Tag Archives: Mental Health

Chapter-a-Day

Trauma Bragging and Paul’s Chains

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Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.
Philippians 1:12 (NIV)

There has been a trend of late on social media. Generation Z are those generally born from 1997 to 2012, so individuals around 13-28 year olds today. The trend that has been observed is that of this generation going onto social media and oversharing about the trauma they have or are experiencing in their lives. It’s been dubbed “trauma bragging.” It dovetails with recent scholarship revealing that this “anxious generation” has experienced and is experiencing unprecedented levels of mental health issues. This coincides with Gen Z being the first generation to grow up with smartphones. The first iPhone launched when the oldest of Gen Z turned 10 years old.

I have been curiously following this unfolding conversation. In part, it is because as the elders of Gen Z arrive in their late 20’s they are changing the consumer landscape in major ways. My company, Intelligentics, has been doing customer research for clients for almost 40 years and we are seeing radical shift that impact companies in everything from marketing to sales and customer support.

What has been fascinating for me to observe is that, in general, Generation Z has arguably grown up as the most safe, healthy, and affluent generation in the history of human civilization. Yet they are experiencing record levels of mental health issues and bragging about the trauma of their lives on Tik Tok. I confess that this has me scratching my head, but it also has me desperately trying to understand.

Today, our chapter-a-day trek returns to Paul’s letter to the followers of Jesus in the city of Philippi. We’ve been making our way through Paul’s “prison letters” (e.g. Philemon, Colossians, Ephesians, and Philippians) and Philippians is the only one left.

In each of these “prison letters” Paul references his chains, typically referencing that he is “in chains for Christ.” He does so in today’s chapter, the opening of his letter to the followers of Jesus in Philippi. He also states that his suffering has “served to advance” the Message of Jesus and has had the positive effect of making others more confident in their faith and in sharing it (vss. 12-14). Later in the chapter, Paul makes an astonishing statement, telling the Philippians that it has been “granted” to them to not only believe in Jesus but to “suffer” for Him.

Spiritually speaking, suffering serves a purpose.

Time and time again followers of Jesus are told to respond to suffering with joy, rejoicing, and exultation. Why? Because it is only through suffering that we develop character qualities that are the mark of spiritual maturity and completeness. Qualities such as patience, perseverance, faith, and hope.

And Paul should know, he did a little trauma bragging himself in his second letter to the Corinthians. Paul lists being shipwrecked (three times), spending a day and a night floating helplessly in the open sea, whipped to the point of death (five times), beaten with rods (three times), and stoned and left for dead. Being under house arrest in Rome must have seemed like a cake walk in comparison. I confess, I find myself comparing Paul’s sufferings in my mind with those of Generation Z and their trauma bragging.

And yet, in the quiet this morning, I am reminded that the spiritual principle is the same no matter the relative suffering. I can look back at some seasons of “suffering” in my own life journey at which my current self would love to go back and tell my younger self to grow up. And, that’s kind of the point. As civilization advances, the shape of suffering changes with it. The “suffering” I may have experienced in my own journey pales in comparison to my grandparents who suffered through two world wars and the Great Depression. They suffered things that are as unimaginable to me as Paul’s resume of physical suffering.

Suffering, no matter what it looks like for any individual or any generation, still provides a choice. I can ceaselessly wallow in my suffering, play the victim card to excuse my poor behaviors, and/or try to escape the relative amount of pain I’m feeling in all sorts of unhealthy ways. I can also follow Jesus, who along with Paul, taught that any suffering is a gift, granted to serve a purpose of moving me toward spiritual maturity and the wisdom that comes with it. If only I have the faith to obediently follow Him in the midst of it.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

Chapter-a-Day

Silent and Deadly

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Silent and Deadly (CaD Gal 5) – Wayfarer

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:26 (NIV)

There are mornings on this chapter-a-day journey when I experience synchronicity. Something in the chapter dovetails perfectly with something else that I’ve read, seen, or considered in the recent past. It happened this morning with regard to a commencement address published in the Free Press by Robert Parham, an Assistant Professor at the University of Virginia’s McIntire School of Commerce. Entitled, “To the Class of 2024: You are All Diseased,” it is well worth the few minutes it will take to read it in its entirety.

The following section, in particular, caught my attention:

You live in the wealthiest country in the history of the world, yet you feel economic anxiety. The late Charlie Munger summarized it succinctly: “The world is not driven by greed. It’s driven by envy.” And in this era of instantaneous communication networks and social media, envy has been put into hyperdrive.

But envy has also been transformed and rebranded. Once a deadly sin, it became a virtue. We call it “fairness” (or sometimes “equity”) now and concentrate our attention on all the ways the world is “unfair.” Mostly the ways that lead to others in our peer group having more than us.

