Tag Archives: List

10 Ways I Tried NOT to Exasperate My Children

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

Exasperate v. ig-ˈzas-pə-ˌrāt
1. To excite the anger of: Enrage
2. To cause irritation or annoyance

From the home office in Pella, Iowa. Top Ten Ways I tried not to exasperate my children:

  1. Let them become who they are called to be, not who I wanted them to be.
  2. Be patient with their small mistakes and accidents. I make them too.
  3. Be patient with their big mistakes and accidents. I make them too.
  4. Expect progress, not perfection.
  5. Life is short: Enjoy letting them be children/teens/young adults with all the irritations, aggravations, lessons, and foibles. I’m the adult, and should be the one to understand that it’s a stage of life they are in and be patient with it.
  6. Found and complimented the beauty in who they were in the moment, refusing to tease or be critical of them in the awkward stage(s) they went through.
  7. Be critical of their behaviors, never of their person.
  8. Believe in and trust: Make my default answer “yes.”
  9. When angry or frustrated, express it appropriately. Sometimes yelling, ranting, and screaming are counterproductive. Let silence do the heavy lifting.
  10. Forgive them, just as I have (and need to be) been forgiven.

This post was originally published on April 25, 2014.

Ezra (Aug/Sep 2019)

Below you’ll find a list of chapter-a-day posts on the book of Ezra posted in August and September 2019. Click on an image to be directed to that post.

Ezra Chapter 1: At Some Point, One Must Return Home
Ezra Chapter 2: Lessons in a List of Names
Ezra Chapter 3: Weeping and Joy in the Valley of Infertility
Ezra Chapter 4: “Don’t Scare Worth a Damn”
Ezra Chapter 5: “Who are You?”
Ezra Chapter 6: Trials, Gold, and Dross
Ezra Chapter 7: Mysterious, Mystical, Gracious, and Favorable Flow
Ezra Chapter 8: Consecrated
Ezra Chapter 9: Maturity and Personal Responsibility
Ezra Chapter 10: Spiritual Infection

About…

esther (Jul/Aug 2019)

Below are chapter-a-day posts from the book of Esther published in July and August 2019. Click on an image to view the respective post for each chapter.

Esther Chapter 1: Strong Women in Weak Circumstances
Esther Chapter 2: Living in Gray
Esther Chapter 2: Bad Blood Boiling Over
Esther Chapter 4: Unlikely Hero
Esther Chapter 5: The Thrill of Pursuit
Esther Chapter 6: Coincidental Presence
Esther Chapter 7: Victim of My Own Poison
Esther Chapter 8: Structure and Flow
Esther Chapter 9: “If you only knew what it was like….”
Esther Chapter 10: A Small Cog in the Works

Please feel free to share this post! – Tom

Chapter-a-Day Posts by Book

Click on the graphic to access a summary of posts for the book. I will slowly be going back and adding book summaries. Please bookmark and keep checking back!

Jonah (June 2019)

Below you’ll find a list of chapter-a-day posts on the book of Jonah posted in June 2019. Click on an image to be directed to that post.

Chapter 1: Running and Return
Chapter 2: When Obedience Seems Not Such a Wonderful Life
Chapter 3: Same Story, Different Age
Chapter 4: Shades of Schadenfreude

10 Ways I Tried NOT to Exasperate My Children

Family
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord
. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

Exasperate v. \ig-ˈzas-pə-ˌrāt\
1. To excite the anger of: Enrage
2. To cause irritation or annoyance

From the home office in Pella, Iowa. Top Ten Ways I tried not to exasperate my children:

  1. Let them become who they are called to be, not who I wanted them to be.
  2. Be patient with their small mistakes and accidents. I make them too.
  3. Be patient with their big mistakes and accidents. I make them too.
  4. Expect progress, not perfection.
  5. Life is short: Enjoy letting them be children/teens/young adults with all the irritations, aggravations, lessons, and foibles. I’m the adult, and should be the one to understand that it’s a stage of life they are in and be patient with it.
  6. Found and complimented the beauty in who they were in the moment, refusing to tease or be critical of them in the awkward stage(s) they went through.
  7. Be critical of their behaviors, never of their person.
  8. Believe in and trust: Make my default answer “yes.”
  9. When angry or frustrated, express it appropriately. Sometimes yelling, ranting, and screaming are counter productive. Let silence do the heavy lifting.
  10. Forgive them, just as I have (and need to be) been forgiven.

