Tag Archives: Confession

Chapter-a-Day

Diagnosis I Didn’t Ask For

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With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.
James 3:9-10 (NIV)

Wendy and I were on our way to worship this past Sunday morning. We were having a conversation about an individual who had made some major mistakes in leadership which led to many painful and widespread consequences.

“They were worthless at the job,” I said as I drove.

“Let’s say they were ‘incapable’ at the job,” Wendy said softly but directly. “No one is ‘worthless.’”

She was so, so correct.

“I’m trying to be more careful about the words I use when speaking of others,” she then added.

I immediately apologized and accepted my error. I need to be more careful with my words.

This episode in the car with Wendy happened amidst the final editing process of my upcoming book. In the process of editing my original manuscript, my editor pointed out a similarly painful observation. She noticed that I at times used harsh language when I wrote about certain individuals I had encountered along my career. She felt it was important enough that she point it out to me.

“I know your heart, Tom,” she said to me. “And, this is not the person you want to be. I knew you’d want me to be honest about what I’m seeing.”

Ugh. I have a blind spot.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Some mornings as I read and meditate on the chapter I have to dig deep to mine what God has for me in the text. Other mornings, it simply jumps off the page and slaps me across the face.

That was this morning.

Most of today’s chapter James focuses on the power of the tongue. It’s such a small part of our physical whole yet it has disproportionate affect. James likens it to the rudder of a ship as it can steer me in the wrong direction. He likens it to a spark that can unleash a wildfire of conflict and controversy I didn’t intend.

As I meditated on it this morning I likened it to a living cardiogram — my words revealing symptoms of heart trouble. Harsh, rash words about others are indicators that bitterness, anger, and contempt have been building up inside like plaque in my spiritual arteries.

And so, I find myself sitting here in the quiet knowing there are some things I need to do.

First, I need to take some time for introspection. I need to ask God to help me take an honest look inside at where some ugly thoughts and feelings about others have been building up inside me.

Next comes confession. As I discover where that build-up of bitterness is hiding and with whom I’m harboring ill-will, I need to use my tongue to honestly speak it out loud to God and members of my inner-circle with whom I know I am safe and am surrounded by love and grace.

Finally, I need to be accountable. A diabetic constantly monitors their blood-sugar to watch for signs of a problem. I need to better monitor my words, especially when I’m speaking about others. Once again, my inner-circle are my best source for that assistance.

I have discovered a problem.
I have been given a prescription.
Now — by grace — I must take the medicine.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Chapter-a-Day

I’ve Never Regretted Being Generous

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And here is my judgment about what is best for you in this matter. Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.
2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (NIV)

Wendy and I quietly reached a milestone in recent weeks. In 2007, we began sponsoring a young girl in Kenya named Nyaguthi through Compassion International. Our small, monthly financial gift helped provide for Nyaguthi and her family’s basic needs along with her education. This was not, however, just a mindless financial transaction. For almost twenty years we have corresponded with Nyaguthi, learned about her life and desires, celebrated her birthday and holidays, and she has likewise gotten to know our family through our letters and photos.

Just a few weeks ago Compassion informed us that Nyaguthi is now finishing up her university education. At 22, she is graduating out of the Compassion program and will launch into finding a job and starting her life journey as an adult. I can’t explain the joy this makes us feel. We’ve watched her grow up. Her photos have been ever-present on our refrigerator. We have and will continue to pray for her.

In today’s chapter, Paul addresses a specific matter with the followers of Jesus in Corinth. The followers of Jesus in Jerusalem were experiencing terrible persecution. Some were being killed. The were being ostracized socially and financially which made life difficult just to manage life’s basic needs. Others were desperate to flee Jerusalem and seek safety in other regions, but lacked the means to do so. Paul and believers in the area of Greece were generously gathering money to send to Jerusalem to help out their spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ.

