“‘The high priest, the one among his brothers who has had the anointing oil poured on his head and who has been ordained to wear the priestly garments, must not let his hair become unkempt or tear his clothes.’”
Leviticus 21:10 (NIV)

As a young man I spent five years in vocational pastoral ministry, a total of six years in professional ministry when you add one year of purgatory in a para-church men’s ministry.

Six years.

Six is the number of man, and it was yours truly’s determination back in the day that when God called me to proclaim His Word that it must have meant being in vocational, professional ministry. I have fond memories of those six years and, to this day, I continue to be blessed by the fruit of my labors within them. Nevertheless, those years will filled with many hard lessons as God made it clear to me that He had another plan. I was still going to proclaim His Word. It was just going to be nothing like I had been determined it should be. My ways are not His ways.

“To whom much is given, much is required,” Jesus said, and goodness gracious did I experience that during my six years of pastoral ministry. The question I learned to ask during that stretch of my life journey was, “Exactly who is requiring this of me?”

As a youth pastor and pastor I learned that many people required many different things from me. And, many of them made it clear that they were the ones doing the “giving” that paid my salary so I had better toe the line of their personal requirements. It didn’t take long before I realized that I was beginning to pretend to be someone I wasn’t in order to be the person others were requiring me to be. So, I fulfilled my contract and chose to walk away.

I then worked for one year for a ministry started and led by charismatic and popular celebrity in local Christian circles. In this professional ministry I learned that what was required of me was to be loyal, do what I was told, not to complain, and not to ask uncomfortable questions, especially about how the ministry’s finances were being handled. I actually got fired from that job. It put me and my young family in a tremendous financial pinch at the time, but it was among the best things that ever happened to me. God provided what we needed.

In the next two chapters of God’s priestly manual for the ancient Hebrews, God addresses the priests, and the High Priest, in particular. Jesus words are just as apt here. There was nothing that Aaron or his sons had done to deserve or earn being the priests. It was a calling given to them by God. And, it was a pretty sweet gig. They wouldn’t toil like all the other tribes to make a living and provide for their families. They got a portion of the offerings and sacrifices that were simply brought to God. As the tribe of priests grew, it also meant that they actually only did their priestly duties on occasional shifts. And, the priests had God-given authority over the people. They had the power to declare people clean or unclean, to banish people from the camp, and to declare a person’s offering acceptable or not. In other words, the priests had the power to keep people in fellowship with God, or to cut them off from God’s favor. What is clear from today’s chapter is that God is requiring from them an exceptional level of behavior from His preists as it relates to remaining ritually “clean” and being a “holy” example as they carry out the ritual offerings and sacrifices God prescribed earlier in the book. They are to live and lead by example. But, that’s ultimately not going to happen.

As Lord Acton observed back in the late 1800s, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

What eventually happened with the Hebrew priesthood is the same thing I observed in the large institutional churches and denominations I’ve served in and been a part of my entire life. They become just another kingdom of this world under the dominion of the Prince of this World. Spiritual authority is corrupted into personal and worldly power. Being an example is corrupted into being a pretender. Those at the top of the religious food chain become just like politicians, celebrities, or business moguls. They expect or demanding one thing from those under their authority or influence while doing pretty much whatever they want.

For example, I read in today’s chapter God’s very specific instruction to the High Priest that he was never to “tear his clothes.” The rending of one’s garments was a common practice among the ancients as a sign of grief or lament. God apparently wanted the High Priest to remain an example of spiritual objectivity and discipline, and not to do this. I suddenly remembered something and quickly flipped to Matthew.

When Jesus was arrested by the High Priest Caiaphas, He was arrested under the pretense of Jesus breaking all sorts of religious laws. He worked on the Sabbath, He claimed to be God, and He said He would destroy the Temple. However, the High Priest had Jesus arrested at night, which was also against the law. He presided over a trial of Jesus during that same night, which was also against the law. When Jesus proclaimed that He was exactly who He claimed to be, Matthew tells us: “Then the high priest tore his clothes….” In condemning the Son of God for breaking God’s laws, the High Priest breaks them himself.

Rules for thee, but not for me.

That’s the way it works in this fallen world.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself grateful that God led me down a path that gave me a much more expansive (and powerful) understanding of what “ministry” is and means. He blessed me with a vocation that perfectly fit my gifts and abilities which I have really enjoyed. He also blessed me with regular opportunities to continue using my gifts among every local gathering of Jesus followers while having another vocation. It has also afforded me the freedom and opportunity to find and embrace my authentic self and what God requires of me without the pressure to conform to what everyone else “requires.” Just like Paul who made tents wherever he went so that he wouldn’t need to ask anything from the local gatherings of believers he served, it’s allowed me to do very much the same, serving even in pastoral roles in ways that are a service and a calling but not necessary as my professional vocation.

I’ve had people ask me if I would ever consider going back to a full-time pastoral gig. I always feel myself shrug. Who knows? A lot has changed all around in 35 years. As I see “retirement” out there on the horizon, who knows where God might yet lead me in future seasons of life. I know that I will continue to follow wherever He leads. I know that I can trust Him with the Story. And, I know that I am right where I’m supposed to be doing the things I’m supposed to do today.

And with that, I enter another day of the journey, just another Wayfaring Stranger making my way home.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.