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Don’t Worry, It’s on the List

Chapter-a-Day Psalm 56

You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

Lists. My life is full of lists. Wendy is the Queen of the Lists. Her royal highness manages the Vander Well realm via a series of lists. There is the white board calendar list which used to list our daughters schedules, but now lists our evening meals for the week. There is the kitchen grocery list that is updated any time you use the last of something in the kitchen. There is the Playhouse list of what needs to go to the lake. The other day I was asked to print the rehearsal list for the theatre. I have a work list, a honey-do list, and a list of people to call. I have a list of chapters we’ve covered on this chapter-a-day journey. There’s a list of DVDs we own, a “must see” movie list, and a list of movies in our queue. My computer holds mailing lists, show lists, and cast lists.

This post is beginning to feel like Dr. Seuss.

Big list. Little list. List, list, list.
How many lists must I insist
on managing all that life persists
to throw my way as I exist?

In the days when David wrote the lyric of today’s psalm, kings and rulers in authority were known to be keepers of lists and records. Because the written word was rare and reserved almost exclusively for rulers, it was a big deal for Kings to have anything that was written down read to them. Sometimes, if the king had a bout of insomnia for example, he would ask his servants to read from the records, chronicles and lists. In doing so, he would sometimes run across an item on the list on which he would act. There are at least two very clear references of God using circumstances like this to fulfill His purposes in the old stories:

In the story of Esther: “That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him.” (the chapter-a-day entries for this chapter from 2009 and from 2012)

In the story of Josiah: “Then Shaphan the secretary informed [King Josiah], ‘Hilkiah the priest has given me a book.’ And Shaphan read from it in the presence of the king.” (the chapter-a-day entry for this chapter)

When David’s lyrics refer to his tears being stored up and his troubles recorded, the image he is creating is that of his lament being written on God’s royal record. It is chronicled and will not be forgotten by God who sits on the throne. God sees. God knows. It will not be forgotten. It’s written on the list.

We all go through periods of life when we feel alone. Our troubles seem so huge. Our prayers seem to hit the ceiling and bounce back. We wonder if God is listening. We question whether God even cares.

Today, I’m reminded that God says the number of my days is already accounted for in His records. My name is recorded in His book. Even the decreasing number of hairs on my head is on a list somewhere in heaven’s royal archive. Certainly, I am not abandoned despite the intensity of my feelings to the contrary. My troubles are not forgotten. My cares are known.

 

Pursuit of Happiness #27

Today’s post pursuit of happiness post is actually a response to the message I heard in worship yesterday. It was a great reminder that we so often live each day wading through guilt and/or toxic shame which oozes into our souls from any number of sources. Followers of Jesus are so quick to believe the lies and critical blurts others throw our way, and so slow to believe the truth of our identity in Christ.

Many years ago I did a little personal study in which I listed out a host of affirmations about my identity in Christ from God’s message. I still pull this out and read through the list on occasion. It’s like spiritual chiropractic for me, straightening out my self-talk and helping me shed some of the twisted, shame based thoughts I whisper to myself. I post it here hoping that it might be an encouragement to others.

I urge you to find a quiet place and read through this list out loud, starting each line with “I am…” Your heart will feel lighter by the time you get to the end of the list!

