Tag Archives: Example

Chapter-a-Day

Parenting and Integrity

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Following in his footsteps
Following in his footsteps (Photo credit: AhmadHashim)

The godly walk with integrity;
    blessed are their children who follow them.
Proverbs 20:7 (NLT)

Notice that the proverb does not read that the godly walk with perfection.

As I look back over the past 23 years of being a parent, I am reminded of numerous mistakes that I have made. These mistakes include personal moral failures and regrets for little things I should have said or done differently both as a person and as a father. What has been clear to me is that my shortcomings are not hidden from my children. They are painfully aware of my weaknesses as well as my strengths.

Along the journey I’ve witnessed many parents who attempt to hide their weaknesses from their children. Taking on an attitude of perfection and high-minded omniscience, they act as if it would be disaster for their children to perceive a chink in the parental armor. They work tirelessly to offer the kids a spit-and-polished veneer of supremacy and will not admit failure or show weakness to their offspring. Mom and Dad are perfect.  They are not to be questioned.

I have tried very hard not to fall into that trap. I would rather my children learn that integrity is not about the illusion of perfection but rather about embracing the truth of my imperfections. I don’t want my example to be the appearance of being a flawless parent, but the honesty of being a humble, authentic human being. I want to teach by example how to admit my mistakes, seek forgiveness, and strive towards continually improving both myself and my relationships them, with God and with others. To me, that will do more good in preparing them for life than some false impression I try to create that I do no wrong.

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[An index of all Tom’s chapter-a-day posts covering every book and chapter]

Chapter-a-Day

We All Follow Footsteps…Choose Well

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Footsteps
Footsteps (Photo credit: courosa)

Follow the steps of good men instead,
    and stay on the paths of the righteous. Proverbs 2:20 (NLT)

As I walk this life journey, I travel in the footsteps of good men and women. I have been blessed with a host of mentors who made a positive difference in my life:

  • Parents who love God and taught their children the values of honesty, hospitality, hard work, loving your neighbors well and serving others the way they’d want to be served.
  • Grandparents who laid their own set of footprints for my parents and siblings.
  • Siblings who loved their little brother, protected him, and let him hang around.
  • Primary teachers who cared about me as a person, who prayed for me without my knowing it and encouraged me to develop my talents and abilities.
  • Friends who encouraged me to do the right things.
  • Spiritual mentors who took me under their wing, taught my by example, and poured more time and energy into me than I deserved.
  • College professors who put up with a young man’s maddening mix of pride and insecurity while patiently pushing and pruning.
  • Business mentors who led me by their every day example.

We all follow in the footsteps of others. Choose well.

If you haven’t chosen well, today is a good day to find different footsteps to follow.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Esther 10

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The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624.
The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mordecai the Jew became the prime minister, with authority next to that of King Xerxes himself. He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants. Esther 10:3 (NLT)

Mordecai was held in high esteem. He was considered great and in the end his life was marked by triumphant success. The reason given for this was simple: he looked out for the needs of others. The story of Esther is the story of deliverance for an entire people, but it would never have happened if Mordecai had not been diligent in being aware of all that was going on around him. It would not have happened if Mordecai had not loved Esther, taken her under his wing, and mentored her. It would not have happened had Mordecai not been willing to stand in the face of persecution when everyone else bowed in fear and appeasement. It would never have taken place had unless Mordecai considered the greater needs of his people more important than his own personal security.

As I read this morning, I was reminded of this passage from Paul’s letter to Philippian believers:

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

 Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Mordecai was a living example of this attitude that all followers of Jesus are told we must have.

It is Friday as I write this post. It was on a Friday that Jesus obediently hung on the cross for our sins as described above. In the deep tradition of Jesus’ followers, each Friday is a day of introspection and confession as we think about our own sins and shortcomings.  As for me, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow as I read about Mordecai this morning. I confess that my life is so marked by thoughts of self. My attitude is so seldom about others and so often about me. My bad.

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Hosea 14

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Photo taken by me as an example of a stay at h...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Lord says,
“Then I will heal you of your faithlessness;
    my love will know no bounds,
    for my anger will be gone forever.
Hosea 14:4 (NLT)

It has been said that a child’s view of God often comes directly from their relationship (or lack of relationship) with their father. How a child sees God is often the same as they see their dad. I get why kids make the comparison, and as a dad I’ve often felt the weight of that responsibility.

Perhaps that’s why when I read the prophets I sometimes feel a pang of understanding with God’s point-of-view as He relates and responds to His children. While not universally true, I think it is generally true that fathers tend to be the hand of justice in a family while mothers provide a balance of compassion. Dads often make the unpopular and difficult decisions, risking the temper tantrums and cold shoulders, trusting that the child will eventually realize that it was ultimately for their benefit.

Dad’s also tend to be the executioner of punishment. Among my numerous friends with small children, I still hear the phrase “wait ’til your father gets home” used in high frequency. As the judge, jury and executioner of family justice, I find it easier to relate when the prophets warn, cajole and speak of God’s anger at His children’s foolishness and outright rebellion. But I also realize that this is not the whole story.

Underneath this father’s iron fist of justice beats a soft heart of love and compassion. Our daughters may have felt my stubborn wrath, but my wife will tell you at just how deeply I agonize over the girls when I have ever had to make difficult decisions that resulted in the girls disappointment, frustration, or anger. I get it when God continues to remind His children through the prophets that at the source of the fire hose of justice you’ll find the still waters of love and compassion. As the saying goes, “still waters run deep.”