As I read Paul’s encouragement to the Corinthians to be generous, I was struck by his emphasis on desire. He directly writes that he is not commanding them, twisting their arms, or manipulating them. This is not a televangelist’s trickery of promising God will turn their financial gift into profitable personal gain. He simply appealed to the desire to be generous that he’d witnessed in them the previous year. He appeals to their eager willingness to be generous, to give what they can for others who are in need. Paul goes on to reference what he also wrote about to the believers in Philippi (Philippians 2) regarding Jesus’ example leaving the riches of heaven to become an impoverished human being, that anyone who believes in Him might know the riches of God’s grace and inherit Life both abundant and eternal.

I confess that I was not a generous person as a young man. Generosity has been something that has grown within me as I have grown and matured in God’s Spirit. Wendy has taught me much in both her heart and example. One of the things that I continuously realize and remind myself: I have never, not once, regretted being generous. Not only do I lack any regret, but I look at Nyaguthi’s face on our refrigerator, think of how she’s grown in body, mind, and Spirit over the years, and I feel a surging desire to be more generous. The words “eager willingness” that Paul uses in today’s chapter describes my feelings rather well.

So, in the quiet this morning I am celebrating Nyaguthi’s launch and also thinking about the task Wendy and I have before us of beginning our sponsorship of another child.

I am eager to do so. I have never regretted being generous.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
Chapter-a-Day

When the Rooster Crows

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Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept.
Mark 14:72 (NIV)

I confess, my life journey is dotted with mistakes, poor choices, and moral failures. I’ve made some doozies. Buy me a pint sometime, and I’ll tell you some stories. I assume you have a few stories of your own. I’ve never met a human being who didn’t have them. I have met a million human beings who pretend they don’t.

Today’s chapter tells two of the most epic fails in history. One is Judas, one of The Twelve disciples who betrays Jesus for cash considerations and sends the Son of God to His execution. The other is Peter, Jesus’ own appointed leader of The Twelve, who staunchly voiced his life-or-death commitment to stand faithfully by Jesus’ side no matter what happened. Then, when the prophesied events kick into high gear, Peter reneges on his promise just as Jesus’ predicted.

As I read this story again in the quiet this morning, I pondered the fact that Jesus’ knew The Twelve would abandon Him. It was prophesied by the ancient Hebrew prophet Zechariah, and Jesus quotes it. Jesus even knew the number of times Peter would deny Him and the time that it would happen. Luke adds a dramatic detail that Mark leaves out; The fact that the moment after the third denial when the rooster crows, Jesus was being led away and He looked right at Peter.

Hello Shame, my old friend.

Of course, I know the rest of the story. John shares that after the resurrection, along the very shores of Galilee where Jesus first called Peter to follow Him, Jesus would ask Peter three times to voice his love for Him. Three affirmations of love for three denials. Restoration, redemption, and the launch of a new chapter of Peter’s story.

Even our mistakes and failures are part of the Story. Jesus knew it before Peter even committed his denials.

In the quiet this morning, I can’t help but glance back at my own epic fails. They are a part of my story. They’ve taught me lessons about the depths of my own depravity, my utter need for God’s endless grace, and the blessings of repentance and redemption. Mistakes, poor choices, and moral failures. The truth is that the most important season of my life spiritually was when the rooster crowed for me, and I stopped pretending I didn’t have them.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
Chapter-a-Day

Untold Stories

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Untold Stories (CaD 1 Chr 27) – Wayfarer

Ahithophel was the king’s counselor. Hushai the Arkite was the king’s confidant. Ahithophel was succeeded by Jehoiada son of Benaiah and by Abiathar.
1 Chronicles 27:33-34 (NIV)

I’ll never forget the weekend my father and I made a trip to northwest Iowa to visit my grandfather who was well into his nineties. As we sat around the table with Grandpa V that afternoon, he began to share family stories that my dad and his brother had never heard. They were stories of the issues that had created division in the family and had partially shaped his life. But they had never been talked about.

I find it fascinating the things that people choose to talk about and those they keep secret. What is perhaps even more fascinating are the motivations that drive the silence.

