Tag Archives: Letters

One-Side Correspondence; Two-Sides Love

For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.
2 Corinthians 2:4 (NIV)

My mother was an only child. I’ve observed along my journey that there is a unique dynamic common among mothers and children when it’s just the two of them. My grandmother saved all of the letters that she received from my mother. When she died, my mother kept those letters. They’re now sorted chronologically in an archival box in the room next to my office.

Having one side of an on-going correspondence is a bit like a puzzle when it comes to understanding the story behind the letters. There are things that are obvious and things that are a mystery. Then there are the additional contextual layers of time, location, and historic events. I have read my mother’s letters from around the times of historic events like Kennedy’s assassination to find out if she recorded any thoughts or feelings about the events. To be honest, there wasn’t much there. She was a young mother with twin toddler boys. Her world was pretty small and her attention understandably focused on two little rug rats.

As I read today’s chapter, I thought about my mother’s letters. It’s amazing to me that people forget that the “book” that we know as 2 Corinthians is not a book at all. It’s a letter. It’s a correspondence between Paul and the believers in Corinth and it was written to address the particular circumstances and situations between them at that time.

As with my mother’s letters, we only have Paul’s side of the story. We also don’t have all of the letters. There were at least four letters he wrote to the believers of Corinth. There may have been others. Only two survived, adding even more mysteries of context. As I meditated on the first few chapters of this second of the two surviving letters, one thing is certain: It was a complete soap opera.

From Paul’s first letter, which we trekked through on this chapter-a-day journey last January, we know that there was conflict and all sorts of internal trouble within the local gathering of Corinthian believers. There was conflict of loyalties between the Corinthian believers and different leaders. There were domestic problems among the group like an incestuous relationship and other believers who were so mad at one another that lawsuits were being filed. On top of that were divisions among the Corinthians over matters of conduct like whether it was proper for a follower of Jesus to buy and eat meat from the local market that had started out as a sacrifice in one of the local pagan temples. Then there was the socio-economic divisions in which the wealthier members of the gathering were hanging out in a clique and shunning the poor, lower class brothers and sisters. To top it all off, some people were stuffing themselves at the weekly potluck and getting drunk on the Communion wine.

Paul was off sharing Jesus’ message with other people in other places. So, hearing what was going on, he wrote letters to address the soap opera. In these first two chapters of 2 Corinthians he is addressing where he’s been, what news he’s received in return, and his feelings about the Corinthians and their situation. What becomes clear from today’s chapter is that he loves these people a lot. He feels for them like a spiritual father. He is emotional about it.

I’ve learned along my journey that love has two sides. Sometimes I need the hard side of love to hone the rough edges and blind spots in my imperfect character and behavior. Other times, I need the soft side of love to comfort and encourage me in my discouragement and despair. In his letters to the believers in Corinth, Paul obviously delivered both.

In the quiet this morning, I’m reminded that life is often a soap opera. I can’t help the reality of that. I’m an imperfect human being living with other imperfect human beings in a fallen world. Also, most of the time I have limited knowledge of what other people have experienced or are going through at any given time. It’s like having one-side of the correspondence and there are letters I’m missing. The only thing I do control is my own thoughts, words, and actions towards others. Will I approach and respond to others with thoughtful love and concern like Paul did with his friends in Corinth, or will I respond with judgment, derision, and dismissal?

I pray that others find in me the former.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

“Incomplete” Joy

I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.
2 John 12

There is, in my office, a stack of letters and postcards, the culmination of many years of correspondence between me and one of my longest and dearest friends. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a writer of letters and postcards. I have always found that there is something special in receiving another person’s thoughts and expressions in their own unique handwriting. Email, texts, and social media have made interpersonal communication simple and easy, but that has only increased the value that I place on a note, postcard, or letter than someone has taken the time to pen in their own hand, address, stamp and place in the mail. As it becomes more rare, it increases in value.

