Tag Archives: Anxiety

New Places, New Faces: Wisdom Required

meredithWhen David’s envoys came to Hanun in the land of the Ammonites to express sympathy to him, the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Haven’t his envoys come to you only to explore and spy out the country and overthrow it?” 1 Chronicles 19:3 (NIV)

I’ll never forget seventh grade. That was the first year of what used to be called Junior High School and is now generally referred to as Middle School. All of the local elementary schools fed into Meredith Junior High. For seven years I had attended school with pretty much the same group of kids. We knew each other. We’d grown up together. Now, we were all dispersed among four or five times the number of kids from all over town.

I can remember the anxiety that came with those early days of seventh grade. You feel awkward enough as it is when you’re twelve or thirteen years old, but then to be placed in a new school with a host of new kids you didn’t know could feel disconcerting. I met all sorts of new friends. Some were positive influences on me, others not so much.

I thought about those days as I read inexperienced Prince Hanun taking the throne and filling his fathers shoes. I have no idea how old Hanun was, but I pictured him as a young man suddenly thrust into leadership and his commanders all jockeying for favor with the new monarch. They whispered in his year during a time of anxiety and fear. Hanun proved ignorant, or foolish, or both. He listened to the wrong advice and it cost him his crown.

Being in a new place can be a scary time. Whether it’s living in a new community, attending a new school, or working at a new job, there is a certain period of time it takes to get oriented and learn the ropes. You also tend to meet a lot of new people who have a whole lot of advice for you emanating from their own self-serving agendas. This morning I am reminded that wisdom and discernment are greatly needed during these stretches of life’s journey. New “friends” you meet in these situation often prove the great wisdom I learned from Looney Tunes as a kid: “With a friend like that, who needs enemies?”

The Misplaced Love of Tradition

Sheet music for the hymn "Now the Day is ...
Sheet music for the hymn “Now the Day is Over” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:1-3 (NIV)

A few years back a colleague of mine began grilling me over a period of time about worship. His church had recently eschewed the traditional old hymns of the church and switched to a more contemporary form of music. Being one for whom change is a difficult thing, my friend was distraught by this change and was anxious to make a case for why it was wrong for his church to have done so.

I can remember the conversation as we rode in the car together, my friend sarcastically referring to what he called “7-11” songs: “You sing the same seven words eleven times.”

He didn’t get a sympathetic audience from me, I’m afraid. I understood his emotions. I was raised on the great hymns of the faith, too. I miss hearing them and singing those beautiful four part harmonies. But, things change. Music changes. Styles change. As for my friends disregard for singing the same line repetitively, that is a musical device that has existed for centuries. You can use today’s psalm as evidence. The phrase “His love endures forever” is repeated 26 times in 26 verses (I guess this would have to be labeled a “4-26” song). Some of the psalms of ascent we’ve read recently are far shorter than most of the popular worship songs of today, and as traveling music I have to believe they were sung over and over again.

We human beings are funny people. Sometimes change is difficult for us, and I find that our love of traditions can at times be stronger than our love of the Creator or of others. Rather than experience the grief of change, we go through the mental and spiritual gymnastics required to cloak change in half-baked theological or biblical arguments which make it look “wrong,” “improper,” or even “sinful.” What a silly waste of time and energy.

I’m glad that despite our foolishness “His love endures forever.”

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Unexpected Curves in Life’s Road

And finally Saul son of Kish was chosen from among them. But when they looked for him, he had disappeared! So they asked the Lord, “Where is he?”

And the Lord replied, “He is hiding among the baggage.”
1 Samuel 10:21b-22 (NLT)

I am reminded this morning of a conversation I had with a fellow actor during a production this past year. She had been sharing with bits of the story of her own life journey. Like many people, her life had been marked with some difficulty and we were talking about the struggles and disappointments we experience in life.

I took an informal poll and asked a bunch of people if their lives had turned out the way they had expected when they were young,” my friend told me. “Not one person said ‘yes,'” she explained. “So, I figured that while my life wasn’t what I expected it to be, I’m just like everybody else.”

I recalled this conversation when I read about Saul being unexpectedly anointed king, empowered by God’s spirit, and then choosing to go hide in the baggage. The reality is that we will all face certain events, circumstances, opportunities and callings in this life which we didn’t expect, nor do we feel capable of facing. Like Saul, it’s tempting when experiencing a major curve in life’s road to take a good look at the uncertain path ahead and immediately run for cover.

