Tag Archives: Why?

Time, Distance, and Perspective

[King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon] took into exile in Babylon those who had escaped from the sword, and they became servants to him and to his sons until the establishment of the kingdom of Persia, to fulfill the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah, until the land had made up for its sabbaths. All the days that it lay desolate it kept sabbath, to fulfill seventy years.
2 Chronicles 36:20-21 (NRSVCE)

Struggle, discouragement, loss, conflict, death, and divorce. Along my Life journey I’ve experienced both events and seasons I didn’t understand in the moment. I had no good answers to the “why” questions. From my vantage point on the road of life, the dark clouds surrounding me had no silver lining. Daily life became a slog through confusion, anxiety, grief, and even despair.

I know my experience is not the exception, but the rule. While the exact events and seasons may differ from person to person, I don’t know a single person who has not experienced at least a few “mountain top” moments in life, nor is there a person I know who hasn’t walked through what the Psalmist aptly describes as “the valley of the shadow of death.” Even Jesus in His earthly journey had His mountain top transfiguration contrasted with His guttural cry of despair: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

In today’s chapter we finish the book of 2 Chronicles. It’s a Cliff Notes version of the final Kings of Judah who become puppets of both the Eyptian and Babylonian empires. The season of Judah as an independent kingdom is over.

What fascinated me as I read the Chronicler’s final chapter is how he left the story. It’s very different than the scribe who wrote a parallel history in the book of 2 Kings. The scribe of Kings was writing at the time of the Babylonian exile. The story simply comes to an end with the fall of the Kingdom to Babylon. He is writing in the dark cloud of defeat. He has no vantage point of time and distance. He has no answers to the “why” questions. He is struggling to make sense out of the circumstances.

The Chronicler, however, is writing post-exile. He’s is further down the road of life and history. Cyrus, King of Persia, has allowed the Hebrew exiles to return to Jerusalem and has made allowance for wall of Jerusalem and the Temple to be rebuilt. There is a new beginning. There is hope. The Chronicler looks back at the exile and sees prophetic fulfillment. He sees that the exile has allowed his homeland to experience sabbath in preparation for a new season, the planting of new seeds, and the anticipation of new life and possibility of a fruitful future.

This morning I’m thinking about the ebb and flow of our respective journeys and our stories. There will be mountain top moments. There will be deep valleys and despair. I won’t always have “why” answers in the moment. In fact, I come to accept that I may never have certain “why” answers that satisfy my heart this side of eternity. If I keep pressing on, however, I may be able to look back with much needed perspective. Like the Chronicler, I may see in retrospect that to which I was blind in the moment.

At the end of every valley is another rise, and that which lies beyond. I won’t see it until I get there.

Possibility. Anticipation. Hope.

Choosing to Believe

source: pictoquotes via Flickr
source: pictoquotes via Flickr

You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.
Job 42:3 (NIV)

Earlier in our walk through the book of Job I shared some of Wendy’s and my experience with infertility. Many of Job’s questions echoed our own questions during the darkest days of our striving to have a child together. The questions still arise from within us at times, but it happens less frequently the further we get in our journey.

The truth of the matter is that I still don’t understand. I have made peace with the fact that we will never understand on this side of eternity. Some things we will simply never know or comprehend. I can choose to let it eat away at my insides until my existence becomes enveloped in bitterness, madness, or both. That’s not a great way to live.

Wendy was the last of her close group of friends to get married. She was 33 when we wed nine years ago. She shared with me some of her struggles with singleness, and she finally found a place to rest in it. “If God is good,” she told me, “and I believe He is, if God has my best interests in mind, and I believe He does, then I have to trust that there is purpose and a plan for what I’m going through even if I don’t understand it.”

That same logic helped us through our struggles with infertility. I still find myself repeating it from time to time when the scabs on the soul wound begin to itch. As I read today’s epilogue from the story of Job, it seems to me that Job came to the same conclusion, though he used different words. Sometimes you have to choose to believe. That’s called faith. Not only is faith required to believe that God exists, but also to believe that God has a purpose and a plan for me despite my present circumstances.

The Eternal Question on this Temporal Earth

source: h-k-d via Flickr
source: h-k-d via Flickr

Yet when I hoped for good, evil came;
when I looked for light, then came darkness.
Job 30:26 (NIV)

Why is it that bad things happen to good people?

Why did my friend and his wife get hit by a drunk driver? He was a great husband and father. Why did he languish in a vegetative state for years? Why did those six sweet kids have to endure that loss?

Why does my friend have to endure such deep mental illness? He’s such a great guy. So full of life and so much to offer the world. Why did he end up getting stuck with crazy?

Why was it that marriage was such a struggle from the start? How did I end up the victim of this piece of false advertising? Two young people who love God and have nothing but the best of intentions, desires, and love for one another find that there is a deep fissure in the bedrock of relationship that drains life rather than filling it.

How is it that he ended up with a rare brain tumor? Why did his whole family have to endure the fallout of his messed up brain and behaviors?

Why did their baby die?

Why did she have to die? How on earth can someone so young and so full of life and potential end up with terminal cancer? There are so many who deserve death more than she does, and so much life that she has to offer the world. Why her?

Why would he lose his job? He’s the most genuine man of faith and has more integrity than any other three friends combined. He works harder than most anyone I know. Why did he lose his job and have his entire life put at financial risk while those other materialistic, lying, cheating sloths continue to rake in the big bucks?

Why is it that her womb remains empty? Why didn’t our babies ever make it? How is it that a homeless teen crack addict gets pregnant, repeatedly, and it just won’t happen for us?

Why do bad things happen to good people? Each one of these examples stems from experiences on my own journey. The further I traverse the path the more examples I add to the pile of experiences that lead me back to Job. That’s why Job’s story has resonated with humanity through the millennia. His question is our question. We all seek to understand the answer to this simple, unfathomable query.