Romans 5:3-5, Peter in 1 Peter 1:6-7, and James in James 1:2-3. Struggle promotes a host of character qualities that lead to wisdom, wholeness, and spiritual maturity.

In today’s chapter, Job continues to struggle with the “why” of his suffering. He wants to know why he is going through this painful stretch of his life journey. He wants to pin the blame on something or someone. In recognizing that an omnipotent God controls all of creation, Job continues to prosecute God as the perpetrator of his circumstances.

What’s fascinating is that Job continues to hold that every event in nature and history is a direct result of God’s willful action. That’s a lot of blame to pin on God in a fallen world in which billions of sinful people have the God-given free will to choose to hurt others, even unwittingly and with the best of intentions.

In the quiet my mind wanders back to our friend’s child and the pain that young adult is experiencing as the result of another person’s actions. I think about the painful events our own daughters have had to navigate and survive in their young adult years. I recognize how those events contributed to growing them up in positive and necessary ways. I think of other friends I know with adult children still living at home unable to cope with life outside of their parents provision and enabling.

There is progress in pain if I move beyond blame.

Chapter to read for tomorrow’s Best of 2023: Job 40

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Demonizing: Then and Now

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Demonization: Then and Now (CaD Job 18) – Wayfarer

“The lamp of a wicked man is snuffed out;
    the flame of his fire stops burning.”
Job 18:5 (NIV)

I can’t help but shake my head in fascination at the times in which we are living in , especially as it relates to the polarization of politics and media. Both sides of the political spectrum are pursuing legal means to prove their opposition’s top candidate of corruption while being selectively dismissive of the accusations against their party’s candidate with a repeated refrain pointing to the opposition saying “Well, what about…”

I am reminded of a t-shirt that keeps popping up in my social media feed. It says, “Study History: Realize that People Have Been this Stupid for Thousands of Years!”

Did you know that the 1824 Presidential election between John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson ended up being decided by Congress because no candidate secured enough electoral votes? The Speaker of the House was Henry Clay, who had also run for President that year. In a back room deal, Clay secured the White House for Adams in exchange for Adams appointing Clay to one of Adams’ secretary positions. Four years later, the rematch between Adams and Jackson got nasty, with Adams’ supporters accusing General Jackson of murdering six of his own militia men and accusing his wife of adultery. Jackson’s supporters accused Adams of using public money for personal purchases, gambling inside the White House, and hiring prostitutes to create political leverage when he was ambassador to Russia.

The demonization and scapegoating of others, especially those who are different or with whom we disagree, has long been a very human enterprise. It starts on the playground, continues in school, in community social circles, in religious circles, and in politics.

In today’s chapter, Job’s friend Bill pipes up in the conversation once again, but the gloves have come off. Bill recites a Hebrew wisdom poem that describes “a wicked man.” The poem is filled with descriptions that point directly to Job’s circumstances. Here are a few of the more blatant ones (I’ve changed personal pronouns with [the wicked man] for effect):

“The vigor of [the wicked man’s] step is weakened.” Job’s illness has left him weak and emaciated.

“Terrors startle [the wicked man] on every side.” Job has complained of the terrors and nightmares that have plagued him at night.

“Calamity is hungry for [the wicked man].” In one day, Job had all of his flocks stolen and all of his children died in a storm.

“It eats away [the wicked man’s] skin.” Job’s body is covered in festering sores.

“[The wicked man] is torn from the security of his tent and marched off to the king of terrors.” With his flocks stolen and children dead, Job is left with no financial security and any prospect for a future are non-existent.

“The memory of [the wicked man] perishes from the earth; he has no name in the land.” With Job’s children dead, he will have no descendants to remember him or leave any kind of legacy.

Bill’s accusation is clear: Job is obviously a wicked man.

In the quiet this morning, I am amazed at Bill’s callous poem. The culture of his day held firmly that tragedy and suffering were a sure sign of God’s wrath, and that tragedies and suffering must point to the wickedness of the person suffering from them. For 18 chapters Job has been questioning this premise. The more he does so, the more entrenched his three friends become in their position. The more entrenched his friends become in their position, the more Job becomes entrenched in his. Again, it’s kind of like what I see happening in our culture in which we demonize those who think and believe differently. The more I demonize, the more justified I feel in doing so.

History has revealed to me that this is not a particularly healthy pattern.