God makes a habit of throwing unexpected and seemingly tangential waypoints into our journey. Saul experienced it in today’s chapter. Mary experienced it with an unexpected angelic visit and a positive pregnancy test. Paul experienced it on the road to Damascus. Joseph experienced it being sold into slavery by his brothers. Moses experienced it in a conversation with God amidst a burning bush. The twelve disciples experienced it in Jesus’ betrayal and late night arrest, then a few days later in an unexpected appearance of the resurrected Lord.

We cannot control our circumstances, but neither should we be afraid of the road ahead. We who walk by faith are repeatedly told not to fear, not to be anxious, and to choose to rejoice even in the toughest most unexpected stretches of life’s journey. God purposes not the fulfillment of our short-sighted and finite desires but the fulfillment of eternal and divine purposes. God will not call us to walk a path we are incapable of traversing. Even if we stumble and stagger, we can be confident that there is meaning in the struggle which will only be revealed when we later look back with 20-20 hindsight at just how far the journey has brought us.

Now, get out of that steamer trunk and put on your hiking boots. Time is waning and we’ve got a long road ahead of us.

Just What I Need in the Moment

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 69

Save me, O God,
for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
I can’t find a foothold.
I am in deep water,
and the floods overwhelm me.
Psalm 69:1-2 (NLT)

It’s been a crazy week, and things are about to get even crazier. Wendy and I are in production week with shows this weekend and next. I have two project deadlines for work this week (one is done, one is not) and have two major client deliveries next week. In the midst of it, Wendy and I had to make a road trip south for two days. You can feel the tension in our house from the sheer anxiety of “Oh my goodness I have so much to do and the task list keeps getting longer while the time gets shorter and I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done and could the phone PLEASE stop ringing because I don’t want to answer it and have MORE things piled on top of the mountain of things that need to be accomplished or I think I’m going to go TOTALLY insane (breathe, Tom, breathe….remember to breathe)!!!!!”

One of the things I love about the Psalms is the way you can read one particular lyric from one particular psalm and it can be packed with so much meaning. Sometimes one line, phrase or a particular verse can speak to you right where you are in a given moment on your life journey. Today is a great example. The first two verses of Psalm 69 leapt off the page this morning because it so perfectly expressed what both my head and my heart are feeling in this moment. It was like a tailor made prayer just for me this morning. I read it and my spirit groaned, “Yes, God, yes. That’s what I’m feeling. I feel like I’m drowning.” [Then, the song Flood by Jars of Clay suddenly became a soundtrack for the rest of the psalm]

The psalm also came with a much needed word of encouragement that is my take-away for today:

The humble will see their God at work and be glad.
Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.

 

Parade of the Downhearted

English: Christmas lights in Sanok
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 68

God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
Psalm 68:6a (NLT)

“Christmas is such a happy time of year,” Wendy said to me as we drove to rehearsal the other night. The Christmas lights on the businesses along Franklin Street were shining bright in the crisp night air and the Vermeer Windmill was decked out with all of its holiday decorations.

I wasn’t trying to be a Scrooge, but the first thought that came to my mind and my response to Wendy was “It’s not a happy time of year for everyone.” I know that the holidays can be incredibly stressful for some. For those who have lost loved ones or who struggle with loneliness, the holidays can be a time of increased anxiety and depression.

I can tell in the quiet this morning that my heart and mind have made the turn toward Advent. Advent comes from the latin term meaning “revealing.” It is traditionally the season followers of Jesus prepare their hearts each year to celebrate the birth of our Jesus on Christmas Day. Psalm 68 is a song of procession and was meant to be sung as people paraded to the temple to worship. It made me think about all of us who are making a procession towards Christmas. As I read the lyrics of the opening stanza of Psalm 68, I found it interesting those whom it describes in this processional to praise:

  • Fatherless
  • Widows
  • Lonely
  • Prisoners

How appropriate, I think, for the downhearted to be called out for this parade. The whole reason for Christ to come as a baby, to live among us, to die for our sins, and to be raised back to life, is that which is broken in all of us might be healed. Consider that in His first public message, Jesus proclaimed his personal mission statement when He quoted these words:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

This morning I’m thinking about the upcoming Christmas holiday in relation to the downhearted, the lonely, the grieving, those in bondage to their destructive thoughts and behaviors, and those who are suffering emotionally and physically. As we proceed toward Christmas, I’m praying that those of us who are suffering. Instead of experiencing increased levels of loneliness, isolation, anxiety and pain, I’m praying for us all – myself absolutely included – to find the healing and hope which can be found wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

Keeping it All in Perspective

Presidential Election 2012 Vector Sticker
(Photo credit: Vectorportal)

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 47

God reigns above the nations,
    sitting on his holy throne.
Psalm 47:8 (NLT)

It is sometimes hard not to get sucked into the vortex of current events. As I write this post the United States is a week from our presidential elections. You can’t turn on your television without seeing non-stop political advertisements. Political ads are now popping up on-line everywhere as well so you can’t even escape them on your computer. Here in Iowa, which is a swing state, our phones are ringing off the hook with recorded messages and survey takers. Newspapers and television news media are talking about little else. To be honest, it’s all a bit of a crazy maker.

