Tag Archives: Communication

Chapter-a-Day Acts 21

The next day Paul went with us to meet with James, and all the elders of the Jerusalem church were present. After greeting them, Paul gave a detailed account of the things God had accomplished among the Gentiles through his ministry. Acts 21:18-19 (NLT)

I’ve been excited to read the e-mails and blog posts from my daughter, Taylor, and her husband, Clayton, from their three month internship in Uganda. It’s been interesting to read how they are discovering that what we read/hear on this side of the Atlantic does not always connect or completely translate the reality of the situation there:

Clayton and I have felt very privileged to be a part of what CV is doing. They are truly an incredible organization. The girls that graduated from the program and work here in the house speak so highly of it. It’s so hard for me to believe that these precious, giggly, dedicated young women were once child soldiers or wives. Clayton and I came here feeling so versed and knowledgeable of the LRA, Joseph Kony, the war, etc but we found ourselves quickly humbled. Who would have thought that the media would misinform us so much?! 😉 We can tell you all those stories some other time, but we have definitely gained a new perspective. Taylor Boeyink, e-mail 5/19/2012

I just don’t want any of these beautiful, precious ladies to think we’re plucking their stories to wear around our necks like some trophy. And this isn’t about my research project or my degree. It’s not ME. MINE. I. I never want their pain to be a picture for my slideshow or have their home feel like a tourist attraction. Its possible I am way overanalyzing this, but that’s how I feel. It’s one thing to read the stories out of a book and another to look into the eyes of the story teller. Like walking on glass. 

It is easy to see how Aid and ignorance has brought ruin to this place. We, as Westerners, might come to give, but we can also come to stake out our destiny. Ours is a history of dominance. Always the explorer, the colonizer in our blood, and it is hard to run away from when we’ve been so “blessed”. We come with our visions and strategies, our opinions and ideals, and without meaning to, we impose them. We think we know the way and we think we know how to do it better and more efficiently then the next person. And it comforts me to know that Child Voice recognizes this and does everything in its power to NOT follow those footsteps. All the staff here is local and they give local people jobs and truly take into consideration what is best for the girls at their center. Also, I’m not saying Westerners aren’t capable of shedding new light onto something or having good ideas. The depleted and dependent often need a helping hand, but we also need to empower and not overpower. But I’ve seen what a huge transition some of these girls have made and they are really healing and pressing forward. It’s remarkable and makes me so proud to be a part of the work that is being done here. Taylor Boeyink, posted on Gone to Gulu 5/22/2012

In today’s chapter, Paul discovers that the believers and elders in Jerusalem are living in a very different reality than those in the remote provinces of Greece where he’d been traveling and teaching. One gets the sense that the leadership in Jerusalem, while encouraged by Paul’s work, did not completely understand what Paul had been experiencing on his journeys and in the provinces, nor the everyday reality of believers living in Greece.

So often our perspective is framed only by what the camera lets us see, what the writer pens, or what the editor allows in print. It’s quite likely that James and the elders in Jerusalem would have a different perspective if they’d spent some time with the believers in Ephesus or Philippi rather than just listening to Paul’s oral report. “It’s one thing to read stories out of a book [or newspaper or blog post or see them on television or YouTube] and another to look into the eyes of the storyteller.” Very often, there is no substitute for going to see, hear and experience things for yourself.

Chapter-a-Day 2 Thessalonians 3

American 'divided back' postcard, 1916
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May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 (NLT)

I like postcards. For Christmas this year I received a total of 230 postcards as gifts. There’s the set of 100 classic covers from Vanity Fair. Then the set of 100 covers from Star Wars comic books. Finally, I received the set of 30 postcards featuring travel related photographs. I love it. I’m a postcard guy.

  • Sending a personal card is always and will forever be more personal, intimate and meaningful than electronic communication.
  • A postcard is the snail-mail version of Twitter. It forces you to refine what you have to say to a zen like essence, but without being so black and white about it. With a postcard, you can write really small and fit more in when you need to do so.
  • It’s a simple gift. Everyone loves getting something personal in the mail.

Perhaps that’s part of the value for me in postcards. The further I get in the journey the more I appreciate the power of being able to package enormous truths in small packages. I like people who can powerfully get their message across in a well crafted, postcard-like, summary. I find myself having less and less patience for those who talk or write incessantly without really saying anything.

