Tag Archives: 2 Corinthians 13

Condemnation by Accusation

June 16, 2025 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

This will be my third visit to you. “Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”
2 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

“Did you know…?” the voice asked on the other end of the phone.

Then spewed a long litany of salacious and slanderous allegations regarding someone on my team. The accusations were dripping with self-righteous condemnation. The tid-bits of gossip likely had some hints of truth to them. But the news, however true, were events in the past. It had nothing to do with me, our team, or the current state of what we needed to accomplish. What did seem clear to me was that the accuser had an agenda to tear the accused down.

And, believe me, I know what it feels like to stand in the accused’s Michael Jordans. I have been the object of public and slanderous lies intended to diminish me for the sake of the accuser’s selfish advantage. It’s a tactic as old as humanity itself, and it perpetuates because A) human nature hasn’t changed and B) it works.

Wendy and I have recently read multiple news articles that have been tracking the stories of individuals accused of sexual harassment during the wave of the #metoo movement a few years ago. It’s messy because the truth is that we live in a world in which individuals truly do use their power to sexually victimize others. Believe me, I’ve been surrounded by women my entire life and I know their stories. At the same time, amidst the many true and well-documented cases of sexual harassment and abuse you’ll find many false accusations that were not true or well-documented. The accusations alone ruined careers and lives because we live in a world in which a well-placed and well-timed accusation is often all that it takes. The human herd follows the accusation and tramples the accused underfoot.

In today’s final chapter, Paul preps the believers in Corinth for his third personal visit to the city. He is the one who has been slandered and accused by others seeking to diminish him for the gain of others. Paul begins his closing statements by quoting a matter of Jewish law. Paul was a well-educated and trained attorney in Jewish law, and Jewish Law since the time of Moses established that accusations required two or three corroborating witnesses. Paul was not about to play the game of condemnation by accusation, and he states this directly.

Likewise, I have learned along my life journey to be hesitant and discerning when others spew slanderous accusations at others. This is especially true in very public and political circumstances, but even in very personal circumstances it’s easy to get carried away with the herd. I have found it wise to quietly ask myself some hard questions before reacting or responding, including the one to which Paul refers.

Is this the accusation or slander of one potentially angry or spiteful individual toward another individual, or are there two-to-three others who can testify?
Why am I being told this accusation at all? Does it truly affect me or things for which I am responsible, or is it just gossip?
Is this an issue of legality, morality, or propriety?
Is there a history or pattern of animosity between the accuser and the accused?
Does the accuser stand to benefit from the diminishment or public condemnation of the accused, even just malicious self-satisfaction?

As I take the time to ponder these questions and others to which they lead, I typically find myself guided to wisdom regarding how I should respond.

Paul is hoping that his friends in Corinth will be similarly led to wisdom regarding the accusations that have been made about him.

Tomorrow: Philemon 1

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Chapter-a-Day

Mentor, Protégé, and Attitude

February 12, 2019 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down.
2 Corinthians 13:10b (NIV)

Both professionally, and personally, I have done quite a bit of coaching and mentoring of others along my life journey. It is a fascinating process and I have learned a lot about myself and others along the way.

In my professional coaching I am typically hired and tasked with mentoring or coaching a person as part of a corporate initiative. Most often, the person has no choice in the matter and so I must begin the coaching relationship gauging the attitude of my protégé. There’s a pretty wide spectrum of attitudes that I encounter from enthusiasm to outright defiance. The most common attitude I find is a mixture of both curiosity and anxiety. I am aware in our first meeting that my protégé is as actively gauging me and my attitude, as well.

One of the things that I typically try to establish from the beginning of a coaching or mentoring relationship is that my goal is to build-up, encourage, equip, and help the individual both develop and become more successful. The path may incorporate me challenging the individual, and I may need to be uncomfortably direct in certain circumstances. Nevertheless, I always want a protégé to know my positive desire and support for his or her well-being and success. I am always for him or her.

Along the way I’ve discovered that there is only so much that I can do to convince a person of my desire and support. There has to be a willingness to have faith in me and accept me at my word. The mentoring relationship doesn’t always work out. Sometimes my protégé can’t get past their own fear, anxiety, or shame. Sometimes I’ve come to recognize and accept that my protégé doesn’t respond well to me, I don’t respond well to him or her, and that there’s an underlying difference in personality or temperament which we may or may not be able to overcome. Other times, the person in my charge simply isn’t ready to change and/or do the work required to develop.

As Paul finishes his letter to the followers of Jesus in Corinth, he recognizes that his tone has been at times harsh and confrontational. Individuals have been speaking out against Paul, questioning his authority, and stirring up dissension among the believers. Paul loves these people. He has been their spiritual mentor for years. The Corinthian believers are his spiritual protégés. As he wraps up his direct and confrontational letter, Paul the mentor reminds his charges of the motivation behind his sometimes direct, challenging words: “for building you up, not tearing you down.”

