Tag Archives: Self-Control

Chapter-a-Day

An Ambitiously Quiet Life

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An Ambitiously Quiet Life (CaD 1 Thess 4) – Wayfarer

…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NIV)

This past winter and spring our kids and grandkids lived with us for over four months here in Pella, Iowa (see featured photo). They were transitioning back to the States after five years of living in Edinburgh, Scotland.

One day our grandson Milo asked his mother, “Is Papa famous?”

Taylor laughed and asked what prompted the question.

“Everybody knows him,” he replied.

Welcome to a small town, young man.

I have been doing a lot of online networking for business in recent weeks, having Zoom calls with people from all over North America. As we introduce one another, I find that the vast majority of them live in cities, with most of them located on either one of the coasts. When I tell them I live in a little town in Iowa, they often react with surprise. Some will even ask me about it, typically stating that they couldn’t do it and it would be too boring for them. This is often followed by a statement about needing a lot of things to do and places to go for activity and entertainment.

Fascinating.

In today’s chapter, Paul shifts the theme of his letter from personal matters (e.g. discussion of Timothy’s visit and his longing to make a personal visit of his own) to instructions in life for the spiritually young Jesus followers in Thessalonica.

Paul’s first instruction was to avoid sexual immorality. Keep in mind that generally loose sexual mores and attitudes were a hallmark of ancient Greece. As one historian described sex in the city of Athens (where Paul is writing this letter):

“Relationships between men of the same age were not at all common: rather, the standard same-sex relationship would involve an adolescent boy and an older man. Men also used female prostitutes regularly: sex could be bought cheaply in a city that was home to countless brothels, streetwalkers and female ‘entertainers’.”

Paul urges the Thessalonian believers to produce the fruit of self-control in sexual matters for their own spiritual, and physical, well-being.

He then goes on to repeat his encouragement that I wrote about in yesterday’s post, which is to increase in love “more and more.” But he then adds a general instruction for daily life, encouraging them to make it their “ambition” to lead a “quiet life.”

…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

It was about thirty years ago that these verses first leaped off the page and into my soul. This passage has become somewhat of a guide and a mission. I didn’t think about it when I moved to a small town from the city where I’d spent most of my life, but in retrospect, I find that it was definitely synergistic.

Yes, my life is quieter. I can get anywhere I need in ten minutes or less. I like seeing people I know everywhere. I love that people know my name when I walk into the store, a restaurant, or the pub. I love that the guys at George’s Pizza begin making our pizza as soon as they see our car pull up on Sunday. I love not dealing with the traffic, crime, and cost of a city. And, despite not having all the available activity and entertainment options of a city, Wendy and I never lack things to do nor do we ever feel that our entertainment tank is on empty.

Paul’s words to the Thessalonians have been instrumental in my life journey. I have made it my ambition to lead a quieter life, and it has greatly increased the quality of my life. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. I don’t think one has to live in a small town to have a quieter life. I’m just saying that I have found it to personally be part of my own journey in being ambitious for more quiet.

And, in the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking of the ambitions I observe in our adventure-seeking, adrenaline-addicted, YOLO culture. I observe individuals who are so ambitious for non-stop activity and entertainment that they never have time to figure out why their relationships aren’t working, their soul feels so empty, or their minds are so constantly afraid and anxious. The answers to those things require contemplation, introspection, and conversation (and I would add prayer), and those things require quiet.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Responding and Reacting

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Responding and Reacting (CaD Rom 12) – Wayfarer

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:19-21 (NIV)

This past weekend, the world was stunned when the opening ceremony of the Olympics featured what appeared to be a parody of Da Vinci’s The Last Supper using drag queens and a large lady with a plunging neckline in place of Jesus. There have been all sorts of reactions to the scene, but it came to mind this morning as I read today’s chapter.

I will admit that my initial reaction was one of shock then offended anger. I scrolled my feed on X to see how people were responding. I ran across one tweet from a young Muslim woman. “As a Muslim, even I am offended by this. Where are you Christians? Why are you so weak?”

As a disciple of Jesus, however, I don’t want to be a slave to my emotional reactions but rather respond in the Spirit. So rather than spew my rage to the masses, I took some time to ponder the French parody and how Jesus would respond. Here are the conclusions I came to.

Jesus would not be surprised at all by it. In fact, He told me that this is exactly the thing I should expect from the world. Here are a couple of key statements:

“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.”
Matthew 24:9

“Everyone will hate you because of me.”
Luke 21:17

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
John 15:18-19

…in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God.
John 16:2b

“But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’”
John 15:25

Jesus asks me to respond differently than the world reacts. Anger, rage, and retribution are the ways of the world. To me, this silly mockery is a metaphorical slap in the face, and a classic opportunity to respond in the very way Jesus taught me.

