Betrayal

Even my bosom friend in whom I trusted,
who ate of my bread, has lifted the heel against me.
Psalm 41:9 (NRSVCE)

He was a friend. I really believe that. There was a time when we connected on both a personal and spiritual level. We understood one another, and I had all sorts of empathy and understanding for those parts of him that others misunderstood to the point of rejection. When I first saw the signs of betrayal I confronted him, but he denied it and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t have, but hindsight is always 20/20, as the saying goes. Ultimately, it was revealed that he had been betraying me for some time in, and with his betrayal he wreaked havoc on many lives.

Today’s chapter, Psalm 41, is the final psalm of the first “book” in the anthology of ancient Hebrew song lyrics that is the book of Psalms. It is another song of David. It is another song written in a time of extreme illness when his political enemies were begging for his death. It is a song written from a position of loneliness and isolation. As the saying goes, “It’s lonely at the top,” and as I read the chapter in the quiet this morning I could almost feel David pouring out his heart as if God was the only friend he could count on.

The one element of today’s song that is unlike David’s other songs of lament in sickness is this glaring declaration of betrayal that sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the words and themes that I’ve already heard a number of times in the lyrics of his other works:

Even my bosom friend in whom I trusted,
who ate of my bread, has lifted the heel against me.

My mind immediately jumped to the prophetic. Jesus quoted this very verse as he dined with His closest follower on the evening of His arrest, calling out Judas on the plot he had already hatched with Jesus’ enemies. At the same time, while it is a prophetic utterance, it is not confined to that. In my podcast on the books of prophecy in the series Beginner’s Guide to the Great Story, I pointed out that God uses the language of metaphor precisely because it is powerfully layered with meaning. It is, once again, a “yes, and.”

Personal betrayal is as old as Adam blaming Eve for talking him into eating the forbidden fruit, and Cane killing his brother Abel. Betrayal is a part of the human condition and is present in all of our great stories. It is Iago plotting against Othello. It is Saruman the White leading the White Council while plotting his own power grab. It is Edmund betraying his siblings for one more helping of Turkish Delight. It is Peter Pettigrew plotting with Voldemort against James and Sirius.

Who has not experienced betrayal?

In the quiet this morning, I find myself unable to stop there. It is easy to play the victim card. I can wail in lament with David as I recall those who betrayed me like the person I described earlier. As I meditate on these things, however, I also hear the echoes of those who might easily accuse me of betrayal. Relationships are messy. As I let my mind wander across my entire life journey I have to confess that I am not spotless when it comes to acting and speaking treacherously out of my own pain, fear, envy, and insecurity. I have been a victim of betrayal. I have also been a perpetrator.

And so, I find myself whispering a familiar prayer this morning.

“Forgive me my sins, as I forgive those who sin against me.”