Tag Archives: Fear

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day John 20

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That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. John 20:19 (NLT)

The religious leaders of Jerusalem had conspired and in less than 24 hours they had apprehended, tried and executed Jesus. If they were so intent on killing their master, it would make sense for them to go after Jesus’ core disciples as well. They could make a clean sweep and be rid of this pesky sect that had caused so many headaches for them.

It is not surprising that Jesus’ followers were shut up behind locked doors fearing for their lives. They had nothing with which to defend themselves. They were uneducated men from the rural Galilee region in the north. They had no money, no political power, and they were in grief over the death of their master. They had alway depended on Jesus to lead them and tell them where they were going and what they should do. Now, they were distraught, afraid, leaderless and utterly without direction or hope.

So, what happened over the course of the following six weeks that changed this fearful, directionless, uneducated lot into a fearless, impassioned, articulate group of men boldly standing up in public to proclaim that Jesus was alive? In fact, all twelve would eventually spread out around the known world to experience persecution, torture and death in order to share with others the story of Jesus, His death and His resurrection.

Today I’m thinking about the fact that following Jesus and experiencing a relationship with Him results in changed lives. Death becomes life. Hate becomes love. Bitterness becomes forgiveness. Selfishness becomes selflessness. Prejudice becomes grace. I see that change in the story and testimony of Jesus’ first followers. I’ve seen it in countless others. I’ve experienced it in my own life, and I pray to experience increasingly more each day.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day John 14

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“No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” John 14:18 (NLT)

Last weekend Wendy and I were in a production at the local community center. As part of the development of our roles each actor in the play was required to create a character study. The director then printed edited versions of the character studies and hung them in the gallery for audience members to peruse during intermission. As I was getting the gallery ready before the performance of Sunday’s matinee one of my fellow actors was reading through all of the character studies.

“It’s interesting,” he said, “how many of these characters had fathers who were missing or dead.” Sure enough, a majority of the actors had written that their character’s father was unknown, dead or had abandoned them.

Along the journey I’ve come to recognize just how large of a hole is torn in one’s soul when a child feels or is abandoned by their father. The effects go deep and are long lasting. I had to ask myself how many of the actors in the show last weekend were projecting their own personal pain into that of their characters.

I don’t think I’ve appreciated how this profoundly personal issue is intertwined in Jesus’ story. Jesus makes a point of telling His followers that He is not abandoning them, even as He prepares to be taken from them for execution. Despite what they may think, feel, perceive and experience in the coming days, they are not abandoned – they are not orphaned. Jesus even encouraged His followers with these words less than 24 hours before He Himself would take on the sins of the world, suffer a cruel death and cry out from the cross “My God, why have you abandoned me?”

Today as I prepare to observe Jesus’ betrayal, death and resurrection in the coming weekend, I’m struck that the core human fear of abandonment is woven throughout the story. I’m also reminded that while the scars of abandonment run deep they are not lethal, nor inevitable, nor impervious to healing. Addressing and healing, once and for all, the pain of abandonment is at the core of why Jesus came to us in the first place.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Mark 13

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“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.” Mark 13:32 (NLT)


I could not help this morning but be reminded of a few months ago when an obscure, quack pot preacher named Harold Camping predicted the end of the world on May 22 and,  because of a national billboard campaign, it became national news. He’d made the prediction before and was just as wrong. Just last year the news was all about the fact that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 and, spurred on by a Hollywood movie that picked up on the storyline, everyone was predicting the world’s end.

Throughout my journey I’ve witnessed several doomsday predictions. Hal Lindsey‘s book 1983 Countdown to Armageddon was a big seller. I lived through 1984 when George Orwell‘s famous book of the same title created all sorts of doomsday talk. I lived through Y2K and the craziness of people stockpiling food and supplies for the apocalypse that was predicted. The Camping incident and the 2012 nonsense are just two more in a long string of doomsday predictions. As humans we tend to be obsessed with apocalypse. Knowing that, the news media loves to play into those base human fears.

Here is my easy three step guide for responding to end-of-the-world predictions. This is based on two very simple observations and one crucial teaching Jesus made:

  1. Doomsday will eventually happen. Don’t kid yourself.
  2. No one has inside information when it will be. Not even Jesus Himself. Period.
  3. We don’t need to be afraid: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:26 (NLT) “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28 (NLT)
Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Mark 9

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The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (NLT)

Of all the people I’ve met in my journey through the scriptures, I sometimes think that I most identify with the man who uttered these words in today’s chapter. This is a person in process. This is a guy struggling on a faith journey of his own. Like a child playing “Mother, May I?” the man is beckoned to take one giant faith-step forward, only to seek Jesus’ permission to do so.

