Tag Archives: Excuse

Trauma Bragging and Paul’s Chains

July 3, 2025 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.
Philippians 1:12 (NIV)

There has been a trend of late on social media. Generation Z are those generally born from 1997 to 2012, so individuals around 13-28 year olds today. The trend that has been observed is that of this generation going onto social media and oversharing about the trauma they have or are experiencing in their lives. It’s been dubbed “trauma bragging.” It dovetails with recent scholarship revealing that this “anxious generation” has experienced and is experiencing unprecedented levels of mental health issues. This coincides with Gen Z being the first generation to grow up with smartphones. The first iPhone launched when the oldest of Gen Z turned 10 years old.

I have been curiously following this unfolding conversation. In part, it is because as the elders of Gen Z arrive in their late 20’s they are changing the consumer landscape in major ways. My company, Intelligentics, has been doing customer research for clients for almost 40 years and we are seeing radical shift that impact companies in everything from marketing to sales and customer support.

What has been fascinating for me to observe is that, in general, Generation Z has arguably grown up as the most safe, healthy, and affluent generation in the history of human civilization. Yet they are experiencing record levels of mental health issues and bragging about the trauma of their lives on Tik Tok. I confess that this has me scratching my head, but it also has me desperately trying to understand.

Today, our chapter-a-day trek returns to Paul’s letter to the followers of Jesus in the city of Philippi. We’ve been making our way through Paul’s “prison letters” (e.g. Philemon, Colossians, Ephesians, and Philippians) and Philippians is the only one left.

In each of these “prison letters” Paul references his chains, typically referencing that he is “in chains for Christ.” He does so in today’s chapter, the opening of his letter to the followers of Jesus in Philippi. He also states that his suffering has “served to advance” the Message of Jesus and has had the positive effect of making others more confident in their faith and in sharing it (vss. 12-14). Later in the chapter, Paul makes an astonishing statement, telling the Philippians that it has been “granted” to them to not only believe in Jesus but to “suffer” for Him.

Spiritually speaking, suffering serves a purpose.

Time and time again followers of Jesus are told to respond to suffering with joy, rejoicing, and exultation. Why? Because it is only through suffering that we develop character qualities that are the mark of spiritual maturity and completeness. Qualities such as patience, perseverance, faith, and hope.

And Paul should know, he did a little trauma bragging himself in his second letter to the Corinthians. Paul lists being shipwrecked (three times), spending a day and a night floating helplessly in the open sea, whipped to the point of death (five times), beaten with rods (three times), and stoned and left for dead. Being under house arrest in Rome must have seemed like a cake walk in comparison. I confess, I find myself comparing Paul’s sufferings in my mind with those of Generation Z and their trauma bragging.

And yet, in the quiet this morning, I am reminded that the spiritual principle is the same no matter the relative suffering. I can look back at some seasons of “suffering” in my own life journey at which my current self would love to go back and tell my younger self to grow up. And, that’s kind of the point. As civilization advances, the shape of suffering changes with it. The “suffering” I may have experienced in my own journey pales in comparison to my grandparents who suffered through two world wars and the Great Depression. They suffered things that are as unimaginable to me as Paul’s resume of physical suffering.

Suffering, no matter what it looks like for any individual or any generation, still provides a choice. I can ceaselessly wallow in my suffering, play the victim card to excuse my poor behaviors, and/or try to escape the relative amount of pain I’m feeling in all sorts of unhealthy ways. I can also follow Jesus, who along with Paul, taught that any suffering is a gift, granted to serve a purpose of moving me toward spiritual maturity and the wisdom that comes with it. If only I have the faith to obediently follow Him in the midst of it.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

Chapter-a-Day

An Observation

February 25, 2020 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

At the highest point along the way,
where the paths meet, she takes her stand;
beside the gate leading into the city,
at the entrance, she cries aloud…
Proverbs 8:2-3 (NIV)

I saw an individual the other day in a coffee shop.

I live in a small town, so this person is not strange to me. I know the story. I’ve heard it first hand from this person. I’ve heard other versions of it from this person’s loved ones and friends.

The story reads like a tragedy. Ill-fortune has been this person’s plight. Tragedy seems have followed them on the path, and they have been a victim of circumstance at every turn. Broken relationships lie in their wake along with failed opportunities and countless fruitless attempts at sustained, gainful employment. Addiction, according to the story, has been this persons constant companion though I honestly can’t tell if this is actually true, or if it’s simply a convenient excuse for the chaotic mess of the individual’s life.

In today’s chapter, Lady Wisdom makes clear that she is never hidden. She doesn’t lurk where others can’t find her. She is on the heights where she can bee seen from miles around. She is at the crossroads where traffic is heavy. She is there in public at the gates of the city where everyone passes by. She cries out like a street preacher on his soap box.

Along this life journey, I’ve come to realize that Wisdom is omnipresent. It’s always there for the taking. In every temptation, Wisdom is there to provide good counsel. In every mistake, Wisdom is there with meaningful instruction. In the dark valley of every tragedy, Wisdom is present with guidance and directions towards Light that is waiting just a little further up the road. I’ve not always listened to her, but I’d like to believe that I’ve gotten better at it the further I’ve progressed.

I have observed that Wisdom is never hidden, except for those who are spiritually blind and those who choose to ignore her. Temptations, tragedies, foolish mistakes, and the painful bedlam of our own poor choices are common waypoints on every human being’s life journey. It appears to me that those who listen to Wisdom learn from circumstance and allow these things to inform future thoughts, choices, and behavior. Those who choose to remain blind to her presence and deaf to her words tend to remain in the dark valley with tragedy, excuse and blame as a trio of companions.

Lord, have mercy.

Chapter-a-Day

The True Spiritual Test

May 14, 2014 Tom Vander Well 4 Comments

English: Nathan advises King David (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12:13a (NIV)

When I was five years old, while on a Christmas Eve sleepover at my grandparents’ house, I stole all of my siblings’ gift envelopes off of the Christmas tree and hid them in my suitcase. I watched in silence on Christmas day as grandma racked her brain to figure out where those envelopes went. Then, I promptly forgot that my mom would be the one unpacking my suitcase when we got home. I was totally busted. My butt cheeks were rosy from the spanking that quickly followed, the cheeks of my face were quickly stained with tears of remorse as I called grandma to confess my heinous crime and to ask her forgiveness.

I learned early that your sins find you out. Having said that, let me readily I admit that it didn’t stop me from sinning. I’ve made plenty of tragic choices since then. I make them on a regular basis, in fact. Along the way, however, I’ve come to realize that hiding, concealing, obfuscating, blaming, and excusing my wrongdoing is both delaying the inevitable and stunting my spiritual growth and development. The further I get in the journey the more readily I’ve embraced my fallibility and shortcomings. I might as well cut to the chase, admit I blew it, and allow everyone to move on.

In this morning’s chapter, David is confronted by the prophet Nathan and his illicit affair with Bathsheba, his conspiracy to murder Bathsheba’s husband, and his attempt to conceal his paternity of Bathsheba’s child is revealed in dramatic fashion. David’s response was to quickly confess his wrongdoing and seek God’s forgiveness. It’s a fascinating contrast to David’s predecessor. When the prophet Samuel confronted King Saul of his wrongdoing, Saul excused his behavior and refused to repent of his actions.

We all make mistakes. We all make selfish choices that hurt others. The true spiritual test is in how we respond to God and others in the ensuing guilty conscience, or when when we are confronted and exposed.