In the course of my life he broke my strength; he cut short my days. Psalm 102:23 (NLT)
It is early morning as I write this. The rising sun lends a gorgeous pink hue above the tree line. The unseasonably cool temperatures are causing mist to rise off the lake and blow like clouds across the picture window.
It is going to be a beautiful day. I am alive and well. I love and am loved.
I read Psalm 102 and in the lyric I hear the heart struggle of a young man afflicted and terminal. His days are cut short and he doesn’t know why. It could be me, but it’s not. Not today.
I look out once again through the picture window this morning and am reminded that this is the day I have.
(I wrote this post this past Monday morning, but forgot to hit “publish.” Some mornings I’m less awake than others. You get a two-fer today!)
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 (NIV)
I was a little surprised yesterday afternoon when Wendy mentioned to me the song that she would like played at her funeral. Then, last night at dinner with friends the conversation again turned to death. We talked about aging parents, cremation, cemetery plots, and the tradition of visiting gravesides. It perhaps sounds more morbid than it was. It was fascinating to hear what others thought and felt about the subject.
I wake up this morning to find the song of Moses reminding us to be mindful of our mortality. As I number my days this morning and find myself living out my 17,257th day on this earth I am reminded of:
17,256 previous days. What do I have to show for them? How have I invested myself in them? What mistakes have I made? What corrections have I made? What can I learn from where I’ve been?
This one day I have before me and the reality that I have no guarantee of another one. How will I spend it? What will I value? How much Life can I experience within it? How can I not waste it?
The physical death which will come for each of us. Am I ready? Will I have walked this journey well?
My faith in Jesus and His teaching that whoever believes in Him will not ultimately perish but have eternal life. How should my day today look different in light of this?
So much to ponder so early in the morning. Have a great day!
Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how.” Matthew 16:24 (MSG)
I’ve been on this earth a good number of days now. Today makes 16, 418 to be exact. You’d think that somewhere along the 10,000 day mark I’d have things pretty well figured out. I mean, even with the fact that your cognitive memory doesn’t kick in for a thousand days or so, there’s still plenty of days to get things figured out.
I think the I’m as much “in process” today as any time in my entire life. The first 4,000 days processes a lot of physical growth. Then social and relational growth kicks in for a few thousand days as you process how to walk with others in the midst of your community. While relational growth pretty much goes on your entire life, my experience is that the bulk of it happens in the first 10,000 days. The patterns are set and major changes are rare (though sometimes necessary). It’s fine tuning at that point.
So after your 10,000th day, what is left to process and grow is largely spiritual. In my experience, that’s the hardest part of all. The phsyical and relational growth sort of happens naturally on its own, but spiritual growth happens mostly by choice, and choosing out of the process of spiritual growth is usually much easier in the moment than choosing in. Choosing to follow Jesus, by Jesus own admission, is a difficult path. It’s a lot about giving up possession and letting loose from control, and I’ve discovered I’m not very good at it. I am reminded today that the path that leads to Life first leads through suffering and the death. The path to the empty tomb leads first to the cross. [sigh]
I look back, then look forward, then peek deep inside. If the psalmist is right, I’ve got about 12,000 to 13,000 days left at best. Some days, I’m not sure it’ll be enough for all the spiritual processing that’s still needed.
The children of Israel were again able to live at peace in their own homes. But it didn't make any difference: They didn't change their lives, didn't turn away from the Jeroboam-sins that now characterized Israel, including the sex-and-religion shrines of Asherah still flourishing in Samaria.2 Kings 13:5b-6 (MSG)
Last week I quietly celebrated my 16,000th birthday. I was 16,000 days old last Thursday. That's a lot of days. I've been contemplating what I have to show for them. When I get to heaven and all that is worthless is burned away, how many days will be revealed to have made any difference?
How sad that God delivered the children of Israel to live in peace, but it didn't make any difference. Their days were spent in peace, but there hearts remained stagnant.
I want my days to make a difference. I may never be a difference maker on a grand scale like Superman, which is okay. I don't think I'd do well in a cape, and would look especially bad in tights. I pray that I can at least make a difference like George Bailey. Perhaps I can quietly make a subtle difference in those my life touches day-by-day.
