Tag Archives: Giftedness

Awareness and Ego

Awareness and Ego (CaD Jos 8) Wayfarer

Then the Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. For I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land.
Joshua 8:1 (NIV)

Along my life journey, and my spiritual journey, I’ve learned that there is wisdom and goodness in having sober self-awareness. This includes knowing my strengths, my abilities, my weaknesses, and my ego.

I grew up around music. I sang in choirs throughout my school years. I sang in small groups, in musicals, and taught myself to play guitar and bass. I also confess that my ego really wanted to be a great singer and musician. My ego wanted to be in a band and be a lead vocalist.

I was never that good, and any ego-fueled attempt I made to do something beyond my ability utterly failed. I learned to accept that I’m adequate when it comes to music. I can function on a team and positively contribute to the whole. I can adequately perform a solo in a musical on stage. However, I know gifted vocalists and musicians, and my ego eventually learned to accept that I’m not one of them.

There are, however, other things at which I’m gifted. In the flow of life, those are the things that God has continually given me opportunities to do, and they’ve been successful even if/when my ego wasn’t exactly excited about it.

In reading today’s chapter, it was the contrast to the previous chapter where I found the most fascinating lesson.

At the beginning of yesterday’s chapter, there was no mention of God being part of the preparations for or engagement in the battle. Joshua sent the spies. The spies gave their report and recommended action. Joshua acted on their recommendation and sent a small contingent to take the city. It failed.

At the beginning of today’s chapter, the Lord encourages Joshua, the Lord gives the command to attack, and the Lord provides the battle plan. It succeeds. And, having taught/learned the lesson at Jericho that everything belongs to God, the Lord shares the plunder of Ai with His people.

Joshua and the Hebrew tribes are learning a lesson similar to the one I’ve had to learn. In God’s silence, Joshua allowed his ego to take over. There’s no record that he even thought about asking God for direction. On the heels of a victory at Jericho, Joshua takes command, makes the strategy, and pulls the trigger to attack.

1500 years later, God would reveal that we are all like a body with Jesus as the head. We’re all connected. We each have certain gifts, abilities, and temperaments that allow us to positively contribute to the health, strength, and life of the whole body. Yet, just like our bodies, there are entire systems that function independently of one another yet no other system of the body can survive and thrive unless each system is doing the thing it’s made to do.

My ego might really want me to be part of a different system but there’s wholeness and peace in having the self-awareness to know where I fit and best contribute to the whole body. Beyond that, if I’m not functioning in the system in which I’m gifted and best contribute, the entire body suffers. Joshua made the easy mistake of thinking he was the brains of the operation, but only God occupies that position in the body. When Joshua was back in the position of being God’s mouthpiece taking orders from the brain, everything functioned as it should.

In the quiet this morning, I’m meditating on the reality that this lesson of self-awareness, humility, giftedness, and ego is not a flip-the-switch type of lesson that you learn once and then are done. Getting my ego out of the way and learning to know and understand myself are never-ending lessons on this earthly sojourn. The more I embrace and learn these lessons, the further I progress spiritually, and the more peace and joy I experience in my daily experiences.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

An Executable Plan

The Lord said to Moses and Aaron: “The Israelites are to camp around the tent of meeting some distance from it, each of them under their standard and holding the banners of their family.”
Numbers 2:1-2 (NIV)

If you want something organized and done well, put my wife Wendy in charge of it. I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I have been married to this woman for nearly twelve years, and from our New Year’s Eve gala wedding to countless weekend trips to the lake, from running a box office to a successful string of community theatre awards dinners, she is gifted when it comes to organization, planning and execution of a plan.

I thought about Wendy in the quiet this morning as I waded through the second chapter of Numbers, which had all the excitement of an army field manual. In essence, that’s what it was. The Hebrew tribes had no home. They were about to embark on a giant, traveling encampment with over 600,000 able-bodied fighting men, their wives, their elders, their children, their big-top Tabernacle, and livestock to boot. Talk about an organizational nightmare.

Along this life journey I’ve come to realize that people eventually tend to admire, or to shun, those gifts and abilities that run opposite theirs. Unlike my ezer kenegdo, Wendy, I am a big picture, take-it-as-it-comes, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. When Wendy starts making a meal plan for our weekend at the lake a week ahead of the trip, my natural bent is to roll my eyes and say, “Seriously?! Do we have to figure this out now? Can’t we just figure it out when we get there?

But, I’ve learned over time when you’re at the lake with two to four other adults and no plan, the conversation goes like this:

Person 1: “What are we doing for supper?”

Person 2: “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

Person 1: “I don’t know. What about you, honey?”

Person 3: “I don’t care. Whatever you want to do.”

Person 1: “I don’t care either. It’s whatever you guys think. Right, dear?”

Person 4: “We could go out, or we could stay in.”

Person 1: “We went out last night.”

Person 4: “Which doesn’t mean we can’t go out again tonight.”

Person 1: “No, it doesn’t. I’m not saying that. We can go out, or stay in. What do you guys think?”

Person 2: “Whatever. We don’t care. We’re okay going out. Aren’t we, dear?”

Person 3: “Sure. Or staying in. Either way is fine with us.”

This conversation can go on in circles for hours, which is not only maddening but also squeezes out actual time having fun and enjoying meaningful conversation.

