Big Brother Mentality (CaD Rom 11) – Wayfarer
And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.
Romans 11:6 (NIV)
Last week, I gave a message to our local gathering of Jesus’ followers. I kicked off the message by stating that I’ve long had the idea for a book about the things that Christians always get wrong. In that message, I talked about God’s presence. My entire life I’ve listened to people pray for God to “be present” or to “Come to us.” If we really believe what we say we believe, that is the most illogical thing to pray for. If you want to know why, I encourage you to listen to the message because that’s not the subject of today’s post.
One of the other chapters of my proposed book is the subject of today’s post. Along my life journey, I’ve observed that while Christians say we believe that salvation is “by grace through faith,” we still act as if there’s a bit of meritocracy mixed in. I like to think of this kind of thinking as “Grace Plus.” “Yes salvation is by grace through faith, plus if you were really “saved” you wouldn’t [fill in the blank with a behavior that, in your mind, a real Christian wouldn’t exhibit].
In today’s chapter, Paul addresses an implied question in his letter’s argument about salvation being for both the non-Jewish Gentiles as well as the Jewish people: “Has God rejected His people?” I am always amazed at how given we human beings are to binary, either-or, thinking. The Jewish people of Paul’s day were so proud of being “God’s chosen people” that they wanted to maintain exclusivity. Rather than perceiving the inclusion of Gentiles as followers of Jesus as God’s merciful generosity flowing from its Jewish roots, they concluded that God’s love of Gentiles must mean rejection of Israel. This attitude, by the way, is the same as the older brother in the parable of Prodigal Son. Like the father in that parable, Paul explains that God loving the “prodigal” Gentiles and celebrating their homecoming into salvation does not negate His love and purposes for “big brother” Israel. It is not an “either-or” but a “yes-and.”
The “Big Brother” thinking that Paul is addressing with his Jewish brothers and sisters is a form of the same problem that exists with those I observe with “Grace Plus” thinking. It’s a form of self-righteousness that mentally assents to God’s love as gracious and merciful, but at the heart of it still clings to the notion that our good works have some merit in making us more worthy than the dirty sinner.
In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking of the fruits of the Spirit that Paul lists in his letter to the believers in Galatia. I thought through Big Brother’s reaction to his father’s grace and mercy toward the sinful little brother:
“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’“
Then I tried to determine which of the Fruits of the Spirit he displayed in his reaction:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self-Control
How about the Prodigal’s father? Yeah, Pops was exemplifying them all.
As a child of God, I want to have my Father’s heart which is gracious, merciful, generous, and truly loving. This means, however, that I have to surrender all of my meritocratic notions. God’s generous and gracious love for others does not diminish His love for me, it just means there’s more love to go around than I ever thought possible.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.