The world is unfair. Deeply so. It’s just that you’re the lucky ones. You won the birth lottery.

In today’s chapter, envy makes the list of “works of the flesh” that stand in opposition to the “fruits of the Spirit” that should be increasingly evident in the lives of every follower of Jesus. Envy makes the list along with things like sexual immorality, orgies, witchcraft, and drunkenness. Along my life journey, I’ve observed that it’s much easier for the institutional church to hone in on the ugly, scandalous, and often public sins like being an addict, sexually immoral, or a member of the local Wiccan coven. Envy is a “pretty” sin that gets both overlooked and ignored. I don’t remember one lesson or sermon in 40 years that took a good look at how destructive envy can be to both our spiritual health and our very lives.

If you’ve had your head buried in the sand somewhere, it should be noted that we are living in a culture with epidemic mental health issues in children and young adults. Drug overdoses, suicides, anxiety, and depression have increased to epidemic proportions. Researcher Jonathan Haidt traces this epidemic back to the introduction of the iPhone with a front-facing camera and an app called Instagram. Suddenly, everyone is taking selfies and publicly sharing their lives with the masses hoping to get “likes,” comparing themselves to others, and wanting to become “influencers.” It’s all driven by envy. We don’t compare ourselves to the billions of human beings who would love to live in our affluent sneakers. We compare ourselves to those few who have more than us: more likes, more fame, more followers, more money, more fashionable clothes, more prestige, more influence, prettier homes, cuter kids, etc.

I think we’re overdue in giving envy the attention it deserves. It is destroying the spiritual and mental health of an entire generation. The institutional church is silent on the subject.

I confess to you that one of the reasons that this topic resonates so deeply within me is because I have always struggled with envy. I didn’t even realize it until I started to really dig into my own flaws and weaknesses as an adult. One of the things I recognized in myself was the fact that I would feel intense antipathy, even hatred, towards certain people. In most cases, it was people I didn’t even know personally. As I confessed this and began digging into why I had these intensely negative feelings towards people I didn’t even know (and were probably really nice people), I realized that underneath it was envy. I wanted to experience the fame, influence, popularity, and prosperity these individuals had experienced. It was silly. It was nonsense. I feel awkward even admitting it, but it’s the truth. I had to repent of my attitude and address the envy that had crept into my heart and brain, silently influencing me for years without me recognizing it.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself grateful for the abundant blessings I enjoy every moment of every day without even thinking about it or stopping to recognize how good I have it. I am reminded of the unhealthy ways envy affected my life without me even recognizing it. I am motivated to continue to reduce the influence that the “works of the flesh” had in my life and increase the “fruits of the Spirit” in my motivations, my thoughts, my words, and my actions.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

A Prescription for Anxiety

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A Prescription for Anxiety (CaD Php 4) – Wayfarer

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

According to the news, a record number of people are struggling with anxiety, especially teenagers and young adults. Teens are experiencing a mental health crisis. Wendy and I were talking about this recently as we read the latest statistics. We discussed how teens today face a daily paradox. Never have teenagers had so much information instantaneously at their finger tips, and at the same time our culture is telling them to question the most basic of truths. In addition, a teen today has to constantly monitor their words, thoughts, and opinions in school, in public, and on social media to avoid the threat of being socially attacked and cancelled. Add a couple of years of quarantine and isolation into the mix and there’s no wonder anxiety is rampant.

Philippians 4:6-7 were among the first verses I memorized when I was a teen. I would would quote it to myself all the time. I sometimes wrote the words on a piece of paper and stuck it in my pocket, so that whenever I reached into my pocket and felt the paper, I would be reminded of them. To this day, I have the words hanging on the wall inside my office.

One of the things I came to love about Paul’s words to the Philippians is that it doesn’t simply say “don’t be anxious.” Paul provides both a prescribed process and a promise as an antidote to anxiety.

First, Paul prescribes that I talk about my anxiety with God. I learned that I need to get things out. My favorite method of dealing with my deepest anxieties is to write my prayer as a letter to God. I pour my concerns, worries, and anxious thoughts onto the page. I hold nothing back. I plead for my needs and ask for the Spirit’s peace and protection over my mind and soul.

Next, I take up Paul’s reminder to be thankful no matter my circumstances. I am blessed in so many ways. I have so much for which to be thankful. Anxiety leads me to focus myopically on my troubles. The conscious act of counting my blessings and specifically being thankful for them gives me much needed perspective.

If and when I follow this prescription on a regular basis, I experience the promised peace. It causes me to shift-focus from my circumstantial anxieties to God’s sufficiency.

