Tag Archives: Envy

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 12

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Miriam and Aaron talked against Moses behind his back
because of his Cushite wife (he had married a Cushite woman). They said, “Is it only through Moses that God speaks? Doesn’t he also speak through us?” Numbers 12:1-2 (MSG)

Any person who steps into leadership makes him/herself a good target. Leaders are usually standing up in front. They often find themselves standing alone, in the spotlight, addressing the crowd. No wonder it’s so easy to take a shot at them as they stand there alone. There is a reason that leaders get criticized no matter what they do.

The role of a leader is a difficult one and those who do it well make it look very easy. Like Aaron and Miriam, it’s easy to step back and think that we could do just as good a job, if not better. It’s easy for envy to set in.

“Why not me?”
“What does he/she have that I don’t?”
“It’s not fair that he/she gets all the attention and has it easy.”

There is a reason God tells us to honor and pray for our leaders. It’s easy to criticize and tear down, but it takes discipline to honor and humbly submit to God ordained authority.

Today, I’m watching my words as I speak about others, especially those in positions of leadership.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 11

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The riffraff among the people had a craving and soon they had the People of Israel whining, “Why can’t we have meat? We ate fish in Egypt—and got it free!—to say nothing of the cucumbers and melons, the leeks and onions and garlic. But nothing tastes good out here; all we get is manna, manna, manna.”  Numbers 11:4-6 (MSG)

A couple of weeks ago, Wendy and I spent the week with our friends at the lake. There were four children under the age of five. It has been a long time since I’ve spent such a long period of time with such a number of little ones. I’d forgotten how quickly a child could transform from precious angel to a tearful, whining lump of humanity on the floor. Oh my.

As the week went on and I observed more and more of these sudden Jekyll and Hyde transformations, I was struck again at how adults are just big children who put a more sociably acceptable face on the same flawed human behaviors. Adults whine too, but we usually cloak it in more deceptive communication devices such as passive agressiveness, gossip, sarcasm, and silence.

We are such silly human beings. Even as adults we are constantly discontent with what we have, and continually craving things we don’t have. God blesses us with what we need and in not time we’re bored and discontent, desiring something else. I’ve discovered that sometimes it’s not good for me to get what I crave. What I want isn’t always my Heavenly Father’s best plan for me. But God is a parent, too. Today’s chapter stands in evidence that sometimes He gives in and gives us what we’re whining about, knowing that getting what we crave will prove to be a long, painful life lesson.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Matthew 26

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That is when one of the Twelve, the one named Judas Iscariot, went to the cabal of high priests and said, “What will you give me if I hand him over to you?” They settled on thirty silver pieces. He began looking for just the right moment to hand him over. Matthew 26:14-16 (MSG)

I saw an article last week asking whether Judas Iscariot was in heaven or hell. I didn’t read it. It’s the kind of article that whips up emotions, core beliefs and drives a heated arguments. The publisher loves this, of course, because the buzz gets people reading and responding to the article for which there is really no definitive answer (on this side of eternity) so the paper can’t be faulted for taking the wrong side. It’s a silly argument from my point of view as I’ve come to believe that God’s Judgment Seat is a huge chair, and my butt isn’t that big.

Nevertheless, the question of why Judas betrayed Jesus is one I’m p0ndering this morning as I read the chapter. There were spiritual forces at work. The evil one was certainly not absent. Still, my experience is that there are usually plenty of pre-existing circumstances that make room for the enemy’s presence in a person’s heart. So, this morning I’ve been sketching out a little character study of Judas.

As I journey through the accounts of Jesus’ life and teaching, I constantly run across examples of an ongoing argument among his disciples. Who was greatest? Who was least? Who was going to have a better reward and more honorable position in eternity? There was obviously an inner circle of followers in whom Jesus’ confided and Judas was definitely not one of the inner circle. How badly did this gnaw at Judas? Did the seeds of envy and jealousy help give rise to the fruit of betrayal?

Judas was in charge of the team’s finances. Pretty important position. It was also told that Judas used the position for his own personal gain. I find it interesting that Judas’ betrayal comes immediately after Mary anoints Jesus with an extravagantly expensive perfumed oil.  Had that oil been donated and sold, Judas would have stood to profit from the exchange. Was greed worming its way around his heart, as well? How much did that play a part in tipping the scales from follower to traitor?

