Tag Archives: Patience

Random Thoughts, Wayfarer's Journal

Day 16: 3 Things You Are Proud of About Your Personality

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Murph with his tongue waggin'
Murph with his tongue waggin’

30 Day Blogging Challenge Day 16: Three things you are proud of about your personality.

Over the years I’ve used a personality test introduced by John Trent and Gary Smalley in their book The Two Sides of Love with different groups I’ve taught and led. Trent and Smalley use animals as word pictures to describe the four predominate personality types: Lion, Otter, Beaver, and Golden Retriever. It’s a quick and easy little test and the word pictures are something with which people can quickly identify.

While we all have certain dimensions of every personality type, according to the Trent-Smalley test I’m predominately a Golden Retriever. Here are three traits of a Golden Retriever personality I’m proud of:

Deep Relationships: When it comes to relationships, I like to go deep. Some people may be able to survive having a million relationships that are an inch deep, but I require a small handful of relationships that mine the depth of each other’s hearts and lives. I like it that way because it is relationship in the deepest, truest sense of knowing and being known. It is intimate and life-giving for both participants.

Patient: Living in community with others requires generous doses of patience. As a spouse and as a parent I’m glad that my personality comes with a natural sense of patience. I often see conflict and relational damage done by jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle with one another. I like to look back and see how patience with others has allowed the other person to experience, grow and mature in a natural, organic way in God’s time without the entanglement of my impatient pushing, pleading, and critical cajoling.

Good listener: I like that others find me to be a good listener, and I’m often amazed at what complete strangers will tell me within just a few minutes of meeting them. While at times it’s disconcerting, I feel blessed that others trust me to be a confidant to both their joys and their trials.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 9

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source: Flickr & aaron geller

Moses said, “Give me some time; I’ll find out what God says in your circumstances.” Numbers 9:8 (MSG)

My wife hates making decisions. Even on small, seemingly insignificant choices she can brood and meditate for long periods of time. When it comes to major decisions her contemplative hesitation can, at times, feel like paralysis to me. I am aware, however, that God often uses our spouse’s contrasting personality to teach us lessons we need for our own journey.

In a market driven, consumerist culture I find myself constantly having things pushed at me. Between television, e-mail, internet, smartphones, and iPads it’s easy to get swept up in every fad and trend. The latest, greatest, newest, and most improved products and services that appeal to every individual appetite are at our fingertips 24/7/365 and if I’m not careful I can make foolish decisions on a whim with a tap on my touchpad.

Observing Wendy think through her choices has taught me the wisdom of patience. Often, she will put off a purchase and discovers that she really didn’t need it in the first place. Other times, I’ve watched her methodically think through all of the positives and negatives only to unearth a negative that would have ultimately disappointed her.

I was struck by Moses’ response to the people in today’s chapter. “Give me some time.” It reminded me that even Jesus made a habit of going off to a mountain to spend long periods of time in prayer and contemplation. Today, I’m reminded that taking time to make decisions is a good thing. Seeking guidance through prayer leads to wise choices. I can give you a long list of snap decisions I’ve made which didn’t end up so well.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Luke 18

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Then [Jesus] said, “Do you hear what that judge, corrupt as he is, is saying? So what makes you think God won’t step in and work justice for his chosen people, who continue to cry out for help?” Luke 18:6 (MSG)

‘I am going to make for the Bucklebury Ferry as quickly as possible. I am not going out of the way, back to the road we left last night: I am going to cut straight across country from here.’

‘Then you are going to fly,’ said Pippin. ‘You won’t cut straight on foot anywhere in this country.’

‘We can cut straighter than the road anyway,’ answered Frodo. ‘We could save a quarter of the distance if we made a line for the Ferry from where we stand.’

‘Short cuts make long delays,’ argued Pippin.

Today’s chapter reminds me that there is a holy timing within the journey. I must confess that I get tired of the long road. I tire of asking “are we there yet, God?” Crying out makes me weary.

Patience is really hard for me, so like Frodo I’ve often attempted shortcuts in life to quickly get to where (or what) I want. Yet, when I look back at shortcuts and snap decisions intended to get what I wanted in the moment I wanted it, I inevitably learned Pippin’s wisdom the hard way.

