Tag Archives: Wendy

Memory Monday

Popping the Question 10 Years Ago

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It was just over ten years ago that I asked Wendy to marry me. These days it seems that video technology and social media have made popping the question an industry unto itself with ever crazier stunts and extravaganzas. In August of 2005, however, few people had heard of Facebook (it started in February 2004) and Twitter did not exist. So, in the small town of Pella, Iowa I was just this one guy trying to find a creative way to ask the woman I love if she’d marry me.

The theatre seemed a good place to do it. Wendy and I met in community theatre and the stage was our shared passion. The other thing that I wanted to include were friends who had walked with us through this particular tumultuous stretch of our respective journeys. And so, I staged a little production for Wendy’s surprise that began with scheduling a dinner at Monarch’s restaurant with our friends, Kevin and Becky.

I picked up Wendy at her apartment that gorgeous, late summer evening. She’d just gotten home from work at Goalsetters and it had not been a good day for her. She was running late and wanted to get freshened up before dinner. As she prepared for the evening, I received a call on my cell phone from Pat telling me that he was at the Community Center auditorium and needed some help. Our community theatre’s summer production had just finished a week or two before and there were a few large, straggling set pieces that needed to be put away. At least, that was the story I fed Wendy. She was a bit annoyed at the interruption and asked why it had to be right then, but I assured her it would just take a moment and that Kevin and Becky would understand.

We arrived at the Community Center and I encountered the first hiccup to my master plan. Wendy was still putting make-up on in the car and told me to go in and help Pat while she finished. I went in and informed my co-consipirator that Wendy would be in momentarily. The moment lingered, however, and I became increasingly nervous as it became obvious to me that she was not planning to come in.

My heart was already pounding with anticipation as I stepped out of the Community Center door and motioned for Wendy to come in. “We need your help!” I yelled to her in the car. I could feel her increased annoyance as she got out of the car and trudged up the steps. Hastily I improvised a story about needing help holding the curtain back while we hoisted a flat up into storage. I ignored her grumbling as we made our way into the Community Center, into the auditorium, and up to the stage.

The stage was empty and the overhead floods were on. I led Wendy onto the stage telling her that we just needed her to hold the curtain at the far end while we lifted a flat. What Wendy didn’t know was that when she hit her mark, center stage, she was going to get the surprise of her life.

As she reached center stage the lights went out to the pitch blackness of a closed auditorium. Amidst the darkness, all of our friends who had been hiding behind the tormenter curtains lining the back of the stage came out to their places in front of the curtains. A spotlight came on suddenly and highlighted the two of us. I turned to look at Wendy whose eyes had grown huge in shock.

In the spotlight, I dropped to my knee and pulled out that little box. It suddenly dawned on Wendy what was happening. There, center stage, surrounded by friends and loved ones, I asked Wendy to be my wife as she melted into tears, said “Yes,” and then leaned down to kiss me.

Dinner at Monarch’s with Kevin and Becky turned into dinner at Monarch’s with all of those who shared the moment with us. It’s amazing to think that it was a decade ago. “A lot of water under the bridge,” as they say. Still, it doesn’t take much for me to be right back in the midst of that memory, and I’ll admit that my heart still skips a beat when I go there.

I should mention that I had our photographer hiding on the floor of the auditorium. As soon as the lights went black, he popped up from between the rows of seats and began snapping pictures. We turned the photos our our engagement into 5×7 notepads that were given out as gifts to guests at our wedding reception.

Photo Friday

Wendy with a Red Halo

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Wendy with the Red Halo

Some photos just happen in an unexpected moment, and this photo has become one of my favorite personal examples. Wendy’s favorite color is red. This past June while visiting Scotland’s Museum of Contemporary Art in Edinburgh, Wendy took a seat on a bench in one of the galleries to rest. I turned to look at her and realized that the artwork behind her made this gorgeous red halo. How apt. She had no idea why I lifted my camera and snapped her picture, but I loved the result.

Throwback Thursdays, Wayfarer's Journal

TBT: 10 Years Ago

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wendy@artfest2005It was 10 years ago this summer that I asked Wendy to marry me. This photo was taken the day we looked at rings. Great woman, good memories.

Wayfarer's Journal

Wendy’s Birthday: Conspiracy & Celebration

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Today is Wendy’s birthday, but the celebration began on Friday with a birthday celebration in Des Moines. Well, technically the celebration began this past summer when the conspiracy of her birthday gift began. We had gone to attend the Des Moines Art Festival this past July with our friends Kevin and Becky, but there was a torrential downpour that afternoon. So, we headed to the “other” art show in town that weekend in the Varied Industries Building of the State Fairgrounds.