In today’s chapter, the Chronicler continues his lists outlining the reign of ancient Israel’s greatest King, King David. Today’s lists are the Army divisions and their commanders, the tribal leaders, and the overseers of the King’s lands, flocks, vineyards, and storehouses. David definitely had an impressive spread.

At the very end of the chapter, the Chronicler mentions David’s counselor, Ahithophel, and then quickly mentions that Ahithophel was succeeded by Jehoiada. Once again, I find that when reading through these ancient lists the stories are in the exceptions. I always look for things that don’t fit the pattern. In this case, nowhere else in his lists does the Chronicler name someone’s successor. So, what’s up with that?

The story is found in 2 Samuel 15-17. David’s very own son, Absalom, killed his brothers and very nearly succeeded in a coup d’etat to steal his father’s kingdom away. Why? Absalom’s sister had been raped and discarded by their half-brother, the eldest of David’s sons. David, their father, did nothing. When it came to unleashing his coup, Absalom was aided by his father’s own counselor, Ahithophel. When the coup failed and Absalom was dead, Ahithophel committed suicide.

The Chronicler is silent when it comes to this story or any story that might tarnish the memory of the great King David. Some historians argue that the Chronicler’s audience knew these stories well and they didn’t need to be repeated. While that may be true, his readers also knew the stories of David’s mighty men, but he lists them anyway. I think the motivation in the Chronicler’s silence is simply that he wants the history he’s writing to inspire the work of rebuilding and restoring the Temple that was happening in his generation. He was selective in sharing the glorious bits while leaving out the things that might tarnish those memories.

“Every family has bad memories.”
Michael Corleone, Godfather Part III

This morning in the quiet I found myself pondering anew my grandfather’s decades of silence and then his confession late in life. I’m grateful to have been there to hear it, and I’m glad that he shared it. It helped me understand a lot of things about our family and about my grandfather’s life. I don’t, however, know exactly what his motivation was in never talking about it. Perhaps it’s as simple as “letting bygones be bygones.”

I get that there are a million and one “what ifs” depending on the specific skeletons in the family closet. At the same time, I have observed along my life journey that there is a common human desire to understand ourselves, our families, and the things that shaped our life experiences. Knowing the truth, even a difficult-to-hear truth, may very well be a key ingredient in that journey of understanding. I don’t want to rob my descendants of knowing a difficult truth simply to avoid personal shame.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Guilt and Grace

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Guilt and Grace (CaD Hos 10) – Wayfarer

Sow righteousness for yourselves,
    reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
    for it is time to seek the Lord,
until he comes
    and showers his righteousness on you.
But you have planted wickedness,
    you have reaped evil,
    you have eaten the fruit of deception.
Because you have depended on your own strength
    and on your many warriors…
Hosea 10:12-13 (NIV)

“But you don’t know the things I’ve done,” he said to me.

I had simply told the man that God offers grace and forgiveness if he was simply willing to ask for it. He found it hard to believe.

Along my spiritual journey, I’ve found that people don’t need my condemnation. They know their own faults. They know their guilt. They know the things they’ve done, the pain they’ve caused, and they’ve reaped the bitter consequences of their actions.

What the man needed was the grace and forgiveness that he knew he didn’t deserve. If he was willing to receive it, his entire life might be transformed.

In today’s chapter, Hosea continues to proclaim punishment on ancient Israel for their sin. The pronouncement is not a metaphorical mystery. Hosea states it plainly. Israel will be attacked by the Assyrian Empire, she will be laid to waste, and her people will be carried off into exile. Once again, Hosea clearly states the charges against her: Idolatry, rejection of God, and corruption that made the rich richer while the poor and marginalized were oppressed.