“Jesus, can you?!”

Shackled by years of enduring his son’s torturous suffering, every possible opportunity to finding a cure or relief had ended in abyssmal failure. Every hope he had of finding a cure for his boy had proven to have been a false hope. The man’s soul had scabbed over with layer upon layer of doubt, grief, anger, sorrow and eventually despair. It is no wonder that the man struggled. His step of faith left him straddling a precipice of contradiction. One foot crossed over and stood in faith that Jesus could accomplish what no one else had been able to do, the other foot remained mired in the experienced reality of dashed hopes, broken promises and unrealized expectations.

I picture the man straddling the void and I think to myself: “that’s me.” How often have I desired to step out in faith only to be held back by the layers of doubt, fear, and failure that have built up on my own soul?

Today, I am once again uttering this man’s humble prayer. I believe, but Jesus will you please help me with my unbelief?

 

“I’m hanging in the balance of the reality of man,
Like every sparrow fallen, like every grain of sand.”
– Bob Dylan

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Ezra 10

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Ezra Kneels in Prayer (Ezr. 9:1-15)
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Ezra wept, prostrate in front of The Temple of God. As he prayed and confessed, a huge number of the men, women, and children of Israel gathered around him. All the people were now weeping as if their hearts would break. Ezra 10:1 (MSG)

“Who wants to go first?”

I remember the feeling when a teacher or leader would ask that back when I was a child. It’s not so different today in corporate meetings. No one likes to be the first. There’s fear of humiliation. There’s fear of being alone. There’s fear of embarrassing yourself. We live with such a herd mentality, wanting to appear “normal” like everybody else. We call it “peer pressure” and talk a lot about it when we’re young. My experience is that it doesn’t really change with time. There’s just as much conformity as adults.

Sometimes it takes just one person stepping out to make a difference. Ezra’s public act of repentence and contrition started the avalanche, but it took Ezra’s courage to act in front of his family, friends and peers.

Today, I’m thinking about my own conformity. I’m asking in what ways I may be fearfully ignoring God’s question: “Who will go first?”

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Ezra 4

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So these people started beating down the morale of the people of Judah, harassing them as they built. They even hired propagandists to sap their resolve. They kept this up for about fifteen years, throughout the lifetime of Cyrus king of Persia and on into the reign of Darius king of Persia. Ezra 4:4-5 (MSG)

Through much of this life’s journey, I have found myself in different positions of leadership. From safety patrol captain in the 6th grade to student government and on to various minor positions of church, business, and civic leadership. With a natural bent to being a people pleaser, one of the most difficult and crucial lessons I’ve had to learn is that any worthwhile project you undertake will be criticized. For almost every opinion and proposal that you submit there will emerge a voice of criticism.

Aesop taught us in his fable of the tortoise and the hare that the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep running. God’s Message tells us time and time again to keep pressing on. I can only imagine what is must have been like for Zerubbabel and the folks as, for 15 years, they daily went about the work of rebuilding the temple to the incessant criticism, taunts and threats of their critics and the thugs they hired for backup.

Today, I think about the projects on which I am engaged and the obstacles I face internally, spiritually, and publicly. Over time I like to think that I have gained some wisdom to discern which criticisms I should heed and which criticisms I should completely ignore. What I do know is that the criticism of others will always be there and if I let it paralyze me then I will accomplish nothing. All I can do is to  be faithful to keep pressing on through this new day that is dawning and apply myself diligently to that which I am called to accomplish.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Ezra 1

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In the first year of Cyrus king of Persia—this fulfilled the Message of God preached by Jeremiah—God prodded Cyrus king of Persia to make an official announcement throughout his kingdom. Ezra 1:1-3 (MSG)

As I write this post, the newspaper headlines and 30 second sound-bytes are all depressing. The economy refuses to recover. The government can’t get anything done. Europe is sinking under the weight of debt. The U.S. is not far behind. Young people can’t find jobs even as companies report a shortage of qualified, experienced workers. I just heard about another round of lay-offs locally. It is said that the standard of living of the average American has now fallen to what it was in the 1970s.

