Tag Archives: Behavior

Chapter-a-Day

Loving Well in the Midst of Differences

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What's left of the meat market in Corinth (source: GloBible)
What’s left of the meat market in Corinth (source: GloBible)

Chapter-a-Day 1 Corinthians 8

And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. 1 Corinthians 8:12 (NLT)

Keep in mind when reading books like 1 Corinthians that they were originally handwritten letters. In the case of Corinthians, it was a letter from Paul to the followers of Jesus in the Greek city of Corinth. Paul spent 18 months there sharing the Message about Jesus and building up a small but faithful group of believers. Paul moved on to other cities and regions. As with any group of humans, conflicts and differences arose among the new Corinthian believers. Word reached Paul about some of these conflicts and he wrote this letter to his friends to address these differences.

Back in the day when Paul was writing his letter the city of Corinth was largely pagan, and a person could visit any number of pagan temples in the city. They were mostly temples to the various Greek and Roman gods we all studied in English Lit and Western Civ classes. Corinth had two large temples, one to Apollo and one to Aphrodite. As part of the pagan worship rituals, animals would be sacrificed and the meat would be cooked up for a feast with the temple priests and wealthy patrons. Leftovers were taken to the local meat market and sold to the public.

A conflict rose up among the followers of Jesus in Corinth. Should you buy or eat meat that had been part of a pagan sacrifice? Some said it was no big deal and felt free to eat it. Others felt strongly that they were defiling themselves by eating it. While this is not a burning controversy in our American culture today, it doesn’t take me long to come up with a number of similar conflicts we have today about social behaviors and appropriateness.

I’m not a very legalistic person. At least, I’m not any more. I’ve become increasingly less so with age. Having meandered through God’s Message these past 30 years or so, it’s become clear to me that the people who ticked Jesus off the most were the religious legalists.  Note to self: Don’t be one of those guys. Put me in Corinth and I would likely be found hanging out with the pagans and enjoying a nice steak without thinking a thing of it.

But, there is danger inherent in freedom for ourselves and for others. Freedom can easily creep into destructive license. Also, followers of Jesus are called not only to look out for our own needs, but also the needs of others. This includes the needs of our fellow believers, some of whom have a distinctly religious legalist bent. Exercising my freedom can confuse, discourage and trip up another believer. I have a responsibility to be respectful of others and their beliefs, even when “other” refers to fellow believers with whom I disagree about the appropriateness of certain social behaviors. I am not to be led by my “right” to exercise my freedom, but by love for others. This may require me to circumstantially choose to curb my freedom in order to graciously love and respect a fellow believer.

Today, I’m reminded of how difficult it can be to navigate human relationships. When do you speak? When do you shut up? When do you prod? When do you pull back? When do you choose in? When do you choose out? It takes wisdom, humility, deference, and a lot of love in order to do it well. God, please give me these in abundant measure.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 2

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vlag van de provincie Zuid Holland
Image by Gerard Stolk après Pentecôte via Flickr

The People of Israel did everything the way God commanded Moses: They camped under their respective flags; they marched by tribe with their ancestral families.  Numbers 2:34 (MSG)

My great-grandfather came to the United States around 1885. He was a young man and he travelled alone. This meant that my “tribe” got somewhat of a fresh start when he came to the U.S. From what I’ve been able to gather over the years, there was limited correspondence between my great-grandfather and his family remaining back in the Netherlands. My grandfather even visited his cousins in the Netherlands at one point, but then the link was then lost for a couple of generations. With the help of the internet, I found my cousin, John, about a decade ago and “tribal communication” across the Atlantic was restored.

I’ve heard it said “you can choose your friends, but you’re stuck with your family.” I’ve found it to be a true statement. Even if you do what my grandfather did to change the spelling of your name and move by yourself to a far away land, you still can’t escape your DNA. We are products of our family of origin. We can’t run away from that. In fact, looking back on the four generations of my family that have been born and raised in the United States, it seems as if the individualism which led my great-grandfather to strike out on his own and seperate from the tribe has perpetuated itself. There’s never been a family reunion. The extended members of our family rarely communicate. These are things that make me wonder.