God does not need me to be His avenger. A few years ago, the offices of Charlie Hebdo in France were attacked and the workers were massacred by Muslim terrorists. They did this because the French satire magazine parodied Mohammed in a comic. I wondered, “Is this what the Muslim young lady thinks Christians should do so as not to be ‘weak?'” Jesus made it very clear that God can handle vengeance on His own without my help, and that my job is to love, bless, and pray for those who mock, hate, and persecute.

The very heart of Jesus’ example and teaching is that real spiritual strength is found in what the world perceives as weakness. Jesus willingly surrendered Himself to be crucified and said that I should take up my own cross and follow His example. Resurrection power does not come from marching in the streets, taking up arms, political leverage, or trending social media outrage. Resurrection power only comes through death. Sometimes that means I have to die to my desire or need for a sense of justice, or revenge, or self-righteous satisfaction.

In the quiet this morning, I’m thinking about an article I read yesterday in the Free Press in which the author commented that the people who should really be angry are not the Christians, but the citizens of France who had a chance to show the world the best they’ve got to offer with regards to art and culture and have to ask themselves “Is this is the best we could come up with?” In the meantime, I’m not too worked up about it. I have people to love, clients to serve, and a bunch of meetings today in which I hope to be an example of Jesus’ loving kindness and self-control.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

When to Say “Enough”

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When to Say "Enough" (CaD Jer 5) – Wayfarer

They are well-fed, lusty stallions,
    each neighing for another man’s wife.
Jeremiah 5:8 (NIV)

Wendy and I have been listening to a really great podcast of late that explores the Bible from the perspective of the original Hebrew language. I know it doesn’t sound like everyone’s cup of tea, but it is actually very fascinating.

There was something that was mentioned in the very first episode of that podcast that has stuck with me ever since I heard it. After creating the universe in six days, God rests on the seventh. The commentator pointed out that God rested, not because He was tired, but because “God knows when to say ‘enough.'”

The point is that the problems of humanity, beginning with Adam and Eve’s original bite of the forbidden fruit, are really about appetite control. We don’t know when to say “enough.”

I have a natural appetite for food for survival, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” it turns into gluttony.

I have a natural appetite for sex for procreation and intimacy, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” it turns into destructive lust.

I have a natural appetite for the things I need to survive, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” it turns into greed.

I have a natural appetite for justice, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” it turns into wrath.

I have an appetite for rest, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” it turns into sloth.

I was designed to live in harmony and community with others, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” I become envious of them, their possessions, and/or their lives.

I am made in the image of God and designed to live in communion with God, but when I don’t know when to say “enough” my pride leads to me wanting to be my own god.

In today’s chapter, Jeremiah describes his idolatrous people as “lusty stallions” (btw: Am I the only one who immediately thought of Bill and Ted?) in reference to the overtly sexual nature and practices of many of the pagan gods his people didn’t want to give up. The metaphor points to humans being driven by their appetites like an animal in heat, instead of controlling them. Instead of being able to say “enough.”

In the quiet this morning, I was reminded of the “fruits of the Spirit” – the qualities that are supposed to be increasingly evident in my life as I follow the path of Jesus. The list of character qualities begins with the preeminent love and it’s anchored with the quality of self-control. In other words, as I grow in my relationship with Jesus (the Alpha through whom everything was created), I should increasingly exhibit the very quality He expressed from the beginning of creation on the seventh day: knowing when to say “enough.”

And with that thought, I believe I’ve written enough this morning.

Have a great day, my friend.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Well-Worn Playbook

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The Well-Worn Playbook (CaD 2 Pe 2) – Wayfarer

They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.”
2 Peter 2:19 (NIV)

The Great Story is, at its heart, a story of good and evil. The evil one tempts Adam and Eve into disobeying God’s demand by questioning God’s goodness and promising them that they will be “like God” if they just have a taste of that forbidden fruit.

The punishment is their expulsion from the Garden and fellowship with God to live and die in the world, where the “Prince of this World,” as Jesus referenced the Evil One, has dominion over the kingdoms of this world. Before starting his mission, Jesus and the Prince of this World met, and Jesus faced the same basic temptations used against Adam and Eve (the Evil One’s playbook is really pretty basic). He offered to give Jesus all the “kingdoms of this world” if he would merely bow and worship. Jesus passed on the offer. The night before He was crucified, Jesus told His followers that the “Prince of this World” stood condemned. His sacrificial death and resurrection was righting a wrong on a grand scale.