Today, I’m thankful for being a dad and the spiritual lessons it affords. I continue to pray that, despite may many failings, I will always be for my children (and someday their children and their children’s children) a worth example of our Heavenly Father.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day John 12

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Judas Iscariot
Judas Iscariot (Photo credit: Missional Volunteer)

[Judas] did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. John 12:6 (NLT)

When you live in community with others it’s not your words that make a difference in the what others think and say about you – it’s your actions. For three years Judas was right there among Jesus’ inner circle. He heard the same messages as the other eleven followers, he saw the same miracles they did, and went on the same pilgrimages with them. I’m sure Judas talked a good game, but what John remembered was Judas’ selfishness, hypocrisy and the fact that he pilfered money for himself from the corporate accounts.

Today, I’m thinking about those with whom I live in community. I’m thinking about what they see in my actions and what it says about the person I am. I’m praying that I can increasingly bring my faith, my words, and my actions in harmony so that every moment of my life exemplifies what I say I believe.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Amos 8

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Art Lab punch clock
Image by much ado about nothing via Flickr

[You] who give little and take much, and never do an honest day’s work. Amos 7:5b (MSG)

I ran into an old teacher and asked him how things were going back at my alma mater. He shook his head with incredulity. “It’s not like it was when you were in school,” he told me. “If students put as much work into studying as they did into cheating and trying to get out of work, they’d be fine. It’s just frustrating.”

I spoke to a friend who supervises a team of workers and asked how it was at work. He shook his head with incredulity. “If only people would simply show up on time and do what’s asked of them,” he said. “I have people who work harder at getting out of doing work, than actually just getting the job done. And then, they complain about their pay.”

One of the simplest ways we differentiate ourselves along the journey is in the simple willingness to contentedly put in a hard day’s study or a hard day’s work for an honest return.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 2 Chronicles 36

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The evil mindset spread to the leaders and priests and filtered down to the people—it kicked off an epidemic of evil, repeating the abominations of the pagans and polluting The Temple of God so recently consecrated in Jerusalem. 2 Chronicles 36:14 (MSG)

In my profession, I have the opportunity to visit and work in many different places of business. I am astounded at how unique the culture can be from one company to the next. I have worked with clients who maintain exemplary levels of professional and ethical standards at every level of the organization. I’ve also had the experience of being in workplaces that are cut-throat and fear-filled. The one common thread I’ve witnessed over the past 16 years is that the environment I observe among the business’ front lines is generally a reflection of the person or persons in that company’s executive suite.

As we’ve journied through the historical books of God’s Message, I see the same pattern over and over again. The author of Chronicles described it so well in today’s chapter. King Zedekiah’s stubborn, evil, rebellious, self-centered leadership trickled down and spread out through his officials, and then filtered down through the religious leaders and local leaders.

What a huge lesson for any of us who are in leadership, whether that leadership is over family, small group, church, organization, or business. Today, I’m reminded to mind my business and to guard my heart. My leadership affects many people in ways I have likely not even considered.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and us embassy newzealand
Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 1 Kings 11

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Still walking. As Solomon grew older, his wives beguiled him with their alien gods and he became unfaithful—he didn't stay true to his God as his father David had done. 1 Kings 11:4 (MSG)

I've watched many people as they grow older. I've watched certain individuals as their relationship with God grew deeper and more meaningful with each stretch of the journey. I witnessed them becoming more loving, more compassionate, more transparent, and increasingly grateful.

The other day my daughter spoke of a friend who was concerned with what she was witnessing in her parents. Children finally grown, the nest empty, her parents appeared to be drawing away from the things of God. I have, sadly, witnessed similar situations. Like Solomon, the further along in the journey the more alienated and distant they grew from God.

While my relationship with God has certainly changed with time, I can attest it has only gotten deeper, more genuine, and more pure. I often think of one of my wife's favorite phrases from C.S. Lewis: "further up and further in."

I find Solomon's story to be a tragic one. Wisdom was given and then that wisdom was abandoned.

God, may I be faithful in pressing on in life that I might journey further up and further in to relationship with you. May those around me witness the purification of my faith, the steeling of my hope, and the deepening of my love.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and stathis1980

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Daniel 11

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Pressing on.  Those who keep their heads on straight will teach the crowds right from wrong by their example. Daniel 11:33 (MSG)

As I've read historical accounts of crisis and battle, I'm struck by a common theme. Great leaders are able to keep their heads on straight when bullets are flying and circumstances seem to spiral out of control around them. God's message says that character is proven in the midst of trial, and I believe it to be true. Though, the truth of it is not generally revealed in the moment, but in hindsight and reflection.

This week has been a time of reflection for me. Looking back at the journey, there is no doubt that I have traveled through some difficult stretches of road. Certainly, like every wayfarer, my feet have stumbled. Nevertheless, here I stand. I'm still pressing on. I'd like to think I've been able to keep my head on straight when life seemed to be crumbling around me. The crowds can choose to think what they will. I'm just going to keep walking towards the finish line.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and pleeker

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Daniel 6

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The king caved in and ordered Daniel brought and thrown into the lions' den. But he said to Daniel, "Your God, to whom you are so loyal, is going to get you out of this." Daniel 6:16 (MSG)

It's interesting to read these stories from the book of Daniel once again. Most of these stories, like Daniel in the lion's den, are tales I remember learning in childhood. As I read them again from this place in my journey, I find new lessons in old stories.

For example, I was struck today by King Darius' response to the trap in which he and Daniel found themselves. I remember Daniel being trapped by the conspiracy, but I'd forgotten that Darius was equally trapped by his own counselors. We all know about Daniel's incredible faith, but it was Darius' faith that jumped off the page at me today as I read the verse above. Daniels life, example, and faith became a conduit through which Darius could, himself, believe.

Today, I'm inspired and reminded to live out my faith in quiet, daily discipline. I hope that my life, like Daniel's, might be a conduit through which others can put their faith in God.