As I have mentioned in previous posts/podcasts, I chose to read through Hosea precisely because his prophecies came directly after Amos, the last book we trekked through on this chapter-a-day journey. If anything, Hosea built upon Amos’ prophetic pronouncements. Amos proclaimed that Israel would be taken into exile. Hosea identifies the Assyrians as the nation that would do so. What I find fascinating about Hosea in contrast to Amos, is the continued offering of hope. While Amos pronounces judgement, defeat, and exile with righteous, hopeless anger, Hosea continues to remind his people to repent, return, and sow the righteous ways God prescribed for them. Hosea comforts them with the hope God will yet “come like the rain” to shower His righteousness upon them.

I find Hosea’s approach more true to the heart of God than that of Amos. The grace within judgement prefigures the criminal crucified next to Jesus. The criminal knew he was getting what he deserved, and he knew that Jesus was suffering for sins he’d never committed. He was willing to admit it, and willing to ask simply for Jesus to remember him, to think of him, when Jesus crossed into eternity. That simple willingness to embrace his own humanity and reach out to Jesus’ divinity released a flood of grace, forgiveness, and salvation.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself once again confessing my own sins and embracing my own guilt. Once again, I reach out for Jesus’ grace and forgiveness, which I don’t deserve, but which He freely showers upon me.

Once again, I pray for those I know who are unwilling to do one or both of those things.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Destructive Deference

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Destructive Deference (CaD 2 Ki 16) – Wayfarer

[King Ahaz of Judah] took away the Sabbath canopy that had been built at the temple and removed the royal entryway outside the temple of the Lord, in deference to the king of Assyria.
2 Kings 16:18 (NIV)

I hate conflict. I don’t like difficult situations. I’m sure I’m not alone.

One of the realities of this life journey in this imperfect world is that conflict is unavoidable (not that I haven’t tried to avoid it) as are difficult situations and crucial conversations.

This morning as I sat in the quiet and wrote my Morning Pages, what poured out of me was a string of events, situations, and relationships over many, many. years in which I chose passivity rather than purposed initiative, silence rather than strife, and escape rather than engagement. As the confession rolled off my ballpoint onto the pages I had to acknowledge the collateral damage I caused because of my unwillingness to simply step up to the plate and into the box.

Then, I opened the Great Story and it was as if God had synchronized my confession and the content of today’s chapter.

Ahaz takes the throne of Judah. The political situation in Judah is tenuous. Judah has been squeezed and diminished by enemies on all sides who have whittled away at their territory. Ahaz appears to be the quintessential “pleaser” who caters to everyone. There’s not a god he won’t worship, not a sacrifice he won’t make (even his own child), nor an offering he won’t give to ensure his power and security.

The Arameans and the Northern Kingdom of Israel come to lay siege to Jerusalem, and Ahaz appeals to the ascendant Assyrian Empire for help. Ahaz steals gold and silver from God’s Temple and sends it to the king of Assyria as a gift. When Assyria comes to the rescue, Ahaz visits the Assyrian king. He then sends word to the high priest Uriah back in Jerusalem to build an altar like the Emporer uses for worship and to put it in God’s temple. He orders that God’s temple be altered to be like the one where the Emporer worships. He orders that the worship of God be changed to be like what the King of Assyria does. He does all of this “in deference” to the king of Assyria. Ahaz’s faith was in appeasement. His trust was in the most powerful human protector he could afford.

Along my life journey, I’ve observed that deference can be a noble quality in the right context. However, the twenty-twenty hindsight in my Morning Pages this morning also reveals that I have often used “deference” as a cover and an excuse for my fear. I used it as an excuse for not appropriately confronting people and circumstances when I should have. I leveraged it to rationalize my passive avoidance of crucial conversations. Like Ahaz, my deference has been ultimately destructive.

Mea Culpa.

