Tag Archives: Counselor

Last Day of Camp

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

Summer camp is always a special place to be. Both as a camper, and later as a leader, and guest speaker, I have such fond memories of the laughter, adventure, friendships, and fun. For some, that fun never ends. There are entire summer camp communities where adults and families spend summers “at camp” where worship, studies, activities, and relationships become part of the rhythm of summer their entire lives.

Nevertheless, summer always ends. There is always that final day of camp. The camp fires become the embers of memory. The guitars are in their cases. The cabins have been emptied. The beds stripped. The close friendships forged in the intense togetherness (and maybe even a sparked romance) must come to an abrupt end. Cars arrive to take campers back to their disparate hometowns. Campers return to their daily routines. It is the death throes of summer, when in one moment the fun seems to end with gut punch. As you hug these people who have come to mean so much to you in such a short period of time, you know autumn’s descent is imminent. All of the real life activities and responsibilities that come with it await.

I have a very vivid memory of lying in the backseat of our family’s Mercury Marquis station wagon (yes, complete with wood paneling on the side) driving home from camp. Tears streamed down my cheeks. They dripped down on the car’s brown carpet littered with gum wrappers and spilled McDonald’s french fries. I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to live at camp forever.

Today’s final chapter of Hebrews reads like the last day of camp. No lofty theology now—no soaring angels, no mysterious Melchizedek, no blazing heavenly tabernacle. Here at the end, the gospel comes home, rolls its sleeves up, and gets practical. Earthy. Intimate.

The car is running. Your duffel bag of dirty clothes and life-long memories is already in “the way back” of the station wagon. Mom and Dad are waiting as you say your good-byes. The camp counselor who has become like a big brother or sister leans down to face you intimately. Lovingly taking your face gently in both hands, looking directly into your eyes, your counselor whispers, “Everything we’ve journeyed through together? Everything we learned? Everything we talked about in our cabin’s middle-of-the-night heart-to-hearts? Now live it.”

Today’s chapter is a heart-felt list of loving marching orders from a camp counselor to a tearful camper who doesn’t want to return to “real life.”

Love as everyday liturgy

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.”

The Greek implies continually, habitually—love not as an emotion but as a practice. Prisoners become kin. Marriage is honored, not as a cage, but as a covenant shelter. The chapter opens like it believes the mundane moments are sacred ground.

Life free from fear

“Be content… for God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”

It’s God whispering,
“Even if the world shakes, I’m not going anywhere.”

Remember your leaders

The writer encourages the church to imitate the faith of leaders whose lives embody Jesus.

Not heroes on pedestals—humble guides whose walk matches their talk. Like the camp counselor who was just a college kid making less money than he could have behind a fast-food counter.

Jesus: yesterday, today, and forever

It’s the spine-tingling line. The center of gravity for the whole letter.

Everything changes—priesthoods, covenants, temple curtains, seasons in the heart. And summer, too. There’s always a last day of camp.

But Jesus?
Steady as the sun.
Always the same warm presence, the same mercy, the same fierce love.

The strange altar of grace

The author points to Christ as our once-for-all offering outside the camp.
Outside the religious system. Outside the institutions and walls of the church. Outside the boundaries of status and purity.

There’s an invitation and encouragement for unkempt daily life:
“Meet Him where it’s messy. Worship Him with your life, not rituals.”

The Benediction

“May the God of peace… equip you with everything good for doing His will.”

There is no demand from a tyrannical God. It’s not a shaming you into obedience. Equip you. Like handing you warm gloves for the road home and the inevitability of autumn’s cold winds and the impending winter you know follows right behind it.

Finally: “May He work in us what is pleasing to Him.”

Not me working for God.
God working inside me.

It’s divine intimacy—God and me, heart-to-heart, breath-to-breath.

In the quiet, as I meditate on these things, Holy Spirit takes my face lovingly into both hands and looks me in the eye. Returning to the words:

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”

The original Greek in which this was written has no English equivalent for the structure. It’s a triple negative. It’s like repeating the word “never” three times. One source I found paraphrased it like Jesus saying this:

“I will never ever ever let you go—nope, not happening, not now, not ever.”

And so, with that encouragement from Holy Spirit, my camp counselor, I slip into the back seat of life’s Mercury Marquis station wagon and head into the real life of this new day. Some days, I just don’t want to do it.

