Get and read God's book: None of this is going away, this breeding, brooding evil. Isaiah 34:16a (MSG)
Marriage is a great magnifying glass. Thrust two people into life together 24/7/365 and you are bound to quickly discover more than you perhaps cared to know about your spouse, and about yourself. You are a broken person. So am I. As human beings we have the capacity to love, but also the capacity for evil.
We like to distance ourselves from the thought of evil. We relegate evil to gross acts of serial murder or genocide that happen somewhere else, to someone else. We read about it in the paper. We see it on the news. It doesn't effect me.
Augustine, however, defined evil as the absence of love. In that context, we commit acts of evil to those we supposedly love on a daily basis. Our selfish and self-centered acts, void of love, drain life from our relationship. In a real sense, our love-less words and actions easily become a slow act of relational and spiritual murder. A slow IV drip of evil into the veins of our relationship.
As Jakob Dylan sings, "evil is alive and well." As Isaiah writes, "none of this is going away."
This doesn't mean that the situation is hopeless. Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." In Jesus, the resources are found for real change. Forgiveness, cleansing, healing, redemption, peace, joy, life and love are available in increasing, abundant measure.