Tag Archives: Pleasure

Shades of Schadenfreude

[Jonah] prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.
Jonah 4:2 (NIV)

As I get older, I’ve grown to enjoy etymology, the study of words and their origins. I find it fascinating how these building blocks of communication become part of our everyday conversations, and how they wax and wane in popular usage. I also find it fascinating how cultures ascribe certain significance, power, and meaning to certain words, while others don’t. Our kids in Scotland have a few great anecdotes about uncomfortable social moments when they discovered that a word they used, which has a benign meaning in the States, has a very different meaning in the U.K.

There is a word I first noticed a few years ago, and I’ve found that it’s growing in popularity: schadenfreude. It’s a compound German word that comes from the root words meaning “harm” and “joy“. It means to take pleasure in another’s person’s misfortune.

There certainly is a natural and rather harmless way that we enjoy seeing the bad guy get his comeuppance. I was one of the many who watched the entire series Game of Thrones. The series was masterful in creating really bad characters who I wanted to see come to a nasty, bitter end and was happy when it eventually happened.

At the same time, there is a dark side of schadenfreude that I feel like I’m witnessing more and more in our current culture. It’s not enough to disagree with another person’s political, religious, or social worldviews, we have to publicly call them names and post antagonizing memes on social media. Just last night I found myself shutting off social media and walking away. I realized how mean-spirited the posts were that I was reading and it wasn’t having a positive effect on my psyche or my feelings towards others.

In today’s final chapter of the story of Jonah, we finally learn what was at the heart of Jonah’s mad dash to flee from what God had asked him to do. Jonah didn’t want God to be gracious and merciful with his enemies. Jonah wanted to wallow in schadenfreude and watch his enemies, the Assyrians, suffer.

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus took five common statements about matters of relationship and then told His followers He was raising the bar. Jesus’ expectation for me as a follower is that I behave in a way that goes against the grain of common human behavior:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.”
Matthew 5:43-47 (MSG)

Reading Jonah’s story this week has caused me to do some real personal introspection. You can see it in the common ways my posts have ended the past few days.

As I was reading about the etymology of the word schadenfreude, I learned that many cultures and languages have a word that means the same thing. I recognize that there is a relatively harmless pleasure that I take when my favorite team’s rival loses. C’est la vie. I don’t, however, want to wake up someday and find myself in Jonah’s sandals. Following Jesus means loving, even those people who wish to see me suffer; Even those who actually act on it.

“Forgive them. They don’t realize what they’re doing.”

God, make me more like that.

Mourning…and Moving On

The Israelites wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days; then the period of mourning for Moses was ended.
Deuteronomy 34:8 (NRSV)

Wendy and I enjoyed watching Joe Maddon take over as manager of the Chicago Cubs this year. He brings a lot of fun and laughter to the clubhouse, keeping things light and his players relaxed. “It’s just baseball brother,” Joe says, “never let the pressure exceed the pleasure.” And so, the Cubbies have enjoyed petting zoos, magicians, pajama parties, and a rookie Disney princess dress up day.

As silly as some of it seems, I have also observed some simple wisdom in some of Joe’s clubhouse rules. For example, when the Cubs win, Joe lets the players party and enjoy the victory for 30 minutes. There’s a disco ball and loud music and dancing and a raucous party…for 30 minutes. Then, it’s on to preparations for the next game. Likewise, when the Cubs lose, Joe allows the team to grieve and groan and grumble. A black cloud of mourning the loss can hang in the clubhouse…for 30 minutes. Then, it’s on to preparations of the next game.

In today’s chapter, Moses’ death is followed by a period of national grieving…for 30 days. Then, the mourning ended and it was time to move on to the next chapter of their lives and the conquest of Canaan. As wise King Solomon put it, “there is a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” But, in either case, it’s only for a time.

Today, I’m reminded that there is wisdom in grieving for a time. I’m sure that being swept in the NLCS will be mourned by all of the Cubs this year, and the pain of it will be felt for the rest of their lives. Still, there’s another season for which to prepare. Mourn the loss, but then you’ve gotta move on.

Likewise, we all experience tragedy and loss along our life journeys. The pain will be with us to the end, but at some point the period of mourning has got to end, and the next stretch of the journey has to begin.

The Simplicity of True Enjoyment

2013 07 04 Family at the Lake72So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 1 Timothy 6:8, 17 (NLT) [emphasis added]

I think back to all I have experienced in this life journey and consider which handful of moments have been the most meaningful, spiritually rich, life-giving experiences I have yet known. The most important element seems to be the people I was with in the experience. A few of the experiences involve art, music, or worship. To be completely honest, a few begin with just Wendy, me, and good food – and end with just Wendy, me, and no clothes (Have I mentioned that God loves sex between husbands and wives?!). Sitting back and analyzing here in the pre-dawn hour, I notice, that most of these amazing, life-giving experiences have three common threads:

  1. Good company (family/friends/loved ones)
  2. Good food (a feast, a celebration, or just a good meal)
  3. Good conversation (usually including laughter, and occasionally tears)

I was struck this morning by both the admonishment to be content with food and clothing, and the encouragement that God gives us all we need for enjoyment. How fascinating that not one of the experiences to reach the experiential pinnacle of my forty-some years of conscious memory have anything to do with gadgets, cars, homes, jobs, possessions, sports, bank accounts, IRAs, fortune, or fame. Certainly, a few of the meals and the locations of the meals were the result of the money that made them possible. It is not the food or the location, however, that ultimately made the experience so life-giving – but the people and the interaction.

I am challenged this morning by this realization. If I know that what has been truly enjoyable and life-giving is being around good people, breaking bread together, and engaging in good, life-giving conversation, then why is so much of my life discontentedly drained by chasing after those things which don’t even appear on my list?

 

“Oh, for the Love of – !”

I’ve been getting a lot of comments, shocked looks and awkward questions about my hair lately. For the past 25 years or so I’ve worn your basic clean cut, short cropped look. People get used to seeing you a certain way. I think its especially true of guys who tend to find the look that works (e.g. the woman likes it), takes the least amount of maintenance, and then sticks with it.

A year and a half ago I stunned people by shaving my head for the part of Daddy Warbucks. Clients started asking if I was sick, and people marveled that I was willing to do it. I have to admit that the natural ham in me had a blast with it. I even got a lot of compliments on the shape of my head, thank you very much. At least I know that if I must sport the bald look someday, I can effectively pull it off.

Mug shot of John Dillinger
Mug shot of John Dillinger (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, later this month I’m playing a 30’s era gangster (Lawrence “Guts” Regan) in Ayn Rand’s “Night of January 16th.” I’ve been growing my hair out and giving it some color so that I can pull off a John Dillinger style cut for the show. In order to attempt it, I first have to get it longer – a lot longer. So, I’m getting a lot of strange looks and laughs from family and friends who’ve never seen me try to pull off the long hair thing. I’m using “product” I did not know existed, and I’ve become very attached to hats. I was even told last night that with my generally out of control locks I look like my son-in-law, Clayton (who ironically just cropped his hair short a week ago like I normally wear it).

I’ve been working on an article for our local paper and was reminded the other night about the root of the word “amateur” which basically means one who does something for the love or pleasure of doing it. That’s the funny thing about doing community theatre. You’re a rank amateur. There’s no money in it. There’s no fame. There’s no glory. You do it for the love of it. You do it for kicks and grins and giggles. You do it because you have fun doing it and it fills your Life tank.

My mother is, I’m sure, hoping that “Hair” doesn’t make it on the schedule next year.

Hair (musical)
Hair (musical) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)