The “Book” of 2 John is the chapter today, which is almost laughable. This “Book” is actually a short note written from “The Elder” to a woman whose home was one of the tens of thousands of homes in which the followers of Jesus gathered before the idea of a church building was conceived. Tradition holds that it was John who wrote the letter, though this has always been the subject of debate.

The tone of the brief correspondence is simple and somewhat hasty. The author admits there is so much more to write, but would rather wait and speak face-to-face so that “our joy may be complete.”

After a couple of months of quarantine and social distancing, I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited to see people, hug people, and chat with people face-to-face. Wendy and I are often the last people to walk out of the room when our local gathering of Jesus’ followers meets on Sunday mornings. Just the thought of a “normal” weekly gathering in which several pockets of people are spread around the room after our worship to talk together, laugh together, and pray together almost makes me emotional.

Here in Iowa, things are beginning to slowly return to normal. Our local gathering is giving it a few weeks before we, once again, meet together in person. I’m looking forward to that day. Meanwhile, during this quarantine, I have continued to jot the occasional postcard to loved ones. I trust that, in this time of social lockdown, it will bring a little extra joy than normal when it arrives. Maybe it won’t make joy “complete” like being there in person and giving them a hug, but sometimes the “incomplete” joy of a handwritten note is a much-needed shot of joy.

Meaning-Full Gifts

Wendy, Suzanna and I have been blown away by Apple’s Christmas ad this year. In the ad, a young lady discovers a 45rpm record her grandmother made for her husband who was away in World War II. The granddaughter spends some time on her Apple computer editing the song, adding her own voice and instrumentals to it. On Christmas morning, the grandmother finds her granddaughter’s iPod on the kitchen table along with memorabilia from that period of her life. Perched atop the stairs, her granddaughter watches her grandmother put in the ear buds, push play, and begin to cry. Then it’s kleenex all around at our house every time we see it.

This year, our entire Christmas seemed to be one gift card exchange. I get it. Our family is spread out, Wendy and I are in transition, our folks don’t really need anything, yada, yada, yada. But, I have to admit that the exchange of plastic cards at times seems boring and silly. This year we gave our brother Lucas a Target gift card, and guess what he gave us? Yep, a Target gift card! Feel the joy. God bless us, everyone.

This year I did give my parents one extra gift that cost me nothing but a little time. Utilizing the existing software on my MacBook, I pulled family photos I have taken and scanned over the years and put them into slideshow. It really wasn’t that difficult. I mixed old family photos of previous generations to photos of our own nuclear family through the years, and added a song from my iTunes library as background. I burned it to DVD and, after the gift cards had been exchanged, I played the DVD for my folks. The best gift I received all Christmas was watching my parents as they watched the slide show. I did feel the joy as I watched them light up at the sight of old family photos and calling out the faces and names of people they recognized from previous generations. Before it was over they had both began to cry. My mother’s tearful hug when it was over was priceless.

Wendy and I have talked a lot about this concept of meaning-full gifts this year. We have become so focused on the consumption of goods, that we are often blind to gifts that will be truly valued. A few Christmases ago our dirt-poor college age daughter gave me a simple candy tin on which she painted a colorful design. Inside were some of her favorite photos of the two of us and a couple of colorful magnets. I could take out whichever photo I wanted, attach it to the front of the tin with the magnet, and sit it on my desk. I don’t remember anything else I received that Christmas. I still remember that.

Wendy and I received two meaning-full gifts this Christmas. Suzanna, our dirt-poor college age, live-in sister, spent time sequestered in her room upstairs working on two drawings for Wendy and me. Her own pencil portraits of Charlie Chaplin and Lucille Ball, with “Merry Christmas” hidden in Charlie’s hat ribbon, and Lucy’s necklace. It was unique, original, and made with her own hands. We will treasure them. The other meaning-full Christmas gift came from my dad who made a stained-glass piece which will hang in a prominent place in our new house (I am choosing not to show a photo of it at this point. We’ll let you see it when it’s installed and the sun is shining through it!). We can’t wait to add it to our collection of family artwork displayed in our home.

