Tag Archives: Celebration

Wayfarer's Journal

Christmas 2014

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As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, this Christmas seemed a bit odd and low key compared to previous years. 2014 has been a year of transitions and Christmas reflected that fact in many ways. Taylor was in France and Madison was flying the friendly skies and enjoying a layover with Uncle Terry, Aunt Bonnie, and Ellie. With nine weeks to moving, our decorations at Vander Well Manor were minimal and Wendy and I opted to forego gifts as we have a lot of “gifts” to buy for our new house.

Madison was home briefly the week before Christmas, and that kicked off our holiday gatherings. The Vander Well and Keithley clans got together for a pizza party at Grandpa Dean and Grandma Jeanne’s.

Christmas Eve we headed to Ankeny in the afternoon with Grandma and Suzanna. Wendy and I dropped the ladies off at mom and dad Hall’s and then met up with our friends Dave and Maria who were visiting from Grand Rapids. Back to the Hall’s we enjoyed a wonderful “Iowa soul food” meal of roast from the crock pot, mashed potatoes, gravy and homemade bread. Christmas goodies were abundant for dessert. It was a small crowd. Beside Wendy and Suzanna, Lucas was the only other sibling to join us. Becky and Courtney joined us for a FaceTime session with baby Lydia. We had the gift exchange after dinner and enjoyed a quiet evening swapping family stories and enjoying each other’s company. Wendy, Suzanna, and I headed back to Pella late that evening.

Christmas morning in Pella was quiet for the three of us. We made our traditional Christmas breakfast and enjoyed it together before exchanging gifts. By late morning, Wendy and I had packed up a crock pot of French Dip beef and two bottles of wine, and headed to Des Moines for lunch with the Vander Wells. Suzanna headed back to Ankeny to spend Christmas day with her folks. On the way to Des Moines we spoke to Madison who was still celebrating with Uncle Terry and Aunt Bonnie. She had a wonderful time with them and we were so happy to know she could spend Christmas Eve and morning with family.

 

Sam and Emma were the only grandkids present for Christmas at the VWs this year, but Sam arrived with his girlfriend, Lydia, who added extra energy to our family gathering. We enjoyed a laid-back lunch before heading downstairs for the gift exchange, which then led to family games. Taylor called on FaceTime from France and the whole family got to grill her about her experiences across the pond. By late afternoon, Wendy and I were feeling really tired. I had been up at 2:30 a.m. to turn on the slow cooker and never really got back to sleep. Wendy and I headed home and hung on to consciousness as long as possible, finally heading to bed around 9:30. Goodness, I feel old typing that.

Saturday was our final family gathering. It was back to Ankeny to celebrate with the Vander Hart crew, once again at mom and dad Hall’s. Plenty of food and Christmas treats to spare for the small gathering. Grandma Vander Hart had been staying there since we brought her up on Christmas Eve day. Deb and Doug, along with Brad, were the only VH siblings to join us. Suzanna, Wendy, Nicole, and Brant were the grandkids present. Brant and Amy’s kids Addy and Clayton provided equilibrium to the generational curve.

Now we turn our attention to the New Year as Wendy and I prepare to celebrate our 9th anniversary!

 

Chapter-a-Day

Low-Key Birthday Confessions

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Birthday Cake
Birthday Cake (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“May the day of my birth perish,
and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’”
Job 3:1 (NIV)

There are always interesting differences that emerge when you marry someone from a different family system. I never expected birthday traditions to be one of them, but life is full of surprises. I come from a family that celebrated birthdays, but did it as a rather low key affair. Mom baked our favorite cake. There were a few small presents from mom and dad, but we never did much of anything between siblings. In the childhood years birthdays meant you could have a sleepover (with a maximum of two friends). It was a special day that I looked forward to as a child, but as the years went by my feelings and expectations around birthdays diminished.

As I progressed into adulthood, the low key birthday traditions of my family evolved into even more low key expectations. If my siblings and I even remember each other birthdays there may, perhaps, be a phone call or voice mail message with kind wishes, though even that is not an expectation. Once in a great while there might be a token gift or a gag gift, but those rare occasions are frosting on the proverbial birthday cake. My family is so bad with remembering birthdays that my siblings and I will occasionally text each other reminders knowing that it’s likely someone forgot.