In the quiet this morning, I am grateful for God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness. No matter how far I get in my spiritual journey, I still have more to learn, more to confess, and more to grow. I can’t do anything to change the mistakes of my past, but I can make different choices and decisions today than those I made before.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Spiritual Test

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The Spiritual Test (CaD 2 Sam 12) – Wayfarer

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12:13a (NIV)

When I was five years old, while on a Christmas Eve sleepover at my grandparent’s house,  I stole all of my siblings’ gift envelopes off of the Christmas tree and hid them in my suitcase. I watched in silence on Christmas day as grandma racked her brain to figure out where those envelopes went. Then, I promptly forgot that my mom would be the one unpacking my suitcase when we got home. I was totally busted. My butt was as rosy as Santa’s cheeks from the spanking that quickly followed. The cheeks of my face were quickly stained with tears of remorse. I called grandma to confess my heinous crime and to ask her forgiveness.

I learned at an early age that your sins find you out. Having said that, let me readily admit that it didn’t stop me from sinning. I’ve made plenty of tragic choices since then. Along my journey, however, I’ve come to realize that hiding, concealing, obfuscating, blaming, and excusing my wrongdoing is both delaying the inevitable and stunting my spiritual growth and development. The further I get in the journey the more readily I’ve embraced my fallibility and shortcomings. I might as well cut to the chase, admit I blew it, and allow everyone to move on.

I’ve been reading the book Seven by Jeff Cook which explores the link between Jesus’ “Beatitudes” and the seven deadly sins. He writes,

“Being poor in spirit is like being part of an AA meeting where all the participants confess openly that their lives have become unmanageable. Poverty in spirit is a conversation over coffee in which tears and regrets and inadequacies cover the table…Those who know they are poor in spirit are blessed because they alone know they need help – and any step toward help must be a step toward community…When we make our hurts and our past and our junk public, we are healed. When we keep them private, it is only a matter of time before they destroy us.”

In this morning’s chapter, David is confronted by the prophet Nathan regarding his illicit affair with Bathsheba and his conspiracy to murder Bathsheba’s husband. His attempt to conceal the fact that he was the father of Bathsheba’s child is revealed in dramatic fashion. David’s response was to quickly confess his wrongdoing and seek God’s forgiveness. It’s a fascinating contrast to David’s predecessor. When the prophet Samuel confronted King Saul with his wrongdoing, Saul excused his behavior and refused to repent of his actions.

We all make mistakes. We all make selfish choices that hurt others. I’ve learned along my life journey that the true spiritual test is in how I respond to God and others in the ensuing shame and guilty conscience, or when my mistakes are confronted and exposed.

 A Note to Readers
I’m taking a blogging sabbatical and will be re-publishing my chapter-a-day thoughts on David’s continued story in 2 Samuel while I’m taking a little time off in order to focus on a few other priorities. Thanks for reading.
Today’s post was originally published in May 2014.

The featured image on today’s post was created with Wonder A.I.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

A Confession

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A Confession (CaD Jud 16) – Wayfarer

Then the Philistines seized [Samson], gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza. Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding grain in the prison. But the hair on his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.
Judges 16:21-22 (NIV)

There is an incredibly powerful scene in The Godfather Part III that seems largely forgotten among the many memorable moments in the epic trilogy. Michael Corleone visits a Cardinal in the Vatican, seeking assistance with a business deal he’s trying to make with the Vatican bank. Michael’s health isn’t good. Between stress and Diabetes, he’s suffering. The Cardinal, however, sees that what is really torturing Michael is the spiritual consequences of a life of violence, crime, deceit, and vanity. He urges Michael to confess.

Over the past couple of weeks, our local gathering of Jesus’ followers has been focused on James 5:16: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” In my experience, confession is rarely discussed, and I find this tragic. Anyone who has made the spiritual journey of The Twelve Steps knows that it begins with admitting we are powerless over our addictions. That’s why every person in a Twelve Step meeting introduces themselves by confessing that they are an addict.

Today’s chapter is the climactic finale of Samson’s story. Samson’s tragic flaw, his perpetual lust for Philistine women, finally catches up with him in his love for Delilah. His blind devotion to her, despite the fact that she seems bent on learning the source of his strength for nefarious reasons, results in his tragic fall and the physical blindness that came with his capture and captivity.

