Tag Archives: Foolish

Chapter-a-Day

Ceaseless Maturation

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Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.
1 Corinthians 14:20 (NIV)

I had a conversation the other day with parents who have a child in their late teens. As with most parents, they were struggling with that fact that this intelligent, capable child regularly makes really stupid choices and foolish decisions. Yep.

I shared with my friends that Wendy and I both observed a major shift in our daughters as they reached their mid-twenties and their brains were fully developed. I learned how much the brain is a part of our maturation process. We don’t control it. It just is.

At the same time, I know fully functioning adults who continue to act like teenagers as if their brains never fully developed. They allow themselves to be led by their self-centered appetites and passions. They repeatedly make foolish life decisions. Their lives are always in chaos. They are perpetually trying to escape the painful consequences of their own childish foolishness.

Paul is dealing with people like this among the Jesus’ followers in Corinth. In today’s chapter, he once again tells the Corinthian believers to “grow up” and stop acting like children.

One of the things I thought as a foolish child was that adults reached a level of complete maturity around the age of 30 and then it was sort of smooth sailing after that. You act like an adult and the rest of life is easy. It was around the age of thirty I started making some of the most foolish and childish life decisions of my entire journey!

As a disciple of Jesus, I’ve had to embrace that the process of growth and maturity never ends. Jesus said He was the Vine and I am a branch of that vine. What healthy plant stops growing, developing new growth, and bearing fruit? So it is with life in the Vine.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about the many ways I still need to prune, water, feed, and cultivate continued spiritual growth and applied wisdom in my life. I do this so that as my aging body wanes my life continues to grow, flourish, and remain spiritually fruitful until the end.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!
Chapter-a-Day

Who I Don’t Want to Be

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Who I Don't Want to Be (CaD Jud 15) – Wayfarer

Samson said to them, “Since you’ve acted like this, I swear that I won’t stop until I get my revenge on you.”
Judges 15:7 (NIV)

Along my life journey, I have known certain individuals who became antithetical life examples for me. In other words, they were individuals whom I regarded as persons I never wanted to be like. It might have been their actions, their attitudes, or the way they treated others. Looking back, I’m grateful for them. I believe there have been waypoints on life’s journey where I was more motivated by who I didn’t want to be as much as I was who I did want to be. God has used both motivations in my story.

This explains the love-hate relationship I’ve always had with the person of Samson. The boy-child in me loves the stories of legendary heroes and superheroes and their save-the-day heroics. Samson’s legendary birth, size, and strength, along with his legendary feats, certainly fit into that category.

The problem is that Samson is a jerk. He’s selfish, impetuous, shallow, reactive, vengeful, and driven by his base appetites. He also makes continuously foolish choices.

It took me a long time to realize that this was the very point God is trying to make in Samson’s story.

Samson’s story is the story of the Hebrew people themselves.

Samson is divinely birthed and set apart from the beginning, just as the Hebrews were going all the way back to God’s promise to Abraham.

Samson was called by God to live differently than everyone else by taking a life-long Nazarite vow never to drink and never to cut his hair, just as the Hebrews were called by God to live differently than all the other people groups around them by keeping His law and commandments.

Samson lustfully desired and chased after Philistine women rather than women from his own tribes, just as the Hebrews lustfully chased after other gods rather than remaining faithful to God.

Samson’s impetuousness and foolish choices perpetually lead to violent and chaotic ends, just as the Hebrews’ foolish alliances and relationships with other nations lead to similar ends.

Samson’s story is the story of the Hebrew people. Samson is an antithetical example. He was special from the beginning. He is God’s man. He is divinely gifted. He has a calling and a purpose. Yet, all he does is act foolishly, get himself into trouble, and live selfishly.

And God continues to bless Samson, give him strength, deliver him, and miraculously provide for him.

“Remind you of anyone?” God is asking His people through the person of Samson.

He’s also asking me the same question as I read the story.

Looking back on my own life, my own story, how many times has God blessed me in ways I never deserved? How many times have I acted selfishly, impetuously, and foolishly? How many times have I allowed my own tragic flaws to get me into trouble even though I know I’m making the same mistake I’ve made before and I know where it leads? How many times have I been unfaithful to what God asks of me, only to have God remain steadfastly faithful to me?

I don’t want to be a Samson!

