Tag Archives: Scream

God’s Response

The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘After you enter the land I am giving you as a home…”
Numbers 15:1-2a (NIV)

As I look back over the past three-to-five years, I realize that I have experienced more reactionary, emotional outbursts from other human beings than perhaps in the rest of my half-century of cognitive memory on this earthly journey. I have been yelled at, angrily accused of things, told off, and been given angry lists of demands and expectations of others. I tend to think that a cocktail of brain-altering technology, a global pandemic, and political polarization have all contributed to the acute increase in these experiences.

As this happens, I have found myself relying on a lifetime of spiritual discipline in order to try to respond to these moments appropriately. In kind reactions tend to only escalate situations and perpetuate the problem. As a disciple of Jesus, I desire to respond with the fruit of God’s Spirit as I am called to do. That means responding with a demonstration of peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness.

There is something telling about the way individuals respond to their circumstances in light of the words, actions, and/or behavior of others. Is there reactive rage of defensiveness? Cries of vengeance? Or, is there a gracious response?

In yesterday’s chapter, God’s people rejected His promise and command to enter the Promised Land. They turned against Moses and Aaron. They attempted to go it on their own without God.

Today’s chapter begins with God giving Moses instructions for how things are to be established when His people enter the Promised Land. It will be in another 40 years. It will be the next generation, but God provides instructions. For an old man like Moses, this likely felt ridiculous. It’s a long ways away. For God, who exists outside of time, and with whom “a thousand years is like a day,” forty-years nothing. And, there is a message in the madness of these instructions being given on the heels of the Hebrews’ rebellion:

“I will fulfill my covenant, and my promise to Abraham.”
“I
will fulfill my promise to my people.”
“Their doubt and decision is a delay, my decision and promise
remain.”

It’s a messy thing about the free will with which God gifted His human creation. We don’t control others. Others may use their free will to do all sorts of destructive things. The only thing I control is whether I react in kind and escalate the descent to chaos, or whether I willfully respond the way Jesus taught me, by returning curses with blessings, turning the other cheek, and loving my enemies.

In today’s chapter, God’s faithful and forward looking response to His own people’s faithless and backwards looking decisions provides me an example to remember the next time I find myself under emotionally reactive attack.

Sadly, I have a feeling I’m not done experiencing these kinds of situations for the foreseeable future.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Getting it Out

Getting it Out (CaD Ps 58) Wayfarer

Then people will say,
    “Surely the righteous still are rewarded;
    surely there is a God who judges the earth.”
Psalm 58:11 (NIV)

My buddy, Spike, and I have a friendly on-going conversation about baseball. Spike is a life-long fan of the New York Yankees. He even tried to get me to be a fan in our younger years. He bought me a subscription to a Yankees fan magazine one year. While I will always appreciate and respect his passion, he failed to convert me.

In baseball fandom, the Yankees are that team that everyone loves to hate. It’s the same kind of schadenfreude that America has had for New England Patriots the last ten years. Baseball, however, is a much older sport and the animosity runs much deeper. The Yankees are a team that everyone loves to hate, and when it comes time for the postseason I believe that there are millions of baseball fans who, next to their favorite team, will cheer for “any team but the Yankees.” Spike argues that having a team that is the Darth Vader of the sport is actually good for the sport and that the Yankees serve a legitimate and healthy purpose in this. I’ll leave that argument for meaningless conversation to have over a pint at the pub.

Still, I have noticed that in the passion and emotions that sports stirs up in people, it is common to have that rival, that enemy team, about whom you feel intense negative emotion. And when you lose, again, to that hated rival you curse them and secretly hope the worst for them even though you know it’s silly and rather meaningless behavior for an adult in a world where there are legitimately other things we should really care about. Nevertheless, sometimes like screaming into a pillow, it feels good to exorcise those negative emotions. It reminds me of a friend of Wendy’s and mine who, as a mother of young children, admitted that some days she sneaks out into the garage to scream profanities that she just has to get out.

Today’s chapter, Psalm 58, is part of a genre of ancient lyrics known by scholars as “imprecatory” songs. To “imprecate” means to “call down curses on another person or persons.” It was a common practice among cultures in the Ancient Near East. For modern readers of the Great Story, imprecatory psalms can be tough to stomach. The language, anger, rage, and emotion of the lyrics are raw. In one verse of David’s lyrics, he asks God to make the wicked like a stillborn baby who never sees life.