The final chapters of the Great Story tell of the climactic confrontation of God and evil. It’s an end, and then a new beginning, which is yet another recurring theme in the Great Story.

Along my life journey, I’ve tried to be mindful of this foundational conflict as I interpret all that see and experience along the way. God is Love, and that Love is the source of life and goodness. Evil is an oppositional force. It opposes all that God is, and does, and desires. God is love, and so evil sows hatred. God is for life, thus evil gloats in death. God is about goodness and order, and so evil rejoices in destruction and chaos.

In today’s chapter, Peter is writing to the first century followers of Christ about the oppositional forces that were already at work to disrupt the powerful impact that their faith, expressed through Christ’s love in action was having in the world. Individuals with selfish and evil motives were leading Jesus’ followers astray. Interestingly enough, one of the tactics Peter mentions is their promise of freedom. He states that these false teachers were telling people that they are free to indulge any and all of their appetites (both the Greeks and Romans were famous for indulging all their appetites in creative and unrestrained ways). Peter warned them to be wary of this deceit.

Jesus is often quoted: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Rarely do I hear the previous sentence quoted with it: “You are truly my disciples if you do what I tell you. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

See the oppositional forces at work? Evil tells me “indulge your appetites and you’ll experience freedom,” though what I end up experiencing is self-focused indulgence which leads me into slavery to my own appetites and all the destructive consequences that go with it (personally, relationally, physically, spiritually, and mentally). In contrast, simple obedience to Jesus’ law of love, which gets expressed in part by the spiritual fruit of self-control keeps me free of those destructive consequences so that all the other fruit of love (goodness, kindness, etc.) has room to pour out of me into others.

In the quiet this morning, I couldn’t help but recall a Tweet I saw yesterday from a celebrity and former Disney star:

Again, the playbook is pretty basic. “Indulge your appetites and you will experience freedom.” As the Sage of Ecclesiastes says, “There’s really nothing new under the sun.” And yet, I’ve never found anything really free or good traveling down any alley of indulgence. Pleasure? Certainly. But that’s fleeting and then requires another fix to feel it again, then a bigger fix, and then yet another even bigger fix. I like the way Bob Dylan described it: “A bad motorcyle with the devil in the seat, going ninety-miles an hour down a dead-end street.”

And so, I press on in this earthly journey one more day, choosing the path that Jesus prescribed to freedom. As for me, I have yet to be disappointed on this path, nor has it ever led me down a dead-end street.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Embodying Wisdom and Love

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My son, pay attention to what I say;
    turn your ear to my words.
Proverbs 4:20 (NIV)

This coming Sunday I’m scheduled to deliver the message among our local gathering of Jesus’ followers. The assigned topic is “self-control” which is the final “fruit of the Spirit” Paul lists in his letter to the believers in Galatia:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

One of the key things on which I’ve been meditating of late is the fact that in the original language and among the earliest manuscripts of Paul’s letter there is a stop after the word “love.” The implication is that love is the fruit and all that is listed after are, in fact, descriptors of love. No surprise. In fact, in Paul’s famous description of love in his letter to the believers in Corinth, he describes love with many of the same adjectives.

As I contemplate self-control, the most obvious definitions that spring to mind are abstaining from immoral acts and/or avoiding the indulgence of unhealthy appetites. But then I began to think about self-control specifically it in terms of loving others well, and it changed my thinking.

In today’s chapter, King Solomon continues to implore his children to seek wisdom. At the end of the chapter he uses the parts of the body to describe how one seeks after wisdom:

  • Ears the pay attention to what is said
  • Eyes that are focused and searching after wisdom
  • A heart that is guarded from wandering into foolish places
  • A mouth that speaks good things, not bad
  • Feet that choose wise paths

As I mulled this over, I began to realize that these metaphors could also be just as easily applied to how I apply self-control in the loving of others (and here I examine, specifically, the love I show to Wendy, our children, my family, my friends, as well as strangers and enemies):

  • Ears that listen to another’s thoughts, feelings, and needs
  • Eyes that are focused and seeking out what another needs
  • A heart that is guarded from things that would hurt another
  • A mouth that knows when to speak, when to be silent, and speaks words that build up, encourage, and heal another
  • Feet that keep oneself alongside another

In the quiet this morning I find myself contemplating the connection between the daily choices I make in the use of my body (my ears, my eyes, my mouth, my heart, my brain, my hands, my feet) and both wisdom and love.

I am reminded this morning of one of the verses that I, as a young man, memorized and chose as words I wanted my entire life journey to embody:

Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.

1 John 3:18 (TLB)

featured image from KandM Classroom