My mind, as always, wanders back to the teachings and example of Jesus, who quite regularly humanized and treated with kindness those whom His own culture demonized. This includes who were ethnically different (Samaritans), those who were culturally marginalized (women), those who were religiously demonized (woman caught in adultery), and those who were politically demonized (Romans). The only ones you can arguably say that Jesus demonized were the religious fundamentalists of His own tribe who perpetuated the demonization of all of the others I named. But that’s a stretch. Jesus regularly dined with the religious leaders, was a guest in their homes, and welcomed them into conversation. While His words against their corporate actions was particularly harsh, His interpersonal relationship with them as individuals was kind and gentle.

And so, I end this week committed to personally follow Jesus example, refusing to demonize others. In particular, I want to humanize and treat with gentle and loving-kindness those whom my tribe(s) tend to demonize, even if they demonize me. I find Jesus’ words, beautifully paraphrased by scholar Eugene Peterson, an apt contrast to Bill’s poetic attack on Job:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Matthew 5:43-48 (NIV)

Note: I will be out next week traveling on business.
I will return to publishing new posts on Monday, August 28.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Beyond the Blame

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Beyond the Blame (CaD Job 12) – Wayfarer

“To God belong wisdom and power;
    counsel and understanding are his.”
Job 12:13 (NIV)

This past weekend, I gave a message among my local gathering of Jesus’ followers. I began the message by citing three articles I had randomly come across from my daily perusal of the news. In each case, they spoke of the current epidemic of anxiety in our culture, especially among teenagers and young adults. One of the articles I read discussed the root of this epidemic and suggested that it lies with parents.

For most of human history, children and young adults lived with the stress, anxiety, and insecurity that simply comes from living on this earth. My generation rolls our eyes at young people who are connected to their parents 24/7/365. One meme I recently saw said “my parents didn’t know where I was the entire decade of the 1980s!” It’s funny because it’s true.

I grew up having to learn to cope with naturally stressful situations because I had no choice. If I got a flat tire driving through rural Iowa, I couldn’t call someone. I couldn’t use GPS to figure out where I was or where the nearest farmhouse was. I either changed the tire with the spare in the trunk or started hoofing it until I found a farmhouse and risked knocking on the door of a stranger to ask for help.

Today’s young generations have had the luxury of parents who can and do protect them from every uncomfortable situation as they grow. Parents have gone out of their way to effectively eliminate stress, difficulty, and danger from their children’s lives while taking care of their children’s every need and granting most of their affluent, earthly desires. As these children “adult” they now see any difficulty or natural life stress as inherently bad and something to be avoided at all costs. They expect their adult lives to be as easy as their parents made their childhood and young adult years. In some cases, children refuse to leave home and feel unable to cope independently in a cruel world.

Wendy and I recently had dinner with a friend whose young adult child is walking through an acutely painful stretch of their life journey. The pain results from the actions of another person. As we explored the circumstances and the host of negative consequences that have resulted, the conversation eventually turned to our own respective life journeys. Every one of us could identify painful stretches of our own respective life journeys, and in each case the pain served to produce progress toward personal and spiritual maturity in our lives.

Perhaps the most meaningful and useful life lesson that I have gleaned from the Great Story in my 40+ years of study is the fact that suffering can produce personal and spiritual maturity while lives free of struggle are likely to produce personal and spiritual immaturity. A diverse trio of voices echo this same general principle in the Great Story: Paul in Romans 5:3-5, Peter in 1 Peter 1:6-7, and James in James 1:2-3. Struggle promotes a host of character qualities that lead to wisdom, wholeness, and spiritual maturity.

In today’s chapter, Job continues to struggle with the “why” of his suffering. He wants to know why he is going through this painful stretch of his life journey. He wants to pin the blame on something or someone. In recognizing that an omnipotent God controls all of creation, Job continues to prosecute God as the perpetrator of his circumstances.

What’s fascinating is that Job continues to hold that every event in nature and history is a direct result of God’s willful action. That’s a lot of blame to pin on God in a fallen world in which billions of sinful people have the God-given free will to choose to hurt others, even unwittingly and with the best of intentions.

In the quiet my mind wanders back to our friend’s child and the pain that young adult is experiencing as the result of another person’s actions. I think about the painful events our own daughters have had to navigate and survive in their young adult years. I recognize how those events contributed to growing them up in positive and necessary ways. I think of other friends I know with adult children still living at home unable to cope with life outside of their parents provision and enabling.

