Tag Archives: Sloth

The Sex Thing

March 12, 2025 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

“You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices.”
Leviticus 18:3 (NIV)

Sex is always such a hot topic. It is one of our most basic human appetites, and it is naturally one of the strongest and most pleasurable as it drives the perpetuation of life. Like all human appetites, we sinful human beings love to indulge it to excess.

We indulge our appetite for food into gluttony.
We indulge our appetite for rest into sloth.
We indulge our appetite for pride into vanity.
We indulge our appetite for daily provision into greed.

All of these appetites are natural and God-given. We need them for life. One of the insidious effects of Alzheimer’s Disease that I watched slowly destroy my mother’s body is the loss of appetite for food. She forgot that she was hungry. For the last several years of her life her diet consisted of some blueberry yogurt and chocolate nutritional drink. My dad had to practically force her to eat that, or she wouldn’t have eaten a thing. At one point she weighed under 90 pounds.

Our appetites are good and meant for our physical health and life. This includes our appetite for sex. God even dedicates an entire piece of the Great Story, Song of Solomon (a.k.a Song of Songs), to an ancient poem about the sexual appetites of young lovers. When I attended a fundamentalist Baptist Bible college I remember observing the professors contort themselves to explain all of the human sexuality out of the text, turning it into nothing more than a spiritual allegory. One of the problems I’ve observed with the institutional church is that it picks the things on which it focuses, and the subject of sex (other than prohibiting a few aspects of it) is avoided more than any other.

Of course, what makes our appetite for sex different than the other God-given appetites is that all the other appetites and our indulgence in them affect the people around us. Sex involves direct participation with another person. This adds potent and intense dynamics of human relationship, power, intimacy, and abuse.

Today’s chapter is all about sexual prohibitions that God gave to the ancient Hebrew people. Along my life journey, I’ve observed that only one verse of this chapter (the prohibition of homosexual sex) gets quoted or discussed today. That’s a shame, because the context in which that verse was given is, I think, important.

A couple of observations:

First, the list of sexual prohibitions in today’s chapter is preceded with a preamble. God makes it clear that all of the behaviors he’s about to prohibit are things that the Egyptians and Canaanite people groups indulge in. Sex was indulged in without boundary or restraint, and the bulk of the list of prohibitions have to do with incestuous relationships. The Egyptian royals were infamous for their practice of incest to “keep the bloodline pure.” King Tut was a classic example of the consequences, his body genetically disfigured and his life shortened.

Second, these were all patriarchal, male dominated cultures. Guess who drove the indulgence of sexual appetites out of their sheer power, authority, and domination in family and culture? [cue: looking in the mirror]

Third, the sexual appetite was designed by our Creator God for the perpetuation of life through reproduction. It is a physical appetite and it is pleasurable and intimate, but the ultimate physical result is new life. New life (a.k.a being “born again,” resurrection, redemption) is an overarching core theme of the entire Great Story that can’t be ignored. In the last hundred or so years of human history we’ve developed countless ways to indulge in the pleasure of our sexual appetites and mostly eliminate the possibility of new life. The ancients did not have this luxury. Today’s chapter also addresses the way the ancients dealt with the unwanted consequences of their sexual indulgences. They sacrificed their babies to gods like Molek. An appetite that was intended to perpetuate new life becomes a catalyst for systemic infanticide.

Fourth, while today’s chapter does briefly mention a prohibition of homosexual sex, it also clearly mentions a prohibition of adultery. A fundamentalist standing in protest of homosexuality who has committed or is committing adultery is a hypocrite. As Jesus said, “Let he who is without sin…”

Fifth, as I went through the list of prohibitions today, I wrote in the margin the names of individuals within the Great Story who committed the prohibitions. David committed adultery. Solomon with his hundreds of wives and concubines took adultery to even greater indulgent excesses. David’s son Amnon and daughter Tamar had an incestuous romance going before Amnon raped her (see my second point above). Jacob married rival sisters as prohibited in verse 20. A powerful and natural sexual appetite will naturally lead to sexual indulgence like an appetite for food will lead to gluttony at the church potluck. Spiritually, they are equal in their negative effects, but we tend to focus on one and ignore the other.

Finally, in the quiet this morning, God reminds the Hebrews at the beginning and ending of the chapter that He wants them to be different than all the sexually indulgent people around them. He wants them to exemplify and enjoy pleasurable, loving, intimate, and yes productive fulfillment of sexual appetites, avoiding the negative consequences of indulgence for themselves and those around them.

Enjoy fulfilling the appetite without indulging in excess. That’s a worthwhile endeavor for me as it relates to both my sexual appetite and all the others.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

Chapter-a-Day

“Git ‘er done!” (or not)

May 10, 2022 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

The Benjamites, however, did not drive out the Jebusites, who were living in Jerusalem; to this day the Jebusites live there with the Benjamites.
Judges 1:21 (NIV)

As we approached the end of my sophomore year in high school, my English teacher called me up to his desk. He had his grade book on his desk in which he wrote down the grades of all the assignments for every student in class for that semester.

“Your grade this semester is right on the line between an A and a B,” he said. He then pointed to a blank box on the grade book. “You never turned in your third book report this semester.”

He was right. I didn’t really learn the joy of reading until late college and after. I was a terrible reader when I was younger. I didn’t like reading.

“You’re right,” I told my teacher. “I didn’t do it.”

“That’s all you have to say?” he asked.

I had only been a follower of Jesus for just over a year at this point, but I knew what Jesus expected of me was honesty.

