Tag Archives: Girl Dad

Taken

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem.
Esther 2:8 (NIV)

I am a certified “Girl Dad.” No sons, two daughters. I played dress up. I had make-up applied and my hair done. One of the greatest compliments of my entire life was when my young daughter told their mother they wanted daddy to do their hair before school.

Badge of honor.

And, of course, there were story times and Disney Princesses. The girls grew up during the era when Disney released classics like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin for the very first time. I’m pretty sure I had the entire script and all the lyrics of both Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin completely memorized at one point because I heard them so many times.

As a Girl Dad I used my authority to ensure Taylor and Madison were exposed to Tolkien and Lewis at bedtime. Nevertheless, there is no doubt that a little girl’s heart is enamored with beautiful, common women who become a princess.

The story of Esther is commonly referenced as a Disneyesque princess story. The bones are all there. A young foreign girl. She’s beautiful. Of all the beautiful girls in the empire she finds the King’s favor. In Sunday School classes and children’s bedtime Bible stories, it reads this way.

But, the real story is not that.

One of the themes of Esther is that of things being hidden. So far in the first two chapters we find Uncle Mordy instructing Esther to hide her true nationality. There is a hidden plot to kill the King. We’re going to find a lot of things hidden in the story. This is ironic, because also what is hidden is just how brutal the real story is.

Esther is a Jew living in exile in a foreign land.
Mordecai tells her to hide her nationality because if it was revealed it would likely mean banishment at best, at worst execution.
Esther was taken. The verb is used twice. No choice. Not chosen. Taken.

This is not a beauty pageant. It’s a brutal imperial machine designed and built to provide the King with a different top-shelf, flesh-and-blood toy for his every sexual whim every.single.night.

It’s ancient, legalized sex-traffic.

Esther had no choices. She was forced into her circumstances.
Forced from her home into the servitude of an imperial harem.
Forced to live among hundreds of women. Every one of them a rival.
Forced into regimented treatments to turn her into an object.
Forced to learn how to sexually please the king, whatever he wanted.
Forced to be a royal whore for one night which doubled as an audition.

It doesn’t take a Girl Dad to tell you, that’s sick.

This isn’t a fairy-tale.
Esther isn’t Jasmine on a magic carpet singing A Whole New World.
Esther is more Destiny’s Child roaring out a gritty I’m a Survivor.

And here’s the truth that’s uncomfortable for any who want the Christian life to be it’s own form of fairy-tale: God’s providence does not sanitize the system before He begins working within it.

Life is messy. Life is hard. Ordinary human beings find themselves in horrific and tragic circumstances every day, all over the world.

God is not absent.

He is moving silently through an uncle’s devotion, a whispered plot, the granting of a young girl enough wisdom to know she should heed the advice of an advisor who knows things others don’t.

Amidst horrific and tragic circumstances, God is crafting a Story that the characters will not realize until several more chapters are written.

God’s hand in the plot is often hidden until later chapters of life reveal it.

I know that I always want Chapter 4 clarity while I am living in Chapter 2 confusion. I want purpose explained before obedience is required. I want the rescue before the risk.

But today’s chapter suggests something quieter and deeper:

I don’t need to know the reason to trust the Story in the moment.

Faith often means accepting the oil and perfume seasons — the long preparations, the uncomfortable lessons no one wants to talk about. The agonizing realities that seem pointless — trusting that God is doing invisible work.

Somewhere right now there is a door I walked through that felt ordinary.

Somewhere there is a conversation I thought was small.

Somewhere there is a record being written I have already forgotten.

And years from now I may discover:

That was the hinge.

That was the turning point.

That was the moment God quietly positioned me — for something still waiting to be revealed.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Send Phoebe

Send Phoebe (CaD Rom 16) Wayfarer

I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me.
Romans 16:1-1 (NIV)

One of the things that has changed most dramatically in my spiritual worldview in my 40-plus years as a disciple of Jesus is my thoughts on women and their role within the Body of Christ. My early spiritual journey as a believer was among conservative, even fundamentalist, groups. They believed that the role of women was to be limited, and I didn’t think much about it at the time. I simply absorbed it as all young people tend to do when they are young.

Not surprisingly, it was in college that I first encountered pushed back on some of the things I’d been taught to believe about the role of women. Even more personally, I realized that some of my own personal thoughts and feelings about women were offensive, even hurtful, to women who I cared about and deeply respected.

Over subsequent years, I was led to serve in different flavors of denominations. They had different views on the role of women than the ones with which I was raised. I actually experienced having women serving right alongside me as elders, teachers, and pastors. What I experienced was good. Women brought wisdom and understanding that expanded conversations in healthy ways. I learned from their perspectives, which were different than male perspectives.

Then, of course, God saw fit to make me a Girl Dad of two amazing daughters, and God led me to a loving, female, spiritual force of nature named Wendy. The women in my life have taught me so much about female strengths and capabilities that teach me things the men in my life never could. I have witnessed them being treated unequally and experiencing discrimination. I have heard their stories and have walked with them in their pain. I became their champion, and it changed the way I think of all women.

Finally, there’s God’s Message. Along the 18 years I’ve been doing this chapter-a-day blog and podcast, I’ve often shared my experience of continually returning to the same books, chapters, and passages I’ve read countless times over 40 years. The text doesn’t change, but I have changed. I’m on a different waypoint on the road of life. I have grown and experienced new things since the last time I read and meditated on today’s chapter. It meets me in a different place and it has new things to teach me.

Healthy things grow. Growing things change.

Today’s final chapter of Romans is a standard list of personal greetings that Paul added to his letters that were meant to be read to all of the believers and circulated around. He begins by introducing them to the person who personally carried the letter to Rome and delivered it. A woman named Phoebe. He introduces her as a “deacon” within the church at Cenchreae as a “benefactor” of many, including himself. The reality is that we don’t know for certain where the Jesus Movement was in the process of establishing official roles of organization at this point in time. Nevertheless, Paul is certainly introducing her as a respected person of means and status to whom he has appointed a personally important task.

This stood out to me as I read it in the quiet this morning. Phoebe is one of a long list of women who played a critical role in Jesus’ ministry and in the early Jesus Movement. As I meditated on this woman, Phoebe, I wondered how many times over 40 years I’ve read this chapter and completely ignored the reality that was staring me right in the face? Here is a woman of status and means, potentially an official within the Jesus’ movement, to whom Paul had given the important task of delivering his letter to the believers in Rome. Paul speaks highly of her and tells the Romans to take good care of her. She is a respected and trusted spiritual colleague. I want to be surrounded by women like that in all areas of my life. Thank God, I am.

In the quiet this morning, I once again find myself meditating on how grateful I am for the women in my life. I couldn’t do the things I do without them. They support, enhance, and empower me. They challenge me and force me to consider new perspectives. They make me a better man, and a better human being.

“Hey Paul? Who do you trust to get this letter to the believers in Rome?”

“Send Phoebe.”

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.