In the quiet this morning I’m thinking about a conversation Wendy and I had before bed last night. Wendy is an Enneagram Type 8 (“The Challenger”). The truth is that Wendy is an amazing coach of others in her own right. She’s better than me. I’ve observed Wendy, time-and-time-again, helping others reach incredible new levels of development. As the Enneagram Institute puts it, healthy Eights “use their strength to improve others’ lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.” But, just like Paul with the Corinthian believers, the protégé has to be able to see the positive, “I’m for you!” desire behind the mentor’s challenge or it gets lost in anxious, fear-driven translation and gets misinterpreted as destructive criticism.

Today, I’m inspired to continue developing my skills and abilities as a coach. I’m reminded that I want to be a good protégé when I am challenged by others who are for me.

Chapter-a-Day

Spiritual Self-Examination

June 23, 2017 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.
2 Corinthians 13:5a (NIV)

I have basically gone to the same family doctor since I was twelve years old and he pulled a big chunk of a splintered, wooden skateboard out of my left thigh. He’s treated my grandparents, my parents, my siblings, and me for almost 40 years. He’s what I call an “old world doc.” He’s a great diagnostician, he takes the time to listen, and he’s a straight shooter to the point of being uncomfortably blunt.

As I grew up, Doc taught me a lot about self-examination relative to my own health. He taught me that a man’s periodic self-examination for testicular cancer was every bit as important as women doing a self-examination for breast cancer. As I developed a number of moles on my body he took the time to teach me what to be wary of with the regard to skin cancer and encouraged me to pay attention to moles and spots as they appeared over the years. Based on my family history, he would grill me on warning signs for different things that run in the family. He told me of symptoms I didn’t have to worry about and the things I should definitely be worried about if I noticed them.

We all know that self-examination is important to our physical health. We want to catch small problems before they become big ones. In today’s chapter Paul reminds the followers of Jesus in Corinth that spiritual self-examination is critical, as well. I believe it has eternal consequences. Step Four of the Twelve Steps is that we “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Along life’s journey I’ve attended a host of Twelve Step groups and meetings, and I noticed that it is quite common to stall out after Step Three. Self examination was a foreign spiritual (or moral) concept to me at first. It was scary, awkward, and uncomfortable. Searching myself fearlessly and making a thorough moral inventory felt like a lot of work and I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit to or deal with what I might find.

A self-examination of my skin might reveal a fast growing, oddly shaped growth than could indicate a more serious issue with cancer. Testing it, I might not like the blunt news from Doc, but addressing it quickly and early might stave off a premature death. In the same way, I found that a searching and fearless self-examination of the soul leads me to honest conversation, wise counsel, and to addressing relational and behavioral issues that just might stave off both spiritual and relational death.

This morning I did a search for “Step Four Questions” in my favorite browser and I quickly found a host of different lists of questions for adolescents, adults, and Twelve Step groups of different varieties. There is no one magic list. It’s relatively easy for me to pull one up and dive right in.

This morning I’m remembering starting down the path of Step Four for the first time. It was scary, awkward, and uncomfortable when I embarked on the process of writing my answers to the host of questions that had been given to me. What I discovered what that those questions led me to healthy, life-giving places. I’ve never regretted learning the process of self-examination.

Chapter-a-Day

Clear, Concise, and to the Point

September 16, 2013 Tom Vander Well 2 Comments

Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NLT)

I laughed to myself when I heard a preacher admit from his pulpit, “I know that I’m just standing up here saying the same thing over and over.” (I observed that his confession did not lead to a quick conclusion of the message.)

I love messages simply crafted, clearly delivered, which get effectively to the point. As I have read through the letters of Paul, Peter, John, and James countless times I am always struck when they conclude with a quick, and to the point, summation. In today’s chapter, Paul concluded his letter to the believers of Jesus in the city of Corinth with this summation:

Be joyful.
Grow to maturity.
Encourage each other.
Live in harmony and peace.

It’s like a quick check list. Without consciously thinking about it I read this one short list and find myself asking, “How am I doing?” as I read through each bullet. Questions abound. Am I joyful? Why or why not? Am I growing more mature? How do I know? What signs can I point to in my life? Am I encouraging others? Who? How? Am I living in harmony with others? What’s discordant? What is in harmony? Where am I sharp? Where am I flat?

I then find myself seeking one thing I can do today to experience joy, to grow, to encourage or to live in peace and harmony. One thing to keep pressing on towards my goal.

Quick, clear, concise, and to the point.

Got it. Let’s roll.