There is progress in pain if I move beyond blame.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Jury Box Pondering

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“Remember that you molded me like clay.
    Will you now turn me to dust again?”
Job 10:9 (NIV)

Many years ago, I taught a class on creativity that was based largely on The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. The lessons and exercises in The Artist’s Way were instrumental in my own journey. God used them to bear the fruits of insight, understanding, and spiritual healing in me. In my class, I simply shared them and facilitated their work in others. I was amazed how the creative process allowed some individuals to express, perhaps for the very first time in their lives, traumatic events that had been a giant, suppressed, spiritual block for many, many years.

I have known individuals along my life journey who have had horrid experiences in life whether it was being the victim of a human perpetrator or the victim of an accident or natural disaster. I have observed many different ways in which people cope (or don’t cope) with the suffering. I have heard many different voices work through the stages of grief, or sometimes spiral into a perpetual cycle of despair.

In the previous chapter, Job dreams of a courtroom drama in which he has the opportunity of taking God to court where he can put the Almighty on the stand and make God defend the suffering that Job accuses God of inflicting on him. In today’s chapter, Job continues to play out his mock trial before his three friends. He questions the heavenly defendant, before concluding, in despair, that whether he was guilty or innocent, God appears not to care.

I pondered Job’s prosecution of God this morning as if I was a juror in his improvisational courtroom play.

I don’t fault Job for his anger. He’s walking through the stages of grief like any other human being. But in his line of questioning, I noticed that Job has made some prosecutorial assumptions.

First, Job is assuming that God alone is the perpetrator of his earthly suffering. This is nothing new. We do that to this day. When a branch of my tree fell on the neighbor’s house and went through their roof the insurance company called it an “act of God.”

God gets blamed for a lot of things, but the Great Story (and the Job story) make it clear that the force of evil is also at play in this fallen world. We could spin into a philosophical discussion, of course, but for now I simply acknowledge that it was Satan who accused Job and was the perpetrator of his suffering. I find it ironic that after Satan afflicts Job he disappears in the story. I believe this to be one of evil’s common tactics, to perpetrate suffering and then pin the blame on God.

Job then asks God an interesting question:

“Remember that you molded me like clay.
    Will you now turn me to dust again?”

It’s ironic because it points directly back to the Garden of Eden. After Adam and Eve sin, God explains the consequences of their sin. They will exit the Garden and live in a fallen world where sin holds sway, evil has dominion, and earthly life ends in death:

“By the sweat of your brow
    you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”

In accusing God of turning him into dust again, Job ignores the fact that death, suffering, and the consequences of sin has been humanity’s lot since Adam. Job lives on the same earth I do, in which evil exists and leaves innocent victims in its wake as it pursues power, greed, lust, and pride without regard to the pain, chaos, and death that naturally results. We also live in a fallen world in which rivers flood, hurricanes blow, volcanos explode, earthquakes rock, tornadoes spin, and tree limbs fall through your neighbor’s roof.

In the quiet this morning, I continue to feel for Job’s questions, his pain, the anger he feels in the seeming inequities of his experience. He had been living a pretty blessed existence that fit neatly into the box of his simple, contractual “Santa Clause” theology: “Do good and God blesses you. Do bad and God punishes you.” But my own life journey reveals that to be incongruent with what the Great Story actually reveals and what we experience on this earth.

In the midst of my own (relatively inconsequential) suffering along the way, I’ve had to do my own work through the stages of grief. One of the things that I discovered was that blaming of God for my suffering was actually denial of what God clearly reveals as the realities of life in a fallen, sinful world.

Sometimes you do nothing but good, and they crucify you for it.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

An Observation

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At the highest point along the way,
    where the paths meet, she takes her stand;
beside the gate leading into the city,
    at the entrance, she cries aloud…
Proverbs 8:2-3 (NIV)

I saw an individual the other day in a coffee shop.

I live in a small town, so this person is not strange to me. I know the story. I’ve heard it first hand from this person. I’ve heard other versions of it from this person’s loved ones and friends.

The story reads like a tragedy. Ill-fortune has been this person’s plight. Tragedy seems have followed them on the path, and they have been a victim of circumstance at every turn. Broken relationships lie in their wake along with failed opportunities and countless fruitless attempts at sustained, gainful employment. Addiction, according to the story, has been this persons constant companion though I honestly can’t tell if this is actually true, or if it’s simply a convenient excuse for the chaotic mess of the individual’s life.