One of the things that I love about our daily trek through God’s Message is the much needed perspective it often provides. This morning provided a good reminder for me. The truth is that I hold dual citizenship. I am at once a life-time citizen of the United States and an eternal citizen of the Kingdom of God. Presidents will come and go every four to eight years and God will still be on the throne.

It’s easy to feel a certain amount of anxiety and fear when we’re in the climactic hoopla of a national election. This is especially true when advertisements from both sides are telling you that the alternative to their candidate is doomsday. Yet, God reminds us time and again to step back and remember that things are all ultimately subject to His eternal control.

Sweet. Which way to the nearest monastery? I think I’ll become a hermit for the next ten days or so.

Chapter-a-Day 1 Peter 5

from hqas via Flickr

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

The other night we were visiting with friends at their house. One of their children was angry over a host of childish issues and, while we were there, he decided to run away from home in anger. Wendy and I love this child and have watched him grow up. He’s like a member of our own family. It was interesting for us to watch him stew in his own misery convinced that nobody cared for the injustice of his life. We commended his parents later for not overreacting to his very public act of packing in front of guests. I especially appreciated when his mother lovingly reminded him to grab his pillow and a sleeping bag because he’d probably need it sleeping out in the cold that night.

I love 1 Peter 5:7 for it’s direct simplicity. I have leaned on this verse countless times, reminding myself of it over and over and over again as I’ve gone through particularly difficult stretches of life’s journey. There are so many times in life when we feel alone and isolated in whatever situation we find ourselves. “Life is unfair. Life is unjust. God doesn’t care. In fact, maybe there’s no God at all if this is the way life is!”

1 Peter 5:7 is an antidote for moments of personal crisis. I have found two distinct encouragements in the verse. First, I need to act to cast my cares and worries on God. This requires me not to keep my destructive thoughts and emotions to myself but to take them to God. I have talked to God, I have screamed at God, I have whispered desperate prayers, and I have wept before God like a baby. The act of physically and audibly getting your cares out is cathartic and healing.

The unburdening of soul through conversation with God makes room for the second part of 1 Peter 5:7, which is the important reminder that God cares. I believe this to be true, though there have been very specific moments along the journey that I’ve seriously questioned it. A petulant child even in an adult body, I have more than once fussed at Father God about His injustice and uncaring attitude as I spiritually packed my bag to run away.

After giving his parents and guests a good dose of teen-aged attitude coupled with the silent treatment while having a snack for the road, our young friend must have thought better of his decision to run away. Without saying a word he headed to bed rather than the front door. Someday he will look back and realize how silly it was allowing a momentary feeling of injustice to let him feel so uncared for when the larger truth of the matter was he was raised in a loving home with two parents who care for him more deeply than he could imagine.

And so this runaway has found the same to be true with Father God. Once I unburden my soul and get out my anger, fear, anxiety and pain I am ready for a dose of truth; God loved me so much that He sacrificed His Son for me. He cares for me and loves me more deeply than I can possibly imagine despite my refusal to see it in the moment.

Today, as I write this post, I am able to see it clearly and am grateful for all the times Father God has smiled quietly to Himself as He lovingly reminded me not to forget my pillow and my sleeping bag

Chapter-a-Day Acts 27

from nikonmania via Flickr

But take courage! None of you will lose your lives, even though the ship will go down. Acts 27:22 (NLT)

When I was growing up, my family and I vacationed each year on Rainy Lake. The large lake is a boundary water between Minnesota and Canada. Some years the entire camp of families would head out in a long flotilla, taking a day trip across the massive water to fish and enjoy one another’s company. The weather in that area of the country can be both beautiful and treacherous. I have vivid memories of being a child in one of the larger craft as our long line of boats hurriedly made our way back to camp amidst the rise of an unexpected gale. I can remember waves crashing over the bow of the boat and fearfully watching my dad, alone in his little john boat behind us, as it got battered by the rising waves.

While the storms I experienced in northern Minnesota are nothing to be compared with the life-threatening situations you’ll find on the open ocean, it nonetheless gives me an appreciation for the experiences related in today’s chapter. There is nothing quite like the  realization of being in a small craft on a large body of water in the midst of nature’s fury. It is an unbelievably helpless feeling.