I’m not proud of this, mind you. It is what it is. Yet, along the journey I’ve come to realize that my low-key traditions and expectations surrounding birthdays are rather offensive to particular friends and loved ones. Wendy finds it appalling, and it only took one memorably disastrous birthday into our marriage to discover that I had better raise the bar for myself when it comes to the annual celebration of her birth. I’m a work in progress.

All of this pondering about birthdays comes as I read Job’s lamentation this morning. His tragic circumstances cause him to rue the day of his birth. Forget being low-key about the date, he curses the day he was born. No matter where you land on the importance of birthdays, there is no doubt that the day of our birth has inherent meaning. It is a special date because it was the date we entered this world. Birthdays, whether low-key or grand affairs, are linked to a celebration of life. To curse the day of our birth is to curse the precious gift of life that God purposed in our being and existence in this world.

I hear in Job’s words the kind of extreme, all-or-nothing thoughts that I have commonly witnessed coming out of despair both in myself and in others. Our life can feel so terrible in this one moment that we are blind to anything worthwhile, life-giving, or redemptive about our lives to this point. Extreme circumstances birth extreme emotions which, in turn, produce extreme thoughts (and sometimes actions). I don’t find anything sinful or improper in this. It is altogether human to experience these thoughts and emotions. The threat that this brings to our lives is to either give in to the extreme thoughts and emotions until it conquers our spirit, or to deny the thoughts and emotions in what will be an unsuccessful attempt to pretend that we are unaffected by our circumstances. Either of these ultimately end in the diminishment of Life.

Today I am thankful for Job and the day of his birth. I am thankful for the example he gives us in the honesty of his grief. This important human emotion, when experienced and processed in healthy ways, can lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of life.

I am also thinking today about birthdays and my relative nonchalance surrounding them. Birthdays are a celebration of lives that mean a lot to me, and lives that have deeply impacted me and my own life journey. They are an opportunity to say, “You are important to me.” Lesson noted. I’ve got some work to do.

Chapter-a-Day

A Change in My Attitude Toward Weddings

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Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:9 (NIV)

I had never been wild about weddings. So much to do about things that seem so trivial. So much tension between brides and their mothers. So much time, energy and attention on misplaced priorities. My attitude when required to attend or officiate a wedding had always been to grin and bear it.

That is, until New Year’s Eve 2005 when Wendy and I were married in the grand ballroom of the Temple for Performing Arts in Des Moines. We has spent months planning a celebration of our marriage. We had put a lot of thought into minimizing things that didn’t matter (flowers, tuxes, dresses trappings) and focusing on things that we felt mattered most (sincerity, honoring God, expressing ourselves, catering to our guests).

Being theatre people, we scripted a gala New Year’s Eve wedding that would flow for everyone in attendance. We sent out save the date cards telling people to get ready to dress to the nines and enjoy a New Year’s Eve party like no other. At 8:00 p.m. we were married on the ballroom as our guests sat at tables around the perimeter of the floor. As I kissed my new bride to end the ceremony, the strains of Etta James’ “At Last” began and we had our first dance. We were, after all, standing on the dance floor. When the song was over the food was blessed and served, the wine was poured, and the party began. Simple. Ceremony then celebration. No waiting. No standing around. Let the wedding feast begin!

We danced and celebrated with family and friends until midnight then rang in the New Year and our new lives together. I know that I’m biased, but it was an incredible wedding. I would do it all over again with very few changes (we’re theatre people – there are always things you can do to improve the last performance).

I realized this morning as I read the verse above that I have a completely different perspective reading it than I would have had before that night. Wedding as celebration of something special, eternal, life giving, and communal had never been real for me until that night. I look back on that special night and think about the wedding feast of the Lamb as a similar celebration exponentially more incredible.

No more grinning and bearing it. I have a different attitude towards weddings, and when it comes to the wedding feast of the Lam, believe me, I can’t wait.

