Friends and Flow

Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures.
Acts 18:24 (NIV)

Many years ago, I gave a message. I don’t even remember what the message was about, to be honest. What I do remember, however, is that in preparation for the message I made a list of key relationships in my life journey and charted them on a timeline of my life. These “key relationships” meant that they were friends who had a significant presence, role, and impact on my life and spiritual journey.

I remember that the exercise taught me a couple of major lessons. First, I realized that there are different types of relationships. Some relationships were significant for a key season of my journey, but then that relationship ended. I call these “relationships for a season.” Some relationships weave in and out of life in multiple seasons spread out across the journey. I think of these as “recurring relationships.” And then there are relationships that I’ve come to refer to as “Life” relationships because it doesn’t matter the time and space between correspondence, the relationship runs so deep that no amount of time or distance diminishes it.

The events of today’s chapter roughly take place around 51-52 AD. It’s been fifteen years since Paul’s fateful trip to Damascus with murderous intention to persecute the followers of Jesus there. Jesus appeared to him on the road and, in an instant, he went from being the disciples’ greatest adversary to becoming their greatest advocate. For fifteen years Paul has been traveling throughout Greece and Italy sharing Jesus’ Message to any and all who will listen to him.

What struck me about today’s chapter is that as the Jesus Movement expanded throughout the Roman Empire a new cast of characters entered the Story. We meet Priscilla and Aquila, believers from Rome who will become key relationships in Paul’s life and ministry. Then there’s Apollos, a man who simply shows up out of nowhere, but he will have a major, positive impact on the Jesus Movement and Paul will refer to him with great respect in his letters to the believers in Corinth.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about the lessons I’ve learned through these key relationships. First of all, hindsight allows me to see that there is a certain “flow” to relationships that weave in and out of life. It’s rare that a relationship begins with some type of conscious decision. I’ve never “chosen” a friend by looking at a person across the room and saying “I want that person to be a key relationship in my life!” There is life flow to key relationships in my story that I don’t control. Trust the Story.

This brings me to another lesson, which is that in trusting the Story, I’ve ceased to have expectations of friends and friendships with regard to what a relationship will be in my life. It may be for a season, it may be recurring, or it may be for Life, but that’s not really something I control. It is what it is. Trying to control it only leads to awkwardness, anxiety, and disappointment.

And, this leads to a third lesson I’ve learned, which is to accept and appreciate each type of key relationship for its role in both my life and spiritual journey. At times I have grieved that a relationship for a season was only for a season, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be grateful for that friend and that relationship that impacted me for that season.

And who knows? Perhaps today will be a day when a significant relationship flows into my life, my journey, my Story. I have no expectations, but I’m always open to how God wants to flow.