Tag Archives: Sex

Chapter-a-Day

A Hint of Paradise

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wendy at als

Kiss me and kiss me again,
    for your love is sweeter than wine.
Song of Solomon 1:2 (NLT)

 

I sit in a hotel lobby as I write this. I have a couple of days in client meetings early this week, so Wendy and I left on Saturday morning to tack on a little weekend getaway to my business trip. We’ve had a lot of fun and it’s been one long date since we left on Saturday morning. As I write this post the elevator music in the lobby is playing “Babe” by Styx, the sappy late 70’s early 80’s power ballad that conjures up memories of school dances, teen romances and off the chart infatuations. I laughed to myself as I heard it and thought about it in context of a romantic getaway with my bride. For some strange reason, I thought it would be fun to start Song of Solomon this morning.

The lyrics of Solomon’s ancient, romantic power ballad bills itself as “more wonderful than any other.” The duet (with back up chorus) starts with the young woman saying that her lover’s kisses are “sweeter than wine.” The truth is that love is intoxicating. I feel it this morning. I’ve felt it all weekend. I’m feeling drunk and sappy with love for Wendy who is my wife, my lover, and my friend. And, I’m enjoying it thoroughly, thank you very much.

Conservative theologians like to point out that Song of Solomon is an ancient allegory of the relationship between Jesus (e.g. the king) and the church (e.g. his bride). I get that, but that’s where the stuffy legalists like to leave the conversation. God forbid we actually have a conversation about the healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife. What a shame. God is an artist and great art communicates truth on a multitude of different levels. Song of Solomon is an incredible set of ancient lyrics full of sappy romance and strong sexual references both overt (e.g. “my lover is a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts”) and subtle.

God, the artist, created us male and female. He created us naked. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. Love, intimacy and sex between husband and wife was part of the original ideal and when we are blessed to experience a moment of it here, East of Eden, it is allows us to capture, even for a brief moment, a hint of the original paradise.

 

Chapter-a-Day

Spiritual Cardiology Exam

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source: trcpella.com
source: trcpella.com

They are being tested by many troubles, and they are very poor. But they are also filled with abundant joy, which has overflowed in rich generosity. 2 Corinthians 8:2 (NLT)

Our local church began a series of messages yesterday on treasure. We’re not talking the Jack Sparrow, Black Pearl kind of treasure, mind you. The premise of the series comes from one of Jesus’ teachings:

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”

In yesterday’s overview, the teacher explained his premise that our culture has placed its treasure in three basic things: money, sex, and technology. In the weeks ahead we’re going to explore how these three things affect our heart on a day-by-day basis.

I found this morning’s chapter dove-tailing with the message I heard yesterday and the conversation Wendy and I began on the way home. I love Paul’s description of some of the believers in Greek communities, that while very poor they had abundant joy which overflowed into being sacrificially generous with what little they had. I observe that the heart attitude determined their willingness to give up what little material possession they had for the benefit of others.

On this Monday morning I wake with head spinning from the long week ahead. My mind is already wrestling with a long list of priorities and seemingly little time to accomplish all that is on my plate. I am undergoing spiritual cardiology examination in the pre-dawn hours as God’s still small voice whispers pesky questions in my soul. Where is my treasure? What do I say I value? What do my words, thoughts, actions, acquisitions, task-lists, and priorities prove that I value?

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 2 Peter 2

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Poster by Mat Kelly

They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 2 Peter 2:19 (NLT)

This past Saturday night, Wendy and I went to see a new play performed at Central College. Dead Man’s Curve was adapted from the book Yellow Cab by Robert Leonard. Leonard, a former professor of anthropology at the University of New Mexico, shares his experiences of driving a Yellow Cab during the graveyard shift in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Through the play we are introduced to a wide variety of very real people with whom Mr. Leonard rubbed shoulders. He calls them “invisible people.” It was a fascinating ride. Days later, Wendy and I find ourselves continuing to talk about the people and stories to which we were exposed.

I thought about some of those people this morning as I read the chapter and particularly the verse above. Indeed, despite the promise of freedom, we are all slaves to those things which control us. It’s too easy to draw a dotted line from this truth to the common addictions of sex, drugs and alcohol. The more insidious truth I’ve come to believe is that there are far more people enslaved each day by socially acceptable appetites out of control like pride, hunger, control, greed, materialism, and even religiosity. Legalistic religiosity is simply the gluttonous indulgence of the human appetite for power and control. It is just the point Peter was trying to make in today’s chapter. That which promises freedom only creates a different version of slavery.

As we watched the play I was struck by the number of times drivers, who each had their own set of troubles and issues, acted out of love and compassion both for the needy and the foolish humans who happened into the backseat of their cab. Modern day Samaritans providing random acts of grace and kindness, often to those who didn’t really deserve it. Those acts of love are examples of the very essence of Jesus’ entire message. Freedom does not flow out of a license to do whatever we want, nor out of religious adherence to lists of rules meant to keep us away from doing what we shouldn’t. Freedom, Jesus said, flows out of the truth embodied when we obey the law of love He taught: To love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength; To love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Random Thoughts, Wayfarer's Journal

Day 9: Your Last Kiss

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Image by Jannie-Jan via Flickr

30 Day Blogging Challenge Day 9: Your Last Kiss.

Just a few minutes ago Wendy was standing at the kitchen counter making pizza dough for dinner tonight. I love to sneak up on her from behind when she’s not expecting it, reaching around her for a hug and a kiss. It’s amazing how passionate unexpected kisses in the kitchen can be. When I worked at the book store in high school and college there was a book that was always on the shelf entitled Sex Begins in the Kitchen. I never read the book, but I’ve also never forgotten the title (and discovered that it is often true).

