“Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.” Matthew 23:11-12 (MSG)
I’m almost 45 years into this journey, and I’m still trying to get a handle on the whole “be yourself” thing. I must confess that in my younger years I professed to have a good handle on who I was. In retrospect, I think my self confidence was part honest ignorance, part youthful innocence and part self-delusion. I’ve learned a lot about myself along the way, and the times of greatest clarity come from periods of “stepping down.”
I’ve had a lot of experience standing in a spotlight and it is a very interesting experience. The spotlight can at once be exhilirating, addicting, and powerfully intimidating. All of that attention focused completely on you. All of those eyes staring at you in the same moment. You had better be “on.” You had better look the part. You had better not embarrass yourself. Make sure the costume is perfect. Push the energy. Turn it on for the audience. Play the part. The spotlight has a tendency to reveal our blemishes, so we tend to cover them up with just so much make up.
Stepping down affords introspection out of the spotlight’s penetrating glare. It reduces pressure. It allows for things to be revealed in the normal light of every day life. It gives opportunity for change. Stepping down allows me to figure out who I am back stage and off stage. In an interesting paradox, I’ve found that the better I know myself outside of the spotlight, the better and more authentically I play my role in it.