Which, is why the verse above jumped off the page at me this morning. It is such a great example of packing a lot of life lesson in postcard-like fashion: Love and endurance. Say what you will, this journey boils down to love and endurance.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a postcard to write.

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Chapter-a-Day Zechariah 6

Effect of prevailing wind on a coniferous tree...
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Then he called to me and said, “Look at them go! The ones going north are conveying a sense of my Spirit, serene and secure. No more trouble from that direction.” Zechariah 6:8 (MSG)

We live in interesting times. Technology, mass media, and communication have given our generation a better “global” perspective than any before it. A major event happens in a remote location on the other side of the world and in minutes everyone can have news, photographs and streaming video of the event thanks to the internet and sattelites.

As I read today about God sending out the one angel chariot Zechariah saw in his vision to send “a sense of [God’s] spirit,” I was reminded of efforts being made by many to track where God’s spirit is moving. Throughout history, great movements we’ve come to tag as “revivals” have been documented and chronicled. Huge numbers of people place their faith in Christ, lives are changed, miracles reported and local cultures are impacted. With the use of available technology, some are attempting to chronicle where God’s spirit is moving around the globe.

It is interesting to note that God has always referred to His Spirit in terms of the wind. When Jesus poured out His Spirit on his followers he breathed on them. When the Holy Spirit poured out on the masses in Acts 2 it came with the sound of a gale force wind. God’s Spirit blows where it will. It cannot be seen, but the effects of its presence become obvious to those in its midst and in its wake, like the tree pictured.

I’ve been told by friends who follow these things that God’s Spirit seems to be moving in the southern and eastern hemispheres in a big way. Today, I’m praying for God’s Spirit to move into my area like a great tropical depression.

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Day 20: The Last Argument You Had

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30 Day Blogging Challenge Day 20: The last argument you had.

I had to think hard about this one. Because Wendy and I work together, play together, live together, and sleep together, we are around each other all of the time. Our daily arguments are summer cloudbursts: they arrive without warning, are largely inconsequential, are gone before you know it and then they are quickly forgotten. Thus, I had to think hard to remember one.

This past Friday I remember coming downstairs in the early evening. Wendy asked me in a curt tone if I had made any decisions about supper. I immediately felt snippy and replied in matching curtness that I didn’t know it was my responsibility to decide anything about supper to which Wendy complained in some fashion that I’d been upstairs in my office (and, I guess, clearly not communicating about supper). We then dropped the snippy tone and decided on something to eat.

That was it. Shocking, I know.

Does anyone know of a good marriage counselor? 🙂

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Chapter-a-Day Deuteronomy 10

Expectations
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So now Israel, what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I’m commanding you today—live a good lifeDeuteronomy 10:12-13 (MSG)

This past Sunday Wendy and I did a short reader’s theatre type piece for church. In the piece I was referred to as “the old man.” I got a lot of grief for it on Sunday morning and people are still joking about it. The truth is, at this stage of the journey my hair is getting gray and I am one of the old men in comparison to the wonderful throng of young people in the service we attend.

Consistently being around those who are a few leagues behind me on life’s road, I begin to see in comparison how life and experience have begun to hone me. Some things in life don’t bother me the way they did before. Things that I think are vital are different than they were twenty years ago. My priorities and my perspective has changed since the days of scurrying around trying to figure out what it meant to be a man in my twenties and early thirties.

One thing I have learned is that when I am asked to participate in a project, to take a position, or begin a working relationship I want to know exactly what is expected of me. Where’s the job description? Let’s agree, before we begin, what you expect and what I will deliver. Almost every human conflict arises out of miscommunication, so let’s be clear before we enter into this relationship. Otherwise, this whole thing could go very badly.

I like that God boiled things down for His followers. When life gets crazy and I find myself feeling confused, my spirit is apt to blurt with frustration: “What is it you want from me, God?”

“Just this,” God whispers to my spirit, repeating what He’s told me before. Indeed, repeating what He’s been saying since back in the days of Moses, “Live. Live in my presence. Stick to the road and press on. Love me. Serve me with everything you’ve got. Be obedient. Live. Live well.”

Thanks, God. Thanks for the reminder. Nice job description.

