Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
Psalm 73:23 (NLT)
My family will tell you that I’m a “letter” guy. It’s one of the (many) quirks to which I cling. In a world of instant electronic communication I still enjoy pulling out a postcard or sheet of stationery, writing a handwritten letter, picking out a postage stamp, and sending it by snail mail. I find it more polite, personal, and intimate. Letters, in their own subtle way, are works of art.
I have also found in recent years that I enjoy reading the letters of others. I have read the letters of Vincent Van Gogh (and abridged version) and I have recently been reading the letters of J.R.R. Tolkien. Letters reveal a lot about the writer. They are more intimate and personal than a work of literature and in a letter people tend to share more directly than they would in a work for public consumption. In Tolkien’s letters I’ve discovered a man of deep and reasonable faith. I’ve found a man who avidly appreciated long hours of decent ale in small pubs with a small group of good friends in deep conversation. I’ve also discovered a man grieving the industrial age and a world at war like an ent eschewing the destructive contraptions of Saruman.
As I read the lyrics of Psalm 73 this morning, I felt like I was reading a very personal letter. Asaph shares the tale of his personal journey with a deep sense of intimate confession:
- I stumbled along the way
- I have envied those who had more than me
- I longed to enjoy the fantasy world of the rich and famous for myself
- I heard the mocking of those who scoff at the notion of God, and I listened
- I doubted, and wondered if my faith was a joke
- I felt regret for choosing to follow God’s ways
- I became embittered and torn up inside
I’ve written before that the faith journey is not a sprint but a marathon. I’m now beginning to realize that it’s more than that. You can even try to use the metaphor of an Iron Man Triathlon and it comes short. In comparison the faith journey is far more epic in proportion. Asaph is giving us a glimpse in his own personal account. It is not uncommon for those who choose it to encounter along the way: stumbling, trip-ups, doubts, envy, regrets, inner turmoil, and intensely personal questions which hinder a person’s resolve.
I loved Asaph’s conclusion: “I still belong to you.” Despite all of the difficulties, mistakes, questions, and doubts Asaph clings like a scared child to his Father’s hand. This morning I identified with Asaph’s description of his faith own journey. I get it. I understand. And, it encouraged me to continue on, even if there are days that I am nothing more than a scared child clinging to my Father’s hand.