Then scarcely had I left them
when I found my love!
I caught and held him tightly,
then I brought him to my mother’s house,
into my mother’s bed, where I had been conceived.
Song of Solomon 3:4 (NLT)
When I was a young man I found myself desperately seeking “the one.” Looking back after years of introspection and therapy, I think that I now begin to understand why I felt so driven to find a girl to marry. At the time, however, I just followed my heart and hormones without much thought or question. I was on the prowl to find the girl I would marry. To that end, I dated several girls, and was rejected by as many as I dated. Some relationships lasted a day or two. Some made it a few weeks. Some lasted months. A few where on-again-off-again over a decent span of time.
This morning I was reminded of a very nice young lady whom I dated in college. We had dated a month or so when she invited me home to meet the parents. I was a pretty sharp kid, but I was completely unaware of the gravity of her invitation. While spending the weekend with her parents and family, I suddenly began to realize that she was also on the prowl to find “the one” and she had decided that I was it. This trip home was not about a fun weekend getaway from campus. I was on display for inspection as “the one.” I found myself scared and freaked out by the sudden and subtle seriousness of the situation. I quickly and awkwardly ran away from that relationship.
I thought about that fateful weekend as I read this morning of Solomon’s young female lover dreaming of her search to find him. When she eventually locates “the one,” she immediately brings him back to her mother’s house, into her mother’s bed where she had been conceived. There is something deeply rooted in our human experience here. It’s serious stuff when a young woman takes a young man home to meet the parents. Ironically, God’s Message defines marriage as a man and woman leaving their respective parents and homes to become one with each other.
Today, I am pondering this dance of courtship that men and women have been doing since the beginning of civilization. As I think back to all of my dating relationships I shake my head at my own foolishness, awkwardness and inexperience. I appreciate many positive experiences and regret many mistakes. And yet, I am thankful for all of my relational experiences and the lessons they have taught me. Most of all, I am grateful for God leading my long and winding road of relationships to Wendy, and pray I have learned my lessons well enough to be “the one” who blesses her every day of our journey together.