On Remember When Wednesdays, I look back at a post from the past and publish it again for newer readers. Having posted about the topic of grief and loss this morning, I thought it apropos to share this memory which I published back in January of 2008 (and which still makes me laugh whenever I think of it)…
He said these things, and then announced, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep. I’m going to wake him up.” John 11:11 (TM)
When my Grandma Golly died, the girls were only 3 or 4 years old. Our nephews, Sam and Sol, were the same ages. The entire family had been at the funeral home for the long hours of visitation. There had been a steady stream of visitors, friends and family throughout the evening to share in our grief.
Like most toddlers, the reason for the occasion was lost on the girls and their male cousins who took the opportunity to run around the funeral home playing together. Late that evening, all was quiet in the visitation room as most everyone but family and a few dear friends had departed.
My nephew Solomon, ripping around the room in a playful fury, stopped short right in front of the casket. He looked at the lifeless body of his great grandmother lying before him. He looked at his wrist (where there was no watch), and then shouted at the top of his lungs for all to hear…
The Israelites wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days; then the period of mourning for Moses was ended. Deuteronomy 34:8 (NRSV)
Wendy and I enjoyed watching Joe Maddon take over as manager of the Chicago Cubs this year. He brings a lot of fun and laughter to the clubhouse, keeping things light and his players relaxed. “It’s just baseball brother,” Joe says, “never let the pressure exceed the pleasure.” And so, the Cubbies have enjoyed petting zoos, magicians, pajama parties, and a rookie Disney princess dress up day.
As silly as some of it seems, I have also observed some simple wisdom in some of Joe’s clubhouse rules. For example, when the Cubs win, Joe lets the players party and enjoy the victory for 30 minutes. There’s a disco ball and loud music and dancing and a raucous party…for 30 minutes. Then, it’s on to preparations for the next game. Likewise, when the Cubs lose, Joe allows the team to grieve and groan and grumble. A black cloud of mourning the loss can hang in the clubhouse…for 30 minutes. Then, it’s on to preparations of the next game.
In today’s chapter, Moses’ death is followed by a period of national grieving…for 30 days. Then, the mourning ended and it was time to move on to the next chapter of their lives and the conquest of Canaan. As wise King Solomon put it, “there is a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” But, in either case, it’s only for a time.
Today, I’m reminded that there is wisdom in grieving for a time. I’m sure that being swept in the NLCS will be mourned by all of the Cubs this year, and the pain of it will be felt for the rest of their lives. Still, there’s another season for which to prepare. Mourn the loss, but then you’ve gotta move on.
Likewise, we all experience tragedy and loss along our life journeys. The pain will be with us to the end, but at some point the period of mourning has got to end, and the next stretch of the journey has to begin.
For Top Five Tuesday, I thought I’d bring a little local interest. Wendy and I love a great meal out, and Des Moines offers a host of unique, local options for dining out.
Here are my current Top Five local Des Moines eateries:
Start the day with breakfast at The Waveland. The world continues to suffer from a lack of great greasy spoon breakfasts, and The Waveland has been doing it right in Des Moines for a long, long time.
Noah’s Ark was the place my parents and grandparents loved to go when I was a kid. Not only does that windowless “supper club” ambiance take me back to great childhood memories, but the Italian cuisine has never ceased to satisfy.
Django has become a favorite for Wendy and me. The bar is top notch and the food offers a great twist on some staple American favorites. Best of all, no corking fee for brining your own bottle of wine to the party!
One of the things I love about Tumea and Sons is the neighborhood feel. First, you have to find it, which says something. Then, when I enter the place, I kinda feel like I’ve just crashed a neighborhood party. You can tell from this list that Wendy and I love Italian food, and this place offers some authentic Italian family cooking straight from Des Moines’ south side.
We just ate at Cafe Di Scala for the first time last week, but it’s quickly made it on my top five list after one visit. One of the things I appreciated, as one who has hearing challenges, was the quiet atmosphere. The food, wine, and service were top notch. It’s certainly the most expensive place in my Top Five, but for a special meal out this is a winner.
And of Joseph he said: Blessed by the Lord be his land, with the choice gifts of heaven above, and of the deep that lies beneath; Deuteronomy 33:13 (NRSV)
Along my life journey I have received words of incredible encouragement from family, teachers, and mentors:
“You will do well in whatever you do.”
“Whatever you do, I know you’ll succeed.”
“You’ll do great. I know you will.“
Those words are examples of what the ancients called a blessing. Most commonly given from father to son, king to subject, leader to follower, a blessing is a word of affirmation spoken to bless and encourage. Some blessings can be prophetic nature while others simply to strengthen and comfort the recipient.
In today’s chapter we find Moses approaching then end of the road. He is in the home stretch of his life journey, and the finish line is straight ahead. He gathers his people together and, tribe-by-tribe, he speaks over them a blessing. The blessing for each tribe is unique, and the themes include life, safety, strength, acceptance, abundance, provision, affluence, favor, possession, and etc.