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Chapter-a-Day Matthew 19

Coffee Argument
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But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Matthew 19:11 (MSG)

On Sunday night, after a long day and a trip to Des Moines, Wendy and I returned home and got into an argument. Little arguments pop up on any given day. They come and go like a cloudburst on a warm summer afternoon; They quickly emerge out of nowhere and are just as quickly forgotten. Then there are the arguments that build like a perfect storm and you unexpectedly find yourselves embroiled in a conversation that runs deep into the heart of who you are as individuals, and who you are together as a couple. The storm raged back and forth until after midnight on Sunday as we navigated our way through the tossing waves of intention, thought, emotion, notion and behavior.

Wendy and I don’t just have a good marriage, we have a great marriage. And still, at times, it’s really difficult to wade through the muck that’s created when two selfish, sinful human beings get together. We’re both good communicators and we still find it difficult at times to navigate the relational mine field of marriage.

I’ve lived through the long struggle and pain of a failed marriage. I’ve now experienced the blessing of a truly great marriage relationship. Through it all, I’ve come to better understand and truly believe Jesus’ words about marriage. We live in a culture dedicated to exactly the opposite of Jesus’ teaching: everyone should get married, and if you don’t there’s something wrong with you. That’s a huge load of b.s. We might publicly shout “amen” to Jesus’ words, but in practice we run to on-line dating services, play matchmaker to our unmarried friends and family, and secretly wonder “I wonder why he/she is still not married” as if being single is abnormal.

Marriage isn’t for everyone. Many people are better off single. We shake our heads in disgust at the divorce rate in our culture. Yet, aren’t we to blame when we treat marriage as a relational idol, bowing to the notion that marriage is to be honored without question even when the individuals getting married are setting sail into a perfect relational storm inside a dinghy that looks like swiss cheese?  Are we to blame for the divorce rate when we treat singleness as a cultural disease and make single people feel second rate? How many failed marriages begin with desperate individuals jumping at any chance to have a wedding and get married?

I’ll step off my soap box now.

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Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 24

God showed me two baskets of figs placed in front of the Temple of God. Jeremiah 24:1 (MSG)

God is Creator. God is creative. God expresses Himself endlessly in what He’s created and what He continues to create.

We are made in the image of the Creator. We are children of the Creator. We are creative. We express ourselves in our words, thoughts, and our actions; Made in the image of the Creator, we express ourselves in what we create.

It is no wonder that word pictures and metaphors are such powerful tools of communication.

Take a message and say it plainly: The best and brightest are going into exile, and they will flourish. Those left are rotten, and will be thrown out as useless. The message is simple and straightforward enough. But, then you wrap it in a word picture: Look at the figs in those baskets. Make the connection. See the ripe, tasty, figs. Those are the exiles. See the rotten, moldy, maggoty figs. Those are the rulers left in Jerusalem. Now the message takes on new depth and power because we’ve wrapped it in new layers of understanding. In the figs we can visualize the contrast between ripe and rotten. The lesson now has texture. We can taste it. We can small the rotteness of the bad figs. In the word picture, the message gains communicative power.

The best communicators are those who understand the power of word pictures; They wield metaphor like master craftsmen. If you’re struggling to express yourself, the key is to find the right word picture for your message.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and mythoto

Chapter-a-Day Luke 10

Painting by Bueckelaer via Flickr and Jim Forest

As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen

. Luke 10:38-39 (MSG)

My wife, Wendy, and I are blessed to spend more time together than most couples I know. We both work out of a home office, so a normal day is spent in the house together. We eat breafast together, we eat lunch together, and we eat dinner together. If I take a break from my work, I usually walk down stairs to talk to Wendy. Much of our free time is spent working together on stage or in administrating the local community theatre. We worship together and serve together on the visual tech team at church. Wendy and I have an intimate relationship that is built on the foundation of shared time, shared space, shared interest, and shared conversation.

The story of Mary and Martha, and the simple lesson of it, keeps popping in my path the past few weeks. I was reminded of it once again in worship yesterday morning. So often I approach my relationship with Jesus like Martha, in which my relationship is really about doing things around him. Yet, Mary had the more initimate relationship with Jesus because she spent time centered on conversation with him.

My relationship with Jesus and my relationship with my wife are really no different. If I want to find intimacy in the relationship, then it’s going to require a foundation of time, proximity, and focused communication.