Today, I’m once again reminded to trust God’s timing. I feel the frustrating encouragement to keep asking, seeking, and knocking. I am called to keep crying out.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Romans 5

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There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. Romans 5:3-4 (MSG)

There are stretches of the journey when everything seems to go wrong. I’ve been feeling empathy for my youngest who recently, in the process of a few weeks, dropped her new phone in the toilet, cracked the LCD screen on her new laptop, then backed into someone pulling out of the parking lot from getting her car serviced. Sure, not one of these events is a tragic in a life and death context, but taken together they make for a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

The verses I pulled from today’s chapter have been a constant source of encouragement to me along particularly trying legs of life’s journey. Even in the midst of the most difficult circumstances, there is reason to shout our praise to God. There is progress in our pain. God is at work, growing us up. Maturity doesn’t come with comfort and ease. Wisdom is born in the midst of trial. Character is honed in refining fire.

Today, I’m reminded that God allows terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days for a bearable, wonderful, profitable, very good reason.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 1 Chronicles 12

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Whodunnit. When David went out to meet them, this is what he said: “If you have come in peace and to help me, you are most welcome to join this company; but if you have come to betray me to my enemies, innocent as I am, the God of our ancestors will see through you and bring judgment on you.” 1 Chronicles 12:17 (MSG)


My wife is great at guessing what’s coming next in a movie or television program. Within the first few minutes of a program like “The Mentalist” or “Law & Order,” she’ll be saying, “I think he did it.” By three quarters the way through the program she’ll usually have announced who did it along with the means, motive and opportunity. Most of the time, she’s right. Perhaps it’s from hanging out on the couch with her, but I find myself doing the same thing now. I’m not as good as she is, but I’ve gotten better at it.


That’s why the verse from today’s chapter caught me off guard.


When I read David’s opening words, “but if you come to betray me to my enemies…” my mind conjured up a host of likely conclusions that would come from a red-blooded male warrior:

  • I’ll kill you ’til you’re dead.
  • I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.
  • I will personally cut off your head and feed your body to the lions.

What I didn’t expect was “God will see through you and bring judgment upon you.” That’s what I love about David and his story. In so many ways he is a flawed many like any other, like me. But, you constantly catch glimpses of why God called him “a man after my own heart.” David does not presume, like most ego-centric, paranoid warrior kings, to be judge, jury and executioner. He reserves judgement for God and trusts God enough to reveal his betrayer.


How often am I quick to judge? How often do I jump to conclusions and make snap judgements about my children? My family? My co-workers? My friends? Today, I take my lesson from David’s example. Reserve judgement. Stop being so paranoid or jumping to conclusions about who did what. Let God reveal what is true when it’s necessary and in His good time.


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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Isaiah 60

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Time. "I am God. At the right time I'll make it happen." Isaiah 60:22 (MSG)

Time rules our lives. We wake to it, eat to it, work to it, play to it, and sleep to it. We rarely stop to ponder how time affects every area of our daily life and perceptions. This is especially true in an era when we place increasing demands on time, and in turn feel the effects of time's increasing demands on us. Faster. Quicker. Efficient. Productive. More in less. Overnight.

This pressure of time, I believe, makes it increasingly difficult to follow the command to "wait on the Lord." That patience is a fruit of God's Spirit in us is quickly lost on us.

God exists eternally beyond time. He has the ability to see each individual circumstance in context of the whole. God sees purpose in our painful moments. He walks each leg of the journey with us even as he stands with us at the finish line.

Chill. At the right time, He makes things happen.

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Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 131

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Still waiting. Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always! Psalm 131:3 (MSG)

Waiting is a character-producing activity. Even calling the task of waiting an activity seems oxymoronic. Waiting feels like doing nothing. Waiting feels like wasted time.

Still, I'm reminded by the lyrics of today's chapter that my waiting is not void of direction, purpose or activity. I'm to learn contentment as I cool it. I'm to hope while I'm on hold.

[sigh] Man, waiting is hard work.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and Eckler