In yesterday’s post/podcast, I unpacked the fact that Samson’s story is the story of the Hebrews. The parallels continue to the very end, and the events of today’s chapter prophetically foreshadow the future history of Israel. They will continue to chase after foreign gods, which will lead to their captivity and exile in Assyria and Babylon. The fact that God redeems Samson’s fall and uses it for His purposes foreshadows the redemption and return of the Israelites. Samson’s blindness foreshadows Israel’s own spiritual blindness to the Messiah who will be sent for their ultimate redemption.

In the quiet this morning, this leads me back to my own life, and my own story. I, like every other human being who has ever lived, have my own sins, flaws, and weaknesses. Left unchecked, my story would be far more tragic than it’s already been. Samson’s story is a reminder to me of two very important truths:

First, the path of Jesus, like The Twelve Steps, is one that begins with a choice to own my flaws, confess, repent, and follow in Jesus’ footsteps…every day. Without that, my own tragic shortcomings will eventually lead me to very unpleasant places, just like Samson.

Second, God is not about condemnation. God is about redemption. He ultimately redeemed Samson’s flaws. He ultimately brought His exiled people home. He ultimately, through Jesus, graciously provided a Way of forgiveness and redemption for any and all who will follow.

I have been a follower, a disciple, of Jesus for over 40 years. I confess to you that I’m not perfect, and admit to you that I’m still working on my own tragic flaws. Despite this fact, I’ve found God to be gracious, merciful, and faithful; God is about redemption. And so, I’m stepping out and pressing on today, one more day in the journey.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The “Woe-Is-Me” Blues

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The “Woe-is-Me” Blues (CaD Ps 38) – Wayfarer

Come quickly to help me,
    my Lord and my Savior.
Psalm 38:22 (NIV)

I have very fond memories of my grandparents taking me on childhood visits to see Aunt Kate and Uncle Frank. It was typically an afternoon visit when the Dutch American tradition of mid-afternoon “coffee time” was strictly observed, though Aunt Kate always make tea and served some form of Dutch treats with it. Kate was my grandfather’s sister and was afflicted with what I assume is the same genetic form of hearing loss that also afflicted my grandfather and was passed to my father and then to me. She wore an early type of hearing aid that looked like a transistor radio that hung around her neck with a wired earbud that made it appear to my child-eyes that she was always listening to a ball game on the radio. Uncle Frank was legally blind, though he was a renowned gunsmith and he sightlessly crafted things with his hands that I couldn’t manage to craft with 20-20 vision and all the tools in the world. I once struck up a conversation with a complete stranger at a bar in Minnesota and somehow we ended up talking about Uncle Frank. The guy was seriously in awe and wanted me to try and get him Uncle Frank’s autograph (Frank had long since passed away).

As I grew older, it fascinated me to visit Kate and Frank and watch them navigate life together in their little house. She was his eyes. He was her ears. I never heard a word of complaint from either of them regarding their disabilities.

Illness and physical ailments are part of life’s journey. I recognize that, for some, it is significant to the point of being all-consuming. I count among my many blessings the fact that I have enjoyed relatively good health thus far in my trek. The genetic Vander Well hearing loss has been more annoying than debilitating in any way.

I have known many individuals along the way, like Kate and Frank, who have had to live with various forms of illness, weakness, and impairment. I have also observed the diverse ways that individuals handle their difficulties from those who courageously and wordlessly adapt to those who wallow ceaselessly in victim-status.

We are nearing the end of the first section in the anthology of ancient song lyrics that is the book of Psalms. The compilers ended “Book I” of the anthology with four songs with confession as a central theme. Today’s chapter, Psalm 38, is the first of them.

David is seriously ailing. The reason and nature of his wounds and illness are lost to history, but the warrior-king is ill to the point of distress and he hears the whispers (real or imagined) of those who are waiting for him to die so they can politically maneuver themselves into positions of power. He enjoyed a relatively long life and made his mark as a strong and heroic warrior. I can imagine that being physically diminished had to have been a struggle on multiple levels for him. So, as he always did, he channeled his emotions into song.