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Chapter-a-Day

Layered Stories of Redemption

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Christmas Gifts[God] provided redemption for his people;
    he ordained his covenant forever—
    holy and awesome is his name.
Psalm 111:9 (NIV)

Scholars believe that the lyrics of today’s psalm (and tomorrow’s) were likely written by the same lyricist in “post-exilic” Israel. In the years after King David and his son, Solomon, ruled, the nation of Israel split into two nations (the northern kingdom of Israel, and the southern kingdom of Judah). The kingdom of Israel was eventually besieged by the Assyrian army. The southern kingdom was defeated by the Babylonians. The temple of Solomon was largely destroyed along with the walls of Jerusalem,  and their best and brightest were hauled off into exile in Babylon (e.g. the story of Daniel). Eventually, a remnant returned to rebuild the walls (e.g. the story of Nehemiah). Psalms 111 and 112 were likely written in this period of time when the exiles had returned to their home.

As I read and write this morning I am in Christmas hangover. We’ve spent a wonderful few days with family and friends. Gifts have been opened. Time has been spent with loved ones. There has been plenty of feasting, and my body is feeling the effects of it. Wendy and I have spent time in worship, remembering Jesus’ birth, and have served in worship. It’s been a great week.

In the bright wrapping of a story about a new baby, shepherds, angels, and wise men, it is easy to lose sight of the ultimate purpose this Christmas chapter plays in the epic story God is telling in history. God is a purposeful author, and I have observed that he layers history with recurring themes. The people of Judah had lived as slaves in exile, and God had provided redemption in returning them home. The whole of God’s story is about all of humanity being enslaved by our own wrong choices and exiled from our Creator and our spiritual home. God himself provides redemption:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)

The larger story of Christmas is the story of God’s Son choosing exile on this Earth in the form of human flesh, in order to ransom and redeem we who cannot redeem ourselves:

[Jesus] had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion. Philippians 2:6-8 (MSG)

Today, I’m thinking of the interweaving layers and themes of God’s Message and story. I’m thinking about the celebration of gifts given and a baby born here in December, and how quickly it gives way to the commemoration of the death that same baby suffered and died just a few months later. I am thinking about old things passing away, about redemption, and about new things coming with a new year.

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Wayfarer's Journal

Easter 2013

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Taylor, Grandma Jeanne, and Jody celebrating Easter with us!
Taylor, Grandma Jeanne, and Jody celebrating Easter with us!

Families tend to get into traditions. The VWs have for years celebrated Easter with a nice dinner at Grandpa Dean and Grandma Jean’s house in the early afternoon. As Wendy and I planned for Easter this year, we thought it might be nice to shake things up and give my folks a break from having to make a meal and host. After getting the quick and joyful approval of my mother (“I don’t have to cook? YAY!”) we decided to broadcast the invite to the rest of our nearby family members.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. Sometimes traditions are hard to break and to be honest I didn’t think everyone would want to drive the 1-2 hours from Des Moines, Ames and Boone on a holiday. To our surprise, the only family to turn us down were the two college boys. So it was that 13 of us gathered here at cozy little Vander Well Manor for Easter.

My folks came down early and went to the 11:00 worship service with Wendy and me. Wendy’s folks and Suzanna, Taylor and Clayton, Grandma Vander Hart, and the Keithley clan (Scott, Jody & Emma) all joined us between 12:30 and 1:00. I took care of the main meal (Roast in the crock pot, herbed potatoes and glazed carrots with homemade Italkian bread). Others brought relish, veggies and cinnamon rolls. Wendy took care of the desserts: a key lime cheesecake  and white cupcakes decorated in a spring flower theme.

The weather cooperated with sunny skies and relatively warm temps for late March in Iowa. It was an awesome day with the family! Later in the evening after cleaning up, Wendy and got to FaceTime with Maddy Kate who celebrated Easter with Brett & Micki Strait in Colorado Springs. It was so nice to know she had some good Iowa love to share with on Resurrection Day!

Wayfarer's Journal

Christmas & New Year’s Recap 2012

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It’s hard to believe the holidays have come and gone. It was an enjoyable time for Wendy and me. In fact, Wendy commented the other day that these were the most enjoyable holidays for her in many years. For the archives, here’s a run down of what we did this year.

On Sunday the 23rd, Wendy and I hosted the Vander Hart clan (that’s Wendy’s mother’s family) at our house in the afternoon. Eighteen people are a lot to squeeze into Vander Well Manor, but it’s a loving bunch so everyone rubbed elbows and enjoyed appetizers and goodies while we chatted the afternoon away. I enjoyed hanging out with a bunch of the other kids (I’m still a kid, aren’t I?) and catching up on where they are and what they’re doing.