In today’s chapter, Lady Wisdom makes clear that she is never hidden. She doesn’t lurk where others can’t find her. She is on the heights where she can bee seen from miles around. She is at the crossroads where traffic is heavy. She is there in public at the gates of the city where everyone passes by. She cries out like a street preacher on his soap box.

Along this life journey, I’ve come to realize that Wisdom is omnipresent. It’s always there for the taking. In every temptation, Wisdom is there to provide good counsel. In every mistake, Wisdom is there with meaningful instruction. In the dark valley of every tragedy, Wisdom is present with guidance and directions towards Light that is waiting just a little further up the road. I’ve not always listened to her, but I’d like to believe that I’ve gotten better at it the further I’ve progressed.

I have observed that Wisdom is never hidden, except for those who are spiritually blind and those who choose to ignore her. Temptations, tragedies, foolish mistakes, and the painful bedlam of our own poor choices are common waypoints on every human being’s life journey. It appears to me that those who listen to Wisdom learn from circumstance and allow these things to inform future thoughts, choices, and behavior. Those who choose to remain blind to her presence and deaf to her words tend to remain in the dark valley with tragedy, excuse and blame as a trio of companions.

Lord, have mercy.

Chapter-a-Day

Maturity and Personal Responsibility

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“What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds ….”
Ezra 9:13a (NIV)

I have a vivid memory from childhood. I was around ten or eleven years old and was embroiled in a competitive neighborhood game of “kick the can.” I don’t know if it’s even played by kids anymore. An empty coffee can was set up in our backyard. One of the neighbor kids was “It” and tasked with protecting the can and tagging anyone “out” who attempted to successfully kick the can before getting tagged. If anyone actually accomplished kicking the can, then all those who had previously been tagged “out” would be free and the game would continue.

I was one of the last chances for all those who had been tagged. I made my approach around the back of the garage and waited for “It” to turn his back. I made my run for the can. I lunged in desperation, executing a feet-first baseball slide to try and avoid the tag. I fell short and was tagged out by my gloating neighbor.

“GOSH DARN IT!” I exclaimed at the top of my lungs.

Only I didn’t say, “Gosh darn it.” I screamed the actual bad phrase, cussing like a sailor in my anger and frustration. Looking up, I saw my father standing on the patio a few feet away coiling the garden hose.

Busted right in front of the judge, jury, and executioner. I was condemned to spend the rest of that glorious summer evening in my room listening to the rest of the neighborhood kids playing outside my window. Desperate, I pleaded the youngest child’s defense.

“But Dad, I’m only repeating what I heard Tim and Terry say! They say it all the time!”

My appeal was summarily denied. There was no mercy for the innocent waif who had been deceived by his elder siblings and led, unknowingly, down the path of sinful exclamations. I trudged up the stairs to my prison cell and an early bedtime like a dead man walking, sure that I had been wronged.

Wendy and I often find ourselves in the fascinating social position of being in a life stage just ahead of many of our friends. As such, we observe our friends parenting children in various stages of personal development from childhood to young adults; stages we’ve already traversed with our girls. I am constantly amazed to watch children develop and go through various stages of maturity.

One of the most critical lessons in personal development is that of taking responsibility for one’s actions. It’s amazing to watch kids in the defensive machinations like my own elder sibling defense (it never works). I have witnessed kids expertly play the excuse, denial, blame, and wrongfully accused strategies with their parents like Grand Master chess players attempting to beat Watson. What’s really interesting to watch is when they finally have to own up to responsibility for their own foolishness, and how they handle it.

In today’s chapter, Ezra and the returning exiles are faced with a social and religious problem. The Hebrews’ faith is unlike any of the local religions practiced by other tribes inhabiting the land. Theirs is a holy, imageless, all-powerful God who seeks obedience, personal responsibility, and moral uprightness. Around them is a plethora of local pagan cults whose worship includes drunkenness, ritual sex and prostitution, child sacrifice, and all sorts of licentious practices. Throughout their history, Hebrew men have intermarried with local women. They soon found themselves participating in the local cults their wives belonged to along with religiously attending to the rituals of their own faith. Eventually, many simply walked away from the faith of their ancestors and assimilated into the local culture

I found Ezra’s prayer of confession and petition is a great example of responsibility. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t point blame. He doesn’t try to minimize. He confesses honestly, takes full responsibility, and places himself at the mercy of the Almighty.

