Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
John 13:7 (NIV)

When I was a young man, I worked for a small non-profit that was just getting started. As a way of helping make the financial leap of hiring me as the first employee, I agreed to raise half of my own salary for the first year. I went to family, friends, and people who were benefitting from the organization and asked for a one-year commitment to support me financially. The organization agreed to work toward making this arrangement a one-year-only commitment.

As the year wore on, I repeatedly asked for an update from the organization’s founder and board. I had told my financial supporters that it would be a one-year commitment, and I felt responsible for updating them. I even said that I might be willing to continue raising part of my salary if a plan could be worked out to slowly taper it off over time. Each month I asked if the Board had discussed a plan. Each month I was told that they didn’t get to it.

I remember being frustrated and confused during this period of time. As my work anniversary neared, it became clear to me that I was not high on the priority list, and that the circumstances I found myself in were symptoms of larger systemic issues. I made the decision that I was going to resign. This was not, however, an easy decision. I was a young husband and father of two babies. I didn’t have another job lined up. It was not a fun moment.

Having made my decision, I began notifying those who had been supporting me financially that year to let them know they could stop cutting monthly checks. One of those supporters asked me why, and I explained the situation.

“What are you going to do?” He asked.

I told him I didn’t know.

He then asked to meet with me that afternoon. He offered me a job. This summer I will celebrate my 30th work anniversary at that job.

Along my life journey, I have found myself at many waypoints of confusion.

“How did I get here?”

“What is happening right now?”

“Where in the world is this leading?”

“I don’t understand!”

I’ve discovered along the way that there are times when it is only in retrospect that I can see how God was at work in me, directing my path and guiding my steps.

Today’s chapter begins John’s recounting of the night of Jesus’ arrest. At their last supper together Jesus tells His disciples “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” This has been a recurring theme. In yesterday’s chapter, John wrote: “At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that these things had been done to him.”

As fate would have it, I find myself back at one of those confusing waypoints on life’s road at the moment. I don’t understand where things are leading. I don’t have clarity regarding the path forward. But I can look back and see how God has been faithful in all those past waypoints of confusion. I can trust Him with this one, too.

I’m back on Facebook for those who liked to read my chapter-a-day posts there! Facebook refuses to give me access to my old, hacked account, but I have started a new account. Please feel free to search for me on Facebook and friend me. If Facebook won’t let you friend me, please go to my Facebook profile and “Message” me on Facebook Messenger, which should then allow me to friend you. Cheers! -Tom

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