I have noticed that it is very human for those who have enjoyed health an strength to spiritually question sudden and drastic changes in their fortune. Job questions, agonizes, and laments at great length. So, it’s not surprising that David would wonder if there was something he did to bring on his own ill-fortune.

I have learned that one of the great things about the Psalms is that they often give words to my own very human feelings and emotions. I can identify with David’s own human emotions and struggles. Sometimes I encounter individuals who think that being a follower of Jesus is some kind of psychological crutch to avoid life’s harsh realities, but I have found it to be just the opposite. I can’t be a follower of Jesus if I’m not willing to fully embrace suffering life’s harsh realities. In doing so, it’s nice to know that others, like David, have been there before. I get to sing the blues along with him.

At the end of his “woe-is-me” blues David utters a simple plea for God to be near, and to help. I can almost feel him so depleted of life energy that all he can muster is a meager cry for help.

Sometimes on this life journey circumstance reduces us to compacted prayer,

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Spiritual Pivot-Point

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Spiritual Pivot-Point (CaD Ps 32) – Wayfarer

Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
    and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
    and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Psalm 32:5 (NRSVCE)

It’s good to be back!

While I was on hiatus the past few weeks, Wendy and I were able to enjoy some time with friends. Over dinner one night, I was asked to share some of my life story. Parts that my friends didn’t know much about. I shared. They asked questions. I found myself recounting things I hadn’t thought too much about in a long time.

I generally like to let “old things pass away” as Paul wrote to the followers of Jesus in Corinth, and dwell in the “new things” and new places God has led in my journey. There is, however, no escaping the fact that, like all good stories, my life has its chapters of shortcomings, moral failure, bad choices, and the tragic consequences that result. My story includes tragic flaws, secrets, addiction, adultery, and divorce. These things are not secret, and I’ve been publicly honest in owning my own personal failures and their tragic consequences.

But, that’s not the end of my story. And, that’s the point.

Today’s psalm contains the lyrics of another song penned by King David. It’s a before-and-after song. It is a tale with two halves. It’s the song of David’s own personal journey.

Like most of David’s songs, it begins with a one verse introduction letting us know that he is looking back in time and writing the song from a place of redemption further down the road. He then confesses to have at one time kept secrets and sins locked up inside. The consequences were guilt, shame, weakness, struggle, heaviness, and waste.

Then, David came clean. He confessed. He owned up to his mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. David’s own personal story, by the way, includes top-line shortcomings including, but not limited to, adultery, deceit, murder, and gross parental failure. He, however, confessed this, owned it, stopped hiding it, came clean, and sought God’s forgiveness.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
    and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
    and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

That’s the pivot point of David’s song, just as it is the pivot point of David’s spiritual journey. What comes after, in the second half of the song? Forgiveness, protection, safety, security, deliverance, instruction, guidance, wisdom, steadfast love, and out of these things comes David’s song of joy that we now call Psalm 32.

In the quiet this morning I am reminded that the Great Story is quite clear about the individual spiritual journey having a pivot point. For Paul, it was on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). For Peter, it was along the shore of Galilee (John 21). For David, it was being confronted by God’s prophet in his throne room (2 Samuel 12). For me, it was a series of events over a five-year period.

Without coming clean and owning my failings I don’t truly experience the pivot-point that opens the floodgates of grace and forgiveness. Without experiencing the powerful current of grace and forgiveness I don’t truly experience flow of spiritual transformation truly moving me forward toward maturity. Without that flow of spiritual transformation moving me forward, the spiritual journey remains mired in stagnant and shallow religion which Jesus described as being like a gorgeous, marble tomb sitting in a pristine, manicured cemetery. It may look wonderful on the outside, but the reality is that once you get past the manufactured exterior appearances, all you find is death, rot, and decay.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.