“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me.”
John 14:1a (NRSV)
When I was a boy, my mom used to complain about my pessimism. I fretted and fussed on a regular basis. The glass was clearly half empty in my mind, and I was perpetually certain that life would soon suck the other half dry and leave me with nothing. I have distinct memories of sitting at our kitchen counter and getting a lecture from my mother about always being a pessimist (and not really knowing what a pessimist was).
Jesus said that there is “fruit” that becomes evident in the lives of those who follow Him. As I look back at my life journey to this point, one of the things that is evident to me is that my relationship with Jesus has taught this pessimist about living with faith.
Wendy will tell you that my pessimistic spirit has not completely left me, and there are still times that my heart slips back into my natural, glass half-empty fame of mind. However, what Jesus has taught me over the years is that there is a “letting” that occurs with a troubled heart. “Do not let your heart be troubled,” He said. I allow my heart to be troubled. I choose in to the anxiety. I give fear and anxiety permission to place shackles on my spirit.
The other choice Jesus gave His followers was to believe. “Don’t let your heart be troubled,” He said, “believe.” Believe that Jesus is working all things together, even my present circumstances, for the good. Believe that God will provide. Believe that there is purpose in my present pain that I cannot see in the moment. Believe that if I embrace the mystery of the moment I will someday look back and see with clarity what that purpose was. Believe that God is with me. Believe that God is for me. Believe that God will direct my steps. Believe that God’s grace is sufficient.
Today, I am reminded just how much I have come to trust God and how much of my daily life has become predicated on faith. It’s a bit wild, actually. Taylor likes to blog about writing letters to her younger self, and this morning I find myself thinking about writing a note to the pessimistic boy getting lectured by mother at the kitchen counter.
Listen to your mother, little man, and don’t let your heart be troubled. Choose to believe what Jesus tells you. You can trust Him. Chill, and follow.