I am…

fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)
made in the likeness of God (James 3:9)
worth more than many sparrows (Mt. 10:31; Lk 12:7)
God’s workmanship (Eph 2:10)
chosen (I Peter 1:2; 2:9)
crucified with Christ; Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20)
brought near to God by the blood of Christ (Eph 2:13)
made holy through the body of Christ once for all (Heb 10:10)
saved by God’s grace (Eph 2:5,8)
delivered from death to life (Rom 6:13)
forgiven – my sins remembered no more (I Jhn 2:12; Heb 10:17)
purified from all unrighteousness (I Jhn 1:9)
clean (Jhn 15:3; Jhn 13:10)
of those who believe and are saved (Heb 10:39)
in Christ (Jhn 14:20)
born anew (I Peter 1:23)
justified through faith (Rom 5:1)
set free from sin (Rom 6:18, 22)
no longer under supervision of the law (Gal 3:25)
released from the law (Rom 7:6)
healed (I Peter 2:24)
given fullness in Christ (Col 2:10)
in him who is true (I Jhn 5:20)
raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly realms (Eph 2:6; Col 3:1)
blessed (I Peter 2:9)
receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken (Heb 12:28)
son/daughter of God (Gal 3:26)
an heir of God (Gal 4:6; I Jhn 3:2; Rom 8:17)
son/daughter of light (I Th 5:5)
a member of God’s household (Eph 2:19)
a citizen of heaven (Eph 2:19)
a branch (Jhn 15:5)
a friend of God (Jhn 15:14)
God’s field (I Cor 3:9)
God’s building (I Cor 3:9)
God’s temple (I Cor 3:17; 2 Cor 6:16)
God’s house (Hebrews 3:6)
the body of Christ (I Cor 12:27)
one with other believers (Gal 3:28)
a member of one body (Eph 4:25)
of a people belonging to God (I Peter 2:9)
called (Jude 1:1)
God’s fellow worker (I Cor 3:9)
of a royal priesthood (I Peter 2:9)
witness (Mt 24:48; I Thess 2:10)
competent as a minister (2 Cor 3:6)
led by the Spirit of God (Gal 5:18)
a letter from Christ (2 Cor 3:3)
the aroma of Christ (2 Cor 2:15)
Christ’s ambassador (2 Cor 5:20)
the light of the world (Mt 5:14; Eph 5:8)
the salt of the earth (Mt 5:13)
more than a conqueror (Rom 8:37)
being renewed day by day (2 Cor 4:16)
enriched in every way (I Cor 1:5)
given a trust (I Cor 4:2)
looking for a city that is to come (Hebrews 13:14)

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Chapter-a-Day Amos 4

Sears Christmas Catalog Wish Book 1981
Image by flashbacks.com via Flickr

People would stagger from village to village crazed for water and never quenching their thirst. But you never got thirsty for me. You ignored me.” God’s Decree. Amos 4:8 (MSG)

Our daughter was here the other day to borrow Christmas music. It’s that time of year. The holidays are almost upon us. It is the time of year when, as a child, the Sears & Roebuck Christmas “Wish Book” would arrive. Hour upon hour was spent pouring over the massive toy section. I made my wish list for Santa Claus.

There has never been a Christmas when the gifts I received fell short of my need. I may not have gotten everythiny on my wish list, but I always ended up with more than I really needed.

When you have little need, it’s easy to feel little need for God.

God, as we enter this holiday season, help me hunger and thirst for you more than anything else.

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Chapter-a-Day Isaiah 63

Sonnet 43 I'll make a list of God's gracious dealings,
   all the things God has done that need praising,
All the generous bounties of God
…. Isaiah 63:7 (MSG)

As a morning person, I'm usually reading each day's chapter as my brain is still transitioning between dream and reality. There is a creative connection between our dreams and our waking life. Often, the first minutes of our morning when our brain's subconscious has, for hours, been engaged in thoughts unfiltered by our conscious can lead to some interesting thoughts (but that's a post for another day).

So it was that I read the verse above and my brain immediately referenced Elizabeth Barret Browning's famous sonnet

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…"

However, in my yet sleep fogged mind, the famous opening line was scrambled into…

"How does God love me? Let me count the ways…"

It's not quite what Browning was writing about, but it gave me a laugh and a good exercise for my day. How many ways can I count off God's love for me? Here's the top ten that come to mind this morning….

The beautiful sunrise over the back of the bay.
Hot coffee.
The cool breeze off the lake.
My wife, her love so life-giving, lying warm and at peace in bed.
My children…I see their smiles, I feel their hugs, I know their love even across the miles.
Answered prayers.
Faithful presence.
Kind forgiveness.
Sacrificial love.
Amazing grace.

How does God love you? What's on your list this morning?

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and nlscotland