Christmas Eve Day was quiet for Wendy and me. There was nothing on the calendar except for helping video tape the Christmas Eve service at church in the afternoon. Wendy was in the Director’s chair while I helped on camera. We spent the rest of the day cleaning up the house, preparing the Christmas meal ahead of time and wrapping a lot of gifts we’d left until the last minute. We were nestled all snug in our bed when  Taylor and Clayton arrived in the wee hours. Taylor worked until late and they drove down to be at our house on Christmas morning.

With children coming and going, we haven’t had the chance to make really firm Christmas traditions, but Christmas breakfast is the closest we’ve come to it. This year, Wendy made homemade cinnamon rolls and breakfast casserole. We enjoyed having Clayton and Taylor with us. After breakfast Madison joined us on FaceTime. We’d sent her gifts back to Colorado with her and we all opened gifts together.

Taylor and Clayton headed to Clayton’s mother’s house while Wendy and I cleaned up and headed to Des Moines. We’d made crock pot French Dip and took that with us to the Vander Wells. We had lunch at my folks and then opened gifts in the afternoon before Wendy and I headed back home.

On the 26th, we picked up Wendy’s sister, Becky and her husband, Court, and headed north to the Hall family gathering at Mom & Dad Hall’s place in Boone. It was small gathering as most of the seven siblings and their families were unable to attend. Lucas’ girlfriend Polley joined us from Tennesse, however and maybe it was a good thing that she didn’t get overwhelmed with the entire crew all at once! We had a wonderful Iowa meal of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, stuffing and homemade bread. I piled everything together on my plate swirled it together and dug in! Mmmmmmm.

On Friday night, Dec 28th we went to Des Moines for the afternoon to peruse the after Christmas sales. We then met our friends Kevin and Becky at Chuck’s restaurant where we enjoyed celebrating our anniversary and hearing our friend Heather singing. I was also surprised to find that the piano player was a guy I went to high school with and we enjoyed a nice conversation. It was one of those evenings of sitting down at the table a little after six then enjoying a drawn out meal and entertainment. We didn’t get up from the table until 10:30.

The weekend was fairly quiet. On Saturday Becky & Court drove to Pella and we dined at the Windmill Cafe with Grandma VH, Uncle Mel and Aunt Linda. Becky and Court stuck around and chatted the afternoon away. On Sunday, Wendy and I sat on the couch and cheered the Vikings into the playoffs with a victory over the Packers!

On New Year’s we headed to Chad and Shays for appetizers and wine along with friends Matthew and Sarah. Dinner at Kaldera and then back to our house for Wendy’s cheesecake. Then, it was back to Chad and Shay’s to relieve the babysitter. Chad, Shay, Wendy and I popped the cork on the bubbly and the four of us quietly rang in the new year.

New Year’s Day was when the decorations came down and we worked to clean up the house. Things are back to normal and the routine has already begun to set back in, but it was a restful and loving time with family and friends this year.

Looking forward to many good things in 2013!

News Briefs

Happy Birthday Dad!

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Dean Vander Well on his 3rd birthday (1940)

Today we celebrate my Dad on his birthday. He was three years old in the picture above, but today he is three quarters of a century old and still young at heart. Thanks for a lifetime of love, hugs, support, time, assistance, provision, grace, prayer, laughter, wisdom, and integrity.

Love ya, Dad!

Wayfarer's Journal

The Celebration Gauntlet

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For most people, the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays represent a flurry of activity and celebration that taxes energy levels, bank accounts, and both the relational and emotional reserves. For Wendy and me, Thanksgiving and Christmas are just the beginning. Along with Christmas we also get to celebrate Wendy’s birthday and our wedding anniversary in a ten day celebratory gauntlet.

Wendy’s birthday was celebrated with a date day in Des Moines. We went to the mall, did a little shopping, stopped into J. Crew to see Taylor, and went to see Sherlock Holmes in the theater. We then enjoyed a leisurely meal at The Club Car with our friends Kevin and Becky. I took my life into my own hands this year by buying Wendy clothes for her birthday. With the help of Taylor, who has become quite adept at helping people pick out clothes, we picked out a nice sweater and a dress for Wendy. I must admit that I didn’t do too bad with either one. One huge sigh of relief.