In the quiet this morning, I am thankful for these verses and how they have helped me navigate many, many times of anxiety on this life journey. I feel for young people today and the anxieties we as a society have produced for them. It saddens me that our go-to answer is always a medication. I am glad that I learned a prescription for anxiety as a teenager that cost nothing, didn’t require insurance, and had no negative side effects. All I had to do was faith-fully follow the prescription on a regular basis, and it began with me memorizing these words until they became a part of me:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Dark Places

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Dark Places (CaD Ps 88) – Wayfarer

For my soul is full of troubles,
    and my life draws near to Sheol.
Psalm 88:3 (NRSVCE)

I found it ironic this morning that in the very midst of the holiday season my chapter-a-day journey would bring me to perhaps the darkest song we will encounter in this anthology of ancient Hebrew song lyrics. As we reach the end of 2020, mental health experts have warned that social isolation, fear, anxiety, and depression created by the pandemic will have long-term effects. Just a few weeks ago it was reported that San Francisco has had more deaths by drug overdose in 2020 than Covid deaths. It is clear that many people are finding themselves in dark places mentally, emotionally, and spiritually right now.

One of the things that I’ve come to appreciate about the Great Story is that it doesn’t gloss over the darkness that is experienced on this earthly journey. In fact, what I have found in the 40 years that I’ve been studying it is that suffering is consistently presented as an essential ingredient in spiritual development, formation, and maturity. I’m reminded of our landscaper telling Wendy and me not to be too generous in giving water to our newly planted trees and shrubs. “They need to suffer a little bit,” he said, “even if it looks like they’re struggling you want to force them to push their roots deep into the soil. It will ultimately make them stronger and healthier.”

The liner notes of Psalm 88 attribute the lyrics to Heman the Ezrahite, who was well-known as a Hebrew sage in the days of Solomon. If the song is at all biographical, then Heman had a rough life. There is no uplifting statement of faith or hopeful assurance like those found in the darkest of King David’s songs. There is darkness, the pit of despair, the loneliness of being a social outcast, and the ever-nearness of death. If you’re an angst-filled teenager or a melancholy Enneagram Type Four, then you’ll love wallowing in the gloom as Heman pens “the Darkness is my closest friend.” It is part of the human experience to attribute life’s difficulties with divine wrath, retribution, or judgment.

It’s easy to overlook, however, that the lyrics quite purposefully state that the person is still praying morning (vs. 13), noon (vs. 9), and night (vs. 1). He is struggling through the darkness, blaming his troubles on the God to whom he continues to cry out, to pray, and to seek. As I meditated on this fact, God’s Spirit brought two other passages to mind:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Psalm 139:7-12 (MSG)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

In the quiet this morning I find myself reflecting on the difficulties we’ve all experienced in 2020. On this life journey, I’ve observed that every person treks through dark places when the last thing I want to hear is a cheery “Buck up little camper” or some over-spiritualized encouragement. As an Enneagram Four, I’m given to wallowing in the melancholy. In my own life journey, like Heman the Hebrew Sage, I’ve found myself in those stretches just continuing to press on in seeking, stretching, crying out morning, noon, and night.

Jesus told His followers that He was “the vine” and His Father was “the gardener.” From my current waypoint on life’s road, I can look back and see how in the darkest stretches of my life journey the Gardner was present, watching over me, pruning, and prodding: “Keep thirsting. Dig those roots deep into the soil. That’s where you’ll find Living Water.”

Chapter-a-Day

“Centering Down”

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"Centering Down" (CaD Ps 87) – Wayfarer

As they make music they will sing,
    “All my fountains are in you.”
Psalm 87:7 (NIV)

Just this last week there was news from the Gallup organization regarding an annual survey of mental health in America comparing respondents in 2020 to 2019. Given the tumultuous year we’ve experienced on almost every front, I’d expect the mental health of Americans to be strained. It was. The percent of individuals who rated their mental health as “excellent” dropped in every demographic presented in the data except one. Those who attended weekly religious services saw the only increase in the number of respondents who rated their mental health as “excellent.” Comparatively, there were double-digit declines of those who said they never or irregularly attended religious services.

A couple of weeks ago, Laine Korver was my guest on the Wayfarer Weekend Podcast and we talked about spiritual formation. I mentioned in that episode a brief period of time when I served among a local gathering of Jesus followers in the Quaker (a.k.a. the Society of Friends) tradition. It was fascinating for me because I had zero experience with the tradition and I quite honestly had a number of divergent theological views. Still, it turned out to be a great experience.