Judas betrayal also came at the culmination of an intense amount of conflict. Jesus created a riot when he overturned the moneychangers’ tables at the beginning of the week. There had been an escalating tone to the debate and war of words between the religious leaders and Jesus. Besides, the vision of the disciples riding the gravy train to some glorious take-over and world domination as Jesus ascended a throne in Jerusalem and kicked the Romans out was quickly getting dashed to pieces. The proverbial handwriting was on the wall. A shrewd man could see that the religious leaders would need to kill Jesus to calm the storm he was whipping up against them and to preserve their hold on political power.Besides, Jesus had increasingly been talking about the end of the world and filling his teaching with talk of his death. He was sounding like a mad man, not a king. The future for Jesus’ followers was quickly looking bleak. The pragmatic choice was to throw your lot in with the religious leaders and make enough money to get a new start when the dust settled. In retrospect, for the person concerned with self preservation, it was a simple choice.

Envy, jealousy, greed, and self-centered pragmatism. Those are the core character qualities that I see leading Judas to his decision to betray Jesus. It’s easy to roll my eyes in contempt and shake my head in disbelief at the mention of Judas’ name. However, each and every one of the character qualities which led to his actions are very present in my own heart and life. If you’d like a list of examples, I can give you an earful over coffee. The truth is, I’m not that different than Judas. This is why I’m increasingly reticent slide my rear end onto any kind of seat of judgment.

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Lord, have mercy on me.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Jeremiah 12

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You are right, O God, and you set things right. I can’t argue with that. But I do have some questions:
Why do bad people have it so good?
   Why do con artists make it big?
You planted them and they put down roots.
   They flourished and produced fruit.
They talk as if they’re old friends with you,
   but they couldn’t care less about you.
Meanwhile, you know me inside and out.
   You don’t let me get by with a thing!
Jeremiah 12:1-4 (MSG)

One thing I have noticed a long the way; It is very difficult for us to stop comparing ourselves to others.

  • “Why won’t you buy me a car? Every one of my girlfriends’ parents bought them a car!”
  • “The only reason that guy got published was because he’s the son of someone famous. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Why don’t I have those connections?”
  • “I went to my friends house. It’s so big, and it’s so beautiful. Why can’t I have that?”
  • “That guy runs his business with less integrity than the mafia and he’s making money hand over fist. I try so hard to do the right thing and I can’t get a new client to save my life. What’s up with that?!”
  • “Why does that guy win the lottery and I’m still stuck with more bills than income this month? What gives, God? How about giving me a break for once!”
  • “At least I’m not THAT down-and-out guy. I must be doing something right.”
  • “Awwwww. Her husband gave her flowers. Why does she get him and I’m stuck being married to such an insensitive dork.” 

I am on my own personal journey. It is my journey and while there are certain things common to the human experience, it is still unique. God’s plan for someone else is different than His plan for me. Comparing their path and mine is apples and oranges. My job is to walk my own path well, and seek God’s will for me in each step. I will always be able to find others who appear to have it better, easier, and happier than I do despite the fact that they also appear to fall short of my own personal sense of self-righteousness.

“But Godliness with contentment is great gain.” I Timothy 6:6 (NIV)

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and Helga Weber
Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 1 Chronicles 22

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Bloody hands. David said to Solomon, “I wanted in the worst way to build a sanctuary to honor my God. But God prevented me, saying, ‘You’ve killed too many people, fought too many wars. You are not the one to honor me by building a sanctuary—you’ve been responsible for too much killing, too much bloodshed.” 1 Chronicles 22:7 (MSG)

I’ve got the gift of teaching and preaching. I don’t know why God gave it to me, and I don’t always understand His designs for it in my life, but I’ve got it. I’m not a gifted singer, even though I’m envious of those who are gifted singers. I’d love to open my mouth and have a voice eminate that stops people in their tracks, but that’s not me. I’m a decent singer, and I can belt out a decent tune, but I was never the first choice to sing the solo (or the second or third, for that matter).

Along the journey I’ve had the opportunity to speak and to preach along side some very gifted musicians and worship leaders. I’ve noticed a pattern. Many of them really wanted to be gifted teachers and preachers, but they weren’t. They were gifted singers. I really wanted to be a gifted singer, but I wasn’t.

I recall one weekend I was doing a series of messages. The worship leader, knowing that I secretly wanted to sing, let me try my hand at a solo. It wasn’t embarrassing, but it wasn’t great, either. Everybody knew it. During the worship set, the worship leader went off between songs into a long teaching introduction. There was nothing wrong with what he said, it just didn’t fit. I’ll never forget that evening, After the service I remember saying, “I won’t sing if you don’t preach. You stick with singing. I’ll stick with preaching. It’ll be better for everyone.”

As much as David wanted to build the temple, he wasn’t the right person person. He was a warrior. His job was to make way for the building of the temple, which would be done by his son, who was a man of peace, knowledge and wisdom.

We all have our gifts and our part to play in God’s kingdom. The key is to identify our gift and use it well.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and kypkanomin