I read today’s chapter and I picture the tribes of Jacob all camping under their respective tribal flags. Each group had to have behavioral and tribal characteristics as unique as the flags the flew above their camps. It’s genetic. It’s human. It’s the way things work.

The better I understand my tribe, the better I understand myself. The better I understand myself, the more I clearly I perceive character qualities in me which I need God’s help to change, and character qualities which I need God’s help to strengthen.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 13

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scream and shout
Image by mdanys via Flickr

Do I hear you saying,
   “What’s going on here? Why me?”
The answer’s simple: You’re guilty,
   hugely guilty.
Your guilt has your life endangered,
   your guilt has you writhing in pain. Jeremiah 13:22 (MSG)

I’m reminded this morning of being a child, sent to my room because my dad caught me swearing. It was summer. It wasn’t even 8:00 p.m. yet and the sun would be shining bright for another hour or more. Out of my upstairs bedroom window I could hear the sounds of the neighborhood kids continuing the game of kick-the-can from which I was pulled to serve my bedroom interment.

“It’s not fair,” my preadolescent brain wanted to argue. But my reasoning couldn’t make it very far. I said the “G.D.” word. There was no getting around it. Arguing that dad misunderstood what I said would be an exercise in futility. His hearing wasn’t that bad.

My brain continued to spin. I wanted to blame my brothers. They were the ones who taught me those words. They swore all the time (and never got caught). But, I knew that argument would go nowhere. Dad was judge, jury and executioner. He wouldn’t buy it. “It still doesn’t excuse you saying it,” I heard his voice saying in my brain.

I had to face the facts. I was stuck in my room, and it was my own “g.d.” fault.

Like children cloaked in adults bodies, I still find myself and others clinging to “why me?” sorrows while wallowing in the muck of our own making. We drive like demons on wintery roads and grieve the tickets and body shop bills. We ignore relational pains and then wonder why the relationship broke apart. We eat too much, sit in front of the television, and despair when our clothes don’t fit.

There are times when tragedy strikes without warning and wreaks havoc on life in unjust ways. However, like a child confined to his room and trying unsuccessfully to spin a plausible defense, I have to confess that much life pain is simply the consequences of my own making.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-day 2 Kings 24

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Generations. 

In God's opinion he also was an evil king, no different from his father

. 2 Kings 24:9 (MSG)

It's funny to watch certain behavioral traits pass down through generations. If you grew up in my family and found yourself in the bathroom when everyone else was at the table ready to eat, you were labeled "Uncle Garrett" because some old guy a few generations before had a habit of always being on the pot at meal time. When a person in my wife's family behaves in an authoritatively stubborn way, they are said to have inherited the Vander Hart gene.

Sometimes these behavioral patterns that flow through families are silly and the source of lots of ribbing and laughter. Sometimes they are simply annoying and you roll your eyes when they surface. Other times, however, they can be spiritually unhealthy and destructive. One of the themes that sticks out like a sore thumb in our journey through the Book of Kings is the perpetuation of sin and evil across generations. Time after time I read a verse like the one above from today's chapter. "Chip off the ol' block" is not always a good thing.

Today, I'm reminded that I am responsible for my own behavior and following God may require me to take a clearly different path than the well-worn trail that was blazed by earlier generations in my family. Following in Jesus' footsteps is a journey that leads us to change in ways that force to be more like Him, and less like those on the path behind us.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and collylogic

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 2 Kings 22

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Not listening. When the king heard what was written in the book, God's Revelation, he ripped his robes in dismay. And then he called for Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Acbor son of Micaiah, Shaphan the royal secretary, and Asaiah the king's personal aide. He ordered them all: "Go and pray to God for me and for this people—for all Judah! Find out what we must do in response to what is written in this book that has just been found!" 2 Kings 22:11-12 (MSG)

I am not, by nature, an angry person. It generally takes a lot to push my buttons and get me riled. However, as a person in authority, I've discovered that there is nothing quite as aggravating to me than when someone blatantly ignores what I've asked or said. To hear what I've asked and simply disregard it feels disrespectful and tears down whatever trust I might have placed in that person. I have found that disobedience stokes the fire of my anger.

