Tag Archives: Confession

Chapter-a-Day

The True Spiritual Test

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English: Nathan advises King David
English: Nathan advises King David (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12:13a (NIV)

 

When I was five years old, while on a Christmas Eve sleepover at my grandparents’ house,  I stole all of my siblings’ gift envelopes off of the Christmas tree and hid them in my suitcase. I watched in silence on Christmas day as grandma racked her brain to figure out where those envelopes went. Then, I promptly forgot that my mom would be the one unpacking my suitcase when we got home. I was totally busted. My butt cheeks were rosy from the spanking that quickly followed, the cheeks of my face were quickly stained with tears of remorse as I called grandma to confess my heinous crime and to ask her forgiveness.

 

I learned early that your sins find you out. Having said that, let me readily I admit that it didn’t stop me from sinning. I’ve made plenty of tragic choices since then. I make them on a regular basis, in fact. Along the way, however, I’ve come to realize that hiding, concealing, obfuscating, blaming, and excusing my wrongdoing is both delaying the inevitable and stunting my spiritual growth and development. The further I get in the journey the more readily I’ve embraced my fallibility and shortcomings. I might as well cut to the chase, admit I blew it, and allow everyone to move on.

 

In this morning’s chapter, David is confronted by the prophet Nathan and his illicit affair with Bathsheba, his conspiracy to murder Bathsheba’s husband, and his attempt to conceal his paternity of Bathsheba’s child is revealed in dramatic fashion. David’s response was to quickly confess his wrongdoing and seek God’s forgiveness. It’s a fascinating contrast to David’s predecessor. When the prophet Samuel confronted King Saul of his wrongdoing, Saul excused his behavior and refused to repent of his actions.

 

We all make mistakes. We all make selfish choices that hurt others. The true spiritual test is in how we respond to God and others in the ensuing guilty conscience, or when when we are confronted and exposed.

 

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Chapter-a-Day

Confession and Blessing

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Psalm Tats LR

Praise the Lord.
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
who finds great delight in his commands.
Psalm 112:1 (NIV)

Years ago I read Psalm 112 as a part of my normal reading routine. I can’t explain it, but that day it penetrated deep into my soul. I memorized the psalm and I recite it regularly and prayerfully. I realized that the description of the “blessed man” that the lyricist describes is a description of the man I want to be:

  • God fearing
  • delighting in God’s message
  • successful father
  • gracious
  • compassionate
  • righteous
  • generous
  • confident
  • steadfast
  • fearless
  • secure

This past summer I had a tattoo inked on the bicep of each of my arms. On the left arm the tattoo reads Psalm 51 and the right arm reads Psalm 112. Psalm 51 is a song of confession and through ages the left hand has been associated with folly. Psalm 112 is a song of blessing and through the ages the right hand has been associated with favor. I placed the tats on my biceps because it is a muscle that men traditionally associate with strength.

My tats remind me daily that my strength for life’s journey is not rooted in my effort, social standing, intelligence, gifts, finances, career, or abilities. My strength for the journey is found in:

  1. Humility and daily confession that I am broken, make mistakes, and am in continuous need of God’s grace and forgiveness.
  2. God’s unmerited favor and blessing as I daily seek to be the man God calls me to be.

Confession and blessing. Every day. Every step. Confession and blessing.

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Chapter-a-Day

Clean Hands, Clear Conscience

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Pope Benedictus XVI
Pope Benedictus XVI (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Now testify against me in the presence of the Lord and before his anointed one. Whose ox or donkey have I stolen? Have I ever cheated any of you? Have I ever oppressed you? Have I ever taken a bribe and perverted justice? Tell me and I will make right whatever I have done wrong.”

“No,” they replied, “you have never cheated or oppressed us, and you have never taken even a single bribe.”

“The Lord and his anointed one are my witnesses today,” Samuel declared, “that my hands are clean.” 1 Samuel 12:3-5a (NLT)

This past year the world witnessed something it had not seen in hundreds of years as a living pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church retired from the papacy and turned over his office to another. I thought of Pope Bendedict and his successor, Pope Francis, this morning as I read Samuel’s retirement speech as leader and judge of Israel. Reading through the historical narratives of the Judges, it appears that the Judges carried out their national leadership until death much like the leader of the Roman church has done for centuries. To have Samuel retire and transition his leadership and authority to King Saul was something of a unique moment in Israel’s history, as was his retirement speech in today’s chapter.