In the quiet this morning I find myself doing a little soul searching. Where in my life am I still playing an adult version of the child-like chess match of excuses, blame, obfuscation, and justification? Where do I need to step up, like Ezra, and confess honestly and forthrightly? What are the areas of life that I need to make a change?

Chapter-a-Day

The Scapegoat

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 Then Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, and confess over it all the iniquities of the people of Israel, and all their transgressions, all their sins, putting them on the head of the goat, and sending it away into the wilderness by means of someone designated for the task. The goat shall bear on itself all their iniquities to a barren region; and the goat shall be set free in the wilderness.
Leviticus 16:21-22

It was a gorgeous summer evening last night. Wendy and I headed to Des Moines as the guest of some fellow Cubs fans for a game between the Iowa Cubs and the Oklahoma City Dodgers. It was one of those nights for our boys of summer. They gave up five runs in the first and then couldn’t manage to get more than a couple of hits the rest of the evening.

As the evening wore on and our defeat became more certain, our section began to find raucous reasons to celebrate little victories. Our friends and ball park neighbors began swapping Cub stories. At some point the conversation turned to the tragic event for all Cubs fans in this generation: the Bartman ball. It was the National League Championship Series and our Cubs were just a few innings away from their first World Series since 1945. A fly ball to left might have been caught by the left fielder but a Cubs fan reached out to catch the ball and the fielder’s attempt at the put out was thwarted. The left fielder went ballistic and cussed out the fan. The crowd turned on the fan as the Florida Marlins scored several runs which turned into a run of victories and the Cubs hopes for a World Series were, once again, tragically thwarted.

The fan in question became the center of ridicule for a nation of Cubs fans. A life-long Cubs fan himself, he was blamed for the team’s tragic end. He had to be escorted from the game and eventually moved away from the region.

In 2011, an ESPN documentary entitle Catching Hell took a long hard look at the incident as a classic example of “scapegoating” in the world of sports. The word “scapegoating” and its legacy come from today’s chapter in Leviticus 16. In the ancient Hebrew sacrificial system, once a year the High Priest would metaphorically place all of the sins of the nation on one goat. That goat was then taken to a barren place in the wilderness and released. The word picture was that the sins, guilt and blame of many was placed on one to be carried away in banishment.

Scapegoating happens in every level of societal systems. There are plenty of examples in the world of sports, and it isn’t just about sports. Children become the scapegoats in families, ceaselessly blamed for everything bad that happens within the system A spouse can be scapegoated within marriage. An employer or employee can become a scapegoat for business woes. A political figure can be scapegoated for the woes of a city, a state, or the nation. It is at the core of fallen humanity. We seek to blame someone else for the ills we experience.

Over a decade later, our discussion of the Bartman ball took on a more civilized and objective tone last night. It wasn’t right. If the left fielder had been strong enough to shrug off the interference and casually return to his position, the game and the season may have ended differently. The discussion turned inward. One of our party admitted that, had they been present, they would very likely have been swept into the sentiment of the crowd. Truth is, we all would.

This morning I’m thinking about my own penchant for scapegoating. I’m pondering ways in which I focus blame on others for painful circumstances in my own life. It’s not fun to admit, but it is, universally, a very human thing to do. Perhaps that’s why God sought to make it part of the Hebrew sacrificial system. We need to be reminded regularly. We need more than a scapegoat. We need a savior. God would address that too…

The next day John [the Baptist] saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!

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featured image from Hartwig HKD via Flickr

 

 

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Taking the Blinders Off

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If any of you sin without knowing it, doing any of the things that by the Lord’s commandments ought not to be done, you have incurred guilt, and are subject to punishment.
Leviticus 5:17 (NRSV)

I received an e-mail from a front-line manager of one of our clients. In a regular report that went to the executive team I had mentioned something that caused an executive Vice-President of the company to question the front-line manager’s handling of one particular circumstance. This caught the manager off guard and caused the manager to feel thrown under the bus. It had never been my intention to do so, and I honestly had not anticipated that my report would create the executive’s concern.

My initial human reaction was defensive. My report was accurate. I said nothing that was untrue. I was only doing my job. I couldn’t have anticipated how the report would be received. Yada, yada, yada…. My excuses did nothing to address the unintended injury. I quickly responded with a sincere apology and I committed to being more aware in the future and to letting the manager know if anything in my future reports might create similar questions.