Because of this, I kind of get it when God continually expresses his anger and outrage at the kings and people in the ancient days. How refreshing to read about Josiah's response to God's message. He immediately responded by seeking how he needed to change in order to be obedient to what God asked.

For several years I've been making this journey through God's message one chapter at a time. As I read this morning, I felt Holy Spirit calling me to a quiet conversation about my own life. Am I reading just to read? Is this really just about checking off my to-do list of spiritual good works? Or am I honestly responding to God's message by changing my behavoir in a sincere attitude of active obedience?

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Judges 14

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We each have an Achille's heel. Samson went down to Timnah. There in Timnah a woman caught his eye, a Philistine girl. He came back and told his father and mother, "I saw a woman in Timnah, a Philistine girl; get her for me as my wife." Judges 14:1

The study of Samson is a study in human nature. He was a Nazarite from his birth, meaning that he was set apart by special acts of purity. No hair on his body had been cut and he'd never touched a drop of alcohol. Yet, we find in Samson an important historical lesson. Extreme human efforts at purity can't and don't blot out the darkness of sin that weeds it's way into our hearts. Sin finds a way to reveal itself in the behavioral patterns of our lives. Samson's calamitous life is a prime example.

Samson had a weakness. Like another strong man of antiquity, Achilles, Samson was all brawny hero with a tiny tragic flaw. Achilles flaw was his heel. Samson's flaw was his lust. Samson's tragic dalliance with Delilah was not the exception for Samson, it was the rule. Samson had a weakness for women. It wasn't just a fatal attraction for the opposite sex, it was a bad boy lust for the forbidden females of the Philistines. Today's chapter is an appetizer of the tragic events to come.

Samson's story is my story. It's humanity's story. It's a microcosm of the cycle of sin revealed in the theme of the book of Judges. Desiring to be good and striving for purity can't blot out my tragic weakness. Look at the patterns of my behavior and you'll see the inheritance of Adam at work cycling me back into the familiar struggle with sin and pointing to the Truth that I need a savior.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Judges 1

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Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. My-Master-Bezek said, "Seventy kings with their thumbs and big toes cut off used to crawl under my table, scavenging. Now God has done to me what I did to them." They brought him to Jerusalem and he died there. Judges 1:7 (MSG)

Last weekend, Wendy and I had a Godfather night. A friend came over, we ate a nice meal and watched the first of the three movies tracing the Corleone family and their mafioso saga. In the original film, there's a classic scene in which a certain member of the mafia family, Luca Brasi, is killed. The family receives a package. In the package is Luca's bullet proof vest, and in the vest are fresh, dead fish.

"It's a Sicilian message," they are told, "that Luca Brasi 'sleeps with the fishes.'"

"What goes around, comes around," the saying goes. In three little verses of the first chapter of Judges, we find a short story of a Canaanite King famous in the region for cutting off the thumbs and big toes of his enemies. It sounds bloody and violent, but cutting off various appendages was common in ancient times. Like Luca Brasi's fishy vest, it was a 'calling card' intended to frighten neighboring towns into submission. It usually worked for a while, but vengeance was always around the corner. What goes around, comes around.

In The Godfather, and in human history, there is no end to the cycle of violence, hatred, and conquest. Isn't it interesting that Judges lists among those ancient conflicts the familiar names of Jerusalem and Gaza. The same conflict rages on over a millennium later.

That's why we need a savior.

Today, I submit myself anew to God, who died that I might be free from the chains of destructive behaviors. I commit myself to keep working to change the toxic cycles in my own life and realms of influence.

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