Tag Archives: Introspection

Chapter-a-Day

The Events Which Define Us

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ExodusWhen Israel came out of Egypt,
    Jacob from a people of foreign tongue,
Judah became God’s sanctuary,
    Israel his dominion.
Psalm 114:1-2 (NIV)

There are sometimes life events which, for good or for ill, help define who we are and give us a sense of identity. I’ve seen it happen in families, in which a young child dies or a parent commits suicide and the family system shifts to ceaselessly revolve around that tragic event. I’ve seen it happen with sports teams, in which a team like the Boston Red Sox live under the “curse of the Babe” for almost a century, and my beloved Cubs continue to languish under the curse of the Billy Goat and tragedy of the Bartman ball. I’ve seen it happen in cities like my hometown of Des Moines, when the great flood of 1993 created a new sense of community out of a sudden lack of fresh water. I believe that Americans are only beginning to understand how the events of 9/11 and their aftermath have changed and defined us.

For the people of Israel, the defining event was the Exodus when God delivered the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and led them to the promised land. The story is retold and referenced countless times in the Old Testament by the historians, prophets, and poets. Thousands of years later, it continues to be retold and celebrated by millions of people around the world each Passover.

Today’s psalm is one of many lyric references to this defining event. It was likely written after the time of Solomon when the kingdom was split in two. Notice the reference to both Judah (the southern kingdom) and Israel (the northern kingdom) in the verse above. The song writer uses this common heritage to remind the people of both nations that despite their present political differences, the Exodus unites them in a common bond.

Today, I’m thinking about the events which helped forge my identity and gave definition to the person I have been, am now, and am becoming. What family events, even those from previous generations, affected my family system which influenced that person I became? What happened in my hometown, in my country, or the larger ethnic group from which I came that has impacted me personally and culturally? What would happen if I understood them with greater clarity? Which are worth celebrating? Which should I let pass away?

Chapter-a-Day

Much Ado About Something

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Dante's Vision of Rachel and Leah Dante Gabrie...
Dante’s Vision of Rachel and Leah Dante Gabriel Rossetti, 1899 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Chapter-a-Day Genesis 29

 

But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?” Genesis 29:25 (NLT)

 

Wendy and I have recently been enjoying the Great Performances series on PBS called Shakespeare Uncovered. In each episode a famous actor delves deep into the story line of one of Shakespeare’s plays. It’s a wonderful primer for those who have an interest in learning more about Shakespeare’s stories and the literary genius he was.

 

Perhaps that is why I couldn’t help noticing that there is a Shakespearian quality to the story of Jacob and his uncle Laban. Jacob the deceiver, born from Abraham and Isaac who were also deceivers, receives a does of his own medicine when he is deceived by his Uncle. Add to that plot line the tale of two sisters, one homely and the other one hot. The hot one is seemingly barren while the homely one appears to be a baby making factory. Jacob is in love with the latter but is tricked into marrying the former. The sibling rivalry and Leah’s desperate desire to win the love and affection of her husband leads to a fertile fury of son making. Truth is sometimes as compelling as a Bard’s tale.

 

One of Shakespeare’s greatest qualities as a playwright was his development of characters whose tragic flaws led to tragic consequences. In this, he really is just developing what is true of human nature. We all have tragic flaws. We all have blind spots and weaknesses. We will all look back and realize that along the journey our own shortcomings led to negative consequences. The question is: What will we do about them?

We do not have to remain blind and ignorant. Through introspection, conversation, transparent relationship, and accountability we can become aware of our blind spots. We can actually learn from our shortcomings and choose to modify our patterns of behavior before they wreak too much havoc on our lives and the lives of those in our circles of influence.

 

Today, I’m thinking about my own weaknesses. I am aware of areas of my life that have been blind spots for me. I do not want to live passively. I’m actively working on modifying my thought patterns and behaviors. I don’t know that I will ever eliminate the negative consequences of my flaws, but I can certainly diminish them and that’s something.

 

 

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Esther 10

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The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624.
The Triumph of Mordecai by Pieter Lastman, 1624. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mordecai the Jew became the prime minister, with authority next to that of King Xerxes himself. He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants. Esther 10:3 (NLT)

Mordecai was held in high esteem. He was considered great and in the end his life was marked by triumphant success. The reason given for this was simple: he looked out for the needs of others. The story of Esther is the story of deliverance for an entire people, but it would never have happened if Mordecai had not been diligent in being aware of all that was going on around him. It would not have happened if Mordecai had not loved Esther, taken her under his wing, and mentored her. It would not have happened had Mordecai not been willing to stand in the face of persecution when everyone else bowed in fear and appeasement. It would never have taken place had unless Mordecai considered the greater needs of his people more important than his own personal security.

As I read this morning, I was reminded of this passage from Paul’s letter to Philippian believers:

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

 Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Mordecai was a living example of this attitude that all followers of Jesus are told we must have.

It is Friday as I write this post. It was on a Friday that Jesus obediently hung on the cross for our sins as described above. In the deep tradition of Jesus’ followers, each Friday is a day of introspection and confession as we think about our own sins and shortcomings.  As for me, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow as I read about Mordecai this morning. I confess that my life is so marked by thoughts of self. My attitude is so seldom about others and so often about me. My bad.

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 3

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The sound of voices comes drifting out of the hills, the unhappy sound of Israel’s crying,
Israel lamenting the wasted years, never once giving her God a thought.

“Come back, wandering children!  I can heal your wanderlust!”

Jeremiah 3:21-22 (MSG)

There are multiple paths from which to choose in life. Each day we make choices which way we are going to go. Which one of us have not, at one time or another, willingly chosen the road we know is wrong for us? Who among us has not found ourselves in places we regret?

I think it’s a good reminder on New Year’s Eve, as we all consider where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going. No matter where this day finds us and no matter how lost we might be (as the prodigal son discovered) it is never too late to turn and head back home.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 2

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SLOW two
Image by -= Bruce Berrien =- via Flickr

“Slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry?
   Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?“ Jeremiah 2:25a (MSG)

Slow down. Take a deep breath.

I needed to read those words this morning. Despite the fact that the holidays are supposed to be a time of rest and peace, I feel stretched out. Sometimes the holidays feel like a flurry of activity that empty the tank instead of fill it.

Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?

That’s really the question, isn’t it? What am I after? I put life on auto-pilot. I set the cruise control. I go through the same motions the same way with the same results.

The eve of a new year approaches and I find my spirit looking forward, looking back. I find myself asking what I am after.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 139

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The action list is full. Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:23-24 (MSG)

Yesterday and today I'm attending a leadership conference. I posted a tweet at the morning break stating that the conference was only 25 percent over and my action list was now 125 percent full (btw, you can find me on Twitter: tomvanderwell). As I sat there through the session yesterday my pen was a blur of thoughts, ideas and things I was learning. To be honest, most of what I was learning was how far I have yet to grow as a leader in every area of my life. I felt like God did exactly what the verses above describe. He placed a huge magnifying glass over my heart and let me take a peek. I got a clear picture of what I'm about and I didn't like everything I saw.

I'm tired this morning. My wife and sat up late into the night discussing what I'd learned yesterday and determining some things I need to do differently. There were even some things she agree she needed to join with me in changing in her own walk. It made for a short night, but I think we'll look back and see that it was a worthwhile investment of our time.

Yesterday's chapter, Psalm 138, reminded me that God wasn't through with me. Today's chapter reminds me that God isn't the only agent involved in the process. God may help me examine where I've wandered on the path behind me, but I've got the responsibility to take that information and let Him change me, so that I can walk differently on the road ahead.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and brianandmia