Along life’s journey, I’ve observed that we often plod along with blinders on, unaware (or unconcerned) how our words and actions may affect others. When confronted, I have noted that our natural human reaction is usually the same as mine in this case: excuse, shift blame, and/or deflect personal responsibility.

Today’s chapter is a list of ways the ancient sacrificial system God established through Moses addressed mistakes we as humans with our blinders on:

  • …and are unaware of it… (vs. 2)
  • …and are unaware of it… (vs. 3)
  • …and are unaware of it… (vs. 4)
  • When you realize your guilt… (vs. 5)
  • When any of you commit a trespass and sin unintentionally… (vs. 14)

The message is clear. Just because I am unaware of something I have done does not excuse me from responsibility for my words and actions. Guilt is not excused by ignorance or self-justification.

This morning as I read, I must confess that I found myself mulling over a few things others have recently said and done that pissed me off. Words and actions that created problems for myself and others. I thought of the human blinders we wear and the way these individuals act unaware, excuse their behavior, shift blame, and avoid responsibility. Then, I remembered the e-mail and my initial reaction to it. I have my own blinders. People are people. We are all guilty of unintended injuries, even to those we love most in this world.

Today I’m thinking of ways I can take the blinders off as I journey through the day. I want to be more aware of my words and my actions, and the potential or their unintended effects.

 

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Chapter-a-Day

The True Spiritual Test

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English: Nathan advises King David
English: Nathan advises King David (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12:13a (NIV)

 

When I was five years old, while on a Christmas Eve sleepover at my grandparents’ house,  I stole all of my siblings’ gift envelopes off of the Christmas tree and hid them in my suitcase. I watched in silence on Christmas day as grandma racked her brain to figure out where those envelopes went. Then, I promptly forgot that my mom would be the one unpacking my suitcase when we got home. I was totally busted. My butt cheeks were rosy from the spanking that quickly followed, the cheeks of my face were quickly stained with tears of remorse as I called grandma to confess my heinous crime and to ask her forgiveness.

 

I learned early that your sins find you out. Having said that, let me readily I admit that it didn’t stop me from sinning. I’ve made plenty of tragic choices since then. I make them on a regular basis, in fact. Along the way, however, I’ve come to realize that hiding, concealing, obfuscating, blaming, and excusing my wrongdoing is both delaying the inevitable and stunting my spiritual growth and development. The further I get in the journey the more readily I’ve embraced my fallibility and shortcomings. I might as well cut to the chase, admit I blew it, and allow everyone to move on.

 

In this morning’s chapter, David is confronted by the prophet Nathan and his illicit affair with Bathsheba, his conspiracy to murder Bathsheba’s husband, and his attempt to conceal his paternity of Bathsheba’s child is revealed in dramatic fashion. David’s response was to quickly confess his wrongdoing and seek God’s forgiveness. It’s a fascinating contrast to David’s predecessor. When the prophet Samuel confronted King Saul of his wrongdoing, Saul excused his behavior and refused to repent of his actions.

 

We all make mistakes. We all make selfish choices that hurt others. The true spiritual test is in how we respond to God and others in the ensuing guilty conscience, or when when we are confronted and exposed.

 

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Chapter-a-Day

The Collateral Damage of Miscommunication

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English: David Attacks the Ammonites (2Sam. 12...
English: David Attacks the Ammonites Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the course of time, the king of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun succeeded him as king. David thought, “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father.

When David’s men came to the land of the Ammonites, the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Hasn’t David sent them to you only to explore the city and spy it out and overthrow it?” So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away.
2 Samuel 10:1-4 (NIV)

This past week I was witness to an unexpected public confrontation. An intoxicated friend publicly confronted another friend regarding a particular past incident. The former blind-sided and blamed the latter for something after it had been poorly communicated via a third party and created projected misunderstanding of intent and consequence. It was messy and awkward and completely unnecessary.

Almost every conflict I’ve ever encountered can be traced back to miscommunication and/or misunderstanding of intentions. So it was for the Ammonites in today’s chapter. David sent his envoys with the purest of intentions, but his intentions were misunderstood and the resulting escalation and conflict claimed the lives of over 40,000 soldiers.

Today I’m mindful of communication and the importance of both speaking and hearing with clarity and discernment. Miscommunication of both words and intent can carry a high price in collateral damage relationally, spiritually, and sometimes even physically. When it comes to those types of price tags, I prefer to be a cheapskate.

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