But I have my marching orders, and I’m never alone.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

No Worries

No Worries (CaD Lk 12) Wayfarer

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
Luke 12:25 (NIV)

Wendy and I are blessed to share our earthly journey with good friends. By “good friends,” I mean people with whom we not only socialize but also dig in and have life-giving conversations. We have spent entire days with our friends doing nothing but sitting and having one long conversation about life that goes into some deep personal places. Some of our friends have even been teased and ridiculed by other friends who are unashamed in their desire to keep their conversations in the wading pool.

Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I have found that to be true as I’ve trekked along on this earthly journey. My life journey has been one of constant examination. I have friends who are entrenched in the shallow end of life’s pool and are intimidated by the very thought of sitting down with a counselor or therapist. They laugh when I tell them how many different ones I’ve seen along the way. Add to that a handful of mentors I’ve spent time with during the early and middle stretches of the journey. On top of that is a layer of inner-circle friends going all the way back to early childhood who are always willing to dive into the deep end with me, even if we haven’t spoken to one another for years.

It is through all of these various conversations of examination that I’ve learned my own patterns of thought and behavior, both healthy and unhealthy. It’s through these relationships that I’ve found a safe place to address my blind spots with others who are gracious, loving, and forgiving. It is through these conversations and relationships that I’ve grown to be a better person.

One of the things I have learned about myself is how anxiety and worry manifest themselves in my life. When I worry, the object of my worry sits on the frontal lobe of my brain like a giant landslide over the road. I’m an internal processor, and so my thoughts fixate on what I’m anxious about even though I continue to project to the world that all systems are normal. I wake up out of a deep sleep at 3:00 in the morning as my brain mulls and spins and chews on this thing I’m worried about. My productivity drops and my ability to be fully present with others wanes.

In today’s chapter, Luke records core pieces of Jesus’ teaching. One of the major themes is Jesus telling His followers to not worry or be anxious about anything. The antidote He prescribes is two-fold. First, He tells me to expand my vision. Rather than myopically focusing on this earthly life and its worries, He wants me to have faith to see that God’s eternal kingdom which lies at the end of this earthly journey is more real than what I experience on this earth with my five senses. Then, He desires for me to know and experience God’s abundant love, generosity, and provision.

“Do not be afraid, little flock,” Jesus says, “for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Through self-examination, and through trial-and-error, I have learned to recognize when my mind is fixated and spinning in worry and anxiety. I’ve learned that I have to acknowledge it, say it out loud, or write it out on a page. This allows me to process it with someone else who I know and trust to be objective, loving, and non-judgmental. Finally, I have learned that I must consciously remind myself of God’s love, promises, generosity, and provision. Often, I do this by looking back and recounting all of the ways God has faithfully provided and guided me in the past. If I work these steps, I find that my worry loses its hold on me as my faith kicks in.

I would never have learned these steps, however, if I hadn’t first learned how worthwhile it is to live an “examined” life.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Moving Upstream

The simple believe anything,
    but the prudent give thought to their steps.
Proverbs 14:15 (NIV)

My friend, Matthew, likes to say that “everyone is having a conversation with life.” He describes it as an “inner conversation with your center as external circumstances beg for a response.”

Along my journey, I’ve come to believe that the quality and depth of that inner conversation is critical to my progress in Life, health, growth, and relationships. I’ve also observed along the way those who appear to choose not to engage in that conversation. Maybe they don’t know how to have that conversation. Maybe they really don’t want to have that conversation. The result, from my perspective, are lives that seem to run on uninterrupted cycles of appetite, impulse, reaction, and habit. Tragedy and/or life becoming unmanageable become the only way a conversation with Life might possibly get jump-started.

This morning I find my heart and mind still mulling over yesterday’s post and thoughts of introspection. I’ve always been a bit introspective, but I know many who aren’t and who don’t even know where to begin. Many years ago, when I worked with young people, I always tried to teach them both to be introspective and how to have conversations about those inner conversations. The lessons I learned I now apply in my relationships with clients, team members, friends, neighbors, and even strangers.

Typically, I would start with a simple ice-breaker type of question:

  • Good/Bad: Name one good thing and one bad thing from your week?
  • Where have you been? Where are you now? Where are you going?
  • What’s your biggest pet peeve?
  • If you had five other lives to live, what would you do/be?