Today, I’m thinking about my children, and others who live within the circles of my influence. I’m thinking about the opportunity I have to speak words of blessing into them. Conversely, I’m thinking about the curse of staying silent and not blessing those who I have the opportunity to encourage. I need not wait until the end of my life journey to speak a blessing over others. In fact, what a shame it would be for me to do so.
The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he; Deuteronomy 32:4 (NRSV)
A few years ago we noticed that our house had developed a few cracks in the walls that hadn’t been there when we bought it. The house was older, so it wasn’t a shock, but we knew we should investigate. The experts concluded that there was one section of ground beneath our foundation that had shifted. We had to drill underneath the house until we hit bedrock, then place supports under the foundation so that our house was resting on bedrock (see featured photo).
Just last week Wendy and I were having a conversation with friends. We had been asked to reflect on life and I mentioned that the past year and a half had been an incredible time of transition for our family. Madison switched jobs, moved twice, and struggled to figure out how she would finish out college. Taylor went through a divorce and moved to grad school in Scotland. My parents were both diagnosed with terrible illnesses. Both my folks and Wendy’s folks moved. Wendy and I felt led to sell our house, build a new house. Meanwhile, my company went through some of the most stressful change in its 27 year history. I concluded this litany of events by stating, “The tectonic plates of life have shifted beneath us.”
Life happens. Sometimes it feels as if the very ground beneath our feet is shifting. Cracks appear. We feel unsettled. If you’re like me, the result is usually generous doses of anxiety and fear.
In today’s chapter, Moses concludes his life and leadership over the people of Israel by composing and giving them a song. In the song, Moses uses the metaphor of “Rock” to identify God. David and the prophets would later pick up on this same metaphor. Jesus also used this metaphor. He taught us that when life happens, you want to make sure your house is built on bedrock.
Today, I’m thinking about this period of incredible life transition for our that continues to this day. I’m thinking about how Wendy and I have managed through it all. I’m thankful that our hearts are resting on the Rock.
The week started with three days on the road for me. I was in the Twin Cities for a couple of very long days of coaching and training presentations. On Wednesday I drove to Sioux Center for another presentation before arriving home late.
We had a full social calendar over the weekend. On Thursday we met friends Cyndi, Doug and Holly at George’s to partake of Pella’s legendary pizza. We then headed to Pella Christian High School for their performance of West Side Story. It was a great show and we were so impressed with the quality of the choreography and how maturely the leads handled the intimacy between Tony and Maria.
We also had a full house on Thursday. Taylor returned from travels to California and Colorado, along with a couple of days working in Des Moines. It was great to have her back home. Wendy’s mom was also in town to spend some time with grandma and attend a couple of events. She spent the night with us.
Friday we headed to Des Moines. We stopped to spend some time with my folks at their apartment. It was so good to have some time to just sit and chat. Dad was sore from a fall he took a few days before, but they continue to enjoy their home in the retirement community and we got the low down on all that was going on in their world.
From the folks place we headed to Kev and Beck’s for a little Friday night happy hour at their place. As always, we could have stayed and talked all night, but we had special festivities to attend. We headed to Cafe di Scala in the Sherman Hills neighborhood of Des Moines to surprise our friend Chad for his birthday dinner. The V.L.s, J.P.s, and V.W.s gathered to usher m’boy into his final year of his 30’s.
JPs VLs and VWs at Cafe Di ScalaWendy, Jen, and Shay at Cafe Di Scala
Cafe di Scala is a contemporary Italian restaurant located on the main floor of a palatial craftsman style house in the old neighborhood. The atmosphere is warm and inviting. The food is amazing, and the selection of wines was not only unique but also created exquisite pairings with the food. Since customer service is my vocation, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the service was the best I can remember experiencing in Des Moines.
The Pella Pub Crawl Crew
The evening had been full to overflowing, and yet we weren’t through! Our friends Kevin and Linda had been messaging us all night from their impromptu Pella Pub Crawl. By the time we returned to Pella the Pub Crawl crew (including Vandy, Rob, Robin, and Chris) was at Kaldera. We joined them for a night-cap and it was the perfect end to an amazing evening of family, friends, food and fun.
I worked a good part of Saturday as I was behind from my travels earlier in the week, but Wendy and I enjoyed watching both Iowa and Iowa State football teams emerge victorious. It was our first trick or treat evening in our new neighborhood so I donned a little ghoulish make-up to greet the kiddos. It was so fun to see the number of parents who got all costumed up with the kids. There was a Knight and Lady, a cowgirl, and an awesome scarecrow escorting his sweet little Glenda the good.
Trick or Treat!
After the trick or treating was over, Wendy and I drove down the road to visit our friends Matthew and Sarah for a glass of wine and some late night hors d’oeuvres. We ended up staying much later than planned, but with daylight savings ending we got an extra hour of sleep! 😉
Today was blessedly routine, starting with CBS Sunday Morning and our regular time of worship. We came home to watch our Vikings squeak through with a win and now hope to watch the Royals win the World Series before bed tonight.