In the Friends tradition, regular “weekly meetings” (as they refer to what most churches would call a worship service) are held in silence. There is no order of service. In the silence, participants spiritually “center down.” In all of the traditions I’ve experienced as a follower of Jesus, it was the first time I’d experienced the practice of silence as a regular spiritual discipline. It was powerful, and I learned a lot during that stretch of my spiritual journey about my soul’s need for quiet.

Today’s chapter, Psalm 87 is a short song celebrating Jerusalem, or Mount Zion, which the ancient Hebrews believed was the center of God’s presence on earth and the cosmos. It is unique within the anthology we call the book of Psalms. It prophetically pictures the people from all of the nations coming to Jerusalem and acknowledging God, which parallels similar scenes in John’s Revelation.

What is also important about Psalm 87 is where it was placed by the editors who compiled the anthology. It is “centered” between four laments, two on each side. The bookends to Psalm 87 contain both a personal lament and a community lament expressing times of distress and as I’ve mentioned in previous posts the “center” is where the Hebrew songwriters tended to place what they believed was of key importance. By placing this call to God’s presence sandwiched between four laments the editors were metaphorically calling me as a reader to “center down” and come to God’s presence in the midst of my distress, both personal distress, and community/national distress. What I will find there, the song’s final line tells me is God’s “fountain” or “spring.” I couldn’t help but think of Jesus’ words:

“Everyone who drinks [water from this well] will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” John 4:13-14 (MSG)

I find myself once again centering down in the quiet again this morning. It’s where I experience the flow, the spring, the spiritual fountain even in the middle of life’s distresses.

My mental health is excellent, thanks.

Chapter-a-Day

Steering Out of Unhealthy Ruts in Life’s Road

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The Road to Home
Familiar ruts (Photo credit: Universal Pops)

Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.
Psalm 116:7 (NIV)

There is an ebb and flow to life. Things cycle. Relationships repeat familiar refrains. We often wander thoughtlessly from day to day, then wake from a daydream to realize that we are in the same place we’ve been before. If you’ve noticed, our life journeys follow patterns of our own unconscious making. Like tires that slip easily into the well worn ruts of a dirt road, we slip into well worn patterns of thought and behavior.

Over the past few days I’ve found myself in an emotional valley. I recognize this place. I’ve been here many times before. I’ve come to know that the depth of winter is a difficult seasonal stretch of the journey for me. Short, gray days give way to long, dark nights. The holiday hoopla is over and with it comes a certain physical, emotional and relational hangover. My subconscious links familiar sensory stimuli to painful memories of seasons past. With my guard down, anticipation for the year ahead is lined with an uncertainty that easily lends itself to anxiety and fear. Ugh. Back in the rut.

I ran into the above verse this morning and I heard in it the whisper of the Spirit calling gently to my soul. Return to the rest God has for me in healthy paths and patterns. I have learned from experience that the first step in progressing out of unprofitable emotional or behavioral ruts is to recognize that I’m in it. Once aware of the situation, it takes a conscious resolve to steer out of the rut, which may require an initial jolt of personal effort and energy:

  • Replace: Combat negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
  • Replenish: Do one tangible thing each day to show care for myself.
  • Refresh: Do something loving and unexpected for someone else.
  • Relate: Make time with friends and family who will encourage and fill my life and love tank.
  • Return: to familiar, healthy patterns and paths that have led to good places in the past.
  • Remind: myself daily. Without conscious attention, I easily slip back into mindless, unhealthy ruts.
  • Repeat: There are cycles and patterns to life. Healthy, positive ruts will not made by doing things once, but many times over and over and over again.
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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 1

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Raod to Pangong Tso 1
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“Before I shaped you in the womb,
   I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
   I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations—
   that’s what I had in mind for you.”
Jeremiah 1:5 (MSG)

A friend called and left a message on my phone yesterday. The words were a typical voice mail message, but the tone of my friend’s voice said something completely different:

  • “I’m down“
  • “I’m tired“
  • “The weight of the world is on my shoulders“

When I finally spoke to my friend in person, I discovered the reason for his depressed tone. He fiinds himself walking a leg of the journey that has suddenly become difficult with an overload of cares. Over a few short days his financial stress, work stress and relational stress have skyrocketed from normal to off the charts difficult.

As we talked it through, we came to the same conclusion from our previous experiences. These perfect storms of life are cyclical. We all encounter these times in the journey when seemingly everything goes wrong at once. We get through them. The momentary circumstances change, and the seemingly unmanageable stress of the moment fades.

Perspective is a good thing. Big picture helps put our temporary tunnel vision in perspective. Today I’m reminded that God knew us before we were a glint in our parents’ eyes. He has a master plan for our entire journey.

Don’t get tripped up by the tough road you’re walking today. Look out at the horizon. Press on.

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