Then, I would listen to the young person’s answer and begin what I call “moving upstream.” Moving upstream is really the process of introspection, but I find that one typically learns how to do it first by being led by a parent, friend, counselor, teacher, therapist, pastor, or mentor.

You know how the mouth of a river pouring into the ocean is usually really wide (and usually not very picturesque)? That is what a general answer to a general question is. That’s where introspection begins. Conversations with Life, for those who’ve never really had one, begin with a simple ice-breaker with yourself. But the really good stuff, the scenic views, the waterfalls, the natural springs, the crystal-clear mountain stream can only be reached by paddling upriver, then up a tributary, through a few locks and dams, then up another tributary, and another, and another. There will be a portage around a rapid or three, maybe some smaller dams, and then up yet another small stream. You keep moving upstream towards the Source.

Here’s how it sounded with one of the kids in my youth group as I tried to guide them upstream:

Me: “Name one bad thing from your week.”

Them: “Um, (young people always begin with “Um”) My bad thing this week was getting grounded by my parents.

Grounded? Okay, there’s a story there. Let’s move a little further upstream and find out what it is.

Me: “Ouch! How long are you grounded?”

Them: “Two weeks.”

I keep paddling. With each answer, I move a little farther upstream by taking what’s given to me and exploring further.

Me: “Two weeks!? That sucks! What on earth earned you two weeks?”

Them: (Head is down. Eyes stare at the floor. Shoulders shrug.)

We’ve reached our first dam. Sometimes the lock to a conversational dam is humor.

Me: “What did you do? MURDER SOMEBODY?

Them: (laughs) “No.”

Me: “ROB A BANK?!

Them: “No.”

Me: “Well, being late for curfew isn’t a two week offense. So it’s got to be somewhere between getting in late and murder.”

Silence. Silence is okay, even when it’s painful. Silence is a necessary part of introspection. As my friend Matthew says, “Let silence to the heavy lifting.”

More silence. Finally…

Them: (Mumbling after a sigh) “I got caught smoking weed.”

Hey! There’s a new tributary! Let’s move up that stream and see where it leads.

Hopefully, you get where I’m going. Keep asking questions. Look at the answer to those questions and let them lead you to the next question. The strings of questions and answers are the conversation with Life. The better I’ve become at having those inner conversations about my external circumstances, the further I get towards the Source and the more rewarding the journey has become.

In the quiet this morning, I’m whispering a prayer of thanks for the many friends, family members, teachers, professors, mentors, pastors, and therapists who helped guide me upstream at different stages of my journey. They taught me how to be introspective. Over the course of 50 plus years, my conversations with them taught me how to have a conversation with myself, with Life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.

Hope your own conversations with Life are leading you to good places, even when the portages, paddling, and dams are a pain.

Have a great day, my friend. Thank you for reading along with me on this journey.

Counselors and Confidants

source: dmcordell via Flickr
source: dmcordell via Flickr

Ahithophel was the king’s counselor.
Hushai the Arkite was the king’s confidant.

1 Chronicles 27:33 (NIV)

Along life’s journey I have had many counselors. Many were trained professionals and I paid for their services. Many were personal friends or relatives with wisdom and a willingness to listen when I needed to bend their ear; Those whom I trusted to provide me sage advice.

I have also had close friends and associates who have been confidants along the journey. These were not necessarily the same a counselors, though some were and are both. A confidant is a person whom I can entrust to know, keep and safely protect personal information and possessions – though I may not be looking for their counsel or advice with those things.

As I read the verse above, I meditated on the fact that each of us need good counselors and good confidants for our respective life journeys. Some may be with us for a lifetime, some for a small stretch of the sojourn, but they each play an important role in our story. Some, as in the case of Ahithophel, may prove to be unworthy of our trust. Ahithophel sided with David’s son Absalom in his plot to overthrow David, and committed suicide when the plot did not succeed. It’s a reminder to be wise in our choices of who we trust. I have my own tragic stories of confidences betrayed, though I choose to let those things go. I have enough to struggle with each day without adding on-going bitterness and animosity to the pile.

This morning I am thinking through the names and faces of those who have been my trustworthy counselors and confidants over the years and how blessed I have been to have each of them in my life.