I grew up in the 70s. Watergate, Vietnam, Carter, oil embargo, 55 mph national speed limit, hostages, disco and leisure suits.

[sigh]

Amidst all of this depressing news, One is apt to wonder where God is in all of this. I imagine those in exile in Babylon felt much the same way. Torn from their homes, enslaved, and hauled off to live in a foreign land to work for a foreign tyrant. “God, where are you? What are you doing?”

Then I read that God, as prophesied by Jeremiah, moved Cyrus the King of Persia to rebuild God’s temple in Jerusalem and send people and materials for the task. A small gesture, maybe, but one that gave life and hope to a depressed and hopeless people.

Today, my heart is lightened by the reminder that God is not idle. Times and events, kings and kingdoms, leaders and movements, are still in His hand. This journey is continuing toward a destination of His grand design. He bids me not to be anxious about tomorrow, but to be content and faithful in this one day that I’m given.

He’ll take care of the rest.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 20

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The officers will then continue, “And is there a man here who is wavering in resolve and afraid? Let him go home right now so that he doesn’t infect his fellows with his timidity and cowardly spirit.” Deuteronomy 20:8 (MSG)

When I was a kid, my family was into swimming. My siblings and I swam competitively. My sister was a diver. We played water polo. Our vacations were spent on a lake skiing and swimming. We were lifeguards and helped with water safety instruction. From the age of eight until my late teens, I lived in a pool year round.

But being a swimmer didn’t start well for me. When I was seven or so, I was deathly afraid of the pool. I still remember going to swim lessons and being encouraged to swim across the width of the pool, in the deep end where my feet couldn’t touch, for the first time. I was paralyzed by fear. I cried. I screamed. No matter how much my instructors assured me that they would help me if I struggled, I had convinced myself that I couldn’t do it. As I recall, I had to go home that day. It would be another few days before I worked up the courage to make my first deep water swim.

I thought of that moment when I read the instructions in today’s chapter regarding fear. I understand why those who were afraid were told to go home. Fear is both crippling and contagious. When any group faces a challenge or an obstacle, they have got to believe that they can accomplish the task before them. Often, there is a very thin line between faith and doubt. When one member of the team broadcasts their fear and lack of faith, it quickly becomes viral. When that happens, defeat is almost always assured.

Today, I’m reminded that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 21

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Finally, all the leaders of that town that is nearest the body will wash their hands over the heifer that had its neck broken at the stream and say, “We didn’t kill this man and we didn’t see who did it. Purify your people Israel whom you redeemed, O God. Clear your people Israel from any guilt in this murder.” Deuteronomy 21:6-8 (MSG)

I watched with interest this past Sunday night as my beloved Cubs played the New York Mets. It was the 10th annviersary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and during the pregame memorial service the camera panned across the crowd. There were many hardy New Yorkers, both men and women, who were reduced to tears. Ten years later, the events of that day are still felt deeply in the community.

I grew up in the city and have lived in small towns with populations from 300 to 10,000. It’s interesting to look back at events that affected the collective community. Some of them a very public events like the floods of 1993 that left an entire city without running water for ten days. Even more private tragedies and shameful events, that people don’t care to acknowledge or discuss publicly, can have a tremendous effect on the community as a whole.

In today’s chapter, I found it interesting that God prescribed a very public ceremony in the event of an unexplained, mysterious death. It reminded me that communities, like individuals, sometimes need to experience a period of introspection, acknowledgement, and confession coupled with ritual to seek forgiveness or absolution. When a community fails to process tragedy in a healthy way, the suppression of fear, anxiety, and guilt will surely attach itself to the community in unhealthy ways.

Today, I’m reminded to be aware of and pray for the local community in which I live, and the people around me with whom I carry out daily life.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 13

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You are to follow only God, your God, hold him in deep reverence, keep his commandments, listen obediently to what he says, serve him—hold on to him for dear life! Deuteronomy 13:4 (MSG)

There are days in which life itself doesn’t make much sense. There are days when I read God’s Message and I have more questions than answers. There are days when everything feels adrift. I love that even in the midst of these days, God throws me a life-line like the fourth verse of today’s chapter.

Follow. Press on.
Stay obedient. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Listen. Open both your ears and your heart.
And whatever you do, hold on for dear life!

If there’s anything that 16,565 days on the journey have taught me, it’s to cling to God and press on through days like this.

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