“Good,” God’s spirit whispers. “I don’t want that either. Remember that today as you live, speak, think, and make decisions. Don’t be a Samson.”

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Wisdom of Those Who’ve Gone Before

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But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him.
2 Chronicles 10:8 (NIV)

Like most young people, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life. As a young man I’d heard God’s calling to be a Messenger and  I made a young man’s naive assumption that this necessitated some kind of full-time vocational ministry. For whatever reason, I decided to go to a handful of my elders who were in pastoral ministry and ask them a question: “If you had the ability to go back and do college all over again, what would you do differently?”

I found it fascinating that the answers I received from different people were eerily similar. They told me that they found much of their their Biblical studies in undergraduate and graduate school to be wasted repetition. “When you go to college, study something you love. Follow your passion and your gifts,” they told me. I listened, and majored in Communication with an emphasis in Theatre. It was one of the best decisions of my life.

One of the great life lessons I learned in that experience was that seeking the advice of those who have gone before me is a wise thing to do.

Solomon’s son Rehoboam had enjoyed a charmed life. He was heir to the throne and was afforded all of the privileges that came with the wealth, opulence, and deference that came with being the one who would succeed his successful father. We can assume that he and his frat-boy buddies grew up getting everything they wanted and being denied little or nothing they desired. In his very first political crisis, Rehoboam makes a classic young person’s mistake. Like me, he received the advice of his elders, but he chose to listen to his homies instead.  He foolishly chose the path of power instead of the path of mercy. He chose pride over humility. It cost him the kingdom and ranks as one of the most memorable and epic fails in recorded history.

This morning I’m looking back at my life and feeling gratitude for the grace that was afforded me to seek and heed wise counsel as a young man. As I transition to a new position of leadership in business this year I realize that seeking the wise counsel of those who’ve gone before me on this path is now almost second nature. I’ve learned that the journey goes much smoother when I seek the wisdom of those who’ve already traversed the section of life’s road I currently find myself trekking.

Chapter-a-Day

The Potter, The Steward, and Two Unique Pots

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Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?
Romans 9:21 (NIV)

On Sunday we had the increasingly rare pleasure of having both Taylor and Madison with us at the same time. The opportunities for the four of us to be together as family are increasingly spread out. It has happened only once or twice a year during the girls college and graduate school sojourns.

A conversation came up yesterday as Maddy Kate and I visited with my folks. “Every mother wants her grown children to live nearby,” it was observed. While I acknowledge that natural desire, I thought to myself that I have always desired for our girls to live wherever God would lead them. I want them to live out their respective roles in the Great Story. I have given up my right to expect that they might keep close to home.

With Taylor out of grad school and Madison done with her bachelor’s degree, it has been fascinating to watch their respective roads emerge. It always amazes me how different children from the same household can be. Taylor will soon enter communal living full time, offering much of her time and energy to service as she pursues a creative project with only speculative income potential. Madison, currently a flight attendant, is avidly pursing a career in corporate sales. I don’t see either of those paths leading back to Pella. C’est la vie.

I do not think either daughter is right or wrong, good or bad, wise or foolish. Taylor’s altruistic path does not make Madison’s path greedy. Madison’s path, which will afford more financial security, does not make Taylor’s path foolhardy. These two lumps of clay are each actively pursuing the purposes of the Potter, who has fashioned them into two very different vessels. Both are beautiful. Both are useful. Both have particular uses the other does not have. Both have a role in the Great story, albeit very different roles.

Today I am once again contemplating the role of parenting with a certain amount of hindsight. To try to control my child’s path and have them choose a path of my self-centered desire is to place myself in God’s shoes and presume omniscience. I’ve discovered that the Creator wears an infinitely larger size shoe than I do. Whenever I try to step into them I always trip over myself in both comic and tragic ways.

God has made me a steward of my children, not their master. My role has been to teach them to love and pursue God. If I accomplish my role, they will each be led to their purposed, respective paths. Like every other aspect of our life journey, this requires faith, just as Jesus said it would.

 

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Heart of Mine

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Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Along my life’s journey I have many times been led astray by my heart which, evidence suggests, has a mind and will of its own. Prone to wander, my heart will easily lead me astray if I am not careful:

  • Enticing relationships that spiral life into chaos
  • Unnecessary acquisitions that end up acquiring me
  • “Sure things” that sure leave me on the short end of the deal
  • Frivolous pursuits which create fruitless waste of time and life
  • Treasure hunts that lead me far astray and leave me empty handed

Jesus said, “Wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” I have discovered that when my heart leads me astray it is because my spirit is at that moment treasuring foolish things. When my spirit is focused on following Jesus, it is easier to keep my heart in step.