2014 suzannas christmas drawings

You don’t really need a ton of creativity or artistic ability to make and give meaning-full gifts. Here are a few suggestions for next Christmas or an upcoming gift giving holiday:

  • A playlist or music mix provides all sorts of possibilities. Share music that is meaningful between the two of you. Share with your children or grandchildren the music that you listened to as a kid, what songs bring back memories, and what those memories are. Share with your parents the music you remember from your childhood or the music that your parents taught you to appreciate. Don’t forget to add some liner notes describing why you chose each song.
  • Memories are always meaningful. What family treasures or heirlooms can you utilize to honor those special moments of the past? Still have that trove of love notes/cards your spouse gave you when you were courting? How about a simple treasure chest box from the local art/hobby store in which you place all of those special notes, along with a brand new love note to add to the horde.
  • Old family movies on 8mm film or VHS videotape gathering dust in the attic can easily be transferred to digital formats which can be edited or played on almost any media. Most computers today come with built-in software which allows you to take the digital video and make your own home movies. You don’t even have to edit. Most family members will love watching the raw, unedited footage of years past.
  • In this age of e-mail, a hand-written letter has become rare, and in my estimation more valuable. I have always believed that our handwriting, sloppy as it may be, is an original work of art. A handwritten letter that’s signed, sealed, and delivered is a welcome surprise amidst the daily pile of junk mail and bills delivered by the U.S. Postal Service. Write a letter thanking your parents for all they’ve done for you (give examples), tell your children how proud you are of them (give examples), say “I’m sorry” to a loved one you’ve hurt, say “I forgive you” to a loved one who hurt you, or take a trip down memory lane and share with a loved one a meaningful memory the two of you share.

A big “thank you” to all who gave me gift cards this year, including my wife. I will enjoy using them on special treats for myself, and am truly grateful. I hope you enjoy the piece of plastic I gave you in return. I hope we all realize that meaning-full gifts are gifts in which the value cannot be established by a magnetic strip on the back.

Chapter-a-Day Acts 28

from things_to_remember via Flickr

As Paul gathered an armful of sticks and was laying them on the fire, a poisonous snake, driven out by the heat, bit him on the hand. The people of the island saw it hanging from his hand and said to each other, “A murderer, no doubt! Though he escaped the sea, justice will not permit him to live.” But Paul shook off the snake into the fire and was unharmed. Acts 28:3-5 (NLT)

When Taylor called me from Africa a few weeks ago, we enjoyed a long conversation about the conditions where they are staying and what they are experiencing. One of the things I’ve consistently heard from friends and family who have travelled to remote, undeveloped areas of the world is that spiritual forces are much more visible in every day life compared to our own culture that tends to deny and suppress spiritual things. When I asked if this was true where they were staying and working, Taylor said that it was true without a doubt. As an example, she related the story of a local woman who had been possessed and had screamed non-stop at the top of her lungs for days.

It is impossible to journey through God’s Message and read the first-hand accounts of Jesus’ life without being faced with an uncomfortable realization about the spiritual realm. There are forces of Light and there are also forces of darkness. Jesus regularly encountered and confronted individuals who were possessed by spiritual darkness.

C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters, his classic book about the forces of spiritual darkness, that there are two equally foolish mistakes we can make when approaching this sensitive subject. One is to give too much consideration to the forces of darkness, the other is to give too little consideration to them. I often ponder this. While I do not doubt that many easily explained phenomena are incorrectly labeled as spiritual issues, I equally believe that many truly spiritual issues are incorrectly dismissed as easily explained phenomenon.

I loved the image of Paul getting bitten on the hand by the poisonous snake, holding it up and then shaking it off into the fire. Of course, the snake has been the metaphorical symbol of spiritual darkness since the Garden of Eden. Jesus taught that those who believe and receive Him into their hearts and lives are subsequently filled with Light, and where there is Light there is no darkness. That doesn’t mean that darkness cannot attack us. Like Paul, all who follow Jesus are susceptible to spiritual snake bites. We can take courage, however, that those who are in Christ have nothing to fear in these attacks; We can simply shake it off.