I found it interesting that Samuel’s first concern with retiring his office was to make sure that he could do so with a clean conscience. He stands before the people and asks any who he has wronged to step forward and make it known so that he might reconcile the matter. When nobody does, he declares “my hands are clean.”

I have worked in the business world for twenty years and have been involved in one form of church leadership or another for over twenty five years. I have met precious few leaders who seem at all concerned with retiring with clean hands. I have met far more men and women whose lives are layered with feelings of guilt, shame, and regrets for past words and actions which haunt them. Key relationships from their past remain broken. In many cases, I observe that they have little interest in washing their hands, but appear to cover the dirt and stink of their past with a spiritual pair of good looking gloves and some cheap perfume.

As I read Samuel’s speech this morning, I felt an intense desire to be like him. I want clean hands and a clear conscience when it comes to my business dealings and relationships. If, like Samuel, I don’t want to face a long line of people bearing witness to the dirt of my life at my retirement party, then I better be careful how I think, speak and act today.

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Chapter-a-Day

Corporate Confession

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JapanSMP_1213
(Photo credit: openg)

When they had assembled at Mizpah, they drew water and poured it out before the Lord. On that day they fasted and there they confessed, “We have sinned against the Lord.”
1 Samuel 7:6 (NIV)

Over the past few weeks I have witnessed and been part of multiple moments of corporate confession in gatherings of fellow Jesus followers. Individual confession is, no doubt, good for the soul and necessary for on-going spiritual health. Nevertheless, I find it an amazing experience when a group of people publicly acknowledge that we’ve all blown it, we regret our failures, and we need both forgiveness and the opportunity of a fresh start. In a culture that seems ever to reward arrogance and bravado, there is something quietly powerful in a group of people together finding strength in humility and reverence.

Chapter-a-Day

Parenting and Integrity

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Following in his footsteps
Following in his footsteps (Photo credit: AhmadHashim)

The godly walk with integrity;
    blessed are their children who follow them.
Proverbs 20:7 (NLT)

Notice that the proverb does not read that the godly walk with perfection.

As I look back over the past 23 years of being a parent, I am reminded of numerous mistakes that I have made. These mistakes include personal moral failures and regrets for little things I should have said or done differently both as a person and as a father. What has been clear to me is that my shortcomings are not hidden from my children. They are painfully aware of my weaknesses as well as my strengths.

Along the journey I’ve witnessed many parents who attempt to hide their weaknesses from their children. Taking on an attitude of perfection and high-minded omniscience, they act as if it would be disaster for their children to perceive a chink in the parental armor. They work tirelessly to offer the kids a spit-and-polished veneer of supremacy and will not admit failure or show weakness to their offspring. Mom and Dad are perfect.  They are not to be questioned.

I have tried very hard not to fall into that trap. I would rather my children learn that integrity is not about the illusion of perfection but rather about embracing the truth of my imperfections. I don’t want my example to be the appearance of being a flawless parent, but the honesty of being a humble, authentic human being. I want to teach by example how to admit my mistakes, seek forgiveness, and strive towards continually improving both myself and my relationships them, with God and with others. To me, that will do more good in preparing them for life than some false impression I try to create that I do no wrong.

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[An index of all Tom’s chapter-a-day posts covering every book and chapter]

Chapter-a-Day

Confession is Good for the Soul

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David Entrusts a Letter to Uriah - Miserere, p...
David Entrusts a Letter to Uriah – Miserere, psalm 51 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 51

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
    Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
    and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
Psalm 51:10-11 (NLT)

Songs are often best understood in the context of the time and place they were written. It is critical to understand the context of today’s psalm. It was written by David who had just been dramatically confronted with his own wrongdoing by the prophet, Nathan. If you’ve never read the story, or if it’s been a long time since you read it, I encourage you to take a few minutes to read it in 2 Samuel 11-12.

Today’s song is a song of penitence; it expresses regret for wrongdoing and sin. It is easy for me to get cranking through my day. Like David before he was confronted by Nathan, I can easily be distracted by a myriad of thoughts and tasks. I give little thought to the ways I’ve been hurtful to God and others in the course of my day. When I stop for a moment to think about it, however, I am struck at just how far I am from where I want to be. Psalm 51 suddenly becomes very personal. I find my heart crying out like David in confession and a plea for forgiveness.