I was reminded of the lyrics of this Dylan tune this morning:

Heart of mine so malicious and so full of guile
Give you an inch and you’ll take a mile
Don’t let yourself fall
Don’t let yourself stumble
If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime
Heart of mine
–Heart of Mine lyrics by Bob Dylan (1982) from the album “Shot of Love“)

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Proverbs 9

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Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. 
      Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. 
Proverbs 9:7 (NLT) 

One of the tasks I have in my job is to sit down one-on-one with people, listen to some of their phone calls, and help them learn how they can do a better job serving their customers. It’s not rocket science, but companies recognize that when a customer calls with a question or a need there is moment of truth taking place. That customer will walk away with a distinct impression of the company based on how that associate handled the call. So, I help them make it as positive an interaction as possible.

As you might imagine, I have coached a diverse number of people. Some of them are “mockers” who clearly do not want to be there, listen to little or nothing I have to say, and refuse to change even the simplest of behaviors. I’ve been cussed at, threatened, insulted and had people turn away cross their arms and refuse to look at me. I’ve learned over time that there is little I can do for some people other than to provide them the information as clearly and positively as I can without reacting to their negative behaviors.

Fortunately others are open, teachable and desire to do a great job. They are willing to listen to my feedback and genuinely try to change their behaviors.

I couldn’t help but think of the different people I’ve coached over the years as I read of Wisdom contrasting those who are “mockers” and those who are “wise” in today’s chapter. I’ve seen the difference and I understand why she advises not wasting your time with certain people.

When it comes to work I am paid to coach everyone and to do my best to communicate even with those who will refuse to listen. When it comes to life I have more latitude to focus my time, energy and conversation in relationships that will bring life and fill life’s well. The older I get, the more discerning I become with regard to whom I will interact.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 14

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Violence!
Image by Rickydavid via Flickr

But they went anyway; recklessly and arrogantly they climbed to the high hill country. But the Chest of the Covenant and Moses didn’t budge from the camp. The Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in the hill country came out of the hills and attacked and beat them, a rout all the way down to Hormah. Numbers 14:44-45 (MSG)

This morning I think about the people of Israel acting “recklessly and arrogantly” as they go up to the hill country on their own, even though they were warned against it. As I look back in time, I can see times that I have acted in the same manner. Spurred on by misplaced passion, pride, or selfishness, I have many times acted rashly with little or no thought and prayer about my actions.

The results are generally disastrous.

Following the trail of emotion that is described, which led up to the Israelites rash decision, I see (in order):

Fear
Anger
Pessimism
Discontent
Mob Violence
Guilt
Shame
Sorrow
Fear

Such a range of emotions in such a short period of time. It’s not exactly a recipe for thoughtful, sound decision making.

Today, I’m reminded to be wise in my decisions and actions. Snap decisions and rash actions that emerge out of intense emotion are likely to prove foolish.

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Chapter-a-Day 2 Chronicles 35

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But Josiah was spoiling for a fight and wouldn’t listen to a thing Neco said…. 2 Chronicles 35:22 (MSG)

Just the other night, Wendy and I were talking about times in life when we dive headlong into foolish decisions. We can both look back on life’s journey and point to decisions, relationships, and actions that now make us scratch our heads and shake our heads with incredulity. In retrospect, it’s almost inconceivable how we strike out on our own with blinders on. No one can convince us we’re making a mistake. Our ears are deaf to wisdom.

I’d like to think that time and hard lessons have taught me to recognize when those I trust are providing me fair warning. I hope that I am more willing to realize when my appetites have me driving 90 m.p.h. down a dead end street.

In Josiah’s case, it cost him his life.

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Chapter-a-Day Isaiah 43

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Danger. "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43: 1b-3a (MSG)

I'm in over my head…because I chose to jump in the deep end.

I'm in rough waters…because I dismissed the dark clouds on the far horizon.

I'm between a rock and a hard place…because I just had to check out what was over the edge of the cliff.

Despite my willfulness, in spite of my foolishness, undeterred by my senseless choices, God is there to protect, to save, and to guide.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and squeakywheel