“I could stand here and make up an excuse like ‘the dog ate my paper,” but the truth is that I simply procrastinated the assignment and didn’t get it done. I’m sorry. If that means that I get a B instead of an A, then I get that you have to give me a B. I understand that’s the consequence of my not doing it.”

Looking back, that was kind of a small step forward in a larger spiritual journey for me, the journey of honesty, transparency, and confession. A journey I’m still on, for the record. I’m further down the road on that one, but I definitely haven’t arrived.

Today’s chapter kicks off the book of Judges which comes right after the book of Joshua which we just finished. It’s a continuation of the story, so it feels right to keep going. The Hebrew tribes conquered the Promised Land, divided the land, and settled into their allotted territories. Joshua is dead.

But the assignment isn’t finished.

Joshua’s conquest took control of the largest and most strategic cities and peoples living in the region. The Hebrew tribes were dominant in the area, but the inhabitants still remained in smaller areas, cities, and villages. It was now up to each tribe to finish the task and drive the remaining inhabitants from their tribal lands.

The author of Judges begins the story with a record of which tribes succeeded at this assignment, and which did not. Judah and Manasseh were the two largest tribes with the largest fighting forces. They had some early successes, but their campaign stalled.

Whenever I’m reading a chapter of the Great Story and I notice repetition, I always try to pay attention. Here’s what I noticed today:

“but they were unable to drive the people from the plains”
“The Benjamites, however, did not drive out the Jebusites…”
“But Manasseh did not drive out the people of…”
“…they pressed the Canaanites into forced labor but never drove them out completely.”
“Nor did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites living in Gezer…”
“Neither did Zebulun drive out the Canaanites living in Kitron…”
“Nor did Asher drive out those living in Akko…”

There are even more, but you get the picture. The tribes failed to complete the assignment, and that’s exactly what the author of Judges wants me to know because everything else I’m going to read in the subsequent stories is the consequence of this very fact.

There is a formal liturgy used by both Catholic and Protestant institutions called the Litany of Penitence. I occasionally use it in my personal time with God. It opens with this line:

“I confess to you and to my brothers, and to the whole communion of saints in heaven and on earth, that I have sinned by my own fault in thought, word, and deed; by what I have done, and what I have left undone.“

In a moment of spiritual synchronicity, I also read James 4 in the quiet this morning, in which James tells followers of Jesus:

“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

Some mornings, Holy Spirit makes the lesson quite clear. Procrastination comes easy for me. Part of it is the way I’m wired to go with life’s flow. There is a part of it, however, that is much more than that; Its willfulness, laziness, and a nasty habit of not finishing what I started. Unlike Larry the Cable Guy, I often fail to “git ‘er done.”

Ironically, my high school English teacher gave me an A for that semester, and that’s why I still remember the story. That teacher (who was, ironically, Jewish) has always been a reminder to me of a gracious and forgiving God who says, “if you confess your sins, I am faithful and just, and will forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

In the quiet this morning, I once again confess that I’ve still got a ways to go in both honestly owning my own shortcomings, and faithfully finishing tasks on my list.

And so, I enter another day in the journey. Time to get to work on the task list.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

All Worthwhile Things…

March 2, 2020 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

Those who work their land will have abundant food,
but those who chase fantasies have no sense.
Proverbs 12:11 (NIV)

When I first met the man he was a drug dealer. He knew it was wrong, but it was so easy and the money was good. He’d never really given college a serious thought (even though he was very intelligent and had been offered a full-ride). His job options, therefore, were somewhat limited. As the years went on I would see him on an occasional basis. He gave up dealing, but it appeared to me to have given him an appetite for easy money. There was a period of time in which each time I saw him he was trying a different get-rich-quick scheme. I observed that every new scheme he was convinced was his golden ticket to wealth had an up-front-cost to get started which, ironically, quickly made him poorer. The “get rich” part of the schemes never panned out. He eventually worked a few menial jobs for a period of time but his life continued to spiral into despair and depression. Last I knew, he hasn’t had a job for a long time and lives in depressive isolation.

I thought of him this morning when I read the proverb pasted to the top of this post. I have never met a person who so diligently sought a shortcut to riches and ended in such a tragic place, though I have certainly encountered others like him along my life journey. I am reminded of a visit that I paid to a former high school teacher many years ago. As he shared with me the changes that he’s witnessed in students over the years of his career he said, “If my students simply took the time and energy they expend trying to cheat and applied it to their studies they’d be fine.”

In the quiet this morning, I’m reminded that work is work, and there is no avoiding this fact. It’s stated plainly right at the beginning in the Genesis story. Ironically, I just heard it referenced on Ash Wednesday last week as a young man rubbed ashes on my forehead:

“Cursed is the ground because of you;
    through painful toil you will eat food from it
    all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
    and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
    you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”
Genesis 3:17-19 (NIV)

There is something in me that desires for life to be easy, but I long ago embraced the reality that worthwhile things require time, energy, attention, and discipline. In other words: it’s work. This is true in pretty much every area of life including education, career, relationships, family, physical health and wellness, and spiritual growth. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that work is required for results. Right now I’m struggling with the changing body metabolism that occurs naturally at my stage of life. I need more sleep. My body doesn’t burn energy as efficiently. The same diet and exercise regimen suddenly has diminishing effects in comparison to a few years ago. It takes more work than it used to.

Worthwhile things require work. It is what it is. I can try to avoid it, or I can embrace it.

It is Monday morning. Time to get to work.

Have a good week!