The old saying is that confession is good for the soul. I believe it to be true. Confession is spiritual chiropractic. It recognizes where we are spiritually out of alignment with God and in need of proper adjustment. It puts us back in place and makes way for spiritual health and all of its benefits.

As I have prayed my way through the Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle, I ran across her use of an ancient litany of the church: The Litany of Penitence. It has done my soul good to make it a regular part of my morning quiet time because as I read through it I am regularly reminded of how much I need confession, repentance, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. While the Litany was originally written to be part of a responsive reading between priest and congregation, here is a variation I often make person prayer to God:

Most holy and merciful Father:

I confess to you and to my brothers and sisters, and to the whole communion of saints in heaven and on earth, that I have sinned by my own fault in thought, word, and deed; by what I have done, and by what I have left undone.

I have not loved you with my whole heart, and mind, and strength. I have not loved my neighbors as myself. I have not forgiven others, as I have been forgiven.

Have mercy on me, Lord.

I have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us. I have not been true to the mind of Christ. I have grieved your Holy Spirit.

Have mercy on me, Lord.

I confess to you, Lord, all my past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of my life,

I confess to you, Lord.

My self-indulgent appetites and ways, and my exploitation of other people,

I confess to you, Lord.

My anger at my own frustration, and my envy of those more fortunate than me,

I confess to you, Lord.

My intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts, and my dishonesty in daily life and work,

I confess to you, Lord.

My negligence in prayer and worship, and my failure to commend the faith that is in me,

I confess to you, Lord.

Accept my repentance, Lord, for the wrongs I have done: for my blindness to human need and suffering, and my indifference to injustice and cruelty,

Accept my repentance, Lord.

For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward my neighbors, and for my prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from me,

Accept my repentance, Lord.

For my waste and pollution of your creation, and my lack of concern for those who come after me,

Accept my repentance, Lord.

Restore me, good Lord, and let your anger depart from me;

Favorably hear me, for your mercy is great.

Accomplish in me the work of your salvation,

That I may show forth your glory in the world.

By the cross and passion of your Son our Lord,

Bring me with all your saints to the joy of his resurrection.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Esther 10

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The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624.
The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mordecai the Jew became the prime minister, with authority next to that of King Xerxes himself. He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants. Esther 10:3 (NLT)

Mordecai was held in high esteem. He was considered great and in the end his life was marked by triumphant success. The reason given for this was simple: he looked out for the needs of others. The story of Esther is the story of deliverance for an entire people, but it would never have happened if Mordecai had not been diligent in being aware of all that was going on around him. It would not have happened if Mordecai had not loved Esther, taken her under his wing, and mentored her. It would not have happened had Mordecai not been willing to stand in the face of persecution when everyone else bowed in fear and appeasement. It would never have taken place had unless Mordecai considered the greater needs of his people more important than his own personal security.

As I read this morning, I was reminded of this passage from Paul’s letter to Philippian believers:

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

 Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Mordecai was a living example of this attitude that all followers of Jesus are told we must have.

It is Friday as I write this post. It was on a Friday that Jesus obediently hung on the cross for our sins as described above. In the deep tradition of Jesus’ followers, each Friday is a day of introspection and confession as we think about our own sins and shortcomings.  As for me, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow as I read about Mordecai this morning. I confess that my life is so marked by thoughts of self. My attitude is so seldom about others and so often about me. My bad.

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 32

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When I refused to confess my sin,
    my body wasted away,
    and I groaned all day long.
Psalm 32:3 (NLT)

Like many, I’m a fan of The Godfather saga. The first two films in the trilogy undoubtedly rank among the greatest stories ever told on film. I’m also not alone in my belief that the third film of the series, while an okay film, does not come close to the quality of first two. Nevertheless, The Godfather III has moments of brilliance, and one of them came to mind this morning as I read today’s chapter.

In the film, an aged and unhealthy Michael Corleone seeks out one of the Cardinals in the Vatican to elicit his help with corruption that is taking place in the Holy See’s upper ranks. The stress of the situation is too much and in the moment of their meeting Michael suffers the beginnings of a diabetic seizure. The Cardinal, recognizing the spiritual agony as well as physical ailments Michael suffers, explains that when the soul is in agony the body cries out. He encourages Michael to unburden his soul in confession, something that Michael has not done since childhood. A lifetime of sin and corruption clogs his heart, but the Cardinal slowly urges Michael to let it out. It is one of the most poignant moments in the entire story arc of the three films.