Two things I noted as I meditated on David’s lyrical curses in the quiet this morning. First, the focus of David’s curses are wicked, rich rulers who rig the system and don’t care anything about the poor, the needy, and the socially outcast. He’s cursing the injustices of this world and those who propagate them. It’s really the same anger we’ve seen in protests and riots this year.

The second thing is that David is taking his righteous anger, rage, and emotions to God in song. He’s not taking out vengeance himself. He’s not violently taking matters into his own hand. He’s not rooting out the wicked who inspire his rant and executing them which, depending on the time this song was written, he had both the authority and ability to do. Like a young mother screaming F-bombs to her minivan in an empty garage, David is exorcising his emotions to God, who is neither shocked nor surprised by our emotions.

In that way, I think Spike has a good point that it’s good to have a bad guy on whom we exorcise those negative emotions. Along this life journey, I’ve come to acknowledge that I can’t avoid anger. Even Jesus got righteously angry, and Paul told the followers of Jesus in Ephesus not that anger is wrong or bad, but what we do with it. Psalm 58 and the imprecatory psalms were the ancient Hebrews way of getting it out. And, on this post-election morning, it’s not lost on me that there may be many people who need to exorcise some negative emotions in a healthy way.

Spike has often told me “it’s not an official World Series if the Yankees aren’t in it.”

If you’ll excuse me, I think I left something in the garage.

Warrior’s Cry

Matthew Warrior

My friend Matthew and I are putting together a workshop for men called “More Than Conquerors” next month at Westview Church in Waukee. We originally did the workshop a few years ago in Pella so we’re in the process of updating it for a new audience. The basic idea is that as a man I’m supposed to experience this sense of being a winner, a victor, and God says I’m “more than a conqueror,” but then I get totally overwhelmed by the fact that the IKEA instructions have no words. So, we dig into that dilemma with the guys.

Yesterday we shot some media for promotional material. I had Matthew (who is a rather gentle, somewhat introverted Marriage and Family Therapist) put on war paint and got him to give me his best warrior scream for this photo.

I liked the result.

Chapter-a-Day Ezra 3

Fan
Image by Kurt Christensen via Flickr

All the people boomed out hurrahs, praising God as the foundation of The Temple of God was laid. As many were noisily shouting with joy, many of the older priests, Levites, and family heads who had seen the first Temple, when they saw the foundations of this Temple laid, wept loudly for joy. People couldn’t distinguish the shouting from the weeping. The sound of their voices reverberated for miles around.  Ezra 3:11-13 (MSG)

As I read about the loud, demonstrative worship of the Israelites in today’s chapter, I asked myself when I’d felt such a rush of emotion that I felt I had to scream. Just recently I got the call that my sister’s cancer was in remission and her PET scan came back clear. That created an instant shout of joy from the depths of my soul. Sports probably creates that rush of emotions as much as any other common human experience. I remember the miracle on ice in 1980 and watching the gold medal ice hockey game with my dad. It was perhaps the only hockey game I’ve watched in its entirety in my life, but I remember screaming for joy and jumping up and down when the United States won.

From the intensly personal issues of life and death (a family member with cancer) to the things that are trivial in the grand scheme of life (a hockey game), we can feel things with such intensity that we have to let it out. I wonder why it is that over the centuries we’ve stuffed the most critical and eternal spiritual matters into a box of social propriety.

For much of my faith journey I would describe my weekly public worship experience as exactly what I was taught as a child it should be: proper, cerebral and emotionless. Then, about ten years ago or so, God started a work in me. It started with tears. Each week I found it more and more impossible to stop the tears from pouring out of me during worship. Then came singing. Not just the stand there and mumble along singing, but the “sing it at the top of your lungs with your whole heart because you want God to hear your voice all the way up in the throne room of heaven” kind of singing.

Not every worship experience is intensely emotional, but I’ve learned over time that authentic worship of God requires all of my being. Not just my posterior in the pew and mental engagement, but my entire body, my spirit, my mind, my emotions and my voice. The more I fully engage in worship, the more meaningful it becomes to my daily journey.

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