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 25

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Lies

It started when the women invited the men to their sex-and-religion worship. They ate together and then worshiped their gods. Israel ended up joining in the worship of the Baal of Peor. God was furious, his anger blazing out against Israel. Numbers 25:2-3 (MSG)

I remember many years ago catching my youngest daughter in a lie. It was a small thing but I came down hard on her and she was visibly surprised by my earnestness in the matter. It wasn’t the small, isolated act but the principle that I wanted her to understand. When a child learns that lying is acceptable, then they can easily go down a path which leads to much larger deceptions and falsehoods. Pretty soon, you’ve wandered far off the path of truth.

It’s easy to read today’s chapter and scratch our heads at God’s anger and reaction to the actions of his followers. Baal worship was prevalent in those days. It started as a type of “fertility” worship which was common in ancient cultures. It morphed in a myriad of ways as it spread through middle eastern tribes and regions. What it became was an ongoing, blasphemous sexual free-for-all. And, when the Baal followers sexual “worship” produced babies, they would sacrifice the baby to Baal by burning the baby alive. Unbridled and unrestricted sex with no responsibility for the outcome. (Hmmm, the more things change…..)

Like a loving parent, God knew that Baal worship would lead His children down a tragic path that would be incredibly destructive to the entire nation. I have to believe that in this early confrontation between God and Baal, God wanted his young nation to understand how serious He was about avoiding entanglements with Baal worship.

Today I’m reminded that even when it seems that my Heavenly Father is being unfair or harsh, He knows the plans He has for me. They are plans for life and hope, and I can trust His will.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Leviticus 18

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creative commons photo via Flickr & eyeliam

God spoke to Moses: “Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them, I am God, your God. Don’t live like the people of Egypt where you used to live, and don’t live like the people of Canaan where I’m bringing you. Don’t do what they do. Obey my laws and live by my decrees. I am your God. Keep my decrees and laws: The person who obeys them lives by them. I am God. Leviticus 18:1-5 (MSG)

When, as parents, we make rules for our children there is generally a reason behind the rules. A young child doesn’t like, nor does he or she understand, the need to be strapped tightly into a car seat. It’s uncomfortable and confining to a little one naturally given to constant movement and squirming. Any parent can attest to the screams, tears and rebellious striving which occurs when strapping a squirmy toddler into a car seat. We as parents understand, however, that in the big picture we’re preserving and protecting life.

As I journey through Leviticus, I’m not just looking at God’s rules, but trying to discern our Heavenly Father’s motivation in making the rule in the first place. As I read through the laundry list of rules regarding sexual behavior in today’s chapter, a couple of thoughts came to mind:

  • The cultures of that day were given to sexual immorality. The beginning of today’s chapter makes it clear that these rules were meant to differentiate God’s people from the people around them. Incestuous relationships in ancient Egypt are well documented by historians. God wanted His people marked by their purity, not their perversions.
  • There is a constant theme in the chapter, not just about sexual acts, but the violation which takes place within the act.  Sex outside the lines creates personal, relational, spiritual and societal violations. Rather than building healthy souls, relationships and a stronger society, sexual violations tear individuals and relationships apart, weakening the societal fabric. Historians have clearly linked moral decline with the demise of multiple ancient societies. It’s not rocket science.
  • There is a direct connection between the sexual and the spiritual. Many of the gods and idols in ancient times were fertility gods whom cultures worshipped by committing sexual acts. Fertility gods became a kind of spiritual cover for prostitution and any number of sexual behaviors the fell outside God’s intentions. There is a particular reference to Molech (a.k.a. Moloch) in today’s chapter, who was a god worshipped by many of the cultures in the area where the Israelites wandered. People brought their children to be sacrificed (typically burned alive) to Molech. It is often argued that gods like Molech rose from sexually dysfunctional, spiritually dead cultures as they sought to justify their behavior and eliminate the unwanted consequence of their illicit sexual activities. It was a pretty preverse cycle. Give yourself over to unbridled sexual activity in the worship of a fertility god, but when the sexual act actually results in fertility you sacrifice the baby back to the fertility god.

I have to connect the dots here. Sex outside the lines creates personal and relational violations in which individuals are victimized. To perpetuate and justify the repeated violation,  we must depersonalize and diminish the victim, as well as eliminate the unwanted result [read: children].

I have to dig one level deeper. I have to believe that it is not just about society as a whole with which God is concerned. Any who have struggled with pornography or sex outside the lines can attest to the truth that a microcosm of this same destructive spiritual regression can occur within the individual human soul.

God made his motivation clear in his preamble to the sexual rules in today’s chapter. The rules were intended to preserve and promote individual, spiritual, relational and societal life. God was tightly buckling his young nation of sinful people into a cultural car seat knowing that death would result on many levels for not doing so.