Holding tight to our guilt and sin in an effort to keep it secret is holding on to spiritual cancer. It may not be noticeable at first, but slowly it begins to eat away at our heart, mind and spirit. Symptomatic effects begin to show up in our relationships, our thoughts, our emotions and even our bodies.

Confession is not only good for the soul, but it gives way to an inflow of Life that can bring healing in a myriad of ways.

Today is a good day for confession. Let it go.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Hebrews 4

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Illuminated parchment, Spain, circa AD 950-955...
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Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. Hebrews 4:13 (NLT)

Scene 8

GLADYS and DEAN exit. ARL steps up and sits next to THOMAS on the porch steps, he notices the cigarette in THOMAS’ hand.

ARL: You a smoker, Tommy?

THOMAS: No. Not any more.

ARL: I suppose you know your dad used to like a cigarette now and then. Kids always know their parents secrets.

THOMAS: Yes. He used to keep his stash of cigarettes in the shed. He used to always head out to “work in the shed” after dinner. Mom never said a word.

ARL: Oh, I think your mom gave him an earful from time to time, but she’d stay quiet in front of you. She wouldn’t want to admit it in case you didn’t know. But of course, you did know because kids always know the secrets of their parents.

THOMAS: Like the fact that you and dad and Mr. De Haas would meet in the shed to have a little nip at the bottle of Old Crow in the bottom drawer of dad’s tool cabinet?

ARL: (mocking incredulity) I don’t know what you’re talking about.

THOMAS: (laughs) I’m sure you don’t…

Secrets are powerful. Tucked away in dark places, secrets both great and small wield tremendous power over us and in us. And, as with most things you find in dark places, the results are generally not positive.

Secrets are powerful. We all keep them. It’s part of the human condition. We’ve been hiding things since Adam and Eve figured out how useful fig leaves can be. And so we make sure certain things are hidden away from public sight where we think no one sees.

The way things work out, however, is that things hidden in dark places eventually find their way to the light. As Arl muses in the above scene from Ham Buns and Potato Salad: Children discover the secrets of their parents. Parents discover the secrets of their children. Jesus himself said, “For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light.” That is, because everything is exposed to God. The deepest secrets of our lives, hearts, minds and souls are already fully laid bare before our Creator.

Exposure is not a bad thing. Why do you think Frank Warren’s site Post Secret has been continually flooded with postcards for years and years? Exposure can be painful, perhaps. Embarrassing, usually – at least for a time. But dark things exposed to the Light tend to lose their power over us. That’s why God commands us to confess our secrets to one another and to expose dark things to light. In doing so, we are stepping out of darkness and into Light. We are pressing forward in our journey rather than getting mired and stuck in murky places.

So, what’s my secret?

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 21

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Molengracht Canal Night
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Finally, all the leaders of that town that is nearest the body will wash their hands over the heifer that had its neck broken at the stream and say, “We didn’t kill this man and we didn’t see who did it. Purify your people Israel whom you redeemed, O God. Clear your people Israel from any guilt in this murder.” Deuteronomy 21:6-8 (MSG)

I watched with interest this past Sunday night as my beloved Cubs played the New York Mets. It was the 10th annviersary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and during the pregame memorial service the camera panned across the crowd. There were many hardy New Yorkers, both men and women, who were reduced to tears. Ten years later, the events of that day are still felt deeply in the community.

I grew up in the city and have lived in small towns with populations from 300 to 10,000. It’s interesting to look back at events that affected the collective community. Some of them a very public events like the floods of 1993 that left an entire city without running water for ten days. Even more private tragedies and shameful events, that people don’t care to acknowledge or discuss publicly, can have a tremendous effect on the community as a whole.

In today’s chapter, I found it interesting that God prescribed a very public ceremony in the event of an unexplained, mysterious death. It reminded me that communities, like individuals, sometimes need to experience a period of introspection, acknowledgement, and confession coupled with ritual to seek forgiveness or absolution. When a community fails to process tragedy in a healthy way, the suppression of fear, anxiety, and guilt will surely attach itself to the community in unhealthy ways.

Today, I’m reminded to be aware of and pray for the local community in which I live, and the people around me with whom I carry out daily life.

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