How encouraging must it have been for the passengers and sailors to hear Paul’s assurances as the storm raged uncontrollably into its second week. It reminded me this morning of the assurances God’s Message provides to me, and to all who place their faith in Jesus:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. I Peter 1:6-7 (NIV)

Today I’m reminded that life is filled with unexpected storms of many kinds. I can’t control the weather, nor can I control life circumstances that swirl around me. I can, however, be assured that God will faithfully see me through the storm if I will faithfully seek after Him.

Chapter-a-Day Acts 25

Regional Art Museum, Uzhgorod, Ukraine
Regional Art Museum, Uzhgorod, Ukraine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So the next day [King] Agrippa and [his sister] Bernice arrived at the auditorium with great pomp, accompanied by military officers and prominent men of the city. [Governor] Festus ordered that Paul be brought in. Acts 25:23 (NLT)

Confession time. When I was a young man, I was incredibly intimidated to be around people of worldly influence, social status, and power. When I began working for c wenger group, I was occasionally asked to accompany my employer and colleagues into meetings with prominent business leaders. I was nervous and self-conscious. My heart would pound and I could feel my cheeks become flushed if I was ever asked to speak. It took all of my training as a theatre major to act calm.

Over the years, the nerves, fear and anxiety faded. Time and experience taught me that I had nothing to fear. In fact, I began to realize two very important life lessons. First, I came to understand that the people in those positions of relative power are very much human like I am. They have the same human emotions and weaknesses as anyone else. In fact, often because of their position those individuals can feel more lonely and isolated than you might expect. Second, I learned that my position afforded me the sometimes unique opportunity to have relationships and show love to some of these individuals. God was giving me an open door to be a person of influence with persons of influence.

I thought about that as I read in today’s chapter about Paul getting called into deposition after deposition with the various leaders and rulers of the day. Each interview and trial was a unique chance to share his story and share God’s Message with an audience few if any could otherwise reach. It was also a direct fulfillment of Jesus’ prophetic message to His followers:

“But before all this occurs, there will be a time of great persecution. You will be dragged into synagogues and prisons, and you will stand trial before kings and governors because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell them about me. So don’t worry in advance about how to answer the charges against you, for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!  Even those closest to you—your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends—will betray you. They will even kill some of you. And everyone will hate you because you are my followers. But not a hair of your head will perish! By standing firm, you will win your souls.”

Today, I am thankful for the unique positions God places us in our jobs, our communities,  and in life circumstances – that we might have the opportunity to be people of influence. I pray that I will be a good steward of the opportunities I am given.

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Chapter-a-Day Acts 19

ROMAN EMPIRE, ANTONIUS PIUS 138-161 b
ROMAN EMPIRE, ANTONIUS PIUS 138-161 b (Photo credit: woody1778a)

“Gentlemen, you know that our wealth comes from this business. But as you have seen and heard, this man Paul has persuaded many people that handmade gods aren’t really gods at all. And he’s done this not only here in Ephesus but throughout the entire province! Of course, I’m not just talking about the loss of public respect for our business. I’m also concerned that the temple of the great goddess Artemis will lose its influence and that Artemis—this magnificent goddess worshiped throughout the province of Asia and all around the world—will be robbed of her great prestige!” Acts 19:25-27 (NLT)

A few years ago I read a book about the history of Dutch culture. Having come from Dutch heritage and living in a town steeped in its’ Dutch past, I thought it would be an interesting read. It was.

The author argued that Dutch culture sprang from three intertwining influences. On one side there was the influence of the great Dutch Catholic  philosopher, Erasmus who instilled in the Dutch the culture of education and the humanities. On the other side was the Protestant Dutch Calvinists who instilled strict morality and a strong work ethic. When the opposite poles of Catholic and Protestant influence conflicted with one another (and they always conflicted), it was the third major influence that became the tie breaker and trump card: Commerce. In other words: believe what you want across the spectrum of Catholic and Protestant doctrine, but don’t mess with business.

In today’s chapter we see a similar issue boiling to the surface. Paul’s missionary exploits were having the desired effect. Many people were putting their faith in Jesus and becoming followers of this new Christian religion called “The Way.” The idolatrous Greco-Roman culture with its dizzying array of gods did not seem to care much about this upstart religion, until it started to have an effect on the bottom line. Paul’s teaching about turning away from idolatry to the one true God created an economic recession for the local idol makers. Call the local chamber. Organize the Smith’s Union and start a rally. Don’t mess with business.

When spiritual truth is having maximum earthly effect, the spiritual transformation in individuals and communities creates systemic disruption in family systems, cultural systems, economic systems, political systems, and systems of commerce. Disruption creates anxiety. Anxiety creates fear. Fear creates strong, emotional reactivity.

“Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” – Jesus