Tag Archives: Deuteronomy 21

Wooden Spoon on the Headboard

[The rebellious son’s parents] shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
Deuteronomy 21:20-21 (NIV)

Looking back, I rarely had to punish Taylor and Madison when they were young. For the most part, they were good girls. Taylor had such a soft heart that I could reduce her to tears with a look of anger and disappointment. Madison, on the other hand, was the quintessential second-born and impervious to most traditional forms of punishment. I had to get creative with that one when it came to finding consequences that communicated effectively.

When they were toddlers, I found that planting the idea of consequences was sometimes an effective tool stemming undesirable behaviors. I have a distinct memory of the two of them refusing to settle down and go to sleep one night after having been warned multiple times. I walked into the room and they immediately went silent and played dead in their beds. I had pleaded and cajoled them in my previous visits. This time, I wordlessly carried a wooden spoon from the kitchen and placed it on the center of the headboard.

I didn’t hear another peep out of them.

Today’s chapter contains what at first glance appears to be a series of disjointed ancient rules and prescriptions for life and community. An unsolved murder, marrying a captive woman, inheritance rights, a rebellious son, and the body of an executed man. Random.

But it’s not random. There is a thread that God through Moses is weaving into the fabric of His people. It’s creating a tapestry that reflects the heart of God.

Life is full of both value and responsibility in community.

An unsolved murder does not absolve the community from responsibility. A ritual of atonement cleanses the community of guilt but also reminded them that if violence occurs near you, you cannot shrug and move on.

When defeating an enemy, a captive woman may be taken as a wife. This was common in the ancient world. What was not common was to treat her with respect. “War,” God is saying, “does not suspend humanity.” She was to be given time to grieve. Shaving her hair and trimming her nails was a refusal to eroticize her trauma. What could easily be a warrior’s lustful desire was required to wait, to cool, to submit to her humanity.

Fathers were not to play favorites with their inheritance. The first born son was the first born son no matter your feelings towards him or his mother. No exemptions for favoritism.

An executed body hanging on a tree (FYI: Paul used this verse to point to Jesus on the cross) was not to hang overnight. There’s something deeply intimate about a God who insists on cleaning up after violence before the sun goes down.

And then there’s the rebellious son. We’re not talking about a teenager who won’t do his chores. We’re not even talking about a Prodigal sowing his wild oats. The text points to something deeply hard-hearted. Not just disobeying mom and dad, but sowing violence, discord, and lawlessness among the community. The penalty? The elders were to stone him to death.

[cue: hard stop] Ugh. This is where the text tightens its grip.

I spent some time chasing this one down the rabbit hole in my meditations this morning. History records that Jewish law interpreted this so narrowly that it was rarely, if ever, enacted. Rabbinic debate treated the “rebellious son” as a warning text, not a procedural one—Scripture meant to sober parents and children alike.

I have often pointed out in these chapter-a-day posts that Moses and the Hebrews are God parenting humanity in the toddler stage of history. In this context, the Rabbis understand that the rebellious son prescriptive was Father God walking into the bedroom with a wooden spoon and placing it on the head board – not to strike, but to warn “this continued behavior will end badly for you.”

God follows the prescriptive with a commonly used phrase in Deuteronomy that they are to “purge the evil from among you.” This is not angry vengeance. It’s cancer surgery. Rebellion that creates chaos will ultimately become terminal to Life and community.

Don’t go there. Don’t allow societal cancer cells to spread.

In the quiet this morning, today’s chapter, and the heart of God communicated within it, remind me:

  • Communities are accountable, not just individuals.
  • Power must slow down long enough to protect dignity.
  • Even judgment must bow to mercy and restraint.
  • No life—living or dead—is disposable.

This calls me to:

  • Take responsibility when I’d rather pass by.
  • Refuse to let strength become entitlement.
  • Choose restraint over indulgence, presence over distance.
  • Remember: God in this chapter is not cold—He is careful with blood, with power, with people.

As I enter another day on my earthly journey, I am reminded that my responsibility to God is not just myself. It extends to my community, and to every other human being with whom I interact.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Favoritism

If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.
Deuteronomy 21:15-17 (NIV)

This morning’s chapter was one of those chapters that require a bit of effort to embrace. Reading various laws concerning a middle-eastern culture thousands of years old doesn’t seem to have immediate relevance to this 21st century, midwestern, American life. And yet, when I step back and look at the underlying principles of the laws, there are definitely some take aways common to the human experience.

Take the verses I pasted above. A guy has two wives and a son with each of them. He loves one wife but not the other. The law said not to play favorites with the sons based on your feelings about their mothers. On the first reading I’m thinking “I don’t live in a polygamous culture. I can’t relate to that.”

Then I start thinking, not about polygamy but divorce and remarriage. I think about the simple act of favoritism within families. I think about children who’ve watched their divorced and remarried parent shower new step siblings with love and affection while they feel unwanted. I think about grandparents who do things for the grandchildren of one son but not for the grandchildren of the other. I  think about how messy parent and child relationships can get.

Yes. Yes, this is relevant to me.

Today, I’m thankful for two amazing daughters and the different, but no less priceless, relationships I have with each. I have tried very hard over the past two and a half decades to live out the idea that favoritism is not avoided by restricting relationship to the rigid borders of absolute relational equity. Rather, favoritism is avoided by choosing into unbridled, expressed love and support for the unique child of God each daughter is becoming communicated through the unique relationship and relational paradigms I have with each of them.

Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 21

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Finally, all the leaders of that town that is nearest the body will wash their hands over the heifer that had its neck broken at the stream and say, “We didn’t kill this man and we didn’t see who did it. Purify your people Israel whom you redeemed, O God. Clear your people Israel from any guilt in this murder.” Deuteronomy 21:6-8 (MSG)

I watched with interest this past Sunday night as my beloved Cubs played the New York Mets. It was the 10th annviersary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and during the pregame memorial service the camera panned across the crowd. There were many hardy New Yorkers, both men and women, who were reduced to tears. Ten years later, the events of that day are still felt deeply in the community.

I grew up in the city and have lived in small towns with populations from 300 to 10,000. It’s interesting to look back at events that affected the collective community. Some of them a very public events like the floods of 1993 that left an entire city without running water for ten days. Even more private tragedies and shameful events, that people don’t care to acknowledge or discuss publicly, can have a tremendous effect on the community as a whole.

In today’s chapter, I found it interesting that God prescribed a very public ceremony in the event of an unexplained, mysterious death. It reminded me that communities, like individuals, sometimes need to experience a period of introspection, acknowledgement, and confession coupled with ritual to seek forgiveness or absolution. When a community fails to process tragedy in a healthy way, the suppression of fear, anxiety, and guilt will surely attach itself to the community in unhealthy ways.

Today, I’m reminded to be aware of and pray for the local community in which I live, and the people around me with whom I carry out daily life.

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