After our Christmas in Denver, the rest of the Christmas holiday seemed fairly low key. Christmas Eve day was spent at home. Wendy’s folks and her sister came to town for lunch. I played bass in worship for all three afternoon/evening services at church. Wendy and the family came to the 6:00 p.m. service. Wendy and I then went back to church at 11:00 p.m. to meet Taylor for the candlelight service.

Christmas Day dawned and the morning was quiet. Madison stayed in Colorado Springs to work over the holiday break. Taylor and Clayton were celebrating with Clayton’s family. So, Wendy and I enjoyed a quiet morning to ourselves. At noon the kids came over and jumped in our car and we headed to Des Moines to have lunch with Grandpa & Grandma Vander Well, Jody’s entire crew, and my brother Tim and his girlfriend Kumi. Grandma’s roast had inadvertently been left out of the oven, so it wasn’t done in time for lunch, but there was plenty of her homemade chicken and noodles over biscuits (and her homemade cinnamon rolls!) so no one complained. We opened gifts in the afternoon and Skyped Madison in to say hello to everyone.

We headed back to Pella late in the afternoon and opened gifts with the kids in the early evening. We had delivered gifts to Madison in Denver, but she waited to open them and we Skyped her into the festivities so we could all open gifts together.

The last Christmas celebration came on the 26th. The Halls came back to Pella for potluck at Grandma Vander Harts.

Wendy and I still have our sixth wedding anniversary to celebrate this weekend, but that’s another post 🙂

Wayfarer's Journal

Taylor’s 21!

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Cheers, Taylor!

 

Twenty-one years ago yesterday, Taylor was born on a 4th of July evening. With Taylor’s 21st birthday hitting this holiday weekend, my mind has been taking a lot of trips down memory lane. A small handful of my favorite Taylor memories are:

    • Taking her with me on hospital calls and to the nursing home when I was a pastor. Her contagious two-year-old smile and joyful disposition had more of a healing effect than anything I ever said or did.
    • Daddy-daughter trips to the Art Center and Cubs games.
    • Taking a clay class together downtown and teaching her the weather beacon rhyme.
    • Lots of singing and dancing together. I especially loved dancing together at the annual Daddy-Daughter Valentine’s dance when she was a little girl and of course dancing with her at her wedding.
    • Being on stage together.
    • Reading The Lord of the Rings at bedtime, especially when Gandalf fell in the Mines of Moria and she cried.
Taylor drew this as a gift for me on Father's Day
    Taylor has turned into a beautiful woman inside and out. She blessed me with a wonderful Father’s Day gift. She did a great portrait of me in charcoal from a photograph of me in college that she loved. I felt so honored.

Today I took Taylor out for a daddy-daughter date to celebrate her birthday and, for the first time, I bought her a drink. We had a nice conversation, we laughed, and we talked about life.

I remember when Taylor was a baby and I would try to picture what she would look like as a woman, what she would be like and how she would turn out. I never cease to be grateful for such a great kid who has been and continues to be such a blessing.

Happy Birthday, Taylor!

Wayfarer's Journal

Easter 2011

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Cubbie Bear stopped by to wish me a Happy Birthday!

The Easter weekend started with my birthday party which was celebrated a week early. Wendy has always wanted to rent a skybox at Principal Park and have a birthday party for me. The I-Cubs aren’t in town on my actual birthday, so the festivities were planned for last Friday night. It was a cold, drizzly night so it was nice that we had a warm, dry skybox to enjoy the game. As the sun went down, fog started rising from the outfield and the game was eventually called after seven innings because of it. There were, however, fireworks after the game which was a great way to end the evening.

Wendy and I volunteer on the tech team at our church and Easter Sunday is always a major technical production. Half of the worship team is in the sanctuary and half in the auditorium. So the Easter service happens together in two rooms with audio and visual hook up between the two. Wendy was on a camera and I was running a light board. So, Saturday was rehearsal and then all Sunday morning was spent helping with two of the three Easter Sunday services.

After church, we headed to Des Moines to have Easter dinner with the VWs. The Keithley crew were there along with Tay & Clay and Uncle Tim. We were also excited to have our family friend Dave with us. Dave is in from Rhode Island helping renovate Tim’s building. It had been many years since I’d seen him.

We missed Maddy Kate who was in Minneapolis. She is finishing up school and will return to Pella in early May.

Wendy and the Girls
The guys brave the cool, wet weather.