As we made our way through the displays we happened upon the booth of Mark and Patti Monroe Mohrenweiser from Brighton, Michigan (www.beyondletters.com) who specialize in encaustic and mixed media art. Encaustic is an ancient technique in which colored pigments are added to hot beeswax and then applied to a surface. It creates a beautiful, etherial look. You should know that Wendy is a tactile person, and it kills her not be able to touch the art at a museum. She wants to run her hands over the texture of the artwork and feel the artist’s brush strokes. When Mark invited her to run her hands over all of the artwork and feel the texture of the wax, Wendy was in heaven.

And then, from amidst her tactile heaven, Wendy saw the angel. On a field of sheet music the angel was stretched out across a stone pedestal, her head buried in her arms, in full lament. Wendy’s reaction to the angel was both immediate and emotional. I stood behind her and witnessed it. I thought she was going to cry standing there. I knew that there was something in the artwork that was connecting with something deep inside of her. She would have gladly stood and stared at it (and ran her hands over it) all day.

Even though Wendy’s birthday was six months away, I knew that Wendy needed to own this painting and it needed to hang in our new house. The real trick was how to make it happen. I needed a team of conspirators. The following day I snuck up to my office after church to call Mark and make a deal with him over the phone. I then called Taylor and asked if she could make a secret run to the fairgrounds to pick up the artwork. Taylor was living with Kevin and Becky at that time, so I brought them in on the conspiracy to secret away our lamenting angel until December. It was a long wait. As Wendy’s birthday approached I realized that the special artwork needed special wrapping and I’m terrible at wrapping gifts. So, I dropped of the artwork a couple of weeks ago with the ladies at Thistles florist here in Pella to do a special wrap job for me.

We headed to Des Moines for Wendy’s birthday celebration on Friday. She got a massage and we checked into a hotel room for the night. We headed to Django with my conspiratorial allies, Kevin and Becky, for her birthday meal and we opened a bottle of our favorite Warburn Estate shiraz  (which is now seemingly impossible to procure and only opened on very special occasions). I couldn’t hide the huge, beautifully wrapped box, of course, so Wendy was intrigued all afternoon and evening what was in it. After dinner we retired back to Kevin and Becky’s where Wendy opened her gift. I was so glad that it worked out for Kevin and Becky to watch Wendy open it since they were an integral part of making it happen. Wendy was stunned when she saw it, and I loved watching her surprise.

On Saturday we continued with Wendy’s birthday wish list which included breakfast at Cracker Barrel and a matinee movie. We went to see Big Hero 6 and thoroughly enjoyed it. Back to Pella late in the afternoon to prepare for an evening with our friends Kevin and Linda who had invited us, along with a two other couples, over for some Christmas cheer.

I needed to shave and shower before we headed to the party. When I got out of the shower I went to tell Wendy that I was out of the bathroom and it was her turn. I couldn’t find her anywhere. When I did finally locate her she was sitting curled up on the floor in the living room staring at her lamenting angel. It made me happy.

Random Thoughts, Tom's Photos, Wayfarer's Journal

My Life: A Photo Abecedarius

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W is for “Wendy.”

  • Friend
  • Confidant
  • Muse
  • Constant companion
  • Lover
  • Stage partner
  • Life partner
  • Favorite photography subject

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Chapter-a-Day

Warmth

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Art Center date with m'love. Now off to Django!
(Photo credit: Tom Vander Well)

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Ecclesiastes 4:11 (NIV)

It is feeling more and more like autumn. There is a chill in the air, and the temperatures last night dipped lower than they have since the last breath of winter gave way to the new life of spring five or six months ago. According to the Banker Weather station nearby we’re only about fifteen degrees from freezing this morning.

And, our frugal Dutch blood has challenged Wendy and me to see how long we can go before we break down and crank up the boiler. So, this morning found Wendy and I snuggled like spoons under our summer bedding, not wanting to get up to face the cold. Thus, I’m a little later than usual with this post.

Today, I have nothing profoundly spiritual share. I’m simply thankful for the warmth of Wendy on chilly autumn mornings. 🙂

Chapter-a-Day

Blueprints, Planning, and Appreciation

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Sewer Line“It was because you, the Levites, did not bring it up the first time that theLord our God broke out in anger against us. We did not inquire of him about how to do it in the prescribed way.” 1 Chronicles 15:13 (NIV)

For the past three months, Wendy and I have been working on plans to build a house.  We’d vigorously pursued a plan to renovate and update our existing home for the past few years. However, very much in the spirit of what I wrote in yesterday’s post, the answer to our prayers was not what we had anticipated. So, we suddenly find ourselves pouring over blueprints and contemplating an endless number of decisions regarding the most minute details.

When it comes to these types of projects, the stark differences between Wendy and me become readily apparent. Wendy’s brain works very logically and methodically. She is great with details, processes, plans, and methods. My brain works in imaginative, big picture vistas and doesn’t sweat the details. Within this contrast lies both our strength and our struggle.

Despite the conflicts that arise out of our differences, I have a real appreciation for the logic and details which stimulate Wendy’s brain, and I understand that when things are not done properly then bad, or at the very least frustrating, things can happen. When we planned the lower level of the house at the lake (which we finished ourselves with the help of family and friends), Wendy had the floor plan mapped out perfectly. The contractor didn’t read her plans carefully, however, and ran the sewer line in the wrong spot. We had to alter our plan and change the dimensions of the bathroom. To this day, we don’t walk in the bathroom on the lower level without noticing the wrong proportions.

Through the years I’ve come to realize and appreciate that God is the epitome of both the left brain and right brain that he designed into we humans who are “made in His image.” God is both artist and engineer. He creates in an endless stream of big picture imagination and, at the same time, designs things down to the sub-atomic level. There is a place, purpose, and a need for both.

In today’s chapter, David realizes that in his big picture idea of moving the Ark of the Covenant to his newly establish capitol of Jerusalem, he had missed the details God designed into the proper way the Ark was to be handled and moved. Realizing his mistake, David goes back to the drawing board and makes sure that everything would be done properly according to the detailed instructions God had laid out.

I can confidently say that my brain will never work like Wendy’s. I doubt there will ever be a time in which I will be excited and stimulated by planning processes and minute details. I can, however, confidently say that I’ve learned to appreciate and value those like Wendy who are wired that way. I appreciate that God reveals Himself to be intimately concerned with details. Sometimes, I am required to consciously adjust both my thoughts and my attitude accordingly.

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Wayfarer's Journal

Weekend in Review

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It was a very enjoyable weekend for Wendy, Suzanna and me. As I mentioned in my previous post, we hosted a script reading on Friday night. It was a wonderful and fascinating mixture of people. There were several from our circle of theatre friends, but we also had some friends who had never been to a script reading before and for whom it was a new experience. There was a lot of laughter, and fun had by all. The final guest left some time after midnight and Wendy and I didn’t get to bed until after 1:00 a.m.

Saturday was Wendy’s birthday! Her wish was to spend a quiet day together and then go out with friends in the evening. We got the first half accomplished as we spent a leisurely day together. She opened her gifts in the morning and we watched some shows from our growing DVR queue. Our evening plans were scuttled when our friends from Des Moines chose not to drive down after hearing snow in the forecast. I feel bad for Wendy and all who have birthdays this time of year. It’s such a bummer when your own birthday party gets cancelled, especially when it’s cancelled on the threat of snow and it turns our it all would have been just fine. Nevertheless, Suzanna and I took Wendy out to eat and we came back home to watch Brave. We were blessed with an unscheduled visit by Chad and Shay later in the evening which lifted Wendy’s spirits.

The snow did arrive during the night. We had 6-8 inches of it. So, we decided to continue the theme of a quiet weekend at home. I got the snowblower out for the first time this year and we watched our Vikings get crushed by the Bengals. Yikes, I can’t wait for this season to be over so we can put it behind us. We then finished up the last of the wrapping of Christmas gifts and got the house picked up so that we’re ready for Christmas.

Tom's Photos

Late Night Conversation

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2013 09 27 Late Night Conversation
Canon 6D f/4 1/10 ISO12800

I shot this on a quick whim the other night. It’s far from a perfect shot, but I immediately fell in love with it. I love Suzanna’s awkward teenager stance and the fact that her socks are different colors. I love that Wendy is turned away from her desk and leaning in towards Suzanna.

One of the things I have learned while working with youth and raising teenagers is that important conversations often happen late at night. Perhaps it’s that our guard comes down at night when we’re weary of trying to hold it up. Perhaps it’s that the phone isn’t ringing and there’s no one rushing off to some immediate appointment. Perhaps it’s a combination of things. Whatever the reason, I relish the opportunity to have meaningful conversations with kids who are honestly just trying to figure things out in an increasingly complex world.

Tom's Photos

Sunset Cruise

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2013 07 10 Sunset Cruise1