When Wendy starts asking about a meal plan a week before our trip to the lake, I choose in. I’m still not good about anticipating and initiating a plan on my own (but it’s a growth opportunity for me!) Things run more smoothly and everyone enjoys themselves more when there’s a well executed plan.

This morning I’m thinking about a boring chapter laying out an executable encampment plan for taking the population of the entire Des Moines area on a sustained wilderness march. Sometimes the message is not in the text but in the context. Life is full of daily, weekly, monthly and annual events which run more smoothly with an executable plan. The untold story of many of history’s greatest victories lies in the quartermasters and gifted planners who were able to successfully and efficiently move armies and supplies at the right time in the right way. That’s not my gift.

I’m reminded this morning of the blessing of peace and flow in life that exists only when you have a person with the giftedness and authority to anticipate need, create a workable plan, and execute that plan. I get to experience that blessing because I’m married to such a person.

 

Practice Required

But since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
2 Corinthians 8:7 (NIV)

I received a text from one of our daughters the other day. She was doing an exercise for work and each person was asked to quiz a few people who knew them well and ask , “What is it that I do better than anyone else?” In other words, what was the thing or things at which she excelled. It was an interesting question to ponder and fun to be allowed to share my thoughts with her.

I have always had certain things at which I excelled and many things at which I did not. I was never very good at sports. The only sport at which I exhibited some excellence was swimming, and this was only because of years of constant and disciplined practice. I was always a pretty good student, however. And, I displayed a modicum of excel-lence in the arts, especially on stage.

In today’s chapter, Paul answers our daughter’s question to the followers of Jesus in Corinth. Paul reports that they excel in faith, in good conversation, in being knowledgable and in their earnestness. Then, Paul then urges them to add one more thing to the list. He wants them to excel in giving.

The interesting thing about the encouragement given here is that generosity must have been an area that the believers in Corinth had not already displayed excellence. It was something that was going to require exercise and practice, and this was the entire point behind today’s chapter. Paul was urging them to stretch their generosity muscles and practice giving.

One of the passages of God’s Message around which I’ve chosen to try and model my life is Psalm 112, which has ceaselessly admonished me in the same way Paul encourages the believers in Corinth. The lyrics of the psalm describe the person who is “generous and lends freely” and who “scatters abroad their gifts to the poor.”

I must confess this morning that when it comes to generosity and giving I am an honorary Corinthian. I have known people who excel at giving, for whom it is a spiritual gift. For me, it is a lot like swimming. If I want to excel I’ve got to endlessly practice. Generosity stretches and builds spiritual muscles that are not naturally strong for me, but the effort and development is good for me in a myriad of ways.

This morning I’m pondering the areas of life in which I easily and naturally excel, and the areas like generosity that require repetitive practice. I don’t ever want to stop working on improving. I’m encouraged this morning to keep working, keep practicing, keep driving towards excellence in these important areas of Life and Spirit.

Chapter-a-Day 1 Peter 4

Called & Gifted Workshop
Called & Gifted Workshop (Photo credit: bobosh_t)

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11 (NLT)

Many years ago I was serving on staff at a local church. A couple in the church had an adult son and his family who had moved back in with them. The son had gone to seminary and had become a pastor. His first church experience was abysmal. The church released him from his service and he could not find another church who wanted to hire him. So, he and the family moved in with mom and dad.

I spent some time with the unemployed young pastor. The church, in an effort to be an encouragement to him, allowed him to fill the pulpit a few Sundays. It quickly became clear to everyone that there was a problem. The young man had an incredible gift for knowledge. He was a tremendous theologian and thinker. He was able to reason through and grasp some of the most complex theological concepts. The problem was, he was socially awkward around people and when he preached it was utterly painful to listen to him. He was convinced, however, that he was going to be a pastor whether he had the personal skill set to do it well or not.

Along the journey I’ve noticed a common trend in fellow believers: We desire to be (or believe we are) gifted in ways we are not. A administrative pastor with no gift for preaching insists on subjecting his flock to his poor communication skills. A gifted musician and worship leader insists on preaching an awkward, rambling mini-sermon between each song. While their music ushers in a movement of the Spirit, their attempts at teaching between songs brings the movement of the Spirit to a screeching halt. A person with all sorts of desire and musical ability still can’t sing on key and insists on subjecting the church’s ears to their pitch imperfect strains.

Perhaps it is because our areas of giftedness seem so, well, natural. “I’m not special. I’ve always been good at that. That’s boring. What I’d really like to be is….” I’ve come to recognize this as a subtle form of envy. I really want to preach like he does, sing like she does, have a position of leadership like him, or have her knack for hospitality. It begs the question: Do I really want to glorify God, or am I seeking after what I feel would glorify myself?

The organized church tends to be very focused at helping people discover their spiritual gifts. We have tests and workshops and study guides and books that cover the subject in every way imaginable. What we are not very good at is confronting people who are chasing after ways that they are not gifted and helping direct their focus within the boundaries of their giftedness.

Today, I’m thinking about the young man with the gift of knowledge and theology. I wonder if he continued to chase after what the ways he was not gifted, or if he ever found the path to utilize the gifts God gave him. I hope it is the latter. We are all on our own journey. I pray we each find the road to utilizing the spiritual gifts God gave us.