Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8 (NIV)
We called my maternal grandfather Grandpa Spec. Spec had been his nickname for as long as anyone could remember. Everyone called him Spec, which he preferred to his given name, Claude. Grandpa Spec had a rough life. The oldest of three siblings, his father shot himself (on his 36th birthday) and Spec was farmed out to be raised by his grandparents. That was likely his salvation. His mother drug the younger two siblings through a series of failed marriages, and they both had their own difficult paths.
When Grandpa Spec was near the end of his earthly journey, there were family members who shared stories I had never heard about my grandpa.
Times were tough during the Depression and World War II. Spec’s brother, an alcoholic, asked Spec for a job. Spec agreed to hire him, but knowing his brother had a problem with alcohol he told his brother that if his drinking interfered with his work just once he would be fired. Of course, the handwriting was on the wall. Spec fired his brother the first time his drinking caused a problem with work. The brother was angry and returned to family in Illinois where he spread all sorts of lies and rumors about how poorly Spec had treated him. Spec and his brother barely spoke again. Years later, when his brother died, Spec drove to Illinois to pay his last respects only to find that the family had told the funeral home that Spec would pay for his brother’s funeral. Despite not having much money, he did.
My grandmother’s sister then shared with me about how difficult things were for her when her husband left her. She was left to try and provide for herself and her children. Grandpa Spec and Grandma Golly, her sister, would regularly make the drive to the Quad Cities from Des Moines on weekends to help her out however they could. She was a proud woman and she said that Spec knew she would refuse a handout if they offered it. So, he never offered. He simply left a $50 bill on top of the refrigerator on each visit and then would confess to knowing nothing about it.
In today’s chapter, Paul addresses with young Timothy one of the most difficult social problems of their day. In those days, widows were often left in very difficult positions with no one to support them and no real means by which to provide for themselves. Jesus’ followers had a reputation of caring for the poor and destitute, so they would often come to the Christians seeking financial help. Paul tells Timothy that the believers in Ephesus should, by all means, help those who were truly in need. He adds, however, that family should first be responsible to take care of their own.
When I read that this morning I thought of Grandpa Spec paying for the funeral of the brother who caused him nothing but trouble, and who gave to his sister-in-law when she was in need. He was never a man of great means. Life had given him every reason to play the victim card and follow the path of bitterness, anger, and hatred. He chose, however, to follow Jesus down the path of forgiveness, kindness, and generosity.
Not bad footsteps to follow.