Tag Archives: Tongue

Diagnosis I Didn’t Ask For

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.
James 3:9-10 (NIV)

Wendy and I were on our way to worship this past Sunday morning. We were having a conversation about an individual who had made some major mistakes in leadership which led to many painful and widespread consequences.

“They were worthless at the job,” I said as I drove.

“Let’s say they were ‘incapable’ at the job,” Wendy said softly but directly. “No one is ‘worthless.’”

She was so, so correct.

“I’m trying to be more careful about the words I use when speaking of others,” she then added.

I immediately apologized and accepted my error. I need to be more careful with my words.

This episode in the car with Wendy happened amidst the final editing process of my upcoming book. In the process of editing my original manuscript, my editor pointed out a similarly painful observation. She noticed that I at times used harsh language when I wrote about certain individuals I had encountered along my career. She felt it was important enough that she point it out to me.

“I know your heart, Tom,” she said to me. “And, this is not the person you want to be. I knew you’d want me to be honest about what I’m seeing.”

Ugh. I have a blind spot.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Some mornings as I read and meditate on the chapter I have to dig deep to mine what God has for me in the text. Other mornings, it simply jumps off the page and slaps me across the face.

That was this morning.

Most of today’s chapter James focuses on the power of the tongue. It’s such a small part of our physical whole yet it has disproportionate affect. James likens it to the rudder of a ship as it can steer me in the wrong direction. He likens it to a spark that can unleash a wildfire of conflict and controversy I didn’t intend.

As I meditated on it this morning I likened it to a living cardiogram — my words revealing symptoms of heart trouble. Harsh, rash words about others are indicators that bitterness, anger, and contempt have been building up inside like plaque in my spiritual arteries.

And so, I find myself sitting here in the quiet knowing there are some things I need to do.

First, I need to take some time for introspection. I need to ask God to help me take an honest look inside at where some ugly thoughts and feelings about others have been building up inside me.

Next comes confession. As I discover where that build-up of bitterness is hiding and with whom I’m harboring ill-will, I need to use my tongue to honestly speak it out loud to God and members of my inner-circle with whom I know I am safe and am surrounded by love and grace.

Finally, I need to be accountable. A diabetic constantly monitors their blood-sugar to watch for signs of a problem. I need to better monitor my words, especially when I’m speaking about others. Once again, my inner-circle are my best source for that assistance.

I have discovered a problem.
I have been given a prescription.
Now — by grace — I must take the medicine.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

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Easy Prey

For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle.
James 3:2 (NRSV)

Public speaking has been a big part of my life and vocation since I was a very young man. I have stood in front of many groups both big and small, and I have addressed a host of subjects with listeners.

When you step into the spotlight of the podium you are setting yourself up for scrutiny. Often the environment itself lends itself to critique. You as the speaker are alone, elevated before the crowd with bright lights shining directly on you. I have often quipped that when you stand up before a group of people you have an invisible target on you. You’re easy prey; The proverbial sitting duck. People will listen with critical ears, watch with critical eyes, tear apart your words, and question both your message and your motivations.

Even as I write this I am flooded with a host of memories. I regularly have complete strangers correct me, challenge me, and criticize me. And, quite often, they are correct. Wise King Solomon said, “Where words are many, sin is not absent.” The more you speak, the greater likelihood of staying something wrong, stupid, ignorant, or offensive.

And, that is James’ point in today’s chapter. For being such a small thing, the tongue can get me into all sorts of trouble. This morning I’m thinking about words. Words from the podium, words in blog posts, words in conversation, words in tweets, words to strangers, words with loved ones.

This morning I’m reminded of what James wrote back towards the beginning of his letter: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak….” Today, I endeavor, once again